I come back in ten minutes later, actually want to spend more time outside but I remember that probably the dinner is ready already. Jessica’s tired figure greets me. Her shoulder is slumped and she buries her face on her palm, looking dejected.

“Hey” I said. Put my palm against her shoulder blade and slide down to my seat. “Sorry for making you guys wait for me. So, what are we going to have? Have you ordered?” I put the pack between the table and the lighter.

Sooyoung answers instead after she looks at Jessica couple of times, “Yea, we’ve ordered for you”

“Great” I sit back and pull out my phone to check on the mail box and message box. One new message, from coworker, asking for my impending work. I hurriedly reply to it.  “Do you guys order any wine? Red wine maybe?” I put my phone back to my pocket.

“Uh, yes, the waitress offered us a wine that suits the best with our dishes” Sooyoung’s guilty voice rang into my ears. I don’t even know why she’s feeling guilty but I’m not in the place to ask her.

“Oh, great” I smile a little.

Two minutes later our dishes come. I pick up the spoon and start to dig in.

I took a glance to my side and Jessica still sit still and look like not going to eat anytime soon.

“Hey, are you okay?” I try to speak to her. She nods her head and pick up her fork. Stabbing once or twice then twirls a lettuce couple of times. “You don’t look okay”

“I’m okay, just not hungry”

“Really? Hm, okay then” usually when she’s like this I will force her to eat. Not like I stuff the food inside forcefully but like persuading her with my cute voice that she hate so much or try to feed her with my own spoon. But after I hear her words before, I feel like I hold nothing in her life. Or in her heart. Or in her mind.

I guess she’s never love me in the first place. Or she’s already moved on by the time I reject her couple years ago.

I want to feel angry, I want to scream at her, I want to scold her, I want to argue with her, I want to pick fight with her, but then again, it’s all my fault. So, who am I to do all that to her? I should do better in the past and just give her a chance she wanted all along. But. But, was I worthy enough? I was badly damage by that time.

I like you, Jessica, and I care about you, a lot.

I’m sorry.

I continue to eat as the night become older. I feel bad to Sooyoung, she’s having a bad dinner because of me and my unstable, easy-to-get jealous mind.

The wine indeed is a great companion to the dish. Even though I don’t really have much money on me right now, I dare to just gulp all that wine down on my throat and call that nice looking waitress to bring another bottle. She winks at me secretly and when she comes back, she slips a tiny paper into my hand when she fills my glass up beside me.

I peek on it. Oh, a phone number and the time when her shift end. Hm.

I crumple it down and put it on the table when she’s gone. She has a really nice as