Over the next two weeks, Jiwoo and I met again few more times. All were had the same awkward and unsteady feeling between us. But Jiwoo seemed to be getting more comfortable. He treated with me like a girl, giving me compliments and buying me food.
But what disturbed me a little was his coldish attitude. He was too "chic" for me. And so to try making myself worthy of him, I continuously tried hard to look my best, changing myself even more and more.
But it was a new feeling, I did feel loved in a way I guess. Maybe this was what love felt like? A little uneasy and confusing. Nothing's wrong with this right?
      Whenever I came back from a date, I would quickly change back into my comfy skater clothes and stick a hat over my hair. And then TOP would come home sometimes late at night or earlier before I do to pick a fight with me. But it wasn't a fight that I didn't like...I kind of enjoyed it in a way. It seemed as if I looked more forward to after the dates than the date itself.
~~~~~~~~~
       Crap...the laundry's overflowing... 
I cupped the side of my face with my palm and sighed. And the laundry machine is broken. How was it that this high quality Samsung whirlpool 2000 whatever could be broken at a time like this?
Maybe it was my fault for pushing the laundry off till today and piling it all in at once.

I struggled as I grabbed the large pile of laundry and lugged it outside to the front lawn. The night was already long and pitch dark. The stars in the sky were glowing unusually with a yellow florescent beam, making the house look brighter than normal.
Charlie came trotting behind me, biting on to a sock that I had dropped while moving the laundry.
        "Thanks boy!" I pet Charlie's soft head as he let go of the sock into the pile.
    I grabbed a large red plastic tub that was by the pool and filled it up with water using the hose near the garden flowers.
    "I guess we'll have to use the traditional method." I said just when the gates opened.
TOP walked in with his usual flair. Dark hair hair sprayed up revealing his darker than night eyes and smiling devious lips. He made a silly childish face as he greeted Charlie and danced his way over to me and the pile of laundry.
       "Why are you in such a happy mood?" I asked as I poured a cup of detergent in the water tub.
TOP moonwalked around me and the plastic tub. "I don't know, I'm just full of charisma today." He said in an unfitting serious tone.
      I scoffed as I dumped half of the laundry into the tub so that an inch of water covered the clothing.
He continued dancing as I crouched down to begin scrubbing like an old lady by the river.
"Yah yah yah get up." TOP suddenly said to me.

       I looked up and scrunched my nose to combat the itch on my forehead. "What?"
       TOP began to take his socks off and rolled his black pants halfway up to his calfs.
What the hell....
       Despite TOP's shoulder sling and cast, he decided to actually help me get the laundry done...with his feet.
       I continued to look at him as he stepped into the tub of water and laundry.
This has got to be the funniest thing ever. Bigbang's TOP, the chic movie star rapper is washing my laundry with his feet.
       "What the heck are you doing with your dirty feet?" I asked as I stood up.
TOP laughed goofily to himself in his usual deep voice. "Yah you should be considered lucky! Most fans don't even get to see my ankles!"
       I half frowned, half laughed, "I'm not a fan. If anything, I'm an anti-"
      TOP grabbed my arm with his good hand and pulled me into the tub with him.
The cold water cooled my feet off and immediately took away the humidity of the weather.
      TOP continued to lamely giggle as he stepped excitedly inside the tub, mixing the soap bubbles and thoroughly cleaning the clothes.
And so I did the same as him. His laugh was contagious...it made me smile uncontrollably. Something was definitely wrong with me.

His smile...so perfectly flawed with just about everything wrong with him. His silly spontaneous yet serious self. The way his thin lips smiled widely, and too genuinely. His cheek muscles undeniably smiling in extreme happiness and the way his eyes sparkled in reflection of the front lawn lights. It was a different kind of sparkle.
Not a sparkle was trying to impress like Jiwoo's but a real sparkle than came from within the heart.
       I felt my breath taken away as I caught little glimpses of this unusual emotion that TOP rarely showed. When I first met him, I thought he was just a rude, stuck up son of a who didn't care about anyone but himself. But in actuality, he was...kinda like me.
A little kid stuck inside a body that was forced to grown up. We both had a difficult life, me having to live, earning money by the minute and TOP having to live under constant pressure in front of the camera.
And that night, when we were both squishing my laundry under our feet, I felt something. A spark. I don't know if it was happiness or what but it didn't feel entirely bad as I thought it would. 
     TOP lifted his feet with a piece of black clothing hooked onto his big toe. Wait..was that my...
      "Is this your underwear?" TOP playfully asked with a silly smile, whipping my leg with the wet clothing.
I squirmed at the cold hitting my leg and squealed. "Yah! What the heck!" I pushed the side of chest hard to tip him over.
Losing balance due to his broken shoulder wrapped in an arm sling, TOP desperately caught himself by grabbing onto my hand.

Without any hesitation, TOP gripped my hand tightly and locked his fingers in with mine. He seemed as if it was a normal thing to do because he just continued to laugh and step on the soaked laundry.
But me...? I was surprised as hell.
       Why the heck was he grabbing my hand? And fingers too?!
It's not like we were some...couple or anything!
I felt the world stop for a moment and a shivering jolt went up my body. For some reason, I felt the back of my neck moisten with cold sweat. And strangely enough...I let his hand stay grabbing my hand. I didn't punch him or cuss inappropriately.
 His fingers were long and skinnier than I thought they would be but they still had a strong and protecting grip. His hand seemed to dwarf mine.
I felt a little awkward but also comfortable in a way. Something seemed right. The way he clasped on to my hand as he splashed some more water up at my legs and me doing the same back at him.
       "Yah if you're gonna do it, do it right!" I yelled at him unable to keep a straight face.
TOP laughed as I gently pushed him off balance. 
Something about this moment was magical. The gorgeous golden lawn lights gleaming from the source, illuminating this dark world just in this little oasis that we lived in together. Charlie whined happily and began to play by himself near the tub. It almost felt like...family.
A feeling that I had never felt before.

        After we were done, TOP cooly let go of my hand and stepped out of the laundry tub. He helped me put up the wet but now clean clothes on a wire that strung all the way from the side of the house to one of the bench swings.
Without really saying much, everything felt pretty casual. The night outside cooled into a bit of a chilly atmosphere so we headed inside. We made some good old popcorn, the no butter kind because of TOP's "strictly planned diet", a movie and decided to cuddle lovingly on the couch.
Except cuddle was an...exaggeration. OVER exaggeration. He sat on the far edge of the couch, with his feet up while I sat on the floor. TOP "lovingly" kicked my head every time the popcorn bowl was empty or if we ran out of drinks.
      Thankfully, I had Charlie lying next to me with his cute head rested on my lap.
It seemed as if I was feeling something new that I haven't felt in a real long time. Happiness. I didn't feel rushed or anxious. I felt comfortable and at home.
Things seemed to be going just well.
       But things never go "just" well.
Not in my dictionary of course.