Title: 10 points

I like the title.  “Silent Call” is a good fit for your story.

Description: 14 points

The description is confusing on the first read, due to the ambiguous “it” and the fact that the reader doesn’t know who “they” are, but when the reader looks back after reading the story, things make sense.  This is the only thing I would really worry about if you’re trying to attract new readers.

The semi-colon should be a comma.

Foreword: 10 points

Everything looks good.

Presentation: 15 points

Everything looks good here too.

Spelling & Grammar: 19 points

Besides the occasional comma error or misuse of a semi-colon, your grammar is good.  If you haven’t done so already, running your work through a word processor or two would be good, just in case you’ve missed something that your eyes couldn’t catch.

Style: 20 points

Note: I am choosing which subjects to talk about, which I believe will benefit the requester the most.

Symbolism: Symbolism was the best and the worst part of Silent Call.  I loved the fact that you included so many symbols, which gave hints to the reader about Kwangmin and Youngmin and the incident.  However, you’ve included so many symbols, that some tend to go over the reader’s head.  The broken watch was an obvious symbol, one that is common in many fanfics.  The flower symbols were good, but most of them don’t make sense until the reader actually looked up the meanings of the flowers.  You might want to briefly define the various flowers and their meanings in the foreword, or have another scene in which Youngmin teaches the meanings of the flowers to Kwangmin.  The lotus on the lake was not quite enough for me personally to connect it to a drowning incident, so you might want to clarify that a little more.  However, there were good symbols, as seen in the one withering rose, which represents Kwangmin’s state.  I also liked how every time Kwangmin asked Youngmin if he was okay, Youngmin would shake, which represented Kwangmin’s inability to face himself, as Youngmin is one of Kwangmin’s hallucinations.  Instead of thinking about where to add symbolism, I would just write.  Usually, symbols will appear in your writing, whether you mean for it to happen or not.  You just have to find them.

Symbols I wished that you had developed a bit more: light/dark & the tea.

Flow: 20 points

Your flow is good, not too fast or too slow. 

Characterization: 35 points

Kwangmin: Kwangmin is the main character, extremely flawed.  He intentionally hurts himself because he needs to.  He’s still in denial of a tragic event that happened a year ago, according to Minwoo.  I love that Youngmin is both his savior and his killer, as constantly seeing Youngmin comforts him and makes him feel guilty at the same time.  Overall, you did a really good job with Kwangmin. 

Youngmin: The readers don’t really see Youngmin; they see the version of Youngmin that Kwangmin has created.  Throughout the story, despite Youngmin being a comfort to Kwangmin, there’s a sinister air around Youngmin, though I might’ve been the only one thinking that way.  Somehow, I felt that even though Youngmin said it was okay, it wasn’t really okay, y’know?  Youngmin does seem a little too perfect, though it is Kwangmin’s vision of Youngmin that we see.

Plot: 58 points

There isn’t much I can say here besides congratulating you on a strong plot.  From beginning to end, everything was clear and concise.  Nothing seemed out of place.  I especially enjoyed the open ending.

You might want to work on the flower symbolism, though.  Also, you might want to drop more hints about Youngmin’s death.  As a reader, it’s kind of hard to realize that he died by drowning just from the clues you included in the story.

Overall: no points here

I’ve talked about the symbolism multiple times in this review, and I’ll just mention it again.  Seeing symbols in writing really makes me happy, and I’m glad that you’ve included them in your story.

Thank you for waiting for your review, and I’m sorry that it took so long.

Total: 201/220 -> 91%