HOPELESS REALITY

CHAPTER 41

After the classes have ended for the day , Yoona immediateky gathered her things and fled well like teleported out of the classroom before any of her friends especially Yuri could approach her.  Yoona then suddenly appeared in her new room which the prinicipal had provided the princess before. A building of her own which is big enough to even consider of being more than a room. She went to the bathroom and laid her body on the tub trying to  get rid of any signs or marks that will make her remember the past two months she had inside the palace. However, there was nothing but healing scars now but still, Yoona felt used not only by the Princess but also the memories that had surfaced inside her head. 

"So she and the princess?"

"How lucky !?"

"how about Yuri ? They already broke up right ?

"Well, it's the princess and our future ruler after all. Yuri doesn't stand a chance"

"I wonder what will the princess do if she finds out about Yuriand her Yoona?"

"i think she knew already."

" How did you know? "

"Look at the Yoona. She had something covering her right arm ?"

"Dont you think..."

" It's a mark ! A royal mark. For sure the princess had made sure that Yoona will not betray her"

"So the Princess had already put on a collar to keep her dog in place huh " 

Murmurs and silent talks wherever she goes had clearly been engraved on her mind. How those students and faculty members had assume things easily and accepted it as the most logical possibility of her being gone for two months.

She closed her eyes hoping to find calmness but then vision of an old man dying inside the cellar has always haunted her keeping her from having a good sleep and rest. She instead focus her attention on her bandaged right hand which was soaked in water

She carefully removed the bandage and observe that the redness alongside the royal symbol engraved at the back of her hand was now gone. She examined carefully the engraved royal mark on her hand embossed and forever attached on her smooth hand.

"These hands save me, Yoona. Do you know how much warmth these two hands bring me everytime I touch it and everytime I held it? These hands are proof that you are here, real..existing and you are with me" Yuri affectionately said during one of of the times there are the only the two of them. 

Yoona remembered it and let out a bitter smile.  " Will you be able to say those words again , Yul ? Will you be able to stay with me still?" she said talking to no one. She then let out a sigh and looked up. 

Two years...what could have been done for such a short period of time?  Yoona thought as she got up and dressed out of her uniform and into something more casual.

Yoona quietly walked outisde of her room passing by the large living room and the kitchen going straightly outside of the building. As soon as she locked the door and secure the key with her , she was not surprise to see Yuri waoiting outside of the bui;lding.

"Why am I not so surprise that you always know where to find me, Yul?" Yoona asked rhetorically smiling as if everything was still normal and two months had not passed by with her.

"You are keeping distance to us , to me. You are running away again. " Yuri said seriously at Yoona.

Yoona tried to deny Yuri's accusation but by the looks Yuri was giving her, she knew that there were no better excuse rather than silence.

"Do you know how miserable I am not knowing where to find you?"

"Do you know how afraid I am when I found out that you are with the Princess?"

"The things that she can do. The things she is about or will do especially with you...I, I-- do you know how helpless I am for the past months?"

Yuri bombarded Yoona all her frustrations and anguish. The doe eyed girl could not do anything but to look away ashamed for making Yuri feel helpless of the situation.

Yuri was yet again met with a silence answer. She observed the younger girl and noticed how tired and exhausted she looked. She saw the newly bandaged right hand of Yoona. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know and most importantly she wanted to understand but then again , all her questions were answered with nothing but the stillness of the night. 

Yuri clenched her fists hoping that all her pent up feelings will be gone but who she was kidding, she knew- Yuri knew that the moment Savannah looked at her with victorious smile inside the classroom awhile ago, she knew that something had happened. Something that she feared the most and she could not do anything right now but to rush closer to Yoona and hugged her tight.

" I won't ask. I won't care about them. I will only believe in whatever you will say. I will only believe you, Yoona. So please, don't cut me off. Don't keep me away in your life again because I don't know if I can take another rejection from you" Yuri softly sobbed letting her vulnerable self show only to the most important person to her. 

Hearing Yuri plead and how miserable her voice was were like a dagger had pierced Yoona's heart. the pain she felt before was nothing compared to the painshe felt right now, knowing that she was the cause of it. Yoona wrapped her arms on Yuri's body securely and hug her closer than ever as she she uttered a countless of apologies inside her head for all the pain Yuri went to because of her.  

Yoona then released herself from the hug but remain the close distance between her and Yuri. She then looked Yuri's beautifful face lovingly as she wiped the tears that fall from the older girl's face.

"Everything is a bit confusing right now. But what I know is that I love you, Yuri" Yoona said desperately.

"I will always be yours, Yuri even if everyone will say otherwise. Do you belive that ?" Yoona asked as she let a tear fall from her face afraid that Yuri out of all people will not trust her.

Yuri smiled, a loving and caring smile. " Of course I believe you, I love you more than anything in this world " she said as she cupped Yoona's face and rested her forhead to Yoona's as they looked at each other's eyes.

Yoona laughed a little knowing how silly emotional they were right now - standing outside of the building, letting the cold breeze hit their bodies as they pour their hearts out and confessed their undying love to each other.

"Hey Yoong, Sica is having a sleepover with Sooyoung and the rest. Would you like to stay in my room tonight?" Yuri asked and was answered by a loving smile by Yoona as they held hands on the way to Yuri's room.

As they approached Yuri's dorm and closed the door, Yuri was then genlt moved backwards against the wall as Yoona cornered her and kissed her. Yuri was surprised but did not protest but instead draped her arms around Yoona's neck and pulled her closer as their lips joined once again and again and again.

Yoona then slowly try to maneuver her hands on Yuri's blouse, ing it down not breaking the heated kiss they are currently sharing. Yuri then let her blouse fell off her body as Yoona caged her body to against the wall . Yoona then lifted both of Yuri's legs and wrapped them around her waist carrying Yuri until they reached Yuri's room and genlt laid the older girl to her own bed. 

Yuri not used to being the receiving end decided to switich their position and pull Yoona as she climbed on top of her. When Yuri was about to her blouse, Yoona stopped her and looked away with fear. Yuri immediately realized as to why Yoona wanted to be on top. 

Yuri then genlty slide her hand to Yoona's face and slowly turned it to face her. Yuri kissed her forehead and smile assuringly.

"i won't ask and I will only believe in you Yoona. So don't be afraid. Together , let us erase the bad memories" Yuri softly said to her and Yoona then slowly nodded still scared of what Yuri will think of her but yet again , her love overpower her fear.

Yuri then instruct Yoona to close her eyes which the young girl obliged. Yoona felt Yuri's kiss on her forehead, on her cheek, on her lips, on her sides down to her neck as she let out a moan uttering Yuri's face.

Yuri then take this opportunity to slowly take off Yoona's shirt and noticed all the faint scars as wells several old scratches on Yoona's body. Noticing the sudden halt in movement of Yuri , Yoona open her eyes and saw the pain expression of her beloved.

Yoona let out a bitter smile, " This is reality now. No matter how much we try to keep it hidden , no matter how much we deny this fate, we both know that as soon as we are outside of this room , I belong to her"

"Will you be able to still accept me ? WIll you still be able to love me ?" Yoona asked looking straight to Yuri's eyes.

Yuri did not say anything but let out a remorseful expression as she looked away turning her back to Yoona unintentionally in which Yoona interpreted as an acceptance of hopeless reality. That is right, nothing can go against the Princess. She knew that but still too stubborn to believe it until she faced with this harsh truth. There is no future with her and Yuri. There are only pain and constant suffering just like what she had caused Yuri when they were young - the lost of that young and innocent love,  the betrayal of Yoona choosing the princess for her safety, the forgotten memories and now this, the endless cycle of pain she is about to cause again to her. She knew what she had to do and she now accepted her fate. Thus, Yoona backhugged Yuri and let her know that she understand, reassured her that the pain she is about to experience is only temporarily that it will fade away soon as she will find someone better, someone who will make her happy.

" I understand Yuri and it's alright. Everything is going to be ok" Yoona said as she smiled contently and even befor Yuri could say anything, she disappeared. 

Yuri did not chase nor went back to Yoona's room. How could she when those images of Yoona's scars all over her body were all she could ever think of? Yuri thought she was strong enough to let it all pass. She thought she can forget  it and have a happy life with Yoona but then, she was wrong.

If all those fadings scars and marks were a warning to her of what a princess can do then , she would rather give up early than fight anymore and just stay away so that Yoona will not endure further pain because of a hopeless love.

     "Because right now, I have her, your friends, your amily and the hwole world, I can easily get rid all of them and make you suffer by watching how manipulative I can be"

I am sorry Yoona.I am sorry for not being strong enough..for being a coward but this is for the best.
I may not have you in this lifetime but I will lmake sure that I will never let yu go in our next lives.

To be continued.