hand sanitiser by marmalody



Criticism Level: 8.9

Title: 5/5
Your title is unique, giclee (hand sanitizer). And as how its title is, the story is most likely talking about how this hand sanitizer can give an impact to the characters.

Description & Foreword: 9/10
The description is just enough. It doesn’t reveal too much or too little towards your story, but readers would understand what you want to do with Tao and his hand sanitizer. Even so, the addition of the trailer is quite increasing readers’ willing to read your story. But, it will be better if you add more hints on the teaser.

Characters: 20/20
For a comedy, Tao’s character is hilarious. He could really get people’s laughing by his stupidity towards germs hatred. I couldn’t even imagine if it were true. Also, the characters are stable, what I mean is that you do not change the way the characters interact or think.

Plot: 18/20
Well, you got me laughing at the first part of the story, especially when Tao was being super conscious towards germs and all, but then in the end, the comedy subdued due to the fluffy things you put into the story. Even so, Tao’s behavior was still cute and got me smiling. But somehow the ending is too simple for me. Since this is a romance comedy, a shocking twist in the end will certainly make your fiction into something more memorable.

Flow: 5/5
I found nothing wrong with the flow. It is naturally flowing as how it should be, and for a one-shot, it’s just average, not too short nor too long.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 15/15
Truthfully, this is my most favorite part and you manage to make me happy. Nothing’s wrong with the grammar. And although the choice of vocabulary is just so-so, but it indeed could make readers understand better, rather than using difficult words but cannot be digested by readers.

Description & Emotions: 10/10
Although it is a one-shot, but readers can easily catch how the main character’s feeling by the way you describe his emotion. Plus, by describing the emotion of Tao’s you have succeeded to make this story into a comedy as how you wanted it to be.

Format (Graphics & Layout): 10/10 
I’ve got nothing to complaint towards the graphic and layout as well. It’s just good. But, making the font bigger by one size will be appreciated.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5 
Telling you the truth, this is quite a funny yet fluffy story, which got me laughing in the start. Somehow, I don’t really like the ending since the comical things are lessening.

Total: 96/100 //A (*) 
Putting a more shocking twist in the end will make this fiction perfect!

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