common ground by pominizz



 

Criticism Level: 10

Title: 4/5
Your title is pretty unique. It's doesn't stand out too much, but it make people curious of the meaning behind 'common ground'. It is relatively relevant but it doesn't really reveals enough information. But overall, I think the title is pretty good.

Description & Foreword: 8/10
Short and sweet; I like how you express your stroy into a play of words. It makes people intrigued to keep reading, to know what happen, and what do you mean by 'isn't imaginary as he think'. It makes people wonders what will happen to Jongin, does he become a crazy guy or the other person does exist? The description is not too long and not too short, it just so right.

Characters: 15/20
Jongin reminds me of the students who seems like that, unable to concentrate even they want to. People always tend to think that he is just lazy, but he has problem keeping his attention for a long time. About the mind palace, it's an original idea, it really exist in our world. People's soul wondering around when they are in coma are pretty much true too. Character development goes pretty smooth, on how he slowly getting to know his 'imaginary' acquaintance. Surrounding characters revolving around them are greatly suited, every role has it importance. 
On the other hand, Kyungsoo side is somewhat pitiful. He was blamed for almost uhm-everything? He just got up and the doctor frankly bombing him with questions about Jongin. And then about his parents and brothers too. But, overall, the characters are fine and the roles fit them greatly.

Plot: 15/20
The plot is realistic enough. At first, maybe poeple think that what's the big deal about a student who can't concentrate well? well, not until you introduced the Method of Loci. It totally reversed the situation. People tend to keep reading, to know what Jongin's mind palace would look like, what happens with it and how it improves his concentration. Your story is simple, but it's kinda hard to expect what happen next. It give people exciment on guessing what will happen next. The plot is realistic enough for logic's mind and it everything make sense. And it also give people lessons, to appreciate their life, to make their life better and they need to keep their mind in the real world, not wondering around that you might lose yourself.

Flow: 5/5
The story is going on a consistent pace. People can understand the story quite easy and everything fall on its place perfectly. You know how to make the story going smooth.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/15
There are some minor mistakes, but everything is alright. I like how you use the words, you have a wide vocabulary. Wide vocabulary means that there are less repeatative words in your story, and yes, there are no really repeatative words over and over again. I don't what to say anymore, but the grammars, the usage of various vocabulary, the sentence structures, almost everything is right. 

Description & Emotions: 9/10
You put a great effort on describing the scenes. Your words make it possible for readers to imagine the situation in their minds. The emotions of the characters are well conveyed, you did a briliant job with it!

Format (Graphics & Layout): 10/10
The poster is beautiful and it represents the point in the story, 'mind palace'. I like the way you put the pictures according to the title for every chapters. And the words are readable,

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I personally enjoy the story. It's beautiful and i really like your idea in using something that not all people know about it, the mind palace. Overall, it's fantastic (i'm not lying) and you really know how to make people wanting more, leaving cliff hanger.

Total: 84/100 //B (+)  
I'm not sugar-coating my comments, it's really my honest opinion and I can say that you did a damn good job on this story. I hope that you're satisfied with my review. Thank you for requesting and don't forget to follow all the rules!

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