Title: 10 points

I love the significance of the title.  Although it isn’t the most eye-catching, it does a good job of describing the story.

Description: 14 points

Your characters do seem stereotypical from the description alone, and I hope that you continue to develop Dongwoon’s and Junhyung’s characters as you write. 

I do like the question you pose at the end of the description.  Questions are a good way, if used correctly, to keep the attention of potential readers.

There are a few awkward sentences which some editing could fix.

Foreword: 9 points

You use your foreword as a prologue, which is okay.  The ending of the prologue makes me want to continue reading, which is good. 

Some of the dialogue sounds awkward, which is understandable, since English is not your first language. 

Most of the error in your prologue has to do with grammar, and if you get a beta reader, I’m sure that they can go over each error individually with you.

Nonetheless, this is a strong start.  You know how to hook a reader with a small amount of text, and I like that.

Presentation: 15 points

Everything looks good here.

Spelling & Grammar: 16 points

There are errors here and there regarding verb tenses, but like I’ve mentioned above, if you get a beta, they can do a better job of explaining the errors than I can.  Spelling looks good.

Style: 22 points

You constantly refer to Junhyung and Dongwoon as “the extrovert” and “the introvert” respectively, which is okay when used in moderation.  However, you constantly referring to them by their epithets makes the description redundant.  It also seems to limit you as a writer.  By relying on these descriptions of your characters, you don’t really describe much beyond that.

Don’t worry so much about word choice.  I would argue that you don’t need big words to carry the story.  In fact, I would stay away from looking through a dictionary/thesaurus to find words that sound more sophisticated, especially since words that have the same meaning may have different connotations.

Some of the dialogue is awkward.  I would suggest reading bits of it out loud, and if you still have a difficult time, then I would find someone willing to listen to you read it aloud.  The interactions between Junhyung and Dongwoon are acceptable, since their relationship is strained.  However, even the dialogue between Junhyung and Hyunseung is awkward, despite them being best friends.

Flow: 20 points

The flow is good, not too fast or too slow.

Characterization: 35 points

Junhyung: Junhyung is my personal favorite out of all the characters you’ve introduced so far.  There’s so much you’ve done and can still do with his character.  Even though he’s a “party animal”, he isn’t as stereotypical as that sounds.  If you continue to write Junhyung as you do, then I think that you’ll have a really strong character development.

Dongwoon: Dongwoon needs some work.  He is an introvert, but I feel like he’s more depressed than introverted.  You’re going to have to really work on developing Dongwoon’s character to keep the plot strong.  Ask yourself these questions as you continue to write Dongwoon:

1) Is he willing to repair his relationship with Junhyung?
2) If he is, what is he willing to do to change himself?

With these two questions in mind, I believe that Dongwoon’s character development will be an interesting read.

Plot: 45 points

Relying on the introvert/extrovert bit to carry your story will not get you much farther.  You’ve done all you can with it.  Now, it’s time to show Junhyung and Dongwoon branching out from their stereotypes and rekindling their broken relationship.

I think that adding bits of Dongwoon’s book in the chapters is a very clever idea.  The only drawback is that it reads exactly like Dongwoon’s thoughts, which I understand is your goal.

You tend to contradict yourself as you write.  For instance, the beginning of chapter four states that Dongwoon clearly remembers how he ended up with Junhyung.  And then, two paragraphs later, he has to dig into his mind, in an attempt to remember how they ended up together.

Overall: no points here

Congratulations on being the first person to make me tear up while reading a fanfic.

Thank you for requesting a review, and I’m sorry that it took so long!

Total: 186/220 -> 85%