Title: 8 points

Although not original, I do like how Minho's last bit of dialogue connects us back to the title.

Description: 10 points

Your description seemed more like a plot synopsis than a description.  However, I do like the question at the end, which does draw some interest as to what might happen next.

On the other hand, the character profiles are unnecessary.  All of the information that you include in the character profile is included in the story itself.  Character profiles are actually an insult to the readers, as it makes them feel like you don't believe that they're smart enough to figure out the information on their own.

Foreword: 8 points

Your foreword should be as formal as possible, so you should avoid emoticons. 

Presentation: 15 points

Although a little too fancy for me personally, your layout does not take away from the story.

Spelling & Grammar: 10 points

You might want to run your story through a word processor (Microsoft Word is recommended, though Google Drive is a pleasant alternative)  to catch spelling and grammar errors. 

The biggest issue I see that a word processor might not catch is your verb tense agreement.  In the first two sentences, you are already switching between past and present tense.  Stick to one tense, which will help your readers understand the story better.

Style: 10 points

You should probably avoid stage names.  Key should be Kibum, and Onew should be Jinki.  Also, you should avoid Korean words as much as possible unless it does not have an English translation, like hanbok, or formalities (oppa, hyung, noona).

Diction: Your word choice is pretty good.  No problems here.

Syntax: You start a lot of your sentences with dialogue.  Try to mix it up.  Start some sentences with dialogue and end other sentences with dialogue.  If you do that, you'll create a variety of sentences.

Imagery: I am not an expert on at all, as is not really my genre.  However, in my opinion, you glossed over the and focused more on the wedding and the actions leading up to the actual .  In the actual scene, there was too much dialogue and not enough description.  You should work on describing the feelings and emotions felt, as it was Mia's first time and Minho's first time (in a way).

Dialogue: Like I mentioned above, I personally felt that there was too much dialogue and not enough description.  Although dialogue is an excellent way to "show don't tell", there is a limit as to how much dialogue is good dialogue. 

Flow: 18 points

Your flow, for the most part, is pretty good.  However, the scene from when Minho carries Mia to when they actually reach the door seems drawn out and unnecessary.  Overall, though, the story is too short to properly judge flow.

Characterization: 20 points

First, I will address the members of SHINee, who all painfully fall into their stereotypes.  Onew likes chicken.  Key is sassy and blunt.  Taemin is innocent.  Jonghyun does not really have any speaking lines and barely appears in the story.

Minho: There isn't really anything noteworthy about Minho, making his character average.  The readers learn more about Minho through the description and his character profile instead of the actual story, when it should be flipped.  I understand that the story was short, but Minho's character barely had any substance.  You do a good job of showing that Minho loves Mia, though, without saying "I love you", which is good.

Mia: You described Mia as innocent, and she is really innocent.  She's so innocent that she cannot say the word "", although she implies it.  She wonders if will hurt, though a simple ual education could've taught her that easily.  People aren't that innocent, and there are other reasons why people refuse to have until they get married besides a desire to remain innocent.  I wished that Mia had more substance to her as well, which I'm sure you could've done if you wrote a longer story.

Plot: 60 points

Believability: The plot itself was believable: a newlywed couple's honeymoon. 

Originality: You didn’t really change the formula, which can be a good thing or a bad thing.  In your case, it worked out in your favor, as I find that keeping scenes simple leaves a bigger impact on the readers.

Consistency: You kept everything consistent throughout your story; good job.

As for suggestions, since I didn’t really state much in this section, I would say that your story does not need any, at least in terms of plot.  Good job!

Overall: no points here

Your story was short and sweet, though some parts were a little unnecessary.  I had wished that you had worked on developing the characters more, though I understand that you were writing a oneshot.  Again, I’m not the best person to judge , so I would probably take my review with a grain of salt. 

Sorry to keep you waiting!

Total: 159/220 -> 72%