Hurricane Diarrhea #50

 

Taeyeon was a happy girl. Tiffany had complimented her appearance earlier and now, they were strolling down the street hand-in-hand. What more could a girl ask for?

 

“Just a few drops of this magic and your toilet troubles will be flushed away! What more can you ask for?”

 

Taeyeon whirled around to look at the woman who was selling the magical product. What was it with her and toilet products lately?!

 

“What are you looking at, honey?”

 

“Huh. Nothing. That lady was yelling really loudly. That’s all.”

 

Tiffany pouted. “Do you think I’m too loud?”

 

“No. You’re not loud at all.”

 

“Don’t lie to make me feel better.”

 

“Okay. You’re a little loud.”

 

Tiffany heaved a sigh. “I can’t help it. I mean, I’m born with this impeccable set of speakers in my body and there’s no way to turn the volume down.”

 

“Why are you bothered about it? Your voice never bothered you before.”

 

“My friends shushed me today. And a person from the next table glared at me and asked me to shut up. Rudely.”

 

“Woah. Why so rude?”

 

“We were discussing stuff for our mid-terms and I was trying to teach my friend some stuff. I guess I got too excited.”

 

“Where were you?”

 

“In the library…”

 

Taeyeon chuckled. “Well, then. Naturally, people would be pissed off.”

 

“Yeah…but it still stings, you know. People are always telling me I’m too loud.”

 

Taeyeon put her arm around Tiffany and squeezed a bare shoulder. “Well, I like that you’re loud.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Mhm.” Taeyeon nodded in earnest. “You always make things sound exciting. And being loud also means I never have a problem hearing what you have to say.”

 

“Taeyeon, I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

 

“It’s a compliment.”

 

“Okay.” Tiffany smiled. “Thank you, honey. I feel better now.”

 

“Anytime, Fany.”

 

~

 

“Honey, you look great in this dress.”

 

“Do I?”

 

Tiffany nodded with affirmative eyes. “You’re so hot in this dress.”

 

“Am I?”

 

“If you don’t change out of it soon, I’m going to rip it off and devour you right here.”

 

Taeyeon blinked. “Er…I’ll change out of it right now.” She disappeared into the cubicle shut the door in a hurry. And Tiffany laughed her insides out.

 

~

 

“You should’ve bought that dress.”

 

“I don’t have enough money for it.”

 

“I can buy it for you.”

 

“I won’t wear it often enough to make it worth it.”

 

“Dresses aren’t about that.”

 

“They aren’t?”

 

Tiffany shook her head. “Dresses are about looking pretty when it counts.”

 

“But it always counts.”

 

“Sometimes it counts more.”

 

“Like today?”

 

Tiffany smiled. “Like today.”

 

~

 

“Aren’t these earrings pretty?”

 

Taeyeon nodded. “Very.”

 

“Should I buy them?”

 

Taeyeon nodded again. “You should.”

 

“Mmm, okay. What about you? Are you buying those?”

 

Taeyeon looked at the earrings she was holding. “Nah.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don’t wear them that often.”

 

“Didn’t we just have this conversation over a dress just moments ago.”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“How is it different?”

 

“It just is.”

 

“Oh my gawd.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re so…”

 

“So…?”

 

“You’re so Taeyeon.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Tiffany shook her head. “Never mind.”  She grabbed Taeyeon’s arm and tugged. “Let’s go pay for these.”

 

“Okay.”

 

~

 

“Remember this shop?”

 

Taeyeon blushed. “Of course.”

 

“That candy cane bra that you like so much.”

 

“How did you—”

 

Tiffany’s eyes laughed. “Oh, I know.”

 

“But how?”

 

“My sixth sense tells me everything.”

 

“Everything?”

 

“Uh huh. Including the fact that you really want to see me in the candy cane bra again.”

 

“I don—”

 

Tiffany quelled her with a single look.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t mind…”

 

“Hah. I knew it!”

 

“What? You didn’t know?”

 

Tiffany merely grinned and said nothing. She walked down the aisle and turned to another section. “What about these?”

 

Taeyeon blinked and tried not to imagine too much. It wouldn’t do to have all sorts of images of Tiffany in leopard print bra and . “Er…”

 

“You don’t like?”

 

“I do like it.”

 

“Should I buy it?” There was a surge of life in Tiffany’s eyes. “To celebrate?”

 

“Celebrate? Is it your birthday? Did I forget?” Taeyeon panicked.

 

“No, honey…we should celebrate our moving in together.”

 

“We should celebrate with Sunny.”

 

“Mmm, but I can’t wear this if we celebrate with Sunny.”

 

Taeyeon grinned. “We can celebrate twice.”

 

“Naughty girl.”

 

“Speaking of which…what’s gonna happen to your apartment?”

 

“I’ll return it to my aunt.”

 

“Your aunt?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Isn’t your father the one who paid for everything…”

 

“My father? What gave you that idea?”

 

Taeyeon opened to answer the question but thought the better of it and shook her head. “I dunno. Just an assumption.”

 

“Well, you assume wrong. I’m paying for it but my aunt gives me a very good price. You know, family and all.”

 

“Won’t it be more expensive to move in with us then?”

 

Tiffany cleared . “That would depend on how you look at it.”

 

“How I look at it?”

 

“Mhm. But we’ll talk about that later. I should pay for this leopard set so we can head to dinner.”

 

“Okay.”

 

~

 

Dinner was at a restaurant in town. Orange, warm lights lit the place up in a comfortable glow and the place was abuzz with mild chatter and clinking of glasses and cutlery. They were led to a table and it wasn’t long before Taeyeon needed the bathroom.

 

She excused herself and joined the ever-existent queue for the ladies. When it got to her turn, she hurried into the cubicle and sat on the toilet bowl. Then, it hit her. An exceedingly intense waft of pungent air punched her in the face and almost knocked her out.

 

Holy sh*t.

 

She pinched her nose and tried to breathe through but it felt as though she could taste it. It was better to breathe through her nose, she decided but it was a pain. She tried to hold her breath as she did her little business as quickly as possible. Never had she yanked up her as quickly and out of the cubicle she was after flushing water down the toilet bowl.

 

The next person in line advanced towards the cubicle she vacated and she turned around to warn the person but all she saw was a dirty look as the door closed in her face.

 

No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

 

It wasn’t me!

 

But the door was shut and the damage was done.

 

Sh*t.

 

~

 

Back at the table, things didn’t get any better when the person passed her by, moments later. The same dirty look seemed twice as venomous and she pouted at the injustice she had to suffer.

 

“What’s the matter, honey?”

 

“Somebody shat in the toilet before I entered and the person who went in after me thinks I’m the one who made that stench. She gave me a dirty look as she passed by too.”

 

“What? She did?”

 

Taeyeon nodded, her pout still present.

 

“Which lady is it?”

 

Taeyeon nodded towards the lady in a black blouse and skirt. “She’s the one.”

 

“Alright. Let’s go.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Tiffany had already gotten up and was tugging at her arm. “Let’s go over there and set things straight.”

 

“What? No.” Taeyeon resisted.

 

“I can’t let you suffer in silence. Come on.”

 

“It’s only gonna get worse.”

 

“It won’t. Trust me.”

 

“This isn’t a matter of trust.”

 

“Oh, come on. Don’t be a p*ssy until we get home.” Tiffany gave her arm a great big tug and yanked her right off her seat. She had no choice but to follow. Tiffany was too strong.

 

“Hi, may I just set the record straight?” she heard Tiffany saying as she bored holes in the ground with nothing but her eyes.

 

“Excuse me?” The lady’s voice sounded much raspier than she looked.

 

“This is my girlfriend, Taeyeon. She was unfortunate enough to get a toilet that stank. So she doesn’t need the additional misfortune of being mistaken for the one who did the evil.”

 

“I’m…I’m speechless. Why are you even explaining it.”

 

“Because she was affected by your dirty look.”

 

“Well, I didn’t know she wasn’t the one who bombed the toilet with ammonia tear gas.”

 

“That’s why I’m here to clear it up. She’s not the one. She’s just as much of a victim as you are. And even more so, since she got to use it first. Which means she had to bear the brunt of the stench.”

 

“Right. Okay. She didn’t bomb the toilet. What do you want? An apology? For giving her a dirty look?”

 

“No, it’s alright. I just wanted you to know so that Taeyeon wouldn’t get another dirty look from you. That’s all.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Have a nice dinner.”

 

Taeyeon felt the tug on her arm and followed Tiffany back to their table.

 

Holy sh*t. What just happened?!

 

“Fany…”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Tiffany smiled. “I love you, honey.”

 

“I love you more.” And indeed she did.

 

No sh*t.

 

~