Title: 10 points

Your title is very interesting.  I like the implication that we have more than one chance to get things right.

Description: 15 points

I like how you don’t get into too much detail, yet you still manage to draw people in with your description.

Foreword:

There is no foreword, so I won’t grade this section.

Presentation: 14.5 points

Just a small thing, but the spacing in between your paragraphs is inconsistent.

Spelling & Grammar: 20 points

Good job here as well.

Style: 29 points

The only criticism I have is that seven-year-old Haemi and Kyungsoo (despite the fact that they’re more mature than others their age) talk a little too maturely.  I got this feeling especially when the two talked about Peter Pan.

Flow: 17 points

I like how you play around with time in your story.  You jump between the present and various parts of Haemi’s past.  While this is clever and interesting, it becomes a little confusing in certain areas.  Especially since Haemi is telling this story to her granddaughter, I would think that she would go in order. 

It starts to get confusing when Kyungsoo and Baekhyun become famous, because you’re switching between their trainee days and their post-debut days.

Perhaps if/when you edit your fic, you could consider putting all of the past events in chronological order.

Characterization: 40 points

Of course, you haven’t introduced all of the characters you’ve wanted to introduce yet, but you’re doing a good job with your current characters.

I like Haemi.  She’s a little dense but somehow endearing.  You can really learn a lot from her through her interactions with the various Exo guys.

The Exo guys don’t get equal representation in the fic, which is understandable.  As a result, the readers know more about certain members and less about others, which makes sense, since Haemi’s the one telling the story.  They all have their own little quirks, and my suggestion for the future would be to continue to establish their characters as more than their stereotypes.

Plot: 58 points

I like the guess the husband part of the plotline.  It keeps readers interested, and it reminds me of the Reply series (except we’re guessing from twelve guys, not two).

However, at the same time, having twelve guys fall in love with Haemi is a bit of a stretch.

Just remember to keep your end goal in mind and work toward it.  It’s still too early to accurately judge the plot, so I’ll just leave you with this suggestion.

Overall: no points here

I like how each chapter is an Exo song, and I like how you incorporate that song somehow into the chapter. 

Okay, allow me to guess the husband.  I think it’s either Baekhyun or one of the members that you haven’t introduced yet.  I’ll look forward to your ending.

I apologize for the wait, and thank you for requesting a review!  Also, congratulations on your score!

Total: 203.5/210 -> 97%