batch 1 // azeline // 7.

☆ Hallucinated Dreams Reviews Archive ☆


inexplicable by exoexoexolellel



Criticism Level: 10

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Title: 5/10
Originality: Truth to be told, I dislike titles with only one word. Although it is easier to remember such titles, these titles rarely stand out and are mostly overused. Sometimes, they can be rather vague as well. 'Inexplicable' is not really original in that sense so very unfortunately, I have to deduct a mark. Titles with two to three words, in my opinion, are the best. (1/2)
Relevance: I cannot see how it is relevant so far, but I am guessing that Taeyeon's love for Baekhyun is inexplicable. I guess I have to read the whole story to find out whether it is really relevant to the title. (2/4)
Attractiveness: I have mentioned in Title: Originality that titles with one word can be quite vague, and that may be rather off-putting for some people. Your title is certainly vague. Even though the word 'inexplicable' does not have tons of meanings, people will wonder what exactly is ineplicable. I guess some people may be interested in that way so this varies. (2/4)

Description & Foreword: 9/10
Relevance: I don't think the situation is that terrible that Taeyeon's choice is a matter of life and death, so that is quite exaggerating. Other than that, the description and foreword are relevant. (4/5)
Attractiveness: The question and quote/s about the trust, hope and love thing is certainly intriguing. (5/5)

Setting: 4/5
Relevance: The setting is relevant in some way. (4/5)

Characters: 18/20
Originality: Playboys are no longer original, the smart student is no longer original either. I like that Taeyeon actually stands up for herself and I hope she keeps that up. It is rare to find strong female main characters like her most of the time. (3/5)
Believability: So far so good, the characters are believable enough. I like the interactions between the characters; they really show the friendship between young people. Taeyeon's reaction to her being grounded is believable. Even if she is a very sensible person, she is still 17 years old and I doubt that. I think that I can understand why she chooses to tutor Baekhyun initially. I have nothing much to say for the others for now. (15/15)

Plot: 18/25
Originality: It is kinda cliche, and I have already guessed that Taeyeon is going to fall for Baekhyun in the end. I am glad that she is not letting him get his way initially for once. That is rather comforting to know. (3/5)
Believability: The plot is believable even though I still have my doubts on why Taeyeon's mother wants her daughter to tutor Baekhyun, but it should be revealed later on in the story. Other than that, I have mentioned most things in Characters: Believability. (9/10)
Theme: I cannot really figure out the theme in the story, but is it really angst? That is pretty surprising but maybe I will be able to see the angsty side of the story later on. It does make me laugh and I have a feeling that it will be romantic, so it is relevant to its genres. (6/10)

Flow: 9/10
Consistency: Your flow is okay, but the scene when Taeyeon knows she is grounded comes way too fast for my liking. (9/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 8/10
Grammar: There are some minor mistakes.
"When Kim Taeyeon over spends..." - 'over spends' should be 'overspends'.
"Not allowed to go out with her friends, her phone taken away, laptop used only for homework and assignment purposes, basically everything that builds up a teenage life gets stripped from her." - "Not only is she forbidden to go out with her friends, her phone is also taken away and her laptop can only be used for homework and assignment purposes. Basically, everything that builds up a teenage life gets stripped from her." (I apologize for practically changing your whole sentence. I think it sounds better this way.)
"She may has well..." - 'has' should be replaced by 'have'. I also wonder why the description is in present tense while the story is in past tense. (3/5)
Vocabulary: I have nothing to say. (5/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
Enjoyment: I love your story, especially since Taeyeon's personality is just awesome. Please keep her as strong as she is :) I have subscribed to your story since I am rather interested to know what will happen next. So far, I am definitely enjoying your story. (8/10)

Total: 79/100 //B (+)
Additional comments: I think that you have been deducted most points at the title and it really is not worth it. I actually find most people liking titles with one word since they are catchy, but I guess my preferences are different. This review may not be 100% accurate since your story is still ongoing, so feel free to request another review when your story is completed! Thanks for requesting, and do not forget to follow all the rules.


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