Hurricane Diarrhea #48

 

This was her chance. She had to say something. Right? But Aly spoke first.

 

“Taeyeon, will you accept my apology?”

 

“Apology?” Taeyeon thought she was hearing things for a moment. “What are you apologizing for?”

 

Aly rolled her eyes. “For taking your twenty bucks and checking out your , of course.”

 

“Oh, that.” Taeyeon froze. “Wait, what do you mean by checking out my ?”

 

Aly merely stared right at her, wearing a crooked smile, her silent but more than sufficient answer.

 

Taeyeon gasped. “You...undid my jeans on purpose. You wanted to look at my .”

 

“Should the fact come as such a surprise to you? Tiffany and I are cousins, you know. We grew up together. Played together.” Aly smirked. “We're a lot more similar than you think. But opps—” she palmed in an exaggerated gesture, “I guess she still hasn't told you about her secret huh.”

 

“You like...” sh*t. Taeyeon trailed off as the cruel truth rained down on her, chilling her to the bone. “You like too...”

 

Aly's brows cocked. “So she did tell you. I didn't believe it when she told me. But wow. She came clean about her obsession with you.”

 

“Yes, Tiffany told me about it.” Taeyeon paused. “Is this the secret that you were taunting me with? Tiffany is over it now. She's not as obsessed as before.”

 

“Is that so.” Aly leaned in close and she arched her back as she leaned away. “But you're wrong about her obsession. She's just as obsessed as before. Once a ert, always a ert. She's only controlling it for you, Taeyeon. For you.”

 

For me? She's been holding it in all this time for me?

 

“Tiffany's not a ert.”

 

“Oh, she is. So are you. So am I. We're all erts, Taeyeon. It's all part of nature.” Aly finally pulled away and she was able to straighten her back again. “Anyway, I'm sorry. Not sorry. But I'll give you the money back. Here.”

 

Taeyeon took the money from Aly. “Why are you returning me the money?”

 

“Do you think I'm doing this willingly?” Aly shook her head. “It's Tiff, man. Tiff's really scary when she gets angry. You should've seen her. I wouldn't have peeked at your if I'd known. But how was I to know that you're her girlfriend? It's just my sh*tty luck.”

 

Taeyeon wanted to laugh. She wasn't sure who's luck was tier.

 

“Anyway, if she asks you, you've gotta tell her that you've got your money back and I've apologized. I'm dead serious about this. Don't mess around. If she tells my parents about this, I'm totally screwed. It's like sh*t that's flushed. It'll never come back. Do you understand?”

 

Taeyeon nodded. “I'll tell her.”

 

Aly grinned and patted her shoulder. “Thanks, Taeyeon. You're a good girl and a very pretty one too.” She winked and leaned close, flashing more cleavage in the process. “I like you. You're such fun to play with.” Then, she turned around and was about to get into her car when Taeyeon remembered Noeul.

 

“Aly, wait. What are you going to do with Noeul's number?”

 

Aly's brows cocked as her lips curled up. “Why, call and text her sweet mushy things of course.”

 

“But you have a girlfriend. That nurse.”

 

Aly began to laugh. “Firstly, she's not a nurse. Secondly, why would having a girlfriend stop me from anything.”

 

“But..you...”

 

“What am I?” Aly laughed some more. “Taeyeon, Taeyeon, you have so much to learn.”

 

A surge of fierce protectiveness surged through Taeyeon and she frowned. “Don't mess with her.”

 

Aly stopped laughing and looked at her. “Why are you so protective of her.”

 

“Noeul is a good friend. She's not your type. She's not your wild party girl.”

 

“I know. I know exactly which type she is. But maybe a tame girl can be fun too, sometimes.”

 

“No. You will not take advantage of her.”

 

“We're free to make the friends we want. You can't stop me, Taeyeon. Neither should you stop her.” Aly glanced at her watch and gasped. “I'm late. Gotta go. Bye.”

 

“No. You're not saying bye...” Taeyeon stood between Aly and the door, “...not until you promise not to do anything to Noeul.”

 

Aly's eyes swirled into an intense dark gleam, not unlike Tiffany's right before la pounce and she feared for her life in that moment. But what Aly said next stunned her and she forgot about the fragility of life entirely.

 

“You shouldn't be worrying about Noeul when you should be worrying about yourself. I heard she's gonna move in with you and your friend. Well, you'd better find a way to keep your stinking sh*t away from her 'cos there's nothing she hates more than the stench of that.”

 

“But...b-but...she...”

 

“This is where Tiff differs from me. I won't hesitate to tell you how I feel or what I'm thinking but Tiff isn't like that. She's always trying to be nice. So she'll tell you it's okay even if it isn't.”

 

“But she said she's used to it because of her job.”

 

Aly laughed. “It's the opposite of that. She hates it 'cos it reminds her of her job. Do you seriously believe anyone can ever get used to toilet stench? No way in heck is that ever happening.”

 

Taeyeon couldn't believe it. All the joy and rainbow bubbles of happiness brought on by thoughts of them moving in together were popped right there and then. Was she too naive to believe that the power of love could overcome the brutal reality of post-dump toilet stench? Or was Aly messing with her mind?

 

But Aly's words had made a lot of sense. No matter how many times she smelt her own sh*t, it still smelt just as bad the next time and at times, almost intolerable. And to think Tiffany had to bear with the stench when she took on jobs to help her father. Surely she wouldn't want anymore stenches at home.

 

Was that why her bathroom was so clean all the time. Was that the real reason why Tiffany had gotten so mad with her when she flushed her down the toilet bowl and clogged it? Oh gosh. She'd even released a horrendous loud of foul waste before that so the remnants of the stink would've played a part in making her angry too.

 

Holy sh*t. That must be it.

 

“Aly—” Taeyeon began to ask but stopped short when she realized that Aly was gone. She hadn't even noticed, as she sank into her own thoughts. And now that Aly had left, she couldn't make her promise to stay away from Noeul either.

 

Sh*t.

 

~

 

Taeyeon made her way back to Bau House with a heavy heart and even heavier feet. Noeul was at the counter, wiping it clean and she welcomed her back with a warm smile.

 

“Your friend seems like a lot of fun.”

 

Fun isn't the right word, Noeul. Taeyeon tried to smile. “I suppose she is...”

 

“Do you know her well?”

 

“She's Tiffany's cousin...” Who pretended to be a doctor before actually becoming one and has a girlfriend. “...but I don't know her that well.”

 

“Oh...so she's the one whom you were working with at the vet clinic.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Mmm...that's cool.”

 

“Er...Noeul...”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Her type of fun is a little on the wild side...”

 

Noeul raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

 

“Just be careful, okay?”

 

Noeul grinned and gave her a hug. “You're always so sweet and caring. Don't worry. I'll be careful. Whatever it is.”

 

~

 

“Bye, Noeul,” said Taeyeon before leaving for home. She stepped out into the cool evening and walked down the street, thinking about the conversation she had with Aly and the things about Tiffany she’d learnt. and sh*t. and smelly sh*t. Well, weren’t much of an issue. She was alright with Tiffany’s inexplicable love for . She could handle that. The problem was sh*t. Smelly sh*t. Her smelly sh*t.

 

“Eww, get away from me. You stink!”

 

What? Stink?

 

The rude interruption grabbed her attention and she froze. Was the comment directed at her? Her head spun to the side, towards the voice. Phew, it wasn’t her. It was a couple, squabbling behind her. Stink. Heh. With a shake of her head, she resumed walking down the street. Two streets further, she saw a familiar figure exiting a shop. With the soft silky and dangerously straight hair flying in the breeze, there was no doubt it was Jessica, carrying a rather large shopping bag. She'd opened , ready to call Jessica when a middle-aged woman came out of a shop with a toilet brush in her hand.

 

“Miss, would you like to buy a toilet brush? I’ll give you a 50% discount, only for today.”

 

Taeyeon blinked as the woman looked at her with eager eyes, all the while brandishing the toilet brush in her face. “Er…no thank you.”

 

“But this is a really good toilet brush. Feel it. Touch the bristles.”

 

The woman grabbed her hand and pressed it against the brush. The bristles were hard and prickly. “Oww…”

 

“See? The bristles are the toughest in town. They’re guaranteed to clean your toilet bowl. No problem. No matter how tough your sh*t is.”

 

“I…my sh*t isn’t that tough…”

 

“Oh trust me. They will be tough one day. And when that happens, you’ll be glad to have this toilet brush. And today’s special offer includes a free cleaner.” The woman pulled a long, slim bottle out from nowhere and held it up in her face. Taeyeon’s eyes bulged at the name on the bottle. Scared less. What?!

 

“Mhm! See the name? It’s called Scared less for a reason. It scares the sh*t outta sh*t and they get the hell outta there. No more stink. No more stench. Imagine how wonderful your bathroom will smell from now on.”

 

No more stink? No more stench? Oh boy, that sounded good. Especially if Tiffany hated a stinking bathroom. She could use it after taking her dump! What a grand solution to her problem! Awesome.

 

No sh*t.

 

“How much does it cost?”

 

“The toilet brush or the cleaner?”

 

“Doesn’t the cleaner come with the brush?”

 

“Yes, but only if you buy the toilet brush.”

 

“Well, how much is the brush?”

 

“Twenty dollars.”

 

“Twenty dollars?!”

 

“Miss, twenty dollars is a small price to pay for a no-stink, no-stench toilet bowl. There are things that are worth spending good money on and this is one of them.”

 

Taeyeon pouted. The twenty dollars that Aly just returned to her was going to disappear again. But the woman was right. Twenty dollars was a small price to pay if she could give Tiffany a break from toilet stench. She knew how toxic her dump could be on some mornings. There was no way she was going to let Tiffany suffer through it.

 

“Alright. Twenty dollars. The brush and the cleaner please.”

 

“You won’t regret it, Miss. You have my word.”

 

And you have my money.

 

Taeyeon took the toilet brush and cleaner and felt decidedly better about her 'uation'. Now she was ready to move in with Tiffany.

 

No sh*t.

 

~