My load increased dramatically because my meeting with two investors and one of my dad’s partners got rescheduled this week. In effect, I needed to finish every contracts and my presentation that I originally planned to finish by the end of next week.

“Hey, what do you want for lunch?” I didn’t even realize Chanyeol was already in the seat opposite my desk, with a handsome smile on his face.

“Can we just order something? I don’t have the time and energy to leave, I have so much work,” I could almost cry from all the things I needed to do. The papers on my desk screams: IMPOSSIBLE. Chanyeol sighed, but I saw him fiddling with his phone, and calling for a delivery.

While waiting for the delivery, Chanyeol volunteered to help me. And as much as my pride tells me no, I really needed an extra hand. I was amazed at how fast Chanyeol works, and all I thought, he was just letting his assistants do his works. When the food arrived, Chanyeol was done reviewing more than half of the replies of the sponsors.

“Hey, let’s eat first,” he gently pressed my cheeks to seek my attention because I told him ‘last one minute and then I will eat’ for the past ten minutes. I chuckled because he still has rice on his lips. I leaned forward to kiss him before eating that certain rice.

“Tastes like rice,” I smiled cheekily and when he realized what I did, he quickly pressed his lips against mine, the smirk never leaving his face “Let’s finish this real quick. You’ll be sleeping at my place tonight.”

It sounded impossible, but Chanyeol’s adrenaline has proved him invincible. More than half of my work has been finished, thanks to Chanyeol. “I don’t know what to do without you, thanks really,” I wrapped my arms around him as I repositioned my head on his shoulder.

“I’ll help you finish everything tomorrow,” he brushed the hair as he kissed the top of my head.

“So,” I began as I raised my chin to look up on him. Wrong move. He was already staring at me, and I felt myself blushing.

“So what?” he mocked, as if he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Because I don’t want to say it myself, I shifted my position as I found myself on top of him. He shook his head in amusement and he was about to say something but I cut whatever it was when I crashed my mouth against his. I felt his hand gently grasping my hair and his other hand embracing my waist, locking me in him.

I pulled away and a smiling Chanyeol greeted me when I opened my eyes, “Still don’t know what I’m talking about?” I asked and he shook his head, so I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, let’s torture each other should we?” Two can play this game. I tilted my head to the side as I planted kisses on his neck, towards his adam’s apple and down his collar bones. I reached back on kissing the side of his lips at the side of his jaw until I bit his earlobe, earning a suppressed groan from him. I smiled in satisfaction. I shifted my position and find myself lying next to him, my head resting on his shoulder.

“What the hell? Why did you—” he didn’t finish what he was saying when I found him turning and ending up on top of me.

“Check. Mate,” I gape from what he said, as I realized I’m at a disadvantage. Chanyeol has captured both my wrist, and I’m trapped inside his body, I could no longer make any move. He harshly planted desperate kisses on my lips before leaving it for my neck. He kissed me deeply as we shared our moment of euphoria.

“Chanyeol,” I sang his name, begging him to let go my wrist because I needed to touch him. With a smirk on his face, he shook his head and he kissed my lips again.

“As much as I want to do you tonight, in every corner of this room and in every possible way, you’re going to need all the energy tomorrow,” he whispered on my ear before he leaned closer to kiss my temple while I felt myself shiver. And as much as I wanted him, I knew he’s right so I ended up agreeing.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol,” I started as he positioned me back in his arms while I selfishly breathe in his fragrance.

“Hm?” he asked as he tucked some strands of my hair at the back of my ear, and then I pulled his face to give him a peck.

“I know I’m not doing a good job as a girlfriend. So I’m really thankful that you’re still keeping up with me,” I explained while I felt myself flustering from what I just said. He pulled me in for an embrace and I could only wish that some supreme being could grant us more time.

“You’re a lucky woman,” he joked and I could only make a disagreeing sound, but he laughed and soon I laughed. He is still as conceited as before.

The glass of water I was holding accidentally slipped from my hands and I felt myself hyperventilating for a reason I do not know. Chanyeol stood from his seat and asked me if I’m okay and I gestured him to stay from his position because, “It accidentally slipped my hands.” He simply gave me a nod while I walk towards my desk to push the button that would call for Ms. Kim.

I was about a meter away from my desk when my phone rang only to see Mr. Chung, my dad’s personal assistant, calling me. I felt alarmed for the moment, because it’s unusual for him to call me except when, “Ms. Lee, Doojoon is on the way to fetch you. I’m sorry to break you this news, but—” my grip on my phone loosened and the last thing I heard was the crashing sound of my phone. I saw Chanyeol running towards me, shaking me and asking me things I didn’t seem to hear. Everything was too loud, even the thoughts in my mind have pronounced chaos, my cries aren’t loud enough for me to hear.

"I’m sorry to break you this news, but President Lee… is dead."

People extended me their sympathy, even people I am not familiar with. They would praise my dad, and I would question myself what kind of bond they’ve shared with my father to say those words. Why do people only have the guts to praise someone when they’re gone?

And I’m stuck, staring at an empty sheet of paper, writing a eulogy because I needed to. Tomorrow, I am expected to wear white clothing, declaiming whatever will appear on this empty sheet of paper while putting on a strong façade because I’m going to be seating in my father’s position sooner or later. And my father has never shown any sign of vulnerability—It's expected that I shouldn't too.

“Need any help?” a comforting voice asked. He was the first one to come to me without saying ‘condolence’ or ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or any of that pitiful remarks. I patted the seat beside me while he immediately sat on it, with that comforting smile never leaving his face.

“Thanks for coming, Joonmyun.” He peeked at the supposed to be eulogy I still hasn’t written.

“Now that I think about it, I was never really close to my dad,” I tapped my fingers on the desk while leaning  the side of my head at the wall beside me.

“Time is always our worst enemy, is it?” he mumbled while repositioning himself for a more comfortable position. I sighed, scrunching my nose at his witty statement.

“I’m also coming for my father. He was crying when he heard the news, and on the back of my mind, I would question if he’s crying because he can’t come or because he’s realized no one could really escape it,” I frowned when he said that and he immediately chuckled and said he was just trying to make me laugh.

When the time came that Joonmyun needed to go, I thanked him for being a good friend and taking the time to visit.

“I thought about it,” Joonmyun turned back to me, raising his index finger between his chest and the air, and I asked him what it was because I didn’t understand what he meant.

“Your question, I finally came up with an answer.” Still, I didn’t understand what he meant, so I let him talk again.

“Loyalty…” he started as he flashed me a mindful grin. “… it’s something more powerful than love. It’s not permanent, but it’s something that stays longer, even after love is gone.” He waved me goodbye while I reflected on what he said.

It was the time when I asked him to give me an example of something that ruled over love. I didn’t really mean it as a serious question that I almost forgot I asked him, but he remembered and it turned out to be something I'll have to ponder on.

Chanyeol came with a plastic of take-out for us to eat. He stared at my dad’s half-done eulogy for a second and nodded, “I have something to tell you,” he started and I took a quick glance at him.

“You met my mom,” he finished his statement while I paused from whatever I was doing, to ask him if he’s serious.

He nodded and told me “Black shirt over a blue sweater? She told me she visited, but she didn’t have the time to introduce herself because you were talking to some people and she needed to have her daily medication. I insisted her to wait but she told me she’d probably meet you next time,” he explained and I told him he could have pulled me away from those people because I don’t even have any idea who they were.

“Next time,” he said as he handed me my order. He stood up and I told him where he is going, “Ahjumma hasn’t eaten yet, I’ll just bring her this,” he lifted another plastic before turning to walk towards Choi Eunjee. We haven’t really talked, and after tomorrow, I need to stay at home because I will be working with my dad’s lawyer about his estate.

Chanyeol insisted to eat dinner with me, but since I told him I couldn’t afford to waste time, I invited him over. “Your father has revised his last will and testament,” my dad’s administrator said as he passed to me a photocopy of what seemed to be the revised version of my dad’s last will and testament.

When I flipped through the pages, I almost can’t believe what I was seeing. “These aren’t all his properties,” I questioned him about my dad’s house and some of his properties.

“I’m assuming you weren’t informed, but this house is under Mrs. Choi’s name,” he explained and I pardoned him just to check if I haven’t heard correctly.

“The company and his stocks will soon be transferred under your name and three-fourths of his overseas properties will be yours,” he further explained. The remaining quarter will still be proportioned among Choi Eunjee, Uncle Jaesook, some entrusted employees of my dad, and dad’s chosen charities.

“I’ll be leaving for another appointment. If you have any questions, here’s my calling card,” he handed me a white card with an imprinted logo of his agency. He bid me goodbye as he darted out of my father’s study. My grip on the folder has, unconsciously, tightened. This house, I’ve shared with my dad for most of my life, is under her name. As sentimental as it sounds, but I don’t care if three-quarters or less of my dad’s property will be inherited by me, as long as this house is mine.

I heard a knock coming from the door, and I saw Eunjee carrying a glass of orange juice and a sandwich. “At least drink this. You haven’t eaten anything since this morning,” I almost laughed, my lips parted and I was left speechless. This woman standing before me... Even after his death, I still couldn’t understand how my dad’s brain works, and yet people call him a wise man.

“Do you know?” I found my voice and she asked me what I meant, so I lifted the folder that composed of my father’s estate. She looked at me bewildered when she finally read what is for her.

“I don’t want any of these. I’m telling the truth, I don’t know—“

Just as expected of me, I didn’t cry when I narrated my dad’s eulogy. I was supposed to be strong, because there are people waiting for me to fall. That’s why we have a home, because it’s served as our freedom park. It’s where my dad had his attacks, it’s where I rant with my impossible loads, it’s where we don’t have to dress our suits or wear uncomfortable shoes, and it’s where we could be ourselves.

I have been in my most vulnerable state here. But in the end, I didn’t own this place. Somebody else owns this house, and to make it worse, it’s Choi Eunjee. Just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m defeated, and defeated by her even without her trying.

“I told you to look out for him, didn’t I?!” I began to look at her, my voice starting to shake. Just then, I saw Chanyeol entering with that confused look on his face. I couldn’t think of a better timing.

“Jieun?” she didn’t seem to notice him as she slowly approached me. “Are you? Are you perhaps, blaming me for what happened?” she held my hand while I stared at her straight in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she started crying. “I’m so, so sorry!” she wrapped her arms around me, but I slowly pushed her hands away from me. She kept on crying and the next thing she did shocked me—she knelt down in front of me, begging for my forgiveness.

“Ahjumma!” I heard Chanyeol shout as he ran towards her and told her to stand.

“It’s not her fault, Jieun!” I twitched hearing him yell my name, and for the first time, out of rage. He’s angry, I’m angry, we’re having an argument about something else and he tells me I’m impossible and the next thing I know, my hand landed on his left cheek. I regretted it the moment I did, but what’s done is done, and I know I’m being illogical even if I hate to admit it myself.

I exited my dad’s study and went inside my room. I quickly pulled my suitcase and threw whatever I can until I find it full. Chanyeol told me to stop this drama and talk to him. When I was about to grab my suitcase and leave, Chanyeol pulled my arm and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m ed up, Chanyeol! Everything about me is damned! This house, the people living in this house, my life… even this relationship!” my tears started falling and I heard our housekeepers enter and ask if everything is okay, and Chanyeol politely told them to leave because he will fix this.

I pulled away. “Let’s end this, Chanyeol,” I was so exhausted it sounded like I’ve spent my last amount of strength saying those words.

“No. You’re just exhausted.” He held my hand but I loosened my grip as I stared on the floor, “I’m sorry,” my tears blurring my vision. “This isn’t what you want. We’re going to fix this , listen to me—“

“Please, Chanyeol. You can’t fix this anymore,” I painfully uttered when I don’t want to really say those words to him. He stepped back and when I looked up at him, his expression told me he can’t believe what he was hearing.

I squatted down to grab my suitcase and once I stood up, I was greeted by the presence of Choi Eunjee and her children standing close to my door. Her kids were crying beside her and asking her to stop from crying. She was begging me to stay, and some things I chose to ignore. Before I could take my step, I recognize one child protectively holding her hand and his eyes directed to the ground—Chunji.

Suddenly everything felt so crowded, I needed to escape. It’s always the only thing left to do when there's no more alternative. I tightened my grip around the cold metal of my suitcase and took my steps. Through the defeaning loudness of cries behind me, I heard three hearts break.

A/N: double update for you guys, because i love you. Long chapter? send me your love by comment