She never really said yes, but she took the ring and smiles.

It’s been a whole two weeks but she still doesn’t give any speech about my proposal.

Maybe she needs time to think since this is so sudden.

I can’t lie to say that I don’t feel insecure.

Sunny told me to be patience and keep my faith, so I did. Whether she accepted my proposal or not, my love for her will never changed.

That’s how much I love her.

–

It’s the four weeks after my proposal. She’s drifting away, I can definitely feel it. Something was off. I smile tightly.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m not the one for her. That she realizes that she’s not that love me to the point she wants to spend all the rest of her life with me. Maybe, just maybe.

“Hey baby, how’s your day?” I tried to be cheerful in front of her, always trying, it’s okay if I am hurt, for she happy I will be happy. Happy, somehow.

“As usual. My head hurt, the meeting really wears me off” she took the empty seat beside me on the couch. I scoot closer, open my arm. Maybe a hug will make her day brighter.

“You’re doing great. I’m proud” I smile again. “I love you”

Later that night, after we wash the dishes, Tiffany sat rather seriously on the sofa. Somehow I know where this going to end. I sat on the coffee table, facing her.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I said softly.

“We—we need to talk”

“Okay”

I wait patiently, she needs time, I understand. Maybe she already made her mind up.

“Taetae..” she doesn’t want to look at me in the eyes. I held her hands as I rest my arms on her thighs.

“Taeyeon, I think, I think I—we, we better to take a break”

“Do you mind if I ask you the explanation, baby?”

“I, I’m not ready to get married, it’s just too sudden”

“Then, don’t mind my proposal, you can take all the time in the world. I just need you to be here”

“I—I can’t, Taeyeon. Every time I wake up in the morning, looking at your frowning face, I know I disappoint you. I’m sorry”

“I’m not disappointed, baby. Can you—please? Stay?”

“You—don’t understand. I—you suffocate me, Taeyeon”

I froze; I tore my gaze from her face and stare blankly at her fingers. So that’s why, I know somehow it’s my fault.

“Your love suffocates me. It’s too much. You’re too nice”

“I can change for you, baby. I will do anything you tell me to”

“That—that’s the problem, Taeyeon”

“W—what do you mean?”

“You’re too selfless, too love me, too nice. When we fight you always ended up saying sorry, sometimes it ticks me off, I don’t—just, just scold me if I am the one who has fault. You always pick me up on time, even come earlier and wait for me, I feel bad Taeyeon. I never do anything good for you, it’s like—it’s like I don’t deserve someone nice like you”

“I—Baby, I, I can change. You just perfect, baby. You don’t need to do anything for me. I—“ the big lump on my throat won’t go away, no matter how hard I tried to swallow it. “I love you”

“No, Taeyeon, please stop being nice. And please let me talk”

“O—okay”

“You can change, Taeyeon, I know, but it’s not fair for you. It’s like I force you to do things that not you. I—I love you for you are, not I want you to be.

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