Day 1

            Maeji, when you read this, I’m not sure if I will be reading yours too, so I want you to know that it will be okay with me for you to read further. I’m not sure if I’ll be alive for much longer though, so I want you to know that I love you and your brother. And if I die soon, I want you to know that you must be strong. Don’t let losing me destroy your life. I love you, and that means I want you to succeed and do what you want.

            Anyways, are you planning to be a nurse or something? Did you give this to me to see hospital life through a patient’s eyes? I hope not, the life of a nurse is depressing. They have to deal with those who’s time is running out.

            Maeji, I love you, please remember that no matter what.

            My life here is rather boring. Pills, meal, sleep, restroom, pills, meal, sleep, and the cycle repeats itself. There is nothing to do besides wait and think. It’s ridiculous.

Day 2

            Thank you for the bowties from the ajumma! They always seem to brighten my dad even though I’m not supposed to have them. Too much sugar, the doctor says. Eh, the doctors here are so-so.

            Seomin came to visit today, he’s becoming a good man, I just wish he’d stay in touch with Junhyung though, that boy had a good influence on him for being into rap. I’ll embarrass you know and say that I hope you and Junhyung get married. Yong Maeji, sounds pretty, doesn’t it? Keke, whoever you choose, I hope to meet them soon, dear.

            The food here is good, but I miss cooking and eat what you make. Has Seomin learned to cook or are you cooking for him still? Aigoo, my son can be just like my ex-husband sometimes.

Day 3

            “Maeji? Maeji are you home?” Junhyung called.

            “Yeah! I’m in my room!”

            He walked in. “What are you doing in here?” he sat down next to me and gave me the smile that always made me happy.

            “I was looking for old clothes.”

            “Why?”

            “To sell.”

            “Maeji, if you need money you can always come to me. You don’t need to give up the things you have. Or do you want me to ask Dujun to talk Joo into giving you a raise?”

            “No it’s okay don’t–”

           “Cho Maeji, don’t tell your oppa not to worry about you. It will only make me worry more.” He looked at me. “Have you been crying again? Your eyelashes look wet.”

            I sighed and he looked at the stuff around me.

            “Don’t cry about the past. You can’t change it,” he said quietly and put his arm around me.

            “Why do you need to sell your clothes anyway?”

            “I got fired for not coming into work today. Joo said that she could keep my spot but she has to hire a replacement. And I don’t want that inheritance money.”

            “I’m your oppa, I’ll help you,” he said and put his arms around me.

Dongwoon’s POV

            I saw it all. A part of me knew that this was possible, and another part started to ache. I liked Maeji, I really do. But I think I’ve always known that we wouldn’t be the best couple. I wanted Maeji to be my girl, to fit in my arms as perfectly as she fit in Junhyung’s. Deep down though, I’ve always known that she could never be. I’ve always known that she would always been Junhyung’s girl.

            I could never be her oppa. Only Junhyung could be.