Hurricane Diarrhea #49

Or not.

Taeyeon took a deep breath and ended up coughing. Scared less hadn’t scared the away. Well, the was gone, technically. But the foul residual stench was evidence that she’d done the unspeakable deed. No amount of Scared less and scrubbing could take it away. If there were a competition for stubborn stenches, hers would be undefeated. Sickeningly unbeatable.

How was she supposed to move in with Tiffany when her left such an incredible stench?

.

~

“Taeyeon, did you buy a new toilet brush?”

“Yeah, but I think it was a bad deal.”

Sunny came around and sit down on the couch beside her. “Why do you say that?”

Taeyeon sighed. “It’s a long story…”

“So tell me. I’ve got the time to listen.”

“Okay…”

Taeyeon told Sunny all about her ty woes and the solution she thought she’d found in the toilet brush and cleaner.

“Holy . You paid $20 for those things?”

Taeyeon pouted and nodded. “And they can’t solve my problem.”

“Mmm…I can understand your worries. My classmate broke up with her girlfriend because she couldn’t stand the stink.” The world closed in on Taeyeon right then and she squeaked in terror. “But Tiffany wouldn’t do the same. She loves you more than that. Relax, Taeyeon. You don’t have to worry about it,” Sunny continued.

Sunny’s consolation failed to allay her worries. She had to worry about it. She couldn’tleave it to chance. She was going to find the ultimate solution to her problem, if that was the last thing she did.

~

She went to work after class the next day and Noeul nudged her while they were packing packets of dog food in the cabinet. “Is there something wrong? You don’t look well.”

Taeyeon pouted. “My stinks,” she confessed and was perturbed when Noeul burst out laughing. “Why is it funny?”

Noeul shook her head. “It’s not funny. But you are. You’re so cute I can’t help but laugh.”

Her pout deepened. “You’re not helping.”

The giggle that followed didn’t help things but Noeul patted her back and smiled. “Stinky is only natural. Everyone has the same problem. You aren’t the only one.”

“But I’m moving in with Tiffany real soon and I don’t want to disgust her.”

Noeul’s eyes grew wide and she failed to say anything in response.

“I know it seems too soon but it won’t be just the two of us. Sunny will be moving in as well.”

“Won’t it be awkward for Sunny?”

“She said she’s alright with it.”

“Sunny’s an amazing friend.”

Taeyeon nodded and smiled. “She’s the best.”

“Hi Taeyeon, hi Noeul,” said a voice from behind them and Taeyeon groaned the moment she heard it. She’d come to recognize the voice but she wished she didn’t have to hear it this often.

“Hi Aly.” Noeul was already on her feet, smiling at the trouble maker.

“Hi Aly.” Taeyeon’s greeting was a lot less enthusiastic than Noeul’s but Aly merely grinned.

“So. How about a drink?”

“What would you like to drink?” asked Noeul. “This one’s on the house.”

“Taeyeon, your friend is such an awesome girl.”

“Noeul is the best.” Taeyeon shot Aly a dark look. “And I’ll protect her from evil.”

“You’re such a cute little midget.”

“I know right. I was just telling Taeyeon that she’s cute.”

“Both of you are cute.”

Noeul blushed. “You’re too nice. Come with me, I’ll make you a drink.”

“Sounds great.”

Aly’s smile was warm but Taeyeon knew better. Yet, there was nothing she could do without looking suspicious. So, she kept her eyes on Aly who was following Noeul to the counter. Her eyes followed Tiffany’s cousin all the way and widened when Aly leaned on the counter, arms folded, cleavage spilling all over. Was Aly trying to seduce Noeul with her spillage?! Hmph. Aly was mistaken if she thought that would work on Noeul.

“Aly.”

“Yeah?” Aly answered. Noeul blushed yet again and Taeyeon was ready to stomp over and pull Aly away but it wasn’t necessary after all.

“I think a button came undone…” Noeul pointed and said, her eyes shy.

Aly looked at her shirt and laughed. “Honey, it didn’t come undone.”

“Oh…sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. The free drink more than makes up for it.”

“Would you like a fruity slushie? It’s our most popular drink.”

“Sure.”

Taeyeon squatted back down and put the last packet of dog food in the cabinet as she giggled. Yeah, Aly’s style wasn’t working on Noeul at all. Hehehe.

~

Taeyeon made herself busy and tried to avoid Aly but it wasn’t to be.

“Oh Taeyeon, you do know that my cousin loves pink to death, right. Your future apartment’s gonna be pink everywhere,” said Aly, as she rubbed the fur of a cute little poodle.

What?! Pink?! Nooooooooo…

“L-O-L. You don’t like pink much, do you.”

“Taeyeon doesn’t like pink,” Noeul answered before Taeyeon could say anything and she wanted nothing more than to melt into a puddle and flow away.

“Aww, poor Taeyeon. Sacrificing in the name of love…”

“Fany’s apartment isn’t pink all over,” Taeyeon refuted, more to assure herself than anybody else.

“That’s because her father paid for everything. She didn’t have a say. Why else do you think she’s so eager to move out of her fantastic apartment that every student would die to have.”

Taeyeon blinked. Aly was poison to her ears. Aly was one of those people who constantly fed information that was nothing but bad news.

“Don’t say that,” Noeul interjected, “You’re only making Taeyeon feel worse.”

Aly shrugged. “I’m just saying things as they are. Taeyeon needs to be forewarned. She needs to know what she’s getting into.”

“It’s gonna be Sunny, Fany and I. Three of us. We’ll have to agree on the colours for the common areas. It doesn’t matter if it’s just her room,” reasoned Taeyeon.

“Sure. Of course. You have nothing to worry about,” said Aly, wearing a wide grin that looked more sinister than a snarl.

It was horrible. Now, not only did she have to worry about the stink, she had to worry about the colour too.

.

~

No one was happier than Taeyeon when Aly finally left. She waved enthusiastically as the deliverer of bad news disappeared through the doors of Bau House and almost cheered out loud when the door closed.

Yay! Now, I don’t have to worry about learning more scary info from Aly.

And with that thought, she found her strength renewed. She’d solve her problems. She would. There had to be a solution, somewhere out there.

~

She got on her computer the moment she got home and searched “How to kill stinky stench”. She got a whole list of results and didn’t know which to go for first. Until she saw the last result on the first page. Its title looked promising—“How to Remove the Poop Smell From the Bathroom”—so she clicked.

1. The toilet lid is your friend.

The first step was to lower the toilet bowl lid before flushing. No problem. She could try that. She’d always flushed before lowering the lid and it hadn’t worked. Hopefully this would.

2. Flush and light a match.

This method wasn’t so good. The website stated that lighting a match wouldn’t eliminate the poop smell, instead, I created sulfur dioxide which would confuse the olfactory senses which equated to the same result. However, lighting a match was risky. What if she set something on fire? She never knew what could go wrong with her kind of luck.

3. Turn on the fan.

It sounded simple enough, but there was just one major problem. Their toilet had no fan. Besides, it would take too long for a fan or a vent system to circulate the air.

4. Leave the door open.

This was definitely not an option. The whole point of her search was to prevent any of the ‘aroma’ from leaving the bathroom. No. This was a big, fat no. She scrolled further down the page.

5. Deodorizing Toilet Drops.

Now this sounded like a great solution. All she had to do was to put some deodorizing toilet drops before using the toilet bowl and the smell would be eliminated! Was this true? If it was, she was saved. But what if she was on one of her urgent sprees and couldn’t make it in time to put the drops? What would she do then?

Last but not least, 6 – Worst-case scenario. It read like this:

Note: if you’ve just blown up the bathroom so bad that the walls are starting to sag, don’t fret. There is hope. Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you’ve done a number on the bathroom that you yourself can barely stand, it’s time to steam clean that er.Take a hot shower with the fan running. Your date may think you’re a bit nuts, but you can just tell her that you just came from the gym and needed to freshen up.

She’ll still probably think you’re a bit nuts.

Taeyeon leaned back on her chair and tapped her chin as she processed the new information she’d learnt. There were several options and she wanted to try them all. But it’d take her a few days to try them out since she only pooped once a day.

.

~

Over the next few days, she tried methods 1, 2 and 6.

Method 1 didn’t work very well. She could still smell the stench and it lasted for quite some time.

Method 2 worked somewhat alright but matches and flames just didn’t seem like a good idea. It was only a matter of time before she burnt something while trying to confuse Tiffany’s olfactory senses. Besides, the matches left another type of smell that, while it wasn’t pleasant, meant she’d end up having to explain why she was burning matches in the bathroom.

Method 6 worked as well but it really wasn’t viable to take a hot shower after pooping. What if she’d already taken a shower earlier? What if she had to poop in the middle of the night?

So, she was left with Method 4 which she had yet to try, mainly because it involved purchasing the deodorizing drops, which meant spending more money. She had no choice, however. The other methods weren’t viable. She had to give Method 4 a try. It was her last hope.

But first, her date with Tiffany. She’d been looking forward to it all week. Dinner and a movie. Maybe a continuation of the date at Tiffany’s place, if all went well. Taeyeon grinned. There was nothing like a Tiffany to perk her up.

~

An hour later, she was ready. Freshly showered and made up, she had on one of her favourite dresses, a black and white floral piece that ended mid-thigh. It brought out her fair skin nicely and a sweet cream-coloured cardigan completed the look. She was in the middle of picking a pair of shoes when the bell rang.

Tiffany!

Taeyeon ran to the door and opened it with a bright smile. “Fany!”

Tiffany smiled, her eyes disappearing into pretty curves and gave her a hug. “Somebody’s in a good mood today.”

“I’m just glad to see you. I miss you.”

Tiffany gave her a kiss and smiled. “I miss you too.”

“Gimme a minute, I just need to pick my shoes and we can go.”

A warm hand smoothed down her back and patted her . “The green and yellow pair is nice.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.” Taeyeon bent to pick up the shoes Tiffany picked out and put them on.

“Is it me or are you prettier today.”

Taeyeon blushed. “I put in extra effort today.”

“Mmm…I can see where it went.” Tiffany kissed her again and her heart beat a little faster. “Let’s go pretty girlfriend.”

Taeyeon grinned as she slung on her little black bag. Her heart sang a happy song of rainbows and butterflies as she left the apartment with Tiffany. It was going to be a great date. She just knew it.

No .

~