Chapter XLVI:

And so the Battle Continues

17:48 KST

Round 2

5 minutes after, and Donghae finally realized the stupidity he had just marinated himself in to; the man knew nothing about cooking main dishes, or anything at all! He didn’t have a tad bit of culinary skills. Damn, all he knew was how to cook instant noodles, and that didn’t even count as cooking!

What now?

Noticing the troubled look on his face, Jaejoong then said, “Just go back there and let me do this. You clearly have no idea how to cook, dude.”

Turning his head to face the other guy, Donghae saw Jaejoong looking at him with a dead pan expression.

 “Why are you trying so hard to impress your girlfriend?” the latter went on.

 “Are you perhaps intimidated by my presence?”

Donghae pursed his lips, his eyes hardening.

Something stirred inside of him, fumed inside of him…or in a deeper, and more sensible, context, Donghae felt his alpha male beast warring against the chains, demanding to be freed, yet he kept calm, suppressed the frown that threatened to mar the features of his face.

And in response, the man laughed his annoyance out loud instead—a little too loud than intended though—while slapping his knees.

“What are you talking about?” he laughed on, picking up a random spoon from the counter in front of him and toyed with it.  “That’s a funny joke man. Why would I even be intimated by you?”

Jaejoong shrugged, unfrazed by Donghae’s remark. “Hmm, nothing…just, maybe I can take Dara away from you and all.”

And Donghae wasn’t laughing anymore; the innocent spoon ended up as bended silverware in his hand.

Talk about being vocal, he hissed mentally.

Well, at least Jaejoong didn’t bother hiding his ulterior motives.

 “Nah, I trust her.” Donghae replied, feigning the nonchalance in his tone—though within the furthest recesses of his mind, he actually dreaded that the possibility of Jaejoong taking Dara away from him was achingly high.

The other guy scoffed. “Hah, you never changed; still the nice guy, never the .” Jaejoong said without any sort of emotion in his voice. “Be careful, though. Dara might get bored with you one of these days.”

Donghae in a breath, startled at how the other man seemed to underestimate his potentials. Jaejoong made it look like the man didn’t had an exciting feature in his character, shoved the fact in his face that he was dull and bland and nothing sort of special as a man.

And the already bended spoon deformed even more in his fisted palm.

Then again, despite the rage burning inside of him, Donghae kept calm, swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat and schooled his face to neutrality.

“I’m sure she won’t,” he said through gritted teeth and beamed a rather forced and bitter smile as he threw the poor crooked spoon away, wishing at the back of his mind that it was Jaejoong.

But then it came as a surprise when the other fellow simply guffawed in response, breaking into a fit of loud yet mirthless laughter.

“Oh, come on, dude. I was just joking!” he said after sobering and patted the shoulders of an unamused Lee Donghae.

“Let’s just start cooking, and feed the others waiting outside before they start breaking this place down.” Jaejoong chuckled, turning away and did his own maneuverings around the wide kitchen.

Watching the latter walk in a confident stride, Donghae grumbled a string of expletives in is mind while stabbing Jaejoong’s back with an imaginary knife—and hid his hand right away when the latter spun to face him once again.

 “Whose dish do you think will taste better?” Jaejoong mused on with a pompous smile on his face. “Not to brag, though, but I’ve been told that my cooking skills can make one weep in utter bliss, so if you need any help, just ask, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” Shoving his murderous intentions aside, Donghae responded coyly, almost sounding sarcastic while restraining himself from blatantly rolling his eyes.

When Jaejoong finally started immersing himself with the preparations of his dish, Donghae, on the other hand, merely panned a look back at the utensils laid in front of him, looking at the lifeless objects dumbly as if encountering such things for the very first time in his life.

Looking at the set of ingredients, other spices and tools and stuff around him, Donghae felt like a student, taking his examinations, and the only thing he knew was his name and the date.

He was in a word; doomed.

Well, .

 “Ha..haha…hahaha,” Donghae laughed nervously. “Wow, look at all these delectable ingredients. Just imagine all the dishes I can prepare,” he said, faking the enthusiasm in his voice.  “Oh, wow, I’m so excited I feel like peeing in my pants.”

Jaejoong raised an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me first while I slip into the toilet for a while,” he added while holding his crotch, staggering his way towards the back door of the kitchen.

“…Ah, where is it…Outside maybe?”

Then in a blink of an eye, Donghae was gone. 

Meanwhile, outside the kitchen, the others waited. Kangin, Shindong and Eunhyuk were now sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth. Kyuhyun, Siwon and Ryeowook were simply in a daze, their faces unreadable as they stared ahead. While Dara, Bom and Leeteuk, the seemingly sane left, conversed with each other.

They all waited quietly—which was a miracle—when suddenly, Ryeowook felt a tug on his shirt shortly before he felt being pulled away by an unknown force.

Twenty-five minutes of torture then passed by and the two self-proclaimed master chefs came out of the kitchen.

All pairs of eyes sparkled when they saw Jaejoong and Donghae as though the two came down from heaven and trudged their way towards the table with an army of angels escorting them. They swore they could practically hear trumpets and harps being played in the background. Then the small group of starving human beings cheered loudly as the two idols approached their spot with mouth-watering dishes in their hands.

“Here you go,” Jaejoong wore a proud smile on his face while settling his chicken a la king on the table. “And I call this, Chicken a la Kim.”

“Ooh, lala.” Shindong clapped his hands, his nostrils widening as he savored on the aroma wafting around them.

“Finally, salvation!” Siwon exclaimed, with his arms stretched out as if thanking all the holy saints around the world.

With their faces alight, the others stared at the food, beholding the sight gratefully like savages who never had a glimpse of a chicken before.

“Guys, try mine also!” Donghae chirped excitedly, looking no less proud himself as he pulled the cover from the bowl in front of him, revealing his culinary masterpiece.

The anticipation was evident on the on-lookers’ eyes, yet the moment the tray was unconcealed their smiles became like water—it dripped off from their faces almost instantaneously.

Ramyeon.

And the heads turned away as soon as the cover was lifted.

 “OH MY GOD!” Eunhyuk suddenly gasped the moment he brought the chicken in his mouth; eyes widening and sparkling as tough he was under a spell.

“This tastes like falling in love!” Kyuhyun gushed, looking like he was about to cry. “Jaejoong hyung, please marry me!”

“Yah! How dare you ignore my Special Ramyeon?!” the idol bellowed, but he was ignored because his supposedly brothers continued stuffing their faces with the other dish. They slurped on the food, oblivious to the world and to the murderous omen that was Lee Donghae.

“Ryeowook, even you?” He shot a glare at the guy who was looking no less ravenous than the others, making all sorts of snorting, gurgling and other gluttonous sounds. 

 “But hyung, my stomach screams ‘CHICKEN’ right now.” Ryewook looked up at him. “And besides, I cannot risk my life eating your ‘dark ramyeon of death’ right now. I don’t even know if that’s edible or safe to eat.”

Wearing an offended expression, Donghae curled his lips in annoyance and leaned in to whisper, “What? But I followed your damn instructions!”

Ryeowook shook his head. “Are you even sure you put salt in it instead of sugar? Did you stir it well? Did you boil the noodles properly? And why in the world is your Ramyeon brown colored? That only means one thing, and that’s DEATH.”

He held out a hand to protest, but Donghae bit his lips immediately when he realized that he indeed forgot what particular substance was thrown in his Ramyeon.

But it was salt; I’m sure of it…