She hastily left the restaurant, dazed and utterly confused. She could not have fathomed what she had done. She had done the unthinkable.

A wise man once said that the depths of a human being’s character only reveal itself when one faces a moral dilemma. The decisions one make on this crossroad of his life determines his or her strength of character --- the density of his moral fibre.

Kim was now on her own crossroads. She had to make the choice. TO say that the choices were clear and distinct would be an understatement. IT was the most complex decision she has ever made in her life. The reason for that was she’s not making the decision just for herself. She has to take into account the feelings of all the party involved, namely: Herself, Gerald and Thomas.

These were her choices...

First, to tell Matthew the truth --- that Thomas was indeed his son. Kim knew Matt had the right to know. Whether or not she was the right person to tell him, it doesn’t matter. It was the right thing to do. Being the morally just person that she was, Kim thought that she might not be able to live with herself if she would not tell Matt of what she knew. Her conscience will eat her to death if she was not to tell him. But, could she bear the consequences? IF she did tell Matt and Gerald learns about it, that’ll be the end of any relationship she was hoping to have with him. Matt will then take Thomas away. If that happens, it will surely be the biggest blow to Gerald. He will lose the only touchstone he had all these years. Thomas’ loss was the one thing Gerald feared the most.

The second choice was to keep the truth from Matt. Kim has to deny everything. Matt, of course, will not know of his son’s real identity. Thomas and Gerald will know no better of what she did. Everybody will be happy. The father and son will stay happy with one another. She can then continue with where she has left off with Gerald. They can resume the whirlwind love affair that they have. But, it was just the wrong thing to do. First, could she live with the knowledge of Thomas’ true identity and not tell anyone about it? Will she be able to stand not looking at Thomas differently? Say, they became a real family. Could Kim trust herself to keep this secret from Thomas for many years to come? Will she be able to live with this guilt for a long time? Yes, she will be with Gerald and Thomas...but how can their relationship last if it its fundamental basis is a lie?

Kim’s two choices. Each has its own merits and consequences. Complex as it was, everything boils down to this: Tell Matt the truth, she will lose Gerald and Thomas forever. Deny the knowledge from Matt, then it will mean a lifetime of guilt for her.
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The cab has finally reached the mansion. At this point, Kim was a mess. Guilt was consuming her relentlessly. Tears were streaming down her face. What has she done?!
She was met at the door by Thomas, who immediately hugged her. Kim hastily composed herself and wiped away the stubborn tears.

“Mommy, you’re back!” Thomas squealed.

“Yes, honey, mommy went out for a walk...” Kim said, hugging the little boy back.

Gerald came out next, with Lilly in tow.

“Where have you been?” asked Gerald. “We’ve been ringing your cellphone all day long!”

“Ummm...I was just out with a friend...” Kim lied. Her heart suddenly thudded. She was one of those persons that despises being untruthful.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls...” Gerald said.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you guys called that many times. My phone was on silent...” Kim reasoned.

Gerald moved closer and gave Kim a quick peck on the cheeks. She wanted to move away but Gerald held on her shoulders.

“We were all worried... ” Gerald said with a sly smile. “We thought you ran away from us permanently...”

Kim was silent. She didn’t know how to react.

“Kim, please, don’t ever run away from us like that again,” said Gerald. “We almost lost our minds calling all the possible places you could have gone to...an hour more, we would have gone to the police.”

“Hey, I wasn’t gone for too long....” said Kim. “Besides, I told Lilly where I was going! I told her I was going to be at the Blue Room...with an old friend...”

“Yeah, trust a sleepy eight-year-old to remember your itinerary!” Gerald said sarcastically.

Kim immediately felt awful for leaving hastily that afternoon. She almost regretted having done it. Especially thinking of what she has accomplished with her meeting with Matt, she cringed at how poorly she handled the situation. She was rash and emotional. Now, she got herself in more trouble than ever before.

Kim bent down and saw Thomas pouting his lips at her.

“Are you upset with Mommy, Tommy?” said Kim.
Thomas readily shook his head.

“Ate, Thomas would not stop crying earlier!” reported Lilly.

A healthy tear escaped Kim’s eyes. She hastily swiped it off, then she smiled at Thomas who was now squirming uncomfortably from the attention.

“Yeah, he was quite inconsolable...” Gerald seconded Lilly.

Kim crouched and pulled Thomas closer.

“Honey, did you think Mommy was going to go away without saying goodbye?” said Kim.

Thomas nodded, his eyes misty. Kim then held him close in one swift motion.

“Tommy, I promise, that is never going to happen. Not now, not ever...” said Kim sombrely.

“Pinky promise?” Thomas said, holding out a finger.

“Pinky promise...” Kim said, hooking her finger with his.

Thomas flashed her a poignant smile and then hugged her once more. Kim was really struggling not to cry. But, as Thomas laid his arms around her neck, Kim felt all notion of strength dissipate from her. That was when she crumbled and succumbed to her heartaches.

Kim really loved Thomas now like he was her own. She was at this stage wherein she even felt his longing and his pain. Call it maternal sense, but that was what Kim was feeling. Kim even felt that there was this sense of need from his embrace --- an uncanny sense of urgency. It was if he knew her time with him is short.

Kim knew that the decisions she made earlier will truly have a direct effect on Thomas’ future. What if she had chosen wrong? When he’s older will he blame her for that? What if she chose differently from what she did tonight, what will it mean for Thomas? What if despite her efforts to protect him, he still end up getting hurt? What will she do then? Kim cringed at the thought of hurting Thomas. Never was it her intention to hurt him. But, what in her effort to save herself, she has unwittingly put Thomas’ emotions on the line? Will Gerald shun her away? That she wouldn’t be able to bear too...

Kim blocked the thousands of questions circling in her mind. They hounded her like a vulture. The moment she felt weak, such thoughts scourged her mind once more. The relentless nature of these conscientious thoughts made Kim weep in frustration.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” asked Thomas.

“This is nothing, baby,” answered Kim. “Mommy is just happy she was able to come back home...before it was over....”

“Over for what?” Gerald said, as he eyed her oddly.

“Uhmmm....Christmas, what else? With the traffic really bad outside...I never thought I’d be here before midnight.” Kim lied once more.

At this point, Kim was really getting very livid with herself. How many lies has she unleashed today? What bothered her is how easily she lied to them? She never knew she has this capacity to be untruthful. Her judgement must truly be skewed at this point....

“Traffic?” Gerald repeated.

“Yes, all throughout EDSA...” Kim said.

“Oh, is that right?” said Gerald. “Maybe, it’s about time everyone dresses up. We shouldn’t be late for the midnight mass!”

“That’s right,” Kim agreed with a sigh. “Come on, you two. Let’s dress up...”

The kids readily ran inside the house. Gerald gave Kim a naughty wink as she led the kids upstairs to change.

As he watched Kim walk up the stairs, Gerald thought of how lucky he was to be with her. She was the most perfect woman in the world. She was kind, sweet and caring...not to mention, breathtakingly beautiful. She also was so loving as no person could ever be. These last few days, he has proven that. He can see that she really loves Thomas too. God knows how much he loved her in return.

Kim waved at him on top of the stairs. Gerald contemplated the depth of his emotion for her. His heart only sings her name. She fills every empty gap in his mind, body and soul. She was his soul mate and his pre-imminent match. He smiled giddily at how much he loved her! He wanted to shout to all of the world how much she meant to him.

He was that crazy in love.

Gerald looked brightly into his imminent future. He can only see happiness from now own. With Kim around, his world was filled with every beautiful thing. It’s like that song, “La vie en rose...” Everything in his life was now rosy.... and pretty. She had Kim to thank for that. He can even say now that he is completely cured of his malady.

Maybe, he could finally put his old title to rest. For now, he is the Happiest Man in the World.

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The Christmas eve mass they went to was as solemn as it can be. As the youthful voices of the choir filled the evening air with sublime renditions of Christmas carols, Kim was still bothered by her thoughts. Masses as solemn and revered as this, is not a place for sinners like her.

It made Kim a little happy that she was sitting beside Gerald, holding his hand before God... She looked down on Thomas, whose eyes are half-shut from boredom. They were like a family. But, Kim was guilty of breaking their trust. She felt like a real fraud. As she met the accusing gaze of the holy image of the child Jesus, Kim could not help but cry.

Noticing that she was somewhat flustered, Gerald d for her hand and squeezed it. Kim smiled warmly at him. Her lips quivered at the thought that if only he knew of what she had done.

Soon enough, the priest announced that it was time to give each other the sign of peace. Numb as she was, she allowed Gerald to kiss her on the cheeks. She bent down to kiss Thomas and Lilly. Kisses and wishes happily went around the four of them.

Kim even overheard the lady behind them say, “What a cute family!”

If only they knew how much trouble she went through for them...

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At about midnight, the four of them gathered in front of the big Christmas tree. Thomas and Lilly excitedly surveyed the colourful array of presents on the floor. The two kids scoured the pile for the gifts that had their names on.

Soon enough, pieces of wrapping paper were strewn all over the floor.

“Ate, look! Kuya Gerald gave me a fairy princess Barbie! Just like what I wanted!” exclaimed Lilly.

“What will you say then?” Kim said, giving her younger sister a telling look.

“Thank you, Kuya!” said Lilly to Gerald.

Kim then flashed Gerald a look that says, “You shouldn’t have!”

Gerald just shrugged his shoulders.

All of a sudden, Thomas was heard squealing.

“Wow! This for me! IT has my name on it!” said Thomas, revealing the name on the box. Since he doesn’t know how to properly spell his name yet, he knew it was his present if there was the letter “T” on the box. His was the only name that has the letter T.

“That is from me, sweetie!” said Kim.

“Really, mommy Kim?” said the astounded Thomas.

Thomas proceeded into unwrapping Kim’s gift. His eyes widened as he saw a collection of dye-cast cars. He held on the gift like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Wow, cars! I love cars!” squealed Thomas, jumping up and down.

“Thomas, don’t forget to say thank you...” reminded Gerald.

“Thank you, mommy Kim,” said Thomas. He then quickly stood up and gave Kim a hug. “These are my new favourites...”

“You’re welcome, honey!” said Kim while reciprocating his squeeze.

The next thing Kim knew, Gerald ushered in a sizeable package in bright red wrapping. Lilly almost fainted in delight. Kim gave him this curious look.

“Wow, ate! You have the biggest gift of all!” screamed Lilly.

Kim could not believe her eyes too. The box was huge. Gerald had to roll it in. Kim wondered what was inside. The box alone could easily fit both Thomas and Lilly inside it and with some wiggle room too.

“What is it?” Kim asked.

“Well, you have to open it to know ...” said Gerald with a sly grin.

Kim flashed him an excited smile and started attacking the present. She hastily tore the wrapping away. TO her dismay, beneath layers of paper, there lay a smaller gift-wrapped box. Kim took it out. She gave Gerald another enquiring look. This time, he could barely contain his giggle. Even Thomas had this smirk about him.

Kim speedily opened the second box only to find out that there were more paper wrapping inside it. She pensively dug inside the box, finally unearthing another smaller brightly coloured box. This time Kim knew it was a game that she had to play. She gave Gerald and Thomas a wry smile as she opened the third box, which was now like a shoebox in size. Inside it was more paper and a small package the size of a couple matchboxes.

She once again looked at Gerald for some reassurance. Gerald, this time, gave her a warm, loving smile. Kim looked down on the gift in her trembling hands. She held her breath as she excitedly opened it. What was inside was a small, red velvet jewellery box.

Kim nervously opened the small, delicate purse. IT was quite a task as her hands were trembling terribly. Once opened, she gasped at what she saw...

IT was a platinum ring, riddled with tiny, sparkly diamonds. At this point, Kim was at a loss for words.

“Look, Thomas, it’s a ring!” Lilly said.

“Wow, Mommy Kim, daddy gave you a ring...” Thomas answered.

“That means you guys are getting married!” shouted Lilly with glee.

Gerald laughed and chided the two excitable kids down. Kim was still staring at the precious ring.

“IT’s not that kind of a ring, kids. That’s not an engagement ring...at least, not yet. That is what we call a promise ring...” said Gerald.

“Promise ring?” repeated Lilly.

Kim finally looked up at Gerald. Her face still confused.

“Well, promise rings are given to people who you want to promise something with. I gave that to your Ate, Lilly, to promise her that I will always remain true to her,” said Gerald, looking straight into Kim’s eyes. “And that’s what we’ll always be...true to each other.”

Gerald’s last statement hit Kim like a ton of bricks. She flinched rather uncomfortably. She looked down on the ring. She didn’t deserve it. Kim closed the box and turned to face Gerald.

“I can’t accept this...” Kim murmured.

Gerald swiftly moved beside her and held her hand, “Why not, honey?”

“IT’s too expensive...” Kim reasoned.

“Kim, its price is of no value to me.” Gerald answered. “But, if you accept it, it will be way more valuable to me than it’s ever going to be worth for...”

Kim struggled to choke back her tears. What has she done to deserve him? Here he was, loving her like she was the most precious thing in the world. What has she done to repay him? She almost ruined his perfect life. . And now, he gives her this diamond ring... Kim felt weak from the irony of it all.

With gingered hands, she slipped the ring into her finger. It was perfect. Gerald beamed proudly at her as she wore it. Her heart glowed as he squeezed her hand. He knelt down and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Maybe for now she can be happy. But, Kim knows her time with him is up. If she in the morning, will be facing the reality of her consequences, let this night be the last night in the world.

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"How did the wedding go?" Kim askin him about their trip. She then gracefully slipped on the bed beside him.

"It was such a farce!" Gerald answered.

"Why, what happened?" asked Kim.

"The bride ran away with the chef!" Gerald revealed.

"Wow, that is sad..." Kim commented.

"It will be sadder if she and Jake ended up with each other, right?"

"I guess..." said Kim.

"They were not meant to be, that's the thing..." added Gerald.

"I guess you're right..."

"Whereas we...we are meant to be..." said Gerald affectionately.

He then took his shirt off. He looked at Kim naughtily.

"Now, enough of the talking. This is my real present..."

Kim smiled back at him.

"Merry Christmas..." Kim managed to say as Gerald swooped down to kiss her.

They shared a ruptured experience once more that fateful Christmas night. Kim, with reckless abandon, gave herself freely to his tumultuous desires.

Hours later, she lay in his bed, crying. He was asleep beside her, oblivious to her pain. Kim slowly brushed her tears away as she remembered what transpired in the restaurant earlier...

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“Kim who told you Thomas was my kid?” Matt asked once more. His hand gripped the tablecloth firmly.

Kim’s mind raced.

“Anna...” Kim answered.

“Anna? But that couldn’t be!” said Matt. “it wasn’t what they said...”

Kim slowly recounted what she saw earlier that afternoon. She told him about the taped conversation between Anna and Gerald.

Matt laid back as Kim revealed to him what she saw in the video. He looked at her. She was as innocent and beautiful as can be. Her naivete was so genuine, it made him think of why he let her go. He imagined what his life would be if he had continued his relationship with her. What if he got back with her?

He didn’t even quite hear most of what she had said.

“So, that is when I decided to tell you...” Kim finished her account.

“Why are you suddenly interested in me and Anna?” asked Matt.

Kim couldn’t answer him straight-face. How can you tell your ex-boyfriend that you are in love with the boyfriend of the girl he had an affair with? The complexity of their relations was so staggering, it might be best not mentioned.

Matt then saw that same confused look in Kim’s eye. He easily inferred, “Oh my God, Kim, don’t tell me you are dating that son of a ?”

Kim can only nod.

“What do you see in him, Kim?” said Matt mockingly. “The guy is a loser...”

Kim seethed in silence. The nerve of this guy. Next to Gerald, he will look like a slob. What made him suggest he was a far better catch than Gerald? Matt has always been so full of himself, Kim thought. He never changed.

“What will you do now?” said Kim. “Knowing that Thomas was yours...”

“I don’t know...” said Matt. “The thought never entered my mind. Imagine me, having a kid? It’s so surreal. I mean, Anna said she was sure he wasn’t mine. They even had...”

“I will ask you a big favour, Matt...” Kim said.

“What?”

“I will do anything for you,” Kim asked. “Just leave Thomas alone with Gerald...”

“Why should I?” answered Matt. “If he is really my kid, why would I leave him in the care of that manipulative bastard?”

Kim started to cry.

“Please, Matt...Thomas is happy...” cried Kim. “He is happy with his dad...”

“Like you said, he isn’t his kid...” Matt rebutted. “He is mine, right?”

“Please, Matt, Gerald is taking good care of him,” said Kim. “Think of how better of a father he is than you’ll ever be...you love your life as it is, you’re not ready to take care of him.”

“How do you know?” challenged Matt.

Kim thought her world collapsed around her. This was what she feared the most.

“Please Matt, don’t do it...” Kim begged.

“You’re just stopping me because you’re guilty.” said Matt.

Kim’s heart pounded. She needed an escape plan. She immediately thought of a daring plan.

“Please don’t meddle in my business, Matt!” said Kim, her eyes stern.

“Business?”

“Him...he is my business...”Kim said with renewed fire.

“Interesting...” said Matt mockingly. “Care to explain Kim?”

That was when Kim told the biggest lie she ever could conjure. She just hoped that the simple-minded Matt would simply soup it up and believe every word she says.

“I came here this afternoon to tell you of the secret I found out from all the snooping I was doing,” said Kim. “I met Gerald through a friend. Knowing how rich he was, I decided to make a play on him. These past few weeks I’ve been doing some digging. Something that I could find useful for my plans...”

“Plans?” Matt echoed.

“Yes, plans to extort him...” said Kim.

Matt laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe his ears. The sweet, trembling Kim in front of him, an extorter? What was she thinking now?

“If you are extorting him, then why did you come here and tell me he is my son, then come beg me later to not get him away from him? You’re a lousy liar, Kim!”

Matt in his heart knew she wasn’t not telling the truth. What he was struggling to understand was why she was doing it.

“No, listen to me...” begged Kim. “I was trying to hatch a deal with you. I wanted you to confront him with the knowledge that you really are Thomas’ father. Then after we get the cash, we leave them alone...”

“That is preposterous!” said Matt. “Me, extorting Gerald Garcia?”

“What is wrong with that?” Kim said half-heartedly.

Kim knew her weak story had no chance of keeping Matt away from taking Thomas, but she had to try something. She was hoping that, ridiculous as her white lie may have sounded, he would at least buy into it and leave them be. She was wrong. Not only did he not believe her, he was now more interested than ever.

“Everything, Kim...” said Matt. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with. You must be out of your mind...”

“I needed the cash, Matt,” reasoned Kim.

Matt laughed devilishly once more. He did it so loud that other guests started to look strangely at them.

“Why are you doing this, Kim?” asked Matt. “Why are you doing this for him?”

“Doing what?” asked Kim.

“Making a fool of yourself...” answered Matt.

Kim knew deep inside that Matt didn’t buy her story one bit. Now, God knows what he’ll do? Kim couldn’t begin to imagine how she’ll face Gerald once he knew what she told Matt.

“Please Matt,” said Kim. “Don’t do what you intend to do...”

“I hate the guy, Kim...” answered Matt. “He ruined Anna. He ruined me. All these years I’ve been looking for a way to get back at him. Here you are with the perfect weapon against him. What do you expect me to do? ”

“Please Matt...I’ll do anything...” cried Kim. “Just leave them be...”

“You must really love that son of a ...” said Matt.

“I do...” replied Kim.

Matt sighed. This time he believed her. She really loved him. All he needed to do, was to look into her eyes and he knew.

“You’re not a liar Kim...” said Matt. “You’ve never been one and I’d never thought you’d ever be. It just saddens me that you have to sink this low for him...”

“I love him...” said Kim. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him.”

Matt looked at Kim with much pity. She was totally in love with Gerald Garcia. TO one side, he is happy for her that she found somebody else to love. IT just makes him sad that she loved the wrong person. How she was defending him at her own expense made Matt sad. Matt looked back at the relationship that she had with Kim. Even if he had cheated on her several times before, he never made it a point that Kim would ever feel this helpless. He would never allow her to degrade herself like this. She was wrong for Gerald. He doesn’t deserve Kim.

“I promise I’d leave them alone....I’d stay away forever....if you promise me one thing, Kim...” said Matt.

“What?” said Kim, her swollen eyes, still streaming with tears.

“I want you to break up with him...” Matt said, unflinching in his robust stance.

“What?” exclaimed Kim. “I can’t do that!”

“He is no good for you, Kim...” said Matt. “You’re better off without him.”

“How can you say that?” said Kim, clenching her fist.

“Trust me, Kim,” answered Matt. “ I know the guy...”

“Please, Matt...I’ll do anything else...”

“That is my condition, Kim. Think of it as a favour...” said Matt confidently.

Kim wept heavily. Matt’s heart went out for her. But what Matt knew, Kim needed to be away from him. The sooner that she does it, the better. That kind of obsessive love will only lead to heartbreak...or even death. Just like what happened to Anna.

“Now, remember, if I ever discover that you are still seeing him...trust me, I’m coming in as fast as I can with all the legal papers in hand...not only will I take away, Thomas...I’ll make sure his sorry will rot in jail...”

“No, Matt, please...” said Kim.

“Sorry, Kim...” said Matt. “In as much as this is about you and Anna, this time, it’s between me and him...and I’ll cherish the day that he will pay for all of his sins...”

With that, Matt stood up, gave her a wry smile and left the restaurant.

Kim remained seated and deeply astounded. What had she done now? It was as if she was the precursor to the apocalypse. Her little escapade had brought about a chain reaction that could ruin all that was beautiful in her life. She may have chosen the wrong path. She instead chose the path to her own destruction.

Seeing her cry her eyes out, the bald waiter then came forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. Kim looked up at him with her morose eyes.

“Things will get better, my dear...” said Andres. “Trust me...things will get better...”

Kim deeply wished he was right.

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Gerald woke up the next morning with the memory of Kim’s lips on his. He replayed the wondrous images of their lovemaking the previous night. He smiled at the knowledge of how he pleasured her and how she pleasured him in return.

But when he fully opened his eyes, it was Thomas sad face that greeted him.

“Good morning, squirt...” Gerald smiled at him. “Why so sad this early?”

“Mommy Kim and Lilly...” said Thomas, his eyes were red, like he had been crying for hours. “They’re gone...”

Gerald immediately turned over to feel the empty space beside him. His heart almost fell to the floor.

He then saw the promise ring he gave her on the bedside table. It looked lonely, sitting there by itself...

Gerald snatched it and held it close to his heart. She didn't keep her promise. Somehow, even Thomas knows she was not coming back.

KIM was indeed...GONE...for real.

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Sorry for the late update. I really struggled writing this chapter. I went through several revisions. I wanted it to be a character study...gusto ko ma-reveal all the possible emotions each of the characters are going through. Hope I have achieved that. I also would like to present this idea of Kim going through a moral dillema ....where her choices were not that clear-cut. HOpe it was as suspenseful as I intended it to be....thanks for all those who are reading....salamat po talaga...reg!

More twists to come.