WARNING! This story has subjects like suicide, so please just, be warned and don't do anything like this! Some of you might have read some of this before, the background is taken from another fic I wrote, but this is kinda mixed with the original plan I had and a new story... And this is a birthday gift for my friend faisonsunreve

Andy was getting married. He was at his wedding right now, marrying the girl of his dreams, and Junjin wouldn’t attend.

His face was red, eyes swollen as he had cried all night, and he finally knew what he needed to do.

He reached a hand out, grabbing the glass of sleeping pills. He was ready to let him go now, he was ready to go on.

The phone kept ringing, Andy had tried to get a hold of him ever since the party last night, where Junjin had ran away as soon as the topic of Andy’s married life was brought up.

Andy wasn’t the only one who kept calling him. Hyesung was extremely persistent. But of cause he knew more than the other hyungs.

He didn't know exactly when he knew he loved him, he didn't know why, all he knew was, that Andy would never love him back. He had always been certain that Andy was straight, he had never seen Andy with a man, but again Andy had never seen Junjin with one either… and he wasn’t straight. But it was for the best that he never found out, not anymore at least, it would just make them awkward again, and that was the thing he feared the most. This way, he could at least see Andy happy.

He had tried hinting at him so many times, he had wanted to touch him so many times when they shared a dorm room, it was a good thing they shared a room with Minwoo, if not, he didn't think he was strong enough to keep his hands to himself. He remembered one night in particular which almost went wrong, back when they hadn't known each other for long, back when Andy still had to call him hyung.

"Hyung, can I sleep in your bed please?" Andy was standing beside his bed, the room was dark, the only light he could see was coming from the moon outside. But even in the dark room, it was obvious that Andy had been crying.

"Wh...wh...why? Is...is something wrong?" he was stuttering, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn't help it, he had just woken up from a very vivid dream, a dream involving Andy, and him, and something he could never do to the maknae.

"Hyung... I had a nightmare, and I can't sleep, and I don't want to wake Eric hyung up" Andy just stood there, wearing his loose pants and old t-shirt, looking utterly adorable. He wanted him in his bed, of cause he did, but what if he dreamt things like that while they were lying so close? and he wasn't wearing a shirt, he couldn't have Andy's skin touching his chest.

"S...s...sure, Andy. C...climb right in" he gave the best smile he could as he moved over, waiting for Andy to bring his covers with him. But that didn't happen, Andy just climbed right into his covers, putting his face so close to Junjin's chest. He could feel his heart beating a million times a minute, this was it, Andy was going to figure out that something was wrong now, he had to calm down, Andy meant nothing ual with this, he was just scared and tired, and Junjin was a ert.

"Hyung are you ok? Your heartbeat is really fast, and you're sweating a lot" Andy looked him right in the eyes, God, this was the most embarrassing thing he's ever tried.

"Sure, I'm fine. I just... Had a nightmare" great excuse Junjin, he's definitely going to buy that.

"That's why you're acting so weird? Hyung you should have told me. I could have talked to you" he smiled so cutely, so innocently. Why was he in love with this guy?

"Hyung? Let's make a promise. If we ever feel scared again, or have anything keeping us up at night, let's talk about it, ok?" This was the first time the two of them had really confided in each other, and Junjin wouldn't even keep the promise, since he went on to have countless more sleepless nights thinking about Andy, and their difficult situation. Andy wasn't kidding though, they went on to have many night's sleeping in each other's beds, Andy had unusually many nightmares, unless it wasn't just nightmares keeping him up.

Well that night they ended up talking for a bit, since he wanted to calm Andy down to make sure he was the one to fall asleep first. They were interrupted sometime after an hour or so by Minwoo telling them to shut up and sleep, and they were woken up the next morning by confused members, wondering why they were in the same bed.

Junjin lived life fine for some time, loving Andy secretly, knowing the guy was straight, and knowing he had to get over him. But it all worked out fine since no one knew about it but him. But that all changed one day.

They had moved to a new dorm, everyone had gotten their own rooms. It was sad in a way, but then again, Andy was just next door if he needed him, and this way, he had more privacy when he fantasized.

He was sleeping on that faithful day, having another one of his "dreams", at least he didn't have to worry about Andy finding out now they didn't share a room anymore, but it still being young, your brain and body just couldn't focus on not being erted.

"Jinnie, we need to talk" It was Hyesung's voice pulling him out of his dream, and when he opened his eyes in shock he saw his room fully lit, Hyesung standing in front of him with folded arms, looking very concerned.

"Sure hyung. I... About what?" He was so embarrassed, it was embarrassing that his body did what it did.

"Jinn