Chapter LVIII:

A Dream

Normally, when one dreamt, they often have no knowledge that they were dreaming. But for Sandara Park, who was already a frequent visitor to the dreamland and a constant recipient to the terrors of an abysmal nightmare, it began to seem easier realizing when she was awake and when she wasn't.

Like now.

Dara saw herself standing alone amidst a familiar yet strange place. All around her, rising from manicured grass,  were row upon row of white marble tombstones with their faded etchings, a roll-call for the people who cannot answer. They were lined up perfectly with those in front and behind, a city block for the dead. Some were crumbled with the weathering of centuries, some were smooth marble with new black writing and laid with floral tributes. Most though, were overgrown and unkempt, for now even their mourners had joined them under the clay soil. She was in a graveyard, Dara realized with a shudder. She never dared dreamt about this place before. Too ashamed and remorseful that she thought, with the terrible thing she had done to him, Dara didn't deserve touching what was left of Jaewon, nor did she deserve setting afoot on his final resting place.

And yet, there she was.

A grimace contorted her face. Not a second after, she heard a slight shuffle on the grass behind her, heard the muffled thuds of footsteps on the soft ground. Dara’s heart pounded at that, knowing without a glance that it was Kim Jaewon. This was a dream after all. And her beloved had always been a part of it.

“Is this when we’ll finally have our closure? I was expecting somewhere grand. You disappoint me.” Dara raised her brows and turned to look at him, a hint of smile curving her lips.  

And she was right. The man who stood behind her, unblemished, unbruised and without any trace of blood, was undeniably the same man who had taken her breath away years before by merely flashing a smile. And he did it to her now as Jaewon heaved a soft chuckle, the radiance of it warming Dara’s heart like a caress of sunlight.

“Even when you’re dreaming you still carry that infamous wit of yours,” he said, crossing his arms, his smile melting to a knowing smirk.

“I guess it’s one of the perks when someone simply dreams rather than being haunted by terrible nightmares.” she said. “At least here, I can respond somehow rather than plunging into paranoia and losing my mind.” Dara paused. A shadow dimmed her eyes, and she dropped her gaze away. “When you died, I stopped dreaming. Day after day, the echoes of losing you resonates in my bones. And every night since then, sleeping was more of a frightening thought than a calming one, because it always ends into horrible nightmares, and I kept losing you again and again.”

Maybe this dream too would end into a terrible nightmare, as well.

Dara bit on her lip, burned with a stifled sob, her vision blurring with traitorous tears. Despite this being a dream, Dara could feel the sting in her chest, there was a terrible ache in there, and somehow she couldn’t stop her tears from falling. Soon she felt his touch as Jaewon’s hand glided down her cheek; it was a feather-like caress, almost as phantom as he was in reality. The man then held her chin and lifted it until she was peering up at him with eyes welling up with tears.

“Always isn’t forever, Dara.” Jaewon said and wore a sad smile. “One day these nightmares will end, and you’ll finally be able to sleep peacefully again. Trust me.”

“But how? How is it possible to move on?”

“There’s a way to move on, Dara; it’s to stop looking back and focus on what’s in front of you.”

Dara shook her head. “That’s not as easy as it sounds.”

“It can be easy, love. You are the only one who can make it easier,” said Jaewon. “Listen. Your heart has been screaming, trying to reach out and be heard, but because of the grief, guilt and fear enshrouded around it, you couldn’t hear what it wants to tell you. Free it, and listen to what it wants to tell you, Dar