Chapter XXXVII:

Of Cucumbers and Deep Voices

Lee Donghae stayed in their practice room for the past hour. While the other members left to have something for lunch, the idol decided to stay behind, and busied his self with a magazine.  Sprawling comfortably on the floor with his back reclined against the mirrored wall, Donghae’s eyes were both glued on the worn out publication, his face taking on a frown of concentration—too immersed on the printed words that the man failed to feel the presence of a person lurking behind him.

“What’s that?”

With a sharp gasp, Donghae flinched around in surprise, instinctively hugging the small magazine in his arms and glared at the grinning man in front of him.

“What the hell, Eunhyuk!” he grunted. “Don’t just pop out and look into people’s stuff!”

With a little snort, Eunhyuk leaned back and crossed his arms. “You’re exaggerating, Fish.” He scoffed. “I just thought you were looking at something nasty so I took a peek.”

“I do not gawk and drool over that kinds of nasty things—not so openly, at least—unlike you, pabo.” Donghae grumbled, straightening and walked in a corner to resume his reading.

“Then what is that, huh?” His best friend followed behind, pointing at the magazine in his hand.

“Nothing,” Donghae said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m just doing some…research.”

“‘Research’ huh?” Eunhyuk dawdled, winging a brow skeptically and watched in silence as his best friend continued flipping the pages of the said research paraphernalia.

“Yes. So, don’t disturb me.” The latter said, waving a dismissing hand as he buried his nose back at the unread page, and expected that Eunhyuk would continue to pester him, to annoy him until he surrendered and share the thing he was reading.

But it came as a surprise when his best friend, infamously known as the annoying persistent monkey, ignored the matter, giving only a simple, nonchalant nod as a response. Then he turned to walk away from Donghae and proceeded in the middle of the room to practice their dance routine by his self. 

Peeking from the corners of the magazine, Donghae watched his best friend with a confused expression; his eye brows raised high it could almost touch the ceiling.

“What…was…that?” he asked into the space with his head craned to one side.

A few seconds passed and the idol shrugged his shoulders. Shaking his confusion aside, Donghae readjusted his focus back on the article at hand and continued the thorough reading. But not a minute after, a voice was suddenly heard from his back.

“‘Secret Things That Turn Women On’?”

“Damn it, Lee Hyuk Jae!” Donghae hissed once again, yanked the book back to him and stood with a jolt, almost jumping from his spot.

“So you’re researching about women?” Eunhyuk said, punctuating each word with a scandalized tone as he looked up at his best friend, “But, why?”

Donghae rolled his eyes. “Of course, you’re interested,” he said, sighing as he sunk back on the floor. “Why did I even think you weren’t?”

“Oh, whatever, man.” Eunhyuk wiggled closer, casting him a suspicious stare. “You already have a girlfriend but why are you reading such article only those lonesome single guys would read, huh?”

Clutching the magazine tightly until his knuckles turned white, Donghae fidgeted anxiously. He knew then there was no escaping once the switch of Eunhyuk’s curiosity has been flicked on. He had to give him a convincing answer or the day would be likely spent with his best friend clinging on him until he spilled the beans.

“Just to keep the fire burning, that’s all,” he mumbled, meeting Eunhyuk’s eyes as he wore his best nonchalant expression.

And it seemed convincing enough because Eunhyuk slowly nodded his head in apprehension. “I never knew you were this serious with Ms. Lawyer.”

“Of course, I am.” Donghae responded, puffing his chest out.

But honestly, ‘Serious’ wasn’t the exact word to describe his intention. Rather he was formidably determined to the point of desperation—desperate enough to seek wooing advices from such rubbish love magazine that—as per Eunhyuk’s words—only those lonesome, single guys would read.

Well, he couldn’t argue with that.

He was, truthfully, single but not exactly lonesome, because Donghae had a girl to pursue. And when he saw that magazine cluttered on the floor of hospital’s the parking lot—hanging wide open and revealed the certain article about how to win a girl’s heart—Donghae knew then it was his blessing disguised in a rectangular bound of glossy papers. And that corny article might just be the secret weapon he needed for his battle plan.

“Then let me help you, my brother!” Eunhyuk offered; his guileless and enthusiastic voice shoving Donghae out of his trance.

Recalling the shameful mishaps during their visit in the hospital, Donghae immediately shook his head in protest. “No!” he said. “The last time I’ve let you meet her it turned out as a huge embarrassment on my part. I will not allow that to happen again.”

“Come on, man. You don’t have to take it personally. We were just giving you a little punishment.”

“For what?”

“For hiding your relationship from us.”

Donghae kept quiet, seemingly reconsidering the offer. Noticing that he was close towards persuading his best friend, Eunhyuk then went on. “I am just as curious as you are, Hae. I also want to see if these advices truly work and by helping you I can have my answers. Who knows, maybe I can use that with Hyoyeon. Chick’s getting edgy this past few days.”

“Fine,” Donghae sighed, spreading the magazine wide open to let his friend take a look on the bulleted phrases. “I’ve done the first few advices, but I am not sure if it was effective.”

“You mean this, ‘Be cocky but never lose the wit.’?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “And I’ve kissed her more than five times the last time we met—just as how the second advice stated.”

“So what’s next?”

Donghae pointed on a certain paragraph. Eunhyuk’s eyes followed his hand.

“Cucumbers can do pleasurable wonders.” The idol read out loud, his eyes and mouth widening as he looked at the small picture of two green cucumbers. The vegetable was suggestively long and thick it almost looked like his—

Smack! 

“Don’t go acting like a disgusting ert, pabo! Continue reading it!”

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