What the...?
How Can I Forget?
Yoora’s POV:
“Yoora?” The voice said… It was a lady’s voice…
I quickly looked back. My eyes grew wide. But to double check, I turned back to my Appa’s grave to look at the picture of my “family”. Then I looked back up to the woman.
“Umma?” I whispered.. Still trying to find my voice after all that crying.
My Umma had tears in her eyes now. “Oh my goodness! It’s really you!!” She cried out.
I quickly got up to my feet. I stood in front my Umma. I was slightly taller than her. I had tears blurring my vision again. I wrapped my arms around my Umma’s neck. I buried my face into her hair and shoulder, inhaling her scent. Knowing this was all real. I inhaled some more, just in case she would suddenly make a run for it. I cried into her clothed shoulder.
“I’ve missed you so much.” I said, trying to gain my breath.
My Umma sniffled. “You’ve grown so much!” She looked at me.
“Mrs. Kim?” I heard behind me.
“Well look who it is! It’s Mr. Yang Yoseob!” My mom smiled at him.
My Umma let go of me, and she went to go hug Yoseob. “Look at you. You’re famous now, huh? You’ve grown also!” She said.
“Thank you, Mrs. Kim.” He said.
My Umma looked at me and then at Yoseob. “What a family reunion, no?” She said.
I nodded. “It’s a major coincidence.”
“How’d you know that your Appa was buried here?” My Umma asked me.
We were now sitting on the grass, in front of my Appa’s grave. Me and Yoseob on one side, and my Umma on the other.
“Umm.. RaeKyung Imo, told me… She went to go visit one of Appa’s sisters…” I answered.
“Oh wow. How is she? I haven’t seen her in forever…” My mom said.
“She’s doing good. She has three kids now…” I answered. “I’m currently living with her.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t communicated with you since the day you left Korea…” She sighed. “Six years ago.”
I shook my head. “Anniyo, it’s fine… I guess.. As long as you have a reason.” I said.
My Umma was staring at me. “I just can’t believe how much I missed.” She began to cry again. “I’ve missed your 13th birthday, I missed your high school graduation, I missed everything… I regret my mistakes I made.” She put her head into her hands.
Seeing my Umma after six years was kind of awkward if you asked me… It’s just that, when you’re so used to living with your Auntie’s for six years and counting, seeing the woman who brought you into this Earth, just seemed surreal.
“Umma. I guess what you did, sending me to America with my Auntie and her family was the last resort…” I said. “If you were to have me stay with you and Appa, and then having to rotate every once in awhile, would make me go crazy.. I get it… You were thinking about me and my happiness the whole time.” I sighed.
My Umma nodded into her hands. “I just regret it so much.” She whispered.
“You know, I wish you were here by my side when I was told I was the new trainee to CUBE… I wish you would’ve guided me through…” I whispered. There was something starting to bubble up inside of me... Anger?
My Umma lifted up her head. “You’re a trainee now?” She asked.
I nodded. “I’ve been a trainee for a week already.”
“I’m so sorry, Yoora. But when you lose communication with your only daugh-” I cut her off.
“I can’t be your only daughter.. That love baby you had… Was it a boy or a girl?” I asked her. My anger is slowly rising...
“It was a girl…” She put her head down in shame.
“See… Umma. I’m sorry if the words that I’m about to say are harsh. But I’ve kept them locked in way too long, and I think my Umma should hear it for herself.” I said. My anger has reached its point... It needs to be released..
“Go ahead.” She whispered.
I can’t wait to get these words off my chest. I in a breath. Yoseob squeezed my side for support.
“Umma, I hate how you and Appa decided to abandon me, and send me off to live with an Auntie… I wish you were there by my side when I hit my teenage years… I wish you were there when I went from elementary to middle. I really wish you were there when I went to high school.” I breathe in a shaky breath. “I wanted you to be there when I went to my first homecoming dance. When I got my first boyfriend… When I went to prom… Graduation…” My eyes squinted at her... Oh, I wasn't done yet... There's still more waiting to be shot at her.
My Umma was crying… “I’m so sorr-” I cut her off again.
“Umma, the times I needed you the most, you weren’t there! I wanted you to be by my side! Not my Auntie!” My voice began to rise. “I wish this never happened!! I wish you didn’t make the stupid mistake of having an affair. I wish this DIVORCE NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!” I yelled. I was furious.. But seeing my Umma had made me develop anger I’ve never experienced…
Yoseob stiffened.. “Yoora?” He whispered.
“Yoora!!! IT WAS THE BEST FOR US!!!” My Umma yelled back at me. “I didn’t want you to go through with the parent trading. And then the child support. I just couldn’t see you break down from the mistakes that I made. So we sent you to Auntie JunHee.” She said.
“I’m really sorry…” She said.
“Umma. I needed you most when I got chosen as trainee… I was confused out of my mind… I didn’t know what to do.. All I wanted was my Umma to come and support me…” I said. I started to calm down...
“Well you made th right decision, because a musician has been your dream from the beginning.” She said.
I nodded. “Thank you Umma.. For everything.. All I have to say now is that I don’t really need you.. I have the support from your sisters to be who I am..” I said. “I know this is all harsh coming from your daughter you’ve just reunited with… But I’ve kept it in for too long… I’m sorry. Goodbye.” I said.
I got up… Before I left, I got a piece of paper out and wrote my cell phone number.. “If you want to talk again.. And not in this kind of situation… Please call me."
I walked away… Feeling a huge weight being lifted off my chest… I left my Umma, crying..
Mianhaeyo, Umma..
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It's rushed... I'm sorry!! I will edit tomorrow!!
And it's confusing.. I KNOW!! MIANHAEYO!!! TT_TT
Saranghaeyo!!!!<3
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