I didn't knew what to say. Yongguk kissed me. He really kissed me! 
I was so happy I couldn't handle myself.
He brought me home and gave me a goodnight kiss.
"See you, pabo.", he smirked. I just could nodd. He waved and left.
I felt like dying because of happiness. 

I went in and wanted to talk to my mom when I saw her sitting on the couch. A soju bottle in one hand, in the other hand a letter.
There were many tears on her cheek and her face was red.
"Mom?", I asked. Immediately I went to her and hugged her.
"What's wrong, Umma?", I took her face in my hands.
"Katara...", she whispered. She burst into sobs.
"Umma..", I didn't knew what to do. I looked at her hands. I took the letter and read it.

It was bill, over 15.000 dollars. 
'Oh no', was my only thought.
"What are we going to do?", my mom asked under her sobs.
"It's all because of you father...h-he made these monetary debt!", she cried.
I was helpless. 15.000 dollars? And these weren't our bills for the house.
"Otokae?", she asked herself and drank of the bottle.
"..I-I go work...I already send an application..a-an", I stuttered. I tried to calm my mom, but it failed.
"No, you can't go work. You're only 17! You have to go to school and have to become a doctor or a laywer..."
"But we can't stay like this, you knoew that they kicked me out of school, and other schools are to expensive... I'll work!", I tried to convince her but she shooked her head.
"No Katara...don't do the same mistake like me..", she covered her face.

When my mom was young and failed dancing because of your injury, she stopped going to school and began to work. She couldn't stand the views of her classmates. And then she meet my dad...

I pushed the thoughts away and tried to convince her once again:
"Umma listen, you can't do this alone. I'm here, and I'll help you, arasso? We'll get over this, we can do this! Trust in me and in yourself umma. We can't sit and cry. We have to stand up and do anything what we can to get over it. When we have enough money, I'll go to an other school and repeat the class. But please stop crying now."
She seemed to listen to my words, but didn't say anything. She was so stubborn.

She wiped her tears away and stood up, but immediately fall back to the couch.
"You're drunk mom.", I sighed.
"I know", she gave sulky back.
We both went quiet and didn't spoke for minutes. She was drunk and I thought hardly about what we're going to do next.
When I gave up, I sighed and took my moms hand.
"I know it's not the best time to speak about it but I have to tell you something umma...I kissed Yongguk.", I smiled.
At first she seemed very confiused but then her face brightened and she smiled back.
"Gukkie?"
I nodded. She chuckled and gave me a thight huge.
"I knew one day, you'll be a couple.", she said enthusiastic.
'Couple?', I thought and pushed her back.

"But umma...we...just...kissed.", I began.
"Does it really mean that we're together now?", I asked and went sad.
Yes we kissed each other...but it was me how confessed my love. Not him. He didn't even say anything about it.
"Of course it does!", she said a bit to loud.
"In my time, when a boy kisses a girl, it mean that they're together! But now, everyone can kiss someone and do what they want with their bodys", she yelled.
"Umma...", I began but she interrupted me.
"It's true Katara, it's true. Female teenagers behave like es! They were short skirts and dance like strippers." She stood up and made some weird moves.
"And if a man only looks at them, they are ready to do everything him!", she tried to make an face.
"Umma...you still know that we live in Seoul, don't you?", I just asked.
"I know.", she pouted.
"I'm so happy, that I have such an intelegant daughter like you! Strong and pretty! and not doing what every man wants. Not prostitiuding herself..."
"UMMA!", you screamd. She was talking such a rubbish, you couldn't stand it anymore.
"Arasso, arasso! I go to sleep now.", she had made her way to her room, but not without staggering and stumbling over some books.
Befor she got in she turned around and said:
"I'm sure Yongguk really means the kiss with you. So I think, he won't stay it like this", she smiled proudly.
"I know Gukkie! He's a great man!", but suddenly she made a seriouse face and looked straight in my eyes.
"But if he dare touching you somewhere..."
"UMMA! Please go to bed...NOW!", I yelled. She put her hands up to show the she gave in and went in her room.

"Stupide Umma, drinks until she only speaks rubbish.", I lightly smiled.
I also went to my bed and couldn't sleep. I was only thinking about Yongguk.
'I'll talk to him on monday.', I thought. You knew him better than any other. He wasn't the kind of guy who plays with girls. Yes he is sometimes a bit to wild and a bit scary, but when he knew someone he was the sweetest and nicest person ever. And he wouldn't never play with your heart, never.
'Please be mine Yongguk.', was my final thought before I fell in a deep sleep.


On monday, I ran to my old school. I wanted to see Yongguk.
If he only plays with me, I would never forgive him. But I knew him. Yes I did, but I was only unsure. He was 6 years older than me, and he already had some 'girlfriends'. They weren't his real girlfriends. He had them to show his former friends, Block B, that he was also someone. But he never touched or kissed one of them. And I was really happy because, I hated them. They were only barbie dolls, who tried to get attention of some boys. In this thing my mom was right, some of them were really es.

Before I reached the school, I heard a honk of a motorcycle.
I turned around and looked at the driver. He didn't seemed familiar to because he weared a motorcycle shall and a helmet. I neither see his eyes.
He waved to come to him. I didn't felt well, so I turned around to left him, but suddenly I heard a familiar voice.

"Katara, why do you ran away from me?", Zelo voiced asked.
Surprised I turned to him and looked in his pouting face.
"Zelo?", I asked stupide again. I couldn't believe that he new how to ride a motorcycle.
"Yes it's me, Zelo", he liftet his arms and flexed his muscles.
"Pabo!", I laughed and ran towards him. I hugged him tightly. I only knew him for a short time, but I really liked him.
"What are you doing here?", I asked curious.
"I-I-I...was o-on my way t-to...to...uuum...", he blushed and ruffeled his hair.
Yes, I knew him for a short time, but the way he behaved...I didn't liked it.
"TO ZICO!", he suddenly yelled.
"I was on my to Zico..b-because I forgot something.", he said. For me a bit to fast.
"At 7 o'clock? On a monday where you normaly should be in school?", I asked and lifted an eyebrow.
"Uuuum...umm...yes..", he gave back. Something was absolutly wrong. My look went to the motorcycle.
"How old are you again?", I asked.
"17, like you.", he smiled but a bit confiused about my question. I nodded.
"Right..17...and you ride a motorcylce interesting.", you gave back.
He blushed but didn't say a thing. 'Idiot', I thought and sighed.
"Where did you get the motorcycle?", I asked demand.
"I borrowed...", he said shy. Normaly I wasn't so paranoid, but I knew that he hang out with Block B so it was my right to be paranoid.
"Yah! Don't lie to me!", I was about to hit him and force him to say the truth, when suddenly a man screamed:
"POLICE!"

"!", Zelo hissed and grab my wrist. He pushed me on the back of the seat and began to drive.
And if I say he drived I mean I raced so fast that everything past like a timelapse.
"STOP!", I screamed and hold his waist so tight I could.
"I CAN'T!", he screamed back. He raced 20 minutes and drived over some red traffic lights.

When he finally stopped I was shaking.
"Woooa, that was close.", he said with a big smile in his face. When he saw me he stopped smiling and helped me getting of the motorcycle.
"Why are you so pale?", he asked. I didn't answer. I had a flash back.


I was 6 and my dad bought a knew motorcycle.
"Daddy, can I ride this with you?", I was really amazed.
"Of course you can.",he smiled.
My father wasn't born as a bad person. When I was young I could remember that he was friendly and open. He loved playing the guitar. Playing the guitar was his passion and one of the reason why my mom fell in love with him. He was the best at playing it. When he played it was like he put all his feelings in it. When he was happy or when he was said. He didn't spoke much, it was the guitar who spoked for him.

One day, it was on a tuesday, he had a gig in a famous bar. He was really excited and thought it'll be his breakthrough.
I played with brother, but when I saw my dad getting on his motorcycle, I ran towards him and began to begg.
"Please, daddy, please! I want to go with you!"
He ruffeled my hair.
"You can't, you're too young and it'll be only boring for you, Kati", he made an apologizing face.
His nickname for me was Kati. He only called me like that and I've loved it.
But I was to stubborn that I made my best aegyo. He burst into laugher and my mom came surprised out of the kitchen.
"What's so funny?", she smiled.
"Kati, wants to come with me but I'm telling her she is too young.", daddy explained.
"Take her with you. She loved seeing you plaing the guitar. And I heard Ms Lee, will be there too, so she can take care of Katara, until I have come with Youngjae.", she winked at me.
"Well...I don't know...isn't she to young to ride with me on the motorcycle?", he asked more himself than my mom.
She shoke her head.
"You know our Katara, she's never too young for anything. Do her this favour, arasso?", she gave daddy a kiss on his lips.
He smiled and looked down on me.
"So let's go.", he lifted me up and put me on the front of seat. He took a helmet which was absolutly to big for my head and began to ride.

It was great. I felt like I was flying.
"Yeepiii!", I yelled and my dad laughed.
"Does it make so much fun?", he asked. I nodded.

Then I did a big mistake. I liftet my arms. I thought it could be like in the carousel. But I was defenetly wrong.
"Yah, Kati", my dad ranted and tried to put hands down again. Meanwhile a fast car drived in our way. 

Everything was so fast. My dad lost a bit of his control and drived a bit wide to left, and the car bumped in us.

The only thing then I remember was that we were in the hospital and they were operating my father.
They already called my mom she was on my side crying. Youngjae tried to be strong and to calm us two down.
The doctor explained us, that he had some bad injury on his head because he didn't wear any helmet. He had broken his rips, his left leg and his right arm.
My mom was absolutly shoked. She new how much playing playing the guitar mean to him and now he couldn't play it for many months.
"But he will be ok, don't he? His arm will be ok, that he can play again the guitar?", my mom asked panicly.
The doctor nodded.
"Everything will be ok...but I think he won't be able to play the guitar so good as he did before." excuised the doctor.

And this was the beginning that my dad changed. He tried so hard to play the guitar but he didn't get his feeling for playing back. He went frustrated and began to drink too much alcohol. He gave me and my mom the blame for not beeing able to play the guitar and hit us both almost every single day until he went to prison.


"YAH, KATARA!", Zelo shaked me really hard.
"WAKE UP!", he shaked me again.
I pushed his hands away and tried to calm down. The memories hurted so much.
"I'm fine.", I said.
"Really, you don't seem so...", worried he put his hands on my cheek.
"You're to pale.", he whispered.
"Yah, don't dare touching me!", I yelled, grab him on his collar and bend him down on view.
"You borrow, huh?", I said angry.
"You meant, you stole it, don't you?", I said still angry.
He didn't say anything and didn't looked at me. His look was in the ground.
"Answer me when I talk to you.", I grabed his collar tighter.
"I would brought it back..."
"YAH YOU PUNK!", I screamed and liftet my knee to punch him in his stomach.
He groan and collapsed on the ground.
"Bring it back? Are you absolutly stupide or what?", you asked him in unbelief.
But he just had his hands on his stomach and tried to breath.
"It's because of you stupid hyungs, isn't it? You try to impress them again and do all the they say!", you yelled.
"Don't talk so rude about my hyungs!", he yelled back and stood up.
"It was my own desicion!"
"To steal a motorcycle with 17? Don't fool me boy! I know your freaky hyungs! They only do bad things to good people and now you're going to be the idiot!", I shouted at him. I didn't wanted Zelo to become a victime like Yongguk.
"Don't dare saying that you know them when you don't know my brothers. They are good guys.", he gave back.
"Good guys? Are you kidding me? I see, that you think that they behave like your brothers, but they are not!"
"How could you know how a brother behaves? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE", he screamed at you.

You were in a daze. In a daze of pain. One tear fell on your cheek, immediately a second came.
Zelo looked in my face and regert everything he said.
"I-I am sorry!", he took one step forward but I took a step back.
"Don't..." I whispered. I turned around and began to ran.
"KATARA!", Zelo shouted after me, but I didn't stop. It wasn't his fault. In the disco when he asked me if I had siblings I said no. I don't wanted him to feel pitty for me or something. But I never thought that he'll using my weak agency against me.

I ran until I couldn't breath anymore. I sat down on a bench tried to calm down.
I wasn't crying anymore. I was still sad when someone talked about my brother or my family, but since I said goodbye to my brother I wasn't so weak inside anymore.
It was still in morning but I didn't knew where I was. Seoul was such a big city. And I had no money to take a taxi or calling someone, so I took a walk.
After an hour I found myself in a big park. It was beautiful!
There were so many flowers. I fell in love with this park.
'It's my favorite park now!', I thought happy and continued walking. I reached a little hill I could see the whole park.
"Wow.", I said out loud. Normaly it was impossible that in this season flowers were blooming, but right infront of me I saw the opposite.
I put my mp3-player out of my pocket and put the headphones in my ears.
I began to dance. It wasn't that cold today, so while I was dancing it opend my jacket and threw it next to me.
I never told someone but my favorite type of dance was ballet, like my mother.
So I danced ballet all alone on a lonley hill. I felt great. I forgot all my thought and just danced.
When I stopped I heard someone clapping in his hands.
I turned around and looked in Daehyun's smiling face.

"Wow, I'm impressed.", he came towards me.
"W-what are you doing here? Don't you have school?", I asked him a bit shocked. He surprised me.
"Yes, I have.", he answered and took my jacket to give to me.
"But..?", I tried to continue his sentence while I put my jacket on.
"But I don't wanted to go."
"So you just play turent?"
"Exactly.", he smiled. 'How can a man be so damn hot?', I asked myself.
"But what are you doing here?", he asked curious.
Should I tell him about what happend with me and Zelo? No, he don't even know him, why should he care?
"I was kicked out of the school, if you forgot. I can do what I want. And I love parks. But the better question is what you are doing here? You don't seem like a guy who loves flowers and the nature.", you asked back.
He laughed a bit and came closer.
"Why are you so rude to me? I thought I'm your oppa now?", he whispered the last words in my ear. I blushed immediately and remembered the night. I had forgotten it and now he reminds me. It was all so embaracing.
I took two steps back and cleared my throat.
"Because of last time...", I began and he came closer again. I took one step back again.
"I-I wasn't m-myself, y-you know.", he kept coming closer and I kept taking steps back.
"I was drunk and...", suddenly I leanded against a tree, so I couldn't step back.
"And?", he was right in front of me and leanded his arm over my head on the tree. He was only centimeter away from my face. I felt his breath tickeling my skin. He bend down and I thought he was about to kiss me. His face went down on my neck and he smelled at it.
"You're still smelly. Don't you have any deo at home?", he asked serious and took many steps back.
"If I have to smell you again, I think I have to die." I couldn't say anything. My heart was beating too fast.
"Yah..", I said weak.
"Don't mind. I already forgot about this funny night.", he answered simply and left.
After I had control my heart, I ran after him.

"Wait.", I said and grab his wrist.
"What?", he asked.
"Where am I?" you asked before Daehyun burst into laugher.


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So I already wrote 11 chapters...do you like it? or should I stop? Please comment and tell me if I should continue :)
Thanks.