The days they spent together nauseated Maliha. It didn’t matter what she did, Donghae was always there, ready with another action to woo her or to keep her happy. On the set, he was the perfect gentleman, always ready for their “dates,” always willing to perform whatever moments the show wanted to see them do. It was a bit too much.

                On set, he would make sure to always hold her hand. When they went out, he would always shield her from any glaring paparazzi, walking into restaurants, he always held her hand. If Maliha was dead honest with herself, she would actually admit that she liked it. But it was petty and useless if it was with such an important idol.

                During their days together, Donghae managed to talk to her. He was always really polite. Part of the show was getting to know each other through everyday lives. He would casually be cooking before asking her a question about her pre-trainee days. She also found out that he had debuted a long time before she had, and that he was part of a large group who was known all around the world. She had to be impressed. But his experience only served to make her more suspicious. He was groomed at the art of seducing, and faking.

                She always wanted to keep her distance but he was always there. It was maddening. But what alarmed her the most was her reactions. She distinctly hated the fact that even off the camera, he acted like the perfect gentleman to her. It was as if he had no malevolent, mean or angry bone in his body. If there were a dictionary with purely pictures, his would be next to the word ‘perfection.’

                There were distinct moments too. There was one time when she was crying over failing a test. It was math, and it was hard. She had walked into the filming with slightly puffy eyes and while the PD had wanted to exploit on the moment, have a romantic crying scene, Donghae had steered her away and asked her what was wrong. He had let her cry on his shoulder, and smear his pristine white shirt with her salty residue.

                When she had apologized, he only laughed and shook her off. “It’s fine. It’s healthy to cry once in a while. Feel free to ruin more shirts with your amazing tears.” He had joked around, and somehow that had evaporated her hatred for him. For a day of course.

                Afterwards, he had shown up randomly at the YG studio. Yes, an SM artist at YG. It was inconceivable and he only earned hard stares from the workers and admiring, yet slightly guarded looks from the artists. He walked through the halls rapidly, nodding at the people he knew and ignoring the whispers. When he walked in front of Maliha’s studio, she honestly had to look outside to see if there were cameras. There weren’t. He had presented her with a large bouquet of flowers that had somehow escaped her scrutiny the first time.

                On the one month anniversary of their run as a couple, they had to film a special event. But afterwards, when she was packing her bag, getting ready to go home and do homework, he had stopped her. “Maliha, what do you say to us going out and celebrating our month together?”

                She had raised an eyebrow and pointedly said, “Didn’t we just go through a lengthy filming? Your girlfriend must be very lucky that you always keep anniversaries in mind.”

                He laughed. “Okay, how about our one month together as friends. Really, we’re only on this show for one more week. Surely I’m allowed to celebrate the making of a new friend? It’ll be fun. I promise I will get you home with plenty of time to study. Come on, it’ll be alright. Just friends, I promise.” He held his hand out invitingly and she had reluctantly taken it.

                That night, he managed to make her laugh, make her enjoy life in Korea more than she had before. He showed her the beautiful night scenery and the best tourist hotspots. When it was time to go home, he dropped her off, but not before kissing her slightly on the forehead. So much for just being friends.

                But that wasn’t what bothered her. What bothered her was how she responded. What bothered her was how eager she was to see him every day and how willing she seemed to listen to him. She hated being under anyone’s control and it seems as if this time, Lee Donghae had her wrapped around his elegant pinky. Maliha glared at the doors to the studio, and wondered what she should do. It was their last day of filming, and she was rightfully glad. Maybe he would finally get out of her life.

                She pushed open the doors and was startled by an alarming darkness. “Hello? Is there nobody here?” she called out. The sounds echoed off the walls and bounced back at her.

                She turned to leave and suddenly light flooded the studio. “Surprise!” Donghae jumped out from behind the chair and waved a light stick happily in the air. “I just wanted to throw you a little party before we do our final scene. It’s been amazing knowing you and I honestly hope we can remain friends.”

                Maliha clenched her jaw, trying to control the rush of emotion that hit her. One of the prevailing ones was self-loathing. She hated that he made her feel inept, inadequate because he had thought of saying goodbye and she hadn’t.

                In front of all the camera people, in front of all these people, she snatched the flowers he held out before him and threw it to the ground. “Who do you think you are? Just because I’m a newbie and you’re an international super star does not mean you’re allowed to toy with my affections like this! It’s honestly quite cruel what you’re doing. You know perfectly well you won’t ever see me again. We’re in different companies for goodness’ sakes. So what is your problem and why are you always lying and faking your friendship?”

                He stared forlornly at the trampled flowers and looked about to speak but she cut him off. “You think you’re so perfect. Oh I’m Mr. Lee Donghae, and all the girls like me. I can be as romantic as I want and be as perfect as I want. Because I’m Donghae, and perfection practically defines me. You’re terrible. Are you even a living, breathing, feeling human being? How can you tolerate me for so long and still be so kind to me? Are you even normal? No of course not. Perfection isn’t normal.” She paused, then suddenly wanted him to respond. “Look at you, you’re still so quiet. Is there no way to get you mad?”

                In a second he has crossed the room and pushed her up against the wall. He placed one arm next to her and leaned in, his eyes flashing dangerously. “I can get mad. I can get very mad. In fact, at this moment, I am downright furious. I am not perfect, although I’m flattered that you think that. I don’t think perfect,” he leaned in and lowered his voice, “would want to jump your bones the moment he sees you.”

                Maliha shivered and tried to move but he slammed the other hand down, effectively caging her in. “You’re not going anywhere! I spent these past seven months trying to get you to like me, to at least want to be my friend. And I thought I had succeeded. Instead, I come back and see that you have turned an entire one eighty and am now calling me a fake! I’ll tell you this: those scenes we had to act out may have been fabricated, but I would never put in so much damn effort if I didn’t like you!”

                Maliha whimpered. “I know what you’re thinking! You’re thinking that I’m a professional, of course I would know how to put in effort. But I’ll be honest with you. I really like you. I honestly don’t want to break off our friendship. I actually wanted it to be something more! In the past five months, I think I may have fallen in love with you, as stupid and clichéd as it sounds. But I guess since I was just fooling around and toying with your affections, I can just give up and stop wasting my time because apparently seven months isn’t enough!” He glared at her with a contempt that burned through her heart and made her cry.

                “We’ll have to film this some other day. Or you can just take shots and use that. I’m sorry, but at this point, I don’t think either of us would be comfortable with even any amount of pretending,” he spoke softly and apologetically to the PD and left the studio, leaving behind him an echoing quiet.

                Maliha wanted to curl up into herself, and pretend that nothing had happened. But she couldn’t get over the fact that he was mad at her, enraged, furious, in fact. She couldn’t get his words out of her mind. He had said he loved her, and it scared her to realize, that she may love him too.

                She hated herself for admitting the truth, especially when it was too late. She stood up, and gathered her bag, avoiding the awkward gazes of the other people. They cleared a path to let her go and she went home and cried her heart out.