Chapter 22

I couldn't fall asleep right away because all I could think of was the competition and how Minhyuk will be part of it. Myungsoo will be participating too. It hurt to think of him and I don't know how long this feeling will stay but I hoped not too long. Who will be my replacement in the competition? Somebody I know? Somebody who fights way better than me? Right now the only thing I should fight is my cancer.

With that I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up exact the same moment a nurse exited. On my night-stand stood my breakfast. I didn't feel hungry at all. For the sake of the people who care about me and my state I ate. Not much, but at least I ate something.

After I took about 10 tiny bites of the bread I put it away and a drama. If in love like them it was called and I never saw or even heard of it before, so I decided to watch it. After two episodes my eyes hurt and it was too sad for me to continue watching right now. I turned the drama off and plugged in my ear-studs and listened to music. I closed my eyes and just laid there. I didn't notice how much time has passed but the next time I looked at the clock I realized four hours had passed. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I was unable to do anything. I got weaker everyday and it didn't help that I didn't eat. “If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses” my music player sang. I couldn't hold it in I started sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't want to die. Life is so unfair! Why me? I am 16. I wanted to grow up. There are so many things I wanted to do but my time is running short. I have to start doing the things I want to do now. That much is clear. I wiped my tear stained cheeks. A useless attempt to look human again.

My mum came in. If she noticed that I cried she was polite enough not to say anything. “Mum?” I asked in a shaky voice. “Yes, darling?” Concern, Tentative, Why does everybody talk to me like that? “I have a request” my voice was hard, showing clearly that I won't accept a no. Exactly the way I hoped I would sound. “ I want to see the competition!” There is only one word to describe me right now. Determined. “You are in no state to go on a trop for three days. Think about your treatment. Mianhae. Andwae.” I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was sorry but she won't give in either. “The last day. Only the last day. That's all I want. To see the final battles and to see myself who wins.” I said my voice was depleted and empty, mirroring exact how I felt. “Please” I nearly begged now but I didn't care. There are greater things now than my ego, pride, dignity,.... Okay maybe not. But now it is too late. My mum shook her head and left the room without another word. “I am dying mum.” I whispered. Then I started crying again, all my attempts to calm down failed. And like that Yu Mi found me. Yu Mi? I never talked to her. What is she doing here? “Anyonghaseo. Yu Mi imnida” she said shyly. I couldn't believe it. First that she came and second that Yu Mi, the great Yu Mi everyone is swooning about, was shy! She saw that I cried and hugged me. It was strange but it felt nice and I felt comforted. That's why I didn't care that she was a complete stranger. I always thought she was cc. Cruel and cold-hearted. But in this very moment I realized that I was terribly wrong. I somehow felt that she was lonely and that she had a lot of love to give. When I stopped crying she continued holding me until I felt okay again. Then she pulled away and smiled at me. “You are probably wondering why I am here, right?” I nodded gingerly. She let out a little laugh and even her eyes smiled. I couldn't stop myself from noticing how beautiful she was. “I will tell you another time. Just that you know. I will come more often from now on. I hope that's okay for you.” she said. I nodded this time profusely. She smiled. “Good” she stood up and slung her bag over one shoulder. “And next time I hope we can talk more. But unfortunately I have to leave now.” She smiled at me again and left. I think I have never seen her smile before. I looked at the clock and gasped. Yu Mi had spent one and half hour here. “Who was that?” my mum asked. Behind her I could see the puzzled faces of Sungyeol and Minzy. “A girl form school” I answered while waving at Sungyeol and Minzy. “How nice of her.” my mum smiled. I nodded in agreement. “I will come back later.” my mum told me. Then she said good-bye to my friends and left. They spent their afternoon at my side. We fooled around, made homework and Sungyeol and Minzy couldn't stop teasing each other. I laughed a lot that afternoon. My family joined us later and we talked, played games and they even took me for a 'walk' in the garden. They had to push me in a wheelchair because I couldn't walk long distances anymore after such an exhausting day. While being outside, enjoying the fresh air and picturesque sunset I fell asleep. I was happy.