I drop her off in front of her office. She waves her hand to me from outside the car. I wave back. The conversation we had couples of minutes before still fresh in my memory.

“Taetae, let’s not seeing each other as often as before”

“W—what? Why?”

“I need a little time to think and beside Seohyun already start her school”

“But!”

“Please, Taeyeon. I will call you when I’m ready”

“Ready? What’s wrong?”

“Just”

“But, Fany—“

“I need space, Taeyeon”

“Why?”

“.. Because... I’m sorry if I sound so selfish, but, you will find your happiness soon. And, and I need to find mine too, soon. So I don’t have to feel down, right?” she tried to smile. It pained me, so much.

“Fany-ah, I’m not gonna abandon you. Ever”

“.. I know.. just give me time”

“.. sigh.. okay, Fany-ah. Anything for you. You know I always have soft spot for you”

“And please just forget me when you’re with Jessica. Sometimes Jessica doesn’t like to share”

“Fany, stop worrying and stop thinking that you need to pull out completely from my life. My life is always about you, whether you like it or not. Even before feeling take a place between our friendship, you always be a part of me. Jessica understands that too. She knows. We know. You have to understand too. If thing goes wrong between me and Sica, I can assure you it will have nothing to do with you or Seohyun or your toe nails or your used gums. I know I might be stupid, but I have sense enough to separate bestfriend thing with love life thing. It’s different. We’re different”

She stared out of the windows, heaved a sigh or two before held my hand “Okay. I get it. But I will not change my decision”

“You always stubborn like that. Just don’t take too long, okay?”

“Hm”

I’m going to miss her presences. And Seohyun too.

--

I decided to call her; I need to know what she was doing. I need to hear her voice. It’s already past her office hours. I know she’s going to take more time there.

“Sica?”

“Taengoo” she sounds so tired.

“I’ll go to yo