a bend in the road of friendship by dinithij



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 6/10
Originality: I have never seen such a title before so I guess it is original. (2/2)
Relevance: It is relevant in the story but I feel like it is not the main point of the story. 'Friendship vs Reputation' may be a better fit since it is linked to your description as well. The title is also too long in my opinion. (3/4)
Attractiveness: It is not really eye-catching because friendships often break due to problems, and it is rather vague as the readers do not know what the conflict is. (1/4)

Description & Foreword: 7/10
Relevance: It is relevant so I have nothing to say. (5/5)
Attractiveness: The description is really short and also vague. Maybe you want to add that they have been mistakened as lovers, and the question can be how that would affect their friendship, or how they would solve the problem. You may want to add a foreword so that readers will be more intrigued to read the story. The foreword can be the scene when D.O. sees 'Kaisoo' on his laptop. (2/5)

Setting: 1/5
Relevance: The setting isn't relevant, in fact, I think the whole idol background just made the story seem rather unbelievable. (1/5)

Characters: 8/20
Originality: I can't really say anything because they keep on worrying about the Kaisoo issue, hence, their characters seem like they have no personalities. (2/5)
Believability: I actually think that both Kai and D.O. are overreacting. The Kpop fandom likes to ship people together a lot, so I don't see how it would come off as a surprise that they are being shipped by fans. Also, if two people are really close with each other, some friends would tease them sometimes and usually everything ends good. Besides, I think that they are required to do fanservice on stage anyway, so they have to act somewhat intimate with each other. (6/15)

Plot: 15/25
Originality: I rarely see fanfics that are friendship-themed, so while I have seen similar plots before, I still find this story refreshing because it ended with them staying as friends. I would love to see more friendship-themed fanfics in the future because really, life isn't all about romance and love. (3/5)
Believability: I've mentioned most things in Characters: Believability. (5/10)
Theme: If we are true friends, we will stand by our friends' side no matter what happens. I've learnt quite a number of themes from this story which is a great thing! (7/10)

Flow: 9/10
Consistency: The flow is relatively okay, the ending comes a bit fast but there is nothing much to take note of. (9/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 4/10
Grammar: You need to work on your grammar. 'bend' should be capitalized since it is part of your title, and it is also a noun. Refrain from using 'Umm' because it makes the story look very unprofessional. Try to use words such as 'hesitate'. Do leave a space between your punctuations and the beginning letter of a sentence so it is easier for your readers to read. Ellipsis only has three dots '...' by the way, and the maximum you can use is six dots '... ...'. Remember your comma! (2/5)
Vocabulary: You repeat words like 'said', 'good' etc often, so you may want to use synonyms instead. There is a large room for improvement. (2/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
Enjoyment: I like the fact that it is friendship-themed because I barely see fanfics revolving around friendship. The unbelievability is really distracting though, and considering that the story is about the Kaisoo issue, my enjoyment lessens. (6/10)

Total: 56/100 //D (=)
Additional comments: I hope I have not been too harsh on this review, but I think that the story focuses way too much on the Kaisoo issue, and it is really unbelievable as well. If you choose a different storyline to work with, I am sure that it will be better. I hope my advice has helped, do keep on writing and improving! :) Thanks for requesting, please do not forget the rules.

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