It’s been three months since we got together.

Tonight we had a dinner in our usual restaurant and after that I bring her home. I don’t want to rush things in this relationship and I am being extra careful too. I don’t want to make another mistake. I think, I think maybe I love her. I haven’t said that words yet, I find it very sacred words and if I told her that, that’s mean I’m serious about this relationship and I commit myself for her.

I like to sleep with her. I mean not sleep have , but sleep as in sleep. Just sleep. Next to each other. No, I haven’t done anything further than kissing and caressing. I don’t care if any other person calls me slow or wasting the golden opportunity to have a hot girlfriend or whatever, I don’t care. I respect her as a woman, and it’s not all about pleasing each other and have but give your trust to your other half, to love them, to let them know that you love them. I don’t want to have with her, I want to make love to her, I mean not yet, but, ugh, you know, I’m not ready yet. I haven’t even told her I love her.

I need to talk with her too.

She invites me up. And I decide to spend the night. I can count with only my right hand how many I’ve spend night on my own apartment. I visit it just to grab my things and exchange my clothes. I’m so comfortable with spending my after work hours time with her just to bumming around the house and watching TV or whatnot.

I occupy the sofa I’ve grown fond of as she washes up and changes her clothes to the casual one.

I turn on the TV and spend all my attention to the news reports.

“Taeyeon”

“Hm?”

“It’s your turn”

“Hm?”

“Stop watching TV and take a shower. You’re stinking”

“Hm?”

“Stinky-girl”

“Huh? What?” I avert my gaze from the TV’s screen towards her voice.

“Go take a shower”

“Oh, mkay mama”

She slaps my butts when I walk pass her.

--

Jessica is watching the drama when I step out from the bathroom, freshly showered with damp hair. I sat beside her and throw my arm on the backrest, feeling comfortable.

I really love our situation right now. I feel like I’ve changing to my old self who loves being at home and doing nothing while watching my love doing their things. Still, I do hope I don’t repeat the same mistake ever again. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to feel that way again. It’s been so long, and my wounds finally start to