CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Blue Room
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The past had finally caught up with Kimberly Tuazon. Unfortunately, it came to her like a sudden blast of cold, brash reality. Kim nervously entered her familiar surroundings --- a site where seemingly the most significant events in her life had lately come into fruition, the Blue Room.

“Oh, it’s you again...” greeted an elderly, bald waiter as she entered the restaurant. “Good to have you back, mademoiselle...good to have you back...”

Kim looked at him oddly. She didn’t know him at all but he looked familiar though. Maybe she had been to this restaurant often enough that senior attendants recognized her already. Or maybe because, they had seen her dining with their boss a couple days back, he deemed it right to afford her some preferential treatment.

“Can I offer the lady a seat?” the bald waiter asked.

“Table for two, please...” Kim answered.

The attendant nodded and immediately led her to a cozy table by the corner.

“Can I get your order now, ma’am?” said the waiter as Kim settled on her seat.

“Uhmm, I’m waiting for somebody...” Kim said.

“Maybe some wine to start off then?” suggested the waiter.

“Probably a good idea,” said Kim glumly.

“Can I suggest something?” said Andres ( as Kim confirmed his name from his name plate).

“Yes, please...”

“You look lost, mademoiselle. Maybe...red wine is in order tonight...I suggest a Merlot...” said Andres, his eyes peering at her perturbed appearance.

Normally, she would snap back at him for suggesting that she looked lost, but she found his quip to be more a concern rather than offensive.

“Okay then, Merlot it is...” Kim said curtly.

“Good choice...” said the waiter, which Kim thought was ironic since it was him who suggested it. “I’ll be right back quickly with it.”

Kim’s thoughts then went back to her business at hand. Her heart pounded as she waited for her companion. Little hairs from the back of her neck stood up as she thought of what had transpired earlier. Her chance discovery that particular afternoon weighed heavily on her conscience. Obviously, she wasn’t meant to know about it. IT was definitely none of her business. Like Pandora, she had unwillingly opened the box that unleashed all that was rotten and evil to the world...and like her, Kim was desperately trying to fix and make sense of all that she had done wrong.

Kim fidgeted with the glass of water on her table as her nervousness had grown considerably by the minute. She looked at her watch...it was already 5:10 p.m. He was late as usual. His absence made Kim think about certain events that transpired years before.

The images in her mind were as clear as ever.
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The scene happened in the same room where they broke up three years ago...in fact, it was in the same place where she was sitting now.

But, what haunting montages Kim was thinking was from a couple years before that dreaded break-up.

It was December 15, 2003. Five years from today. It was the day she first met Anne...and the day she first met him, Gerald.

Kim remembered the day clearly. She was barely seventeen at that time. What she didn’t realize though, was how significant such event was going to play in their lives now.

It was her and Matt’s first big anniversary date. Matt was so proud back then at the fact that he had finally taken her out some place nice to eat. The Blue Room, the newly built restaurant was the talk of the town. It was so hard to book a reservation.

“Wow, how did you able to book this place?” Kim eyes widened as they settled on their seat.

“I wanted to make it really special for us, Kim...” Matt answered, grinning widely like the 19-year-old that he was.

“IT’s really nice in here...” Kim said as her eyes roamed around the opulently decorated surroundings. “I hope you didn’t blow your savings into this date!”

“Kimmy, this is our second anniversary,” said Matt. “It’s one special occasion that deserves a little bit of extra spending.”

Kim smiled back at him. At that moment, she felt like she was the most special girl in the world.

A waiter named Andres suddenly came in with their main course. HE also served them some non-alcoholic sparklers.

“Happy Anniversary!” Matt greeted as he raised his glass.

“Happy Anniversary,” Kim greeted back.

Matt then placed his hand over hers. He then met her gaze in all seriousness.

“I love you, Kim...” he said without trepidation.

“I love you too, Matt...” Kim said as she smiled back at him.

“Since this is our second anniversary, maybe it’s time we take our relationship to the next level,” Matt said, leaning back to his chair confidently.

“And what level is that?” Kim asked.

“You know...” he said mischievously. “I have a hotel room booked for us tonight. That is if...you agree...”

“I thought we had already talked about this before,” Kim protested.

“But Kim, I’ve been waiting for two years...” Matt pleaded. “It’s about time we prove to one another how much we love each other!”

“Matt, it’s not that I don’t love you...” Kim answered. “But, what if something happens...my mom will surely kill me...”

“Nothing happens on the first time, Kim!” regaled Matt. “Right now, I’m starting to think you don’t really love me, Kim!”

“But I do...” Kim said softly.

“Then prove it!” Matt said sternly. “Go to the hotel with me tonight!”

Kim’s mind swirled with varying emotions. She loved him but she feared the possible consequences of what he was suggesting. She didn’t think she was ready emotionally to undergo with it. She was terribly confused.

“Well?” Matt eyed her impatiently.

“I can’t, Matt...” said Kim.

Then, his face contorted. He groaned endlessly. Something caught his attention.

Suddenly, Matt’s face turned really pale as a family of six sat on the round table to the right of them. There were two sets of elderly couple, very affluent based on how they carried themselves. Kim guessed they were the parents of the young man and the young woman who were with them. The two youngsters sat next to each other. The angelic-looking girl looked no older than Kim and then, the tall, athletic boy was about Matt’s age.

The girl was beautiful. She was dressed simply in a simple blue dress. The young man had his back to her that she did not get a glimpse of his face; but Kim was sure he was good looking too. He had a brown jacket on which suited him like an Abercrombie model.

What fazed Kim though was Matt’s reaction to them.

“Do you know them?” asked Kim.

“I think I do...” Matt answered. “I think they own this restaurant.”

That explained it. Matt was just gushing at their wealth. Kim brushed other thoughts aside as she began to listen into the conversation from the next table. They were close enough for Kim to listen into their exchange.

“To the success of the Blue Room and to the future of my daughter and your son!” said one the elderly male.

“Salut!” said the rest of the elders.

Kim observed that despite the elderly couples’ joyous disposition, the two youngsters were in somewhat a somber mood. They didn’t speak to each other much. A whisper here or there --- not even a smile coming from the girl.

Suddenly, the young girl turned. Kim saw her crestfallen reaction as she saw Matt. Their eyes met briefly but Kim withdrew hers.

Kim immediately then reverted her gaze back at Matt, gauging his reaction. Matt suddenly looked queasy and uneasy. Beads of sweat started to appear from his brow. He met the girl’s piercing gaze once more, briefly, but suddenly turned back to Kim, smiling wryly. He then withdrew his hand from Kim’s, as if he was shocked with a mega jolt of electricity.

He then stood up and said, “I need to go to the washroom...”

Kim nodded.

Matt hurriedly made his way towards the toilets. Kim then switched her glance back to the special guests. The bald waiter was now serving them their soup. The elderly patrons were still chatting about. The young man, however, remained glum and inattentive. The girl was now a bit keyed-up unlike when she first came in the restaurant.

Kim then saw the young woman whisper something to the young man’s ear. He nodded briefly. She then gracefully stood up and excused herself from the group. Kim then followed her with her gaze as she headed towards the direction of the washrooms.

That was when Kim started to feel suspicious. Her heart pounded as she saw the young woman made a half run towards the comfort rooms...where her boyfriend was!

Kim knew in her heart that she was there to see him. Their brief eye contact with each other earlier unnerved Kim. IT was as if with that one look, they had conveyed an eternity of secret messages with one another. Kim couldn't help but feel that she had just witnessed a tryst being contrived under her nose. She felt uneasy. Her inner instincts told her to follow them.

That, she did. Kim unceremoniously downed her sparkler like it was real alcohol. She then stood up and made a beeline towards the washroom...their secret rendezvous place.

Kim tiptoed her way towards the fated toilets. The way the rooms were set-up was the most convenient for listening in. Kim found them talking animatedly outside the men’s and women’s washroom, on a small hallway that led to the johns. Kim hid herself on one of Shoji screens that was put up for design. From there, she could freely listen in. She turned her back at them, pressing her back on the partition. She couldn’t see them now, but she could definitely hear them.

“What are you doing here?” said the girl. “Who is she?”

“She is my girlfriend, Kim...” answered Matt.

“You didn’t answer my first question,” she snapped back at him. “What are you doing here with her?”

“It’s our anniversary...” Matt explained.

“Well, congratulations!” she said, quite sarcastically as Kim noted. “But why here, Matt? Of all places?”

“I don’t know Anne...” said Matt. “Maybe I was hoping I could get a chance to get a glance of you...”

That was when Kim first knew her. Anne was her name. A name she despised to this day.

“Matt, I could not do this any longer...” said Anne.

“Then, break-up with him...” Matt suggested.

Kim’s heart pounded. Her suspicious mind swam with sordid details. What was Matt’s relationship with her? Why was he giving her such advise...it was as if he was really close to her --- too conveniently close for Kim’s taste.

“I can’t, Matt!” she said.

“But why?” Matt asked and then added, “I’m here...”

“You know why I can’t, Matt!” Anne hissed.

“No, I don’t know why you are doing this!” Matt insisted.

Kim then heard Anne sigh heavily.

“Matt, we are engaged to be married...” Anne said.

For a minute or two, Matt didn’t answer her. Kim heard him breathing heavily. Her own heart was pounding as well.

“So, that’s it?” Matt answered sarcastically. “Just like that?!”

“Matt, wait...you don’t understand!” Anne replied.

It was clear to Kim that she was sobbing.

“You know what, Anne?” Matt said sternly. “You’re right, I don’t f*#king understand what’s going on on that f**king head of yours...”

“Matt, please...don’t make this harder for the two of us!” Anne replied.

All of a sudden, a tall figure in brown jacket made his way past Kim. It was so sudden that Kim didn’t even get a clear view of his face. He went directly to where Matt and Anne were. Meanwhile, Kim lamely held her cellphone to her ear, as if she was waiting for a call. She didn’t want anybody to know that she was listening in.

“What took you so long?” said the boyish figure to Anne. His voice was clear and succinct.

“Uhmm, I met an old friend...” said Anne. “This is my childhood friend, Matt Evans.”

“Gerald...” the guy in the brown, suede jacket said.

A period of silence ensued. Kim imagined the two of them in a handshake, darting each other murderous looks.

“We’re just catching up...” Anne reasoned.

Another awkward silence followed that. Neither man spoke. Kim felt the tension boring into the walls.

Anne spoke up once more, “I think it’s about time we go back to the table...”

Kim took the cue and hurriedly went back to their table. Just when she took her seat, she saw Matt hurriedly coming out of the washroom. A few seconds later, she saw Anne and Gerald come out of the washroom too. HE was holding onto Anne’s elbow firmly, Kim noticed how Anne was grimacing in pain. She was so engrossed looking at Anne’s reaction that she failed to see Gerald’s face clearly. The moment she had realized it, he had reached their table and he already had his back at her.

Now back at their table, Matt was staring at Kim. Somehow, Matt knew that she had seen or heard something. She looked too tense to be innocent.

“Kim...” Matt called her attention.

“What!?” Kim snapped back at him. She then darted him an accusing gaze. “What took you so long?”

“I saw an old friend as I was coming out of the washroom...” Matt said gingerly.

“Who? Her?” Kim said, then looking at Anne’s direction.

Matt got his confirmation. Kim must know of something. He was suddenly uneasy. “Yes, her...she used to be a neighbour of ours in San Lorenzo...”

“Former girlfriend?” Kim hinted with sarcasm.

“No...no...God, no!” Matt denied three times, like the proverbial Peter.

Kim cast him a disgusted look.

“She's just a friend...” Matt added.

LIAR.

That was the only word that was present in Kim’s mind at that time. Kim knew right then and there that he was lying, that he was keeping something from her. That solidified her decision not to trust him...not with herself.

“Really, what’s her name?” Kim said haughtily.

“Anne...Anna Maria Custodio...”he admitted.

“It’s funny you’ve never mentioned her name before...” Kim said, glancing back at the young woman behind her.

“Kimmy...maybe it’s best we get out of here...”

“Just a minute...I’m really enjoying this,” Kim said, thinking how much he deserved to squirm on his sorry . She then turned back towards the young woman, and then absentmindedly said, “Hmmm...isn't she too young?”

“Too young for what?” Matt said glumly.

“Too young...to be pregnant...” Kim said.

Matt’s jaw dropped to the floor. His face grew extremely pallid.

“No she’s not!” Matt denied.

“She is...look at her!” Kim said.

Matt gave Anne one more look. His throat became dry at the sight of the tell tale bump on her stomach.

“She can’t be...” Matt muttered inaudibly.

“Why so tense?” Kim said. “It’s not as if you’re the father of her child...or something..”

Matt shot her a murderous look.

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Back to December 24, 2008...Five years later...

Kim thought she was mature enough to handle situations like this. Coming in, she knew what to say...what to ask him. But seeing Matt in his boyish good looks striding in confidently towards her...all sense of logic left Kim. He still have that effect on her.

“Hi Kim, what a surprise...” Matt said, quickly giving her a peck on the cheek, like old friends.

Kim squirmed lightly from his kiss. They were lovers once before...but they were never friends. Such greeting was inappropriate.

Fortunately, the waiter Andres came in with a bottle of wine on hand, shifting her thoughts away from strangling him.

“Merlot, for the lady...” said Andres. “It’s Pomerol, circa 1998...one of the finest bottles that we have. It has this very clean taste, that a lot of people say it clears the head of troubled thoughts...”

“Thank you...I’d love that!” Kim said.

Andres poured a portion on her glass. “How about the gentleman?”

“Same...” Matt said briefly.

“I can suggest this other wonderful wine, sir...” the waiter candidly said.

“NO...I want the same,” Matt snapped back at him.

The bald waiter poured some of the precious wine on Matt’s glass with a heavy sigh. On his face was a look of contempt. It was if the wine was intended only for Kim and not for him. Kim smiled inwardly at the thought. Andres then turned around on his heels without even waiting for Matt’s thank you.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kim...you look great!” said Matt as she shot Kim a once over.

“Thanks, you too...” said Kim.

“How long has it been since we last saw each other?” Matt said.

“Three years...” said Kim. Actually, three years and nine days to be exact, Kim thought, but she didn’t want him to think she was counting of course.

“Wow, that long?!” Matt exclaimed.

Kim nodded. She then gave his face a long look. He was still as handsome as one can be. But, his eyes were a bit duller now... a bit tired-looking. His cheeks had sunk a bit. Even his hairline had receded slightly. He actually looked older than 22.

“You lost weight...” Kim observed.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did...” Matt said. “My new job is a bit more stressful than expected.”

“Where do you work now?” Kim curiously asked.

“Stock Exchange...I’m a broker now.”

“Okay...good job.” Kim said casually. She really wanted to say, that his new job fitted his slimy character.

“So, to what do I owe this extreme pleasure of your company?” He said in much bravado.

Kim wanted to laugh at how sleazy he looked. She was right all along. Maybe, he will never be able to strip himself of his gigolo ways.

“I just wanted to ask you a couple questions...”said Kim, leaning back on her chair.

“About what?” Matt asked. His face was suddenly worried.

“About us...” Kim said. “About the past...your past and mine...”

Matt eased off his seat. HE looked suddenly nauseous and unsettled.

“Why the need to unearth what was already buried?” Matt said cryptically.

“Call it...closure,” said Kim. “I think I deserve it...”

Matt looked at her stern face. She wasn’t the coy and shy Kim he knew before. She was now more confident and more assured of herself. Matt’s heart thumped endlessly. She was not the Kim she can easily dupe anymore. She exuded an aura of strength --- a strength that can easily obliterate his measly existence.

Matt downed his wine. It was so bold-tasting he almost choked. Perhaps, his palate was only used to the cheap booze it can’t recognize quality even it was swimming in it.

“Okay...what do you need to know?” Matt asked with a slight groan.

Kim shifted in her seat. She looked at him straight in the eye.

“Anna Maria Custodio...” she said.

Matt swallowed the lump of nervousness in his throat. Kim was now looking at him as if he was the vilest person in the world.

“What about her?” he asked, trying to avoid her gaze.

“What was she in your life?” Kim asked brazenly.

Matt paused for a second.

“My one great love...” Matt answered effortlessly.

Kim didn’t expect the response. Somehow, Kim felt a tinge of jealousy towards Anne once more. She once was Gerald’s great love. Now, she was Matt’s.

Matt saw the confusion in Kim’s eyes. He felt the need to finally come clean with what happened between Anne and him.

“You knew about us, right?” Matt asked.

“Even from before...” Kim said briefly. “I never told you but I overheard you two speaking to each other when we had our anniversary here...but I want to know everything, Matt. I need to know the whole story...”

“I don’t know where to start...” Matt said.

“Start from where you first met her...” Kim ordered.

Matt heaved a sigh. He lowered his head as he began to recount his story.

“She was my soul mate...” Matt narrated. “To this day, I believe we were meant for each other. She was our neighbour’s daughter. Our families were so close we spend vacations together. Growing up, she was the only friend I ever had. We were at each other’s houses every day...we spend all day playing...day-dreaming. You see, you asked me once when I first met her. The true answer to that is, I’ve met her all my life. She was the only girl I knew through and through. I was one of the fortunate ones to know her back when she was...happy...”

HE paused briefly. Kim saw his eyes well up.

Matt continued, “We grew so close that one day we realized we really loved each other. Her mom caught us one time in her room...kissing, fooling around. I was fourteen and she was twelve. How were we supposed to know that what we were doing was wrong? Our parents maliciously thought it was best for us to part. My mom and dad then sent me away to the States. When I came back three years later, she no longer lived across the street, but my heart still pined for her...despite the absence.”

Kim felt suddenly uncomfortable listening to his recollection. Imagine your ex-boyfriend telling you that you were not the love of his life, but this other girl. Imagine him telling you how much he loved her...more than he had loved you. Even if he was already an ex-boyfriend, it still hurts to know.

Matt continued his story, unaware of Kim’s growing pain.

“Then, I went looking for her. I found out from a friend that she now lived in Alabang and that she goes to a private school near her home. I pursued her with all my heart and my strength. Despite our parents’ stern warning, we started an illicit affair...”

Kim’s mind had shattered into a million pieces hearing him recount their renewed relationship. The time frame bothered her.

“Was...was that during the time we were together?” Kim dared ask.

“Yes...” Matt confessed.

“You mean you had us both at the same time...”

“As bad as it sounds...yes.” Matt narrated. “At one side, I really loved Anne but then the relationship had no future. Then, I met you through school...and you were...how do I say this...”

“Convenient?” Kim suggested sarcastically.

“Yes...No! How do I explain this? It’s just that with you, Kim, I felt I didn’t have to struggle much. With you, I was comfortable...swimming against the tide all the time is tiring...like in her case...” Matt said.

She was...comfortable? Kim felt like slapping him on the face. But, she let him continue.

“I learned in time that she was being arranged with this other guy. He was rich as rich can be. I have no match for him. I tried to pry myself from her...I tried to free myself from her and her miserable family. That’s was when I met you. But, in time, Anne grew very insistent. She wanted to be with me. She said she didn’t love him. Of course, she knew about you, but it was okay with her. I learned also from her that she agreed to be his girlfriend too. IT’s like we were even. She had him and I had you. Yet, despite of that, we continued our secret meetings...our secret love affair...”

Kim felt numb. She didn’t know what to make out of her confused feelings.

“The next thing I knew she got pregnant by him and got married. I begged her not to do it but she insisted. She broke up with me so suddenly. I was miserable for months after that. You knew what I’ve been like back during those days, right? Her absence confirmed how much I had loved her and how much I wanted to be with her. A year or so later, she called me. She said she wasn’t happy in their relationship. She said he didn’t truly love her. So, despite of her having a new family, we began seeing each other once more...”

Kim was finally beginning to understand. Even then, it was clear as day that it had always been supposed to be Matt and Anne. She and Gerald were the villains in their love story. They were the protagonists. She and Gerald...the contravidas.

“How about me, Matt? Did you truly ever love me?” Kim interrupted.

“Of course I did, Kim. IN the years we were together, I learned to love you. One day, Anne asked me to choose between her and you. I chose you...”

Kim felt a big lump on . She was sorry for asking that question.

“Then, after that, she got really crazy and threatened to hurt herself over and over again. I got scared. That was why I was forced to break up with you, even it was against my heart. She wanted me to go away to Hawaii with her.”

Kim nodded absent-mindedly. Matt, meanwhile was already teary-eyed. His account of Anne’s story grew heavily with each word.

Matt continued, “But right about when we were about to move away, I got cold feet. I couldn’t bear the thought of being responsible for her. She was so mentally and emotionally broken that I didn’t think I was mature enough to handle her. I told her I decided to stay with you. I told her I still loved you, which was the truth. But, I used that as an excuse to get away from her. Kim, I was weak, I was a coward...to this day, God knows, how I regretted leaving her to deal with everything by herself. I flew away to America that night. After a few days, I learned of what had happened to her. Kim, it was the biggest of the mistake of my life... and she paid dearly for it!”

Matt then totally broke down. Kim never expected to feel sorry for him but she did. She enveloped his trembling hand with hers.

“I’m sorry...” Matt said in between tears.

Kim didn’t feel his apologies were intended for her. It felt like it belonged to Anne.

Kim thoughts reverberated with his latest confessions. Matt told Anne that he still loved Kim. That led to Anne’s despair and ultimately to her death. That made Kim an accomplice to her death. She was partially responsible for her death. For one she was a murderer. And by simple logic too, she was responsible for Gerald’s sadness to begin with. She was the one who was to blame for his sadness. And the thought that bothered her most was, she was responsible for Thomas losing his dear mommy. He was an orphan because of Matt’s love for her. She was responsible for everything foul thing that ever happened! She was a woman deserving of scorn.

Kim truly felt guilty. Tears started to sting her eyes. She had never felt this low in her life before. A thought then crossed Kim’s mind.

“But why, Matt? Why did you choose me over them?” said Kim.

“Over THEM?” said Matt.

“You know, Anne and Thomas?” said Kim, candidly. “What kind of a father chooses his lover over his OWN child?”

“Whoa...what are you talking about?” said Matt in rapid succession. “Who’s Thomas? Who’s child are we talking about?”

“You mean...” Kim said gingerly. “You mean you didn’t know he was your child?”

“Me and Anne...have a child?!” bellowed Matt incredulously. “Yes, I know she got pregnant...but she told me it wasn’t mine. Wait...you mean to say...”

Kim was all of a sudden numb. Her lips trembled...her hands shook.

“Kim, is Thomas my child?” Matt said, eyes aplomb. “Kim, please, who told you he was mine?”

Kim didn’t answer. This was turning out to be one big “OOOPSIE” moment for her. Kim bit her lower lip to keep it from quivering further. Her eyes started to flow with even more guilty tears.

Anne, by virtue of her virtual self, revealed to Kim that Gerald wasn’t Thomas’ father. Logic suggests that Matt was. Little did Kim know that Matt had no clue about it. That meant, for some reason or another, Anne conveniently held that information from Matt. So did, Gerald.

Now, Kim had unintentionally let the cat slip out of the bag. How was she going to explain herself now? How will she explain to Gerald how Matt knew of the very secret he never wanted anyone to find out --- the one secret his wife, Anne, took to her grave.

Kim was absolutely mortified. It was one of those days where you can just slap your head and say, “...me and my big mouth!”

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I would like to apologize to everyone for the late update. Hindi ko sinadsadyang bitinin kayo. I came home from my new year trip early and had a family emergency that I had to attend to. So, that's that. Thanks for the never-ending support. Hope you guys liked it....couple more chapters and we're done. On to the next story.

REG