vibes from the past by kaisooumma



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 4/5
I like the title as it give just enough information about the story. It's kinda simple and seems like a common use title. It fits the story perfectly, nice job on that. 
Now, about the second title you tell me, 'The Grip of Anology'. The title is pretty unique and it contain vast meaning; but it suits the story. Both of the title are nice and fit the story. You can choose either one.

Description & Foreword: 6/10
Your description is short (the new one) and it just too wide. You can narrow it down by adding some quotes from the story. One quote from Jongin and one from Kyungsoo. Use the quotes that can potray about the story at one glance. It will make your description more intriguing and attract readers to keep reading. For the foreword, i think it's okay. It not too long and not too short. Just enough.

Characters: 16/20
Jongin is the common type CEO, caring for his reputation and his hotel. But he's also the kind person that will help people in troubles. And he cares to much for Kyungsoo, the boy he only just met. He's getting married but he falls in love with other person instead. While Kyungsoo on the other hand is quite fond to his job, being a photographer. Photos and memories are important for him so he make a full use of his job, brilliant for that. But knowing Jongin change him a bit. And to be exact, he falls for him. The side characters play their roles nicely, getting along the main characters. For example, Luhan and Sehun who are taking care of Kyungsoo and always loving him. Every characters potray it's originality (in my opinion) as the types shown in this story are mostly available in our real world. Up until now, the characters actions and behaviours are believable and make sense.

Plot: 16/20
The plot up until now is realistic. It makes sense how they met, how they eventually fall for each other, and how their reltionship is so forbidden. This story is about romance, so the every scene falls in the right place. It doesn't rush too much and it isn't too slow too. Just enough; no need to rush the romance. The plot twist is quite nice. Who have thought that Jongin is already someone's fiance. Let the drama begins.

Flow: 5/5
The story flows in a consistent pace and it's going smoothly. The POV-third person view is also changing on a constant pace.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 11/15
There are some grammartical mistakes; mostly is the usage of root words and words with -ing. Throughtout the story, there is not really awkward sentences. The sentences are build nicely, good job on that. This are some of the mistakes, you can check the others for this kind of mistakes.
Being a photographer for about three years until now, gave him a profit to travel to many places for the sake of some unique and nice pictures. --- Being a photographer for nearly three years, he gain a beneficial bargain from it; he can travel to many places for the sake of some unique and outstanding pictures. 
They're something that can influence the future without need to blend itself into it. --- They're something that can influence the future without needing to blend itself into it. 
Jongin enters the elevator and presses a button that will bring him to his room at 12 floor of the hotel. --- Jongin enters the elevator and presses a button that will bring him to his room on the 12th floor of the hotel. 
But Kyungsoo's action just makes his head hardly stay, still above the water surface and more than that, he can't swimming. --- But Kyungsoo's action just makes his head hardly stay, still above the water surface and more than that, he can't swim.

Description & Emotions: 9/10
The story is descriptive enough. Readers can imagine how the event took place. The emotions are conveyed really well; readers can feel the emotion flowing throughout the story. 

Format (Graphics & Layout): 8/10
Your layout is neat and the words are readable. I like the poster, it's simple but it doesn't really convey the story (no offense to you).

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
This story is enjoyable to me. I love to read it and I'm anticipating the next update. Put in some twists here and there, and your story will turn out great.

Total: 79/100 // B(+) 
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