I did. I really tried. I had my determined face on as I walked confidently into the nevertheless scary YG building with my resignation letter crumpled in my hand.

...what resignation letter? I've only been in the building like what three times?

        "God damn it Raena! Just get the hell in there and get the hell out!" I whisperingly scolded myself when my feet suddenly glued themselves on the ground right in front of the main door. 

I could see the bright flashing lights and a few security guards walking around as two members of 2ne1 were getting off their big black celebrity van.

       Ugh why? Why now? I knew 2ne1's songs just a little but never expected to see them actually here...right in person.

The first one I saw was CL. Her perfectly long and slightly waved dirty blonde hair with large channel sunglasses on her oval face. She was dressed in a long sleeved black shirt with a strange blue floral pattern dress which was short in the front but long in the back. The other one getting out was Minzy, the youngest of the group. Her signature short hair was beginning to grow out nicely. Unlike the boyish image that I had of her, Minzy looked much more feminine than I thought she would look. She too had on large sunglasses and was wearing a black shirt and a well fitting red leather skirt.

       

I wanted to hide because honestly, I didn't really want to face them right now but my feet were stuck and it would had made me look stupid if I were to just jump out of sight.

         But thankfully they had no idea who I was yet so all they did was give me a quick smile and then entered the building.

I awkwardly raised my hand up to greet them but I was too late. 

Closing my eyes, I rubbed my face with my palm in embarrassment. 

What was I doing? At YG entertainment and trying to steal a song and now going into quit. 

         I let out a scowl and then retreated away from the building.

I'll tell sajangnim tomorrow, surely he'll understand. I'll just tell him that I'm moving far far away from here and that he would never see me again. Easy.

        And with a frustrated mind as always, I walked back home.

~~~~~~~~~~

       "Umma~" I yelled blindly into her hospital room as I practically jumped in. 

The hospital bed was empty, the tv was and the curtains were tied together to let the warm sunlight in.

"Huh...that's not..." I said with an uncertainty to my voice.

This wasn't normal. My mom hadn't been out of bed in weeks. There's no way she wouldn't be in her bed. There's no way...

 

            There was no way...unless-

My eyes opened widely and my heart began to bounce rapidly, almost like a rabid animal. 

She couldn't have been replaced could she? Did something happen to her? Why was she not in her room?

I felt my mind go awry and my feet began to move quickly in panic mode.

         I ran out of the room and began looking for a nurse. And thankfully I found out quick enough.

       I grabbed the nurses shoulders and asked her with a cracking voice, "The patient in room 204. W-What where is she?! What happened to her?!" My throat felt dry and words choked out of me.

      The nurse looked at me and saw how frantic I looked. She placed a gentle hand over mine and looked down as if she was thinking what to say.

     "She...she's up there now. Meeting someone special." The nurse said softly and then she looked up towards the ceiling.

My eyes began to water in pools of tears and I felt my heart clench. 

    "H-How?! She was...she was-" I let my face sink into my hands.

...meeting someone special? God? 

But then I peeked out through my fingers. God? My mom's a Buddhist. 

      

           "Yeah she had some visited come in, she said it was someone special. They're upstairs on the rooftop garden." The nurse put her once warm but now vicious cold hand on my shoulder.

I felt my face mold to a frozen face of discontent and my hands dropped down to my sides.

        "AH UNNIE! How the hell can you say it like that?! Ahhghhh!! Next time just say where she is!!" I threw my hands up in dumbfounded anger and began to run up the stairs.

Are you ing kidding me? And I actually thought she was...

But it was weird. My mom practically never had any visitors...

My feet sped up like rockets as I stampeded up the stairs of the hospital. There were about six floors in the building so it was quite the exercise for me. When I finally reached the top floor, I found the door to the rooftop garden.

       With nervous fingers, I pulled the handle of the door open and felt a cozy breeze coat me.

       I always loved the rooftop garden, though it was mainly for the patients. There was a neat little pathway and a variety of different pots for a plethora of beautiful blooming flowers. It felt like an oasis in the middle of the city and that was the best part. Around the rooftop garden, there were other commercial buildings with old rooftop billboards of ancient sodas or some lame business. But being in a place of trees and plants in the midst of a city felt uniquely amazing.

 

I recognized the back of my mom's head, snugly wearing a pink beanie and she was sitting in a wheelchair, looking out at the horizon. Another lady, maybe about the same age as my mom was sitting right next to her on a stone bench. She looked insanely beautiful yet breathtakingly familiar. It wasn't the sort of glamorous beautiful but a beauty that had come with age. Her fair black hair was in soft curls and her eyes struck out keenly. Her face was slim and thin, and so was her body. And on her arm, I saw a small navy blue cast indicating that she had a broken arm. The lady was smiling and talking calmly with my mom until she saw me.

         "Oh? ...Raena?" The lady asked in a kind voice.

She knew my name? 

         "Ann..yeonghasayo" I said hesitantly out of politeness although I had no clue who she was. The lady smiled widely at me as if she was looking at her own daughter.

         Mom spun around on her wheel chair and I saw a familiar smile. "Ah Raena-ya, you came? This is my highschool best friend...don't you remember her? You used to go to her house everyday after kindergarten to play with her son." 

My mind was blank. This lady who I don't even remember seeing before...was someone I knew?

         I cocked my head confusedly and awkwardly touched my ear. "I-I uh..." I began to say.

 

          "Ah it's okay, you must not remember, it's been a really long time too." The lady said with a friendly voice.

          "You really don't remember Raena? You used to call her imo* and follow her around! And you absolutely adored little Seunghyunnie! Do you remember Seunghyunnie oppa? You used to go 'Seunghyunnie oppa~' all the time!" Mom said with a little bit too enthusiastically, her face literally shining with happiness from her memories.

         I held up a hand and pressed it against my face. Sweat moistened my forehead. 

Seunghyunnie oppa? ...why did it sound so familiar?

        "You'll probably remember when you see his face, sweetie." The "Imo" said with a reassuring nod.

        "Where is he right now? I thought you said you came with him?" My mom asked with a slightly confused look. I could tell she was excited to be reunited with her friend again.

        "He just went to the bathroom, told him to come up here when he was done-"

        And then just at that moment, the thin door opened and a figure walked out casually.

A figure I doomed to say his name.

There was no ing way this was all real. 

-----------

*Imo- means aunt but younger people usually say it to close family friends who are an older female.

------

 

 

The plants and trees began to turn from an vivacious green to a rotting brown. I immediately turned around to face away from him. I could hear his soft yet perfect footsteps walk closer and closer towards me.

       "Oh Seunghyun-ah! Say hello! This is my best friend from high school I was telling you about." The lady said gesturing to my mom.

I could feel my heartbeat increase. I knew he was right next to him, just a few feet away yet his presence overpowered me. He was a blurry black figure from the corner of my eye.

       "Annyeonghasayo." TOP walked forward and gave my mom a warm handshake. I could now see his back but he still hasn't seen my face.

Of course his back had to look evil as well. Well I guess I was making him out to look worse than he actually was. He was wearing a casual navy blue plaid shirt underneath a well fitted khaki colored jacket matched with designer jeans and boat shoes.

        "And this is Raena." His mom said with a brilliant smile and a gesturing hand towards me. I felt my heart sink when I heard her say my name.

TOP turned around in a swivel and stopped when he saw me. There was a wide friendly smile on his face, one where all of his cheek muscles were working but as soon as he saw me...it vanished.

 

He was dumbfounded. I was dumbfounded. This day couldn't get anymore crazier.

        "Remember? You and her used to be best friends in kindergarten! Every single day! You carried her around and took her to her classrooms, and ate lunch together and..." His mom continued talking excitedly, looking faintly in the air as if she was remember some blissful dream.

       Please stop talking. Please stop talking. PLEASE. PLEASE FOR MY INSANITY'S SAKE.

       TOP's eyes were looking down, half blankly though as if he were trying to take in what his mom was saying but also trying to digest the fact that we used to know each other.

       "...and you had your first kiss with her!" The two ladies giggled out loud as they said in unison.

Aw god damn it! WHY?! 

       I felt so frustrated yet nothing could come out of my mouth from this ridiculous trip down memory lane.

       And then TOP looked up, his eyes tracing up my body and then right into my eyes. And for some reason, I looked straight into his eyes as well. They were certainly better looking than mine, clear and deep like dark chocolate.

And in his oh so deep eyes, I could read two very distinct words that formed like cream in hot chocolate. A small whimper escaped from my mouth when I read the words in my head.

 

        KARMA, .