THIRTY-THREE

From what the members could see – the members in China, what they heard from the other half of their group – Kyungsoo was getting better. He seemed happier, more confident, and energetic.                                                                                              

And he was.

From the small meals he managed to keep in his stomach, to the loving fan mail, to the sweet kisses Jongin would sneak onto his lips at every corner he turned, he felt recovery coming closer and closer. His disorder battled it away, afraid that recovering would end up making him fatter, but he found balance in the middle of the seesaw of his emotions – and in the balance, he dug out happiness.

Kyungsoo was starting to grow more confident with Jongin, as well. He’d shiver less when Jongin held his waist, smile brighter when he squeezed his hands, and allow him to touch him further when night came around.

Despite being reluctant to discard his clothes and put himself in any vulnerable state, Jongin found his away around it, turning intimate bare skin into fingers slipping down waistbands and biting down into pillows. It wasn’t the same, but Kyungsoo enjoyed it either way, and was left feeling lightheaded and loved every time.

It didn’t last long.

Weeks later, the same girl screamed pig at their performances – not once, twice, but three times – and Kyungsoo was back to square one.

Not one meal was kept down.

He weakened significantly, breathing harder after each dance practice, stumbling more up stairs, needing more makeup to cover his sunken skin. Everybody noticed the drop in performance, and it drove the other members insane.

Giving up, Junmyeon kicked Sehun out of their bedroom and escorted him to Jongin, instructing him to ‘busy himself in the safest way possible’, before shutting the door and phoning Yifan.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he waited a few rings, before the droning stopped with a rustle.

“Hello?”

“Yifan,” Junmyeon sighed.

Yifan immediately detected the exasperation in his voice, and excused himself from the practice room, heading over to the bathroom and locking himself in a stall.

“Is something the matter?”

His voice echoed loudly against the bathroom tiles, and he gulped.

“Yeah,” Junmyeon said quietly, “it’s Kyungsoo again.”

Yifan shut his eyes and leaned against the wall of the cubicle, putting a hand to his forehead.

“You said he was getting better a few days ago,” Yifan said weakly.

Junmyeon shook his head. “I know. He was, honestly. But something happened a few days ago, he ran offstage crying, and it’s been going downhill ever since.”

“Why was he crying?”

Junmyeon tangled his fingers in the bed sheets, “I don’t know.”

Yifan groaned. “Great. Fantastic. What’s happened?”

“He collapsed today.”

Yifan kicked the toilet lid shut and slumped down on it, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe it.”

Junmyeon’s voice was wavering. “I feel like it’s my fault, Yifan. I can’t take care of my own group. I don’t know what’s gotten into Kyungsoo, but he’s getting worse every day, and I can’t do anything about it. I’m trying, so hard, Yifan, but he’s—”

“Is he eating?”

Junmyeon tilted his chin to the ceiling so his tears wouldn’t fall. “Yes. I’ve been making sure.”

Yifan raked his fingers through his hair, and tapped his feet against the toilet. “I want you to look over him further, okay? You’ve done well, don’t doubt that – but if this keeps happening, you have to make sure you’re watching over him. Don’t let him go to the bathroom after a meal. Keep him away from the toilet for as long as possible, okay?”

“Why?”

“He might be purging.”

Junmyeon bit his lips. The thought was too painful to be possible. “But—”

“Trust me, Junmyeon,” Yifan said quietly. “He can shower and use the toilet before the meal, and if he doesn’t comply, you either force him to, or go to the bathroom with him after eating. Okay?”

Junmyeon sighed. “Okay.”

Yifan put his chin in his palm, biting back his frustration, and stayed quiet, too upset to speak.

“Yifan?”

He hummed in response, fingers running up and down the back of the phone.

“Thank you.”

Junmyeon waited for a response expectantly, playing with the blankets, but the call was cut off as Yifan hung up. His shoulders slumped, and he dropped the phone, putting his head in his hands and starting to cry.

“The sunset is nice, isn’t it?”

A few hours prior to yet another live, Luhan and Minseok had escaped the stuffy rooms inside the venue and found themselves out the back, sitting on top of a set of stairs and watching night fall.

There weren’t many trees in the area, so the orange glow of the sun spread through the vast sky visibly, diffusing into pinks and reds in beautiful harmony. The breeze was cool and twittering birds were returning home, bringing the two members to a tranquil state of content.

Minseok looked over at the younger, who was gazing at the beautiful sky, smiling lightly. The orange sun casted a breathtaking shine over his golden hair, tinting his milky skin a delicate yellow and making his eyes sparkle.

Minseok sighed, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his cheek on his knees. The sunset was beautiful, but somehow, he preferred looking at Luhan instead.

Finally, Luhan noticed him, and turned away from the sky to smile at Minseok.

“Why are you staring at me?”

Minseok shrugged, smiling back at him, before shuffling closer and resting his head on Luhan’s shoulder.

“You never told me you like the sunset.”

Luhan chuckled. “You never asked.”

Minseok shut his eyes, feeling exhaustion washing over him, and Luhan’s fingers found their way into his, intertwining them tightly.

“Are you tired?” Luhan asked softly, looking back up at the disappearing sun. The orange was darkening quickly and turning into a light navy, and a chill was wrapping around the two as night collapsed into the sky.

Minseok nodded slowly, nuzzling closer as a cool breeze brushed against him. Luhan looped his arms around the elder’s shoulders and pulled him against his chest, rubbing his limbs in an attempt to warm him.

“We should go inside,” Luhan whispered, “it’s getting cold.”

“Not now,” Minseok whimpered, putting his forehead on Luhan’s neck. “Please, can we stay for a bit longer?”

He sighed. Luhan did want to stay, even just for a few minutes more. The scene was beautiful, and Minseok was so, so warm…

Luhan turned his head slowly, making sure not to push Minseok’s head from his shoulder, and the corners of his lips twitched upwards. He craned his neck forwards – he couldn’t see much, but the sight of Minseok’s long eyelashes and soft lips was enough to make his heart beat just a tiny bit faster.

Minseok sensed the movement, and lifted his head, locking eyes with Luhan, breath catching in his throat.

Arms still around the latter, Luhan admired him silently in the dark light, lifting his fingers to play with the hairs on his nape.

“We’ll have to go perform soon,” he whispered, not breaking eye contact. Minseok felt his heart flutter, Luhan’s warm breath on his cold cheeks, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him.

The strange urge was making his head feel hot, but the adrenaline pumping through his veins was enough to push him forward and place a shy peck on the corner of Luhan’s mouth.

He pulled away, blushing, and Luhan laughed.

“You’re crazy,” Luhan chuckled, brushing their noses together, before leaning forward and kissing him square on the lips.                                               

Time was draining away and the cold air was compelling them to return to prepare for the live, but the warmth they shared kept them outside for just a few minutes longer. They both felt significantly more calmed after sharing their affection – slightly confused, but happy nonetheless.

Neither of them had thought of the kiss as romantic gesture; rather, something more as a spur-of-the-moment urge to show their fondness for one another. It had just happened to be the right moment, and they wanted to share it.

Finally, as Minseok began shivering under his weak jacket, they helped each other to their feet and returned into the venue to prepare for their performance – both significantly more light-hearted and bright.

The other members were sceptical when they returned after an hour, holding hands, but didn’t ask.

✏ [ a/n ] uuuuuhuuuuuu short chapter guys sorry omg i kept you waiting for like 20 years and this is all you get a crappy and useless chapter LMAO okay disclaimer xiuhan aren't in love or anything i made sure to specify that in the chappie they're just sad friend who love each other very much!! <3 unless smth happens at the end?????? ohooho??? no spoilers???????? SPOILER BAEKHYUN DIES haha i'm kidding only in my dreams that'll happen actually i wrote a story where i almost had with my best friend and then i killed her and eradicated humanity and took over the wrold with kyungsoo and held baekhyun hostage and beat him up oh god it was so good you guys should read it LMAO IM KIDDING DON'T but in the meantime you can have a little gawk at my new taoris oneshot i'm gonna post on the 27th for my friend jessie's birthday!!!! <3 alright guys sorry for bringing piggy girl back into the story lmao FORGIVE ME PLS also has anyone seen the mamacita teaser vid it's so weird i'm??? AND I KNOW IM KINDA LATE BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT TAEKAI PRETTY BOY PLS TAEKAI STANS HOLLA AT ME BC I LITERALLY DROOL. TAEM NIPS AND JONGIN WHITE SHIRT AND TAEKAI ONSTAGE AND PUH PUH PUH PUH P-PRETTY BOY I'M NOT OKAY wow i need to stop turning my a/ns into rants actually i should have done that like THIRTY CHAPTERS AGO wth am i even doing JESUS THE STORY'S GONNA END SO SOON I'M SCREAMING OKAY I;LL GO NOW BYE BABES

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