galaxy is just my style by jangmiziwen



Criticism Level: 9.5-10

Title: 9/10
Originality: (1/2)
Relevance: (4/4)
Attractiveness: (4/4)

Description & Foreword: 10/10
Relevance: (5/5)
Attractiveness: (5/5)

Setting: 5/5
Relevance: There is nothing wrong there. It is a request shop. (5/5)

Characters: 18/20
Originality: Other than Kris, the characters seem fine. (4/5)
Believability: They are pretty believable. (14/15)

Plot: 24.5/25
Originality: There is one story about the current SM and Kris's situation and it's like you have just explained the entire situation. (4.5/5) Believability: I'm serious. (10/10)
Theme: Each story has a pretty good theme. (10/10)

Flow: 9.5/10
Consistency: It's good but not that good just yet. Keep working on it and you'll be great. (9.5/10)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 3/10
Grammar:
'your' is used for things like 'your bag' or 'your mom', 'you're' stands for 'you are', such as 'you are this person'.
'Hay' should be 'Hey'.
'pitting' is 'pitying'.
It's not 'summersault', it's 'somersault'.
'devise' shouldn't be used for 'electronic devices'.
'breath in' is 'breathe in'.
It's instragram.
You do not say 'centered' or 'cent' if you are describing smell. Instead, it should be 'scented' and 'scent'.
There is no such thing as 'bobble earings' but there is 'bubble earrings'.
It is not 'bight', it is 'bite'. 'weight' is not 'wight'.
There is no such thing as 'ketch'. If it's ketchup, it's acceptable but 'ketch up' is like you're trying to pull a gretchen with fetch. It is caught up. (1/5)
Vocabulary: 'People who can thee how awesome', I think what you're looking for is 'see'.
'got out', I believe it is 'get out'.
'I sleep through most of the one legged flight', I think what you're looking for is 'I slept through most of the time of the flight'. (2/5)

Overall Enjoyment: 5/10
Enjoyment: I got really frustrated at all the errors so I couldn't really enjoy myself. (5/10)

Total: 83/100 //B (+)
Additional comments: One question. What is 'huph'? Also, you should be really careful with sentencing and grammar. If you aren't so sure, google it.

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