Her golden locks swayed in the soft breeze as she immersed herself in the calming atmosphere. Her hooded coat fluttered in the wind. She had donned her casual getup after dropping by the mansion, ridden in her car to get to this place, and found herself leaning against the railing, which overlooked the city.

It was quite far from the bustling highways that Seoul usually had. This quiet place, that lacked the rusty smell of smog which usually cradled the city, became Jessica’s safe haven ever since she discovered the quiet abode.

The place hidden from the main road and the populace became Jessica’s refuge whenever she was troubled or simply needed some time alone to think things through. Closing her eyes to the magnificent view, she tried recalling that night, when her fiancé had brought her to a quiet place to cool off and reflect.

When Taeyeon pulled the car to park facing the city landscape with its kaleidoscopic lights dancing under the moonlit sky, Jessica found herself intruding a solemn abode. She gave the young man sitting on the driver’s seat a questioning stare, something that conveyed a ‘why did you bring me to this place’ look.

Taeyeon caught her gaze and simply smiled. He gave her his answer as if he had read her question right out of her mind, “This is my secret refuge. I always go by this place whenever I’m troubled… I figured that you’d need some time to think as well as some space. So, I guess this would be the perfect place to be.”

It was then that Jessica had realized that they were both similar, although she felt bad for making Taeyeon reveal his sacred place of retreat. It was the perfect spot for solitude; with the trees hiding the car from the road’s sight, and the comforting scenery that made one think that time had stopped to share a moment. 

The door to Taeyeon’s side opened, bursting Jessica’s thought bubble as she eyed the young man, who slid out of the car with a smile on his face. To her confusion, he gestured for her to follow along and so, without much of a thought, she opened her side and led herself out. 

“Take a seat on the hood while I go grab some drinks and some blanket.” Taeyeon patted the hood of his car. 

Without a word, Jessica complied as she tried to understand the things that this young man was doing for her. Perhaps, it was out of obligation that Taeyeon had been nice to her or perhaps, he was just being himself.

Well, Jessica could not decipher the puzzle that is Kim Taeyeon – her arranged fiancé.

‘Time will come, Jessica. You will get to know him more, soon.’ She thought to herself as Taeyeon placed a blanket between them with a few bottles of soda on it. To her surprise, he draped another blanket over her back and shoulders.

Taeyeon chuckled at her startled expression, his face a few inches apart from her own. “What? You thought I was some jerk who’d just allow you to get a cold? I might be a player, but I can be a gentleman, too.”

“I don’t get you.”

Taeyeon gave her a confused look. Jessica was sending him an icy glare, although Taeyeon looked unfazed by the Jung’s characteristic stare that made everyone, but her family members, scared. 

“Kim Taeyeon, I don’t get you.” Jessica repeated with emphasis on his name. 

“What don’t you get about me?”

“This… You… You, being a gentleman. You, taking care of me. I don’t get it. Why? Why do you care for me?” 

Realization had dawned on the man as he took in the young woman’s words. 

“Oh, that… Well, didn’t I answer that already? It’s because YOU’RE MY fiancée. Didn’t I tell you before, that I vowed to myself that I will take care of my fiancée no matter what the circumstances that come along? Yeah, we both have other relationships. We’re both committed to many people, but the person at the top of my list will always be my fiancée. That’s how I separate my player self from myself…”

Jessica found herself unable to make a riposte. dried up and she couldn’t find any words to speak. She felt her heartbeat race, as her mind processed the words that Taeyeon relayed to her. Goosebumps began to appear on her skin. The man before her was sincere. She saw it in his dark brown pools that reflected her own. 

“I – I… can’t speak the same for you, Taeyeon…” Jessica looked to the side. “I can’t return the favor… because my player self has fused with my true self.”

Honesty was written all over her face, Taeyeon realized. Jessica must have been hurt before, and this must have prompted her to close her heart forever, just like what he had done to his own, years ago. He placed his hands on her shoulders, which made the young woman flinch to his sudden touch. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he suddenly pulls her closer into his embrace. 

He was glad that she didn’t resist the intimate contact. And in silence he stood there before her, who was seated on the hood, gathered in his arms; her head resting on his shoulder and her eyes closed. 

It was on that moment that she had fallen asleep in his secure hug.

The bottles of soda were forgotten. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” A familiar voice, husky and warm, awakened her from her reverie.

Jessica turned to see Tiffany coming up from behind. The bright brunette had bundled herself with a pair of jeans, black boots, and a hooded coat over a pink shirt. Surprise was written all over the blonde’s face as she received the eye smile that Tiffany had sent her way.

“Surprised?” Tiffany settled on the railing right next to her, as Jessica continued staring at her cousin with a dumbfounded expression.

“How’d you find me?” Jessica asked, as Tiffany admired the scenery before her.

Without looking at her cousin, the Hwang replied, “I just know where to find you.”

A playful punch landed on her deltoid region. “Seriously Tiff, tell me how you found me.”

“Well, I discovered your secret spot when we were younger… after I followed you here when you had been sulking over your dropping grades – well, they were still above average…” Tiffany smiled sheepishly as she recalled the past, her eyes forming inverted crescents.

Jessica scoffed, “Yah! It was lower according to my standards, okay?”

“Pfft, you’re such a perfectionist.”

“You’re annoying!”

“But you love this annoying cousin…”

And with that, they both broke off in laughter. For a moment, Jessica had forgotten about her worries. She always did whenever she’s with Tiffany. Silence followed after their episode of mirth. It was a comfortable one as both young ladies admired the view before them.

This was the perfect moment for Tiffany to touch on the issue at hand: the one bothering Jessica right now.

“Jess, I know you were troubled by what Yoona and Yuri had said back there… Talk to me.”

Jessica turned to face the sparkling eyes that her cousin conveyed. Tiffany was willing to listen to her woes and the very presence of the girl made her feel at ease. There was security and understanding in Tiffany Hwang Miyoung.

“Miyoung, you really know how to break down my walls…” Jessica sighed.

Tiffany simply smiled back, “I know you more than you do, Sooyeon.”

And so, the two girls proceeded with their heart to heart talk.

 

***

Yuri’s House

In the meantime, Taeyeon was lying on a couch. He had been thinking while his cousin took to the kitchen to prepare some snack for them. His thoughts were riddled with Yuri and Yoona’s words as he lay there unmoved, pretending to sleep.

“Seriously, do you two have to flaunt your player ways before us?” The Kwon’s tone was laced with a pinch of anger. 

Taeyeon arched a brow at his cousin while Jessica still remained expressionless. Tiffany bowed her head as she predicted to find herself in the middle of a brewing argument. 

“Well, we haven’t broken up with our lovers yet…” Taeyeon replied. 

A frown formed on Yuri’s face. “Taeyeon, you’re engaged!”

Turning to Jessica who seemed nonchalant about the tension, Yoona tried to meet her cousin’s eyes who found the decors in the restaurant more interesting than the people with her. “Unnie, I think it’s time for you to move on… You and Taeng-oppa are-“

“Yoona. Stop.” Jessica interrupted just in time before her younger cousin could reveal something in public. “I know already and I’m well aware that you’re uncomfortable with me acting like a player…”

“Then why continue to do all these things, unnie? You’ve broken a lot of people’s hearts…”

“I-It’s complicated, Yoong… Let’s not talk about this here…”

All eyes stared intently at the Jung. 

“Jess, I think you need a break…” Tiffany finally decided to ease the tension before she gave her dongsaeng actress a slight nod making the maknae stop her banter with the blonde. 

Jessica let out a sigh before she called a waiter and paid for the bill. “I think I need some fresh air… Please excuse me.” 

Taeyeon sighed as he remembered what happened. The soft clunk of a small tray made him open his eyes and turn towards the table. Yuri sat opposite him as he groggily sat up and fixed himself in front of his tanned cousin.

“Have some tea and cookies, Taeng.”

“Thanks, Yul.” Taeyeon smiled softly as he and his cousin each took a piece of the delicious chocolate chip and munched on it.

“Taeyeon… It’s been a long time since we’ve settled down and talked like this.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for not having that much time to meet up with you and have a decent conversation.”

“Yeah… We’re both living up to our schedules so we can’t blame anyone.”

“This feels like old times, huh?”

“You mean like way back when we were kids?”

Taeyeon chuckled. “Uhuh. That was before I had to leave to study in the States for university.”

“Oh, I remember… but it was really hard back then… We’re both juggling stuff between studies and work. What’s worse was that you’re enrolled in a different school.”

“Hmm… Yeah. I don’t know how we managed to spend time together back then, but we did. Now… it’s-“

“Different. A lot of things have changed, Taeng. Especially on your case…”

Taeyeon sighed as he braced himself for what his cousin was about to say. His gaze shifted to meet the dark pools of Yuri’s eyes boring into his soul.

“I changed for the better, Yul…”

“No, you didn’t, Taeng. You changed for what you think was best for you after you left her… whoever she was… you didn’t tell me her name.”

“Yul, you do know that I broke my promise to her after I was sent away to the States. We broke each other’s hearts after that. I couldn’t even find her after I came back here.”

“Taeyeon, you should move on. Forget about that mistake. You have Jessica as your fiancée now. Stop hurting other people just to assure yourself that you’re fine. I might not know what’s happened between you and the girl you had been mulling over these years about, but you could at least try and open your heart to something new.”

“I – “

“You’re not a player, Kim Taeyeon. I know you. You’re a kindhearted gentleman who treats women with the highest respect. I know the real person behind the player named KTY.”

“Yul…” Taeyeon looked off to the side. Yuri had seen through his façade. Who knows how much Kwon Yuri knows about him? The man might have even figured how Taeyeon treats Jessica in a careful manner. “I know you’re curious about the name of the girl that I fell hopelessly in love with in the past… I haven’t even told you much about her when I expressed my heart break during one of our meetings.”

“Who’s the girl, Taeng? Maybe we can try to look for her and you can make amends with her before all of this gets blown out of proportion than it already has.”

“Her name was…”


 

***

“Sooyeon-ah, what happened when I was away? You and Yoong have left some things out for me when we all gathered. And you weren’t like this when I was around. Well, you were not much of a player when I was here.” Tiffany had been addressing Jessica by her Korean name as they both stood there admiring the view. It was a sign of affection between the cousins.

“Well, Yoong and I were always into arguments when you weren’t around. She had never approved of my ‘philandering’…whatever you call it. I was a wreck when you left, Tiff. I had just broken off of a relationship and you were leaving-“

“Wait, what?! You were in a relationship back then and you didn’t tell me?! Jung Sooyeon! I didn’t know you were dating back then! And you made me and Yuri feel guilty of secretly dating!” Tiffany was surprised at the sudden slip of information. Jessica mentally slapped herself for being careless.

“Uh…” Jessica tried to piece her words together as she resigned to just spilling the beans since Tiffany had found out. There’s no use hiding it anymore.

“Well, Miyoung… I – I met a boy about our age when I came back here in Seoul to finish the last few months of middle school. He was a gentleman and I believe he came from a family like ours too. He’s from a different school though so it was hard for him to meet me, but he always had surprises up his sleeve.”

Tiffany could see her cousin blushing at the memory. The boy that Jessica was referring to must have smitten the blonde and this made Tiffany ever more curious about this hidden relationship – one that Jessica must have kept from everyone since Tiffany had only known now, and it had been years.

Besides, Tiffany knew that she was always the first to know whatever’s inside Jessica’s mind.

“And so we dated in secret. He was really adorable and we never had any fights that couples usually have. I mean we were young and naïve. We were blinded by puppy love if you’d say.”

“Yeah… just like Yuri and me in the past. Kind of immature, huh? We only dated for a few months.”

Jessica nodded, understanding where Tiffany came from.

“Miyoungie, he left me... and that was the time when we were graduating from high school. He said he’d come back, but he didn’t. We never contacted each other and you knew the depression I went through.”

“I almost had to delay my departure for the States just because of you… And then that accident happened.”

The two girls laughed recounting the memory of them falling into the pool and ending up kissing each other. When their laughter had died down, Jessica eyed her cousin.

“But I’m thankful that you were there for me, Miyoungie… You somehow eased my burden back then.”

“Well, I thought you were depressed because I was leaving!” Tiffany huffed, feigning a hurt expression.

Jessica giggled as she gave her cousin a playful slap on the shoulder. “I was partly depressed because you were leaving too. But he was my first boyfriend, well, sort of, although we really didn’t define our relationship… I mean, we were close friends but we were more than that.”

“Tch, and you had the nerve to hide it from your best friend! How dare you, Sooyeon!”

Jessica clutched her cousin’s arm and rested her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder making the brunette tense at the contact. “Miyoung-ah… I love you.”

Tiffany felt heat rise to her cheeks. Jessica was irresistible and Tiffany found her fortifications come crashing down the moment Jessica showed her aegyo to her.

“Hmph, fine! Be that way, Sooyeon.”

“But I was really planning on telling you about it, Miyoung. You’re always the first to know.”

“So, Yoong doesn’t have a clue about your past relationship as well?” The Hwang arched her brow.

“Yoong knew I was hiding something back then but she didn’t really confront me for it. It was when I changed that she had begun to interrogate me about my relationships with other people and that’s where the arguments started. It was around the time you left for the States. I always ended up going home drunk and seeing an angry Yoong before me when you were gone.”

“Oh… Is that so… And was it around the time when the media dubbed you as Seoul’s heartless player when we were still in college?”

“Yeah, I gained that reputation after turning down a famous actor, who had asked me on a date… The press had caught wind of it and I had to keep a low profile after that. Then, the news of Yoona and Yuri dating erupted, getting the spotlight away from me.”

“And the actor you turned down was?”

“Lee Minho…”

“Minho?!”

“Yeah. You know him?”

“We attend the same church when I hadn’t left yet! I know him. He’s one of my bible study friends.”

“Oh, well he wasn’t my ideal type. We remained friends after that, although the news got blown out of proportion. But I didn’t stop dating other guys.”

“Geez, all these troubles you’re getting yourself into, Sooyeon… They’re just… ugh, I can’t even find the words to describe them.”
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