When The Door Closes – B2ST

Kyungsoo was tapping his finger to the wooden table in front of him, glancing every now and then to the café’s door. When he saw the girl he was waiting for, he raised his hand and waved to take the girl’s attention, “Bomi, over here.” Bomi, who was just walking in into the café, spotted him and skipped her way to him.

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Bomi asked while she slipped in into the seat across Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo shook his head. “I already ordered for you, hot chocolate mint with extra marshmallow?” Bomi nodded vigorously and Kyungsoo continued before Bomi could ask, “I also picked 6 different flavor for the donuts, and yes,” then Kyungsoo added for the last time when Bomi opened , “We’ll share them, half and half.”

Bomi made a small nod, satisfied. “You’re definitely my favorite friend.”

Kyungsoo touched his chest and mumbled loudly, “… Friend? I wonder why it hurts when I heard that word?”

Bomi already gasped and she was ready to apologize when she saw the mischievous glint on Kyungsoo’s eyes. “Aish, Kyung!” Bomi whined, feeling a little bit guilty but also annoyed because Kyungsoo used their relationship to .

The boy just chuckled. “I’m kidding, sorry. But Seyeon will be mad if she knows.”

“Well Seyeon is my… hmm… favorite of favorite friends.”

They made small talks while waiting for their orders to arrive, it was already pass New Year and Kyungsoo asked about their home town since Bomi went home for holiday with Seyeon too. Bomi told him they went to Jongdae’s new house to see his wife since Seyeon and Sungyeol hadn’t meet her, and Bomi, too, only saw her on Jongdae’s wedding, while Eunji talked to her once when she went home. Bomi said Jongdae’s wife was very nice and definitely had Jongdae on a leash, seeing how obedient Jongdae was when his wife was around.

When their orders came, Kyungsoo took the matter to cut the donuts into two pieces so Bomi could taste them all. Bomi just beamed happily as she picked the chocolate filled one to be her first donut.

“Before I forget,” Kyungsoo took out a box from his bag and placed it on the table. “My late Christmas gift.”

“Oh, finally! I thought you don’t buy me anything,” Bomi grinned when Kyungsoo stared at her with a ‘Really now’ look. “Can I open it?” she looked up to have Kyungsoo’s approval.

“Sure, it’s for you.”

Bomi ripped the wrapper impatiently and her eyes widened when she saw the things inside the box. “Woah, don’t tell me… you knit this yourself?” she asked while holding out a grey beanie. Kyungsoo shrugged and Bomi almost got teary eyed because she’s touched, until she saw the tag on the knitted beanie. “… Eyy!” she glared at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo laughed. “Why did you even think I’m that great?”

Bomi just pouted, inspecting the box again. There’s a second gift, which was a metal brooch in a shape of a bird. She looked down to the bird and traced the shape with her thumb. “Thank you, Kyungsoo-yah. I like it. I’ll wear them nicely.”

They continued to talk for another hour before they decided to walk around. It had been snowing last night and now the sides of the road were covered with the white substance. Bomi wore her new beanie immediately.

“How do I look?” Bomi turned to Kyungsoo and sent him a questioning look.

Kyungsoo adjusted the beanie on Bomi’s head and he nodded. “Looks great. It’s not too small?”

“No,” Bomi fixed the beanie once more, checking her reflection in the café’s glass-wall before she walked with Kyungsoo, heading back to her house.

“So, tell me,” Kyungsoo opened another conversation, shoving his hands into his pockets, “How’s things with Chanyeol?”

“Hmm… better, I guess. We already talk now,” Bomi knew Chanyeol was conflicted with his feelings for her and her status as Kyungsoo’s ex-girlfriend, and she didn’t want to rush him. Bomi glanced at Kyungsoo and frowned. “Huh. It feels really weird, talking about Chanyeol to you.”

“Well, we have to get used to it,” Kyungsoo smiled. “Especially considering you’ll date him soon.”

Bomi was a little bit flustered with the statement. “We don’t know that for sure!”

Kyungsoo snorted and Bomi poked his side repeatedly before Kyungsoo burst into a laugh and moved away, admitting defeat.

“It feels for me,” he said a moment later. Bomi looked at him confusedly and Kyungsoo added, “Knowing you already move on. I know it sounds so selfish but… that’s how I feel.”

“Hmm… I know. I’ve been there before,” Bomi replied calmly, not a bit upset about Kyungsoo’s words because she understood he had no ill-intention.

“What do you mean? I don’t…,” Bomi gave her a pointed look and Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows. “… Ah. That.” He rubbed his nape sheepishly, remembering his own act three years ago when he dated his senior right after he broke up with Bomi. “Umm. Well, anything that I say now will only sounds like excuses… I’m sorry?”

Bomi rolled her eyes but then she nudged Kyungsoo’s arm with her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re right, this feels weird,” Kyungsoo mumbled. He glanced when Bomi chuckled and he smiled. “Hey Bbom…i,” Kyungsoo added the ‘i’ on the last minute and Bomi just chuckled more, “I know I’ve been saying sorry too many times before and it doesn’t look like I mean it… But I’m sorry, for everything. For being a jerk.”

“You’re not… Well not always,” Bomi grinned cheekily. “I guess we’re not mean to be together. And it used to be not okay, I can’t take it, but now, now it’s okay. You’re not a bad boyfriend, Kyungsoo-yah. You made me happy, more that I could wish for,” Bomi pinched Kyungsoo’s cheeks and pulled them hard.

Kyungsoo frowned but he let her do what she wanted, he just stared down at Bomi silently.

Bomi looked back and she smiled.

“I’m so sorry that I was a clingy girlfriend, and then a clingy ex-girlfriend,” she said quietly, “… Thank you for everything.”

After she said that, Bomi pulled her hands suddenly and she walked ahead of Kyungsoo, not even looking back. But Kyungsoo could see she brought her hand up and rubbed her eyes. Kyungsoo smiled to himself, inhaling deeply to shake away the feelings. His eyes landed on the piles of snow of the side and he smirked mischievously.

The next second, Bomi felt something cold hit his back. She turned around, only to see Kyungsoo played around when his second snowball, raising his eyebrows to challenge her.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Bomi crouched down to make her own snowball. “Prepare yourself, Do Kyungsoo!” she shouted before chasing Kyungsoo who ran away.

They had a mini snowball fight all along the way to Bomi’s house, uncaring about the weird looks they received from other passer-by. Seyeon didn’t even bother to ask when they showed up on the front door still laughing and in soaked coats, knowing her best friends too well. She simply shoved dry towels to them and prepared hot tea after that.

Suho furrowed his eyebrows when he didn’t see his dictionary on his bookshelf – he’s pretty sure that’s where he left it the last time he needed the book.

He sighed as he shut his eyes, digging the heels of his palms into them. It must be Sehun that took his dictionary, and Oh Sehun had been the source of Kim Joonmyeon’s headache lately. He loved Sehun. He loved his cousin so much he’d give everything to Sehun in a heartbeat without thinking about it twice, but perhaps what Sehun wanted all along was not a thing that he could ask or Suho could give. But if it’s another person, another heart, the best Suho could do was not to be in the way.

As always, they chose to avoid the problem instead talked about it. Suho tried to act indifferent, all smiles and he was good at it, he did it for years, nothing was different. Except this time Sehun was not there to catch him, to be his safety blanket in the end of the day, and Suho could feel Sehun’s slipping away from him. Honestly, Suho was scared. He’s scared that Sehun would leave him behind, just like his father did.

Suho didn’t know what to do to fix it, but he would never be with Seyeon again even if Sehun begged him to. Besides, Seyeon probably already hated him, judging by the way she never acknowledged Suho’s presence.   

He exhaled deeply once again before opened his eyes and walked to Sehun’s room next to his. He knocked on the door, calling, “Sehunnie, do you borrow my dictionary again?” There’s no answer, but Suho could hear the faint sound of a commercial break from inside Sehun’s room. “Sehun-ah?”

Suho turned the door’s knob and he peeked in, only to look into an empty room. He walked to the TV to turn it off. “I told you not to leave the TV on…,” he muttered to himself. He looked around for his dictionary, but then his eyes stumbled to a big, brown envelope with an unfamiliar logo on the top of it on Sehun’s desk.

“… SM College of Music and Dance Performance…?” Suho read the name under the logo out loud. Suddenly he felt his pulse quicken when he read the address of the college; it’s out of the city. The envelope was already opened and Suho pulled out the papers inside. As he read the papers inside one by one, line by line, Suho felt all the blood drained down and his hands started to feel numb and suddenly the world was all too quiet minus the sound of his own heartbeat, rising and dropping in a span of seconds.

“Hyung, what are you doing—,” Sehun walked in and saw the envelope on Suho’s hand. “Oh.”

Suho turned around after he heard Sehun’s voice. He swallowed down the lump in his throat when he faced his cousin. “What is this?” he raised the papers in his head.

Sehun just stared at him without saying anything.

“Oh Sehun, answer me,” Suho’s voice was shaky and he slightly raised his tone, “What is this?”

Sehun lowered his gaze away from Suho. “That’s exactly what it looks like. I applied to the college, and I get accepted. I… was about to tell you, Hyung.”

“You… what? But—What about university? I thought you’re studying for Law… like me?”

The younger of the two sighed and raked his hair. This was not what he planned to break away the news to Suho. “I’m just keeping my promise to Dad. He told me to at least try out for the university, in case I change my mind about the college, or I get rejected.”

“Father knows about this? And he lets you?” Suho asked, incredulous. Nothing made sense to him now. He tried to breathe evenly. “… So now that you’re accepted… You’re not going to university?” he confirmed once more.

“No, Hyung,” Sehun answered carefully.

Suho blinked his eyes a few times, processing all the new informations.

“… Okay,” he finally said, gathering his thoughts and made a quick calculation. “Well. That’s… unexpected… but I guess, if that’s what you want… and Father and Mother supports you…,” he rubbed his temple, “… But it’s out of the city, Sehun-ah, you will need to wake up like, three hours earlier—”

“Hyung.”

“—and what about getting home—“

“Suho Hyung.”

“—not to mention the fare—”

“Hyung, I will live in the college’s dorm,” Sehun said in a loud voice to cut Suho’s rambling. “There’s no way I will go back and forth every day, the college has a dormitory for the students and I will move there after graduation.”

“… What?” Suho’s face cracked into a denial smile. “What are you talking about, Sehun-ah?” he slightly tilted his head. “You will move out? Don’t joke around.”

“I’m not. I already plan it before, if I get accepted, I’ll live in the dorm. I already talk about it with Mom and Dad before, and they agree.”

Slowly, realization came to Suho. “You already plan this all… You talk with Father and Mother… and you didn’t tell me?” he asked. Now Suho was fully angry. “It didn’t cross your mind AT ALL, to tell me before?”

“Hyung…,” Sehun tried, “I didn’t know whether I’ll get in or not…”

“Is this because of me?” Suho didn’t let him finish his explanation. “It’s me right?” Sehun saw how the confident Suho faded and turned back into the insecure Kim Joonmyeon. All Suho could think about now was Sehun was going to leave him, too. “Do you hate me now, Oh Sehun?”

“Joonmyeon Hyung!” Sehun groaned. “That’s not it!”

“You could just tell me, Sehun,” Suho said bitterly, his thoughts were scattered all over the place, Sehun hated him and Sehun hated him so much he wanted to leave his own home to avoid him, “It’s your home, if you don’t want to see me again, it’s me who should leave–”

“STOP!” Sehun shouted, startling Suho and effectively stopping him from talking. Sehun thought he would never have to shout at his cousin again since their previous fight, but now all he wanted to do was to slam some sense into Suho’s face. “Stop it, Hyung! It’s not you, okay? It’s me! I need this! Why do you think it’s always about you?” the veins on his neck were popping out when Sehun shouted. “And what are you talking about?! This is YOUR home too, that’s YOUR parents down there, and DON’T, EVER, talk like you’re not belong here ever again, Hyung!”

Sehun slammed the door closed behind him, leaving a stunned Suho glued in his place. All Suho heard was the sound of stomping Sehun made when the boy walked down the stairs, and more angry stomps when he crossed the living room, ended with a slamming shut of the front’s door.

Suddenly Suho found it’s hard to breathe and he felt light-headed. He searched for Sehun’s desk to lean on as he stared at the floor. It’s happening – Sehun would leave him, alone, because he’s worthless and nobody loved him. 

Sehun frowned when the screen in front of him showed the word ‘Continue?’ and below the word there’s a number, starting to count down from 9. After his outburst he went to a game centre, three hours later he already played out all of his coins and even though he still wanted to play to channel his anger, Sehun had no money left so he put down the gun back to its place with a scowl.

He walked past the boxing machine, his score that he made earlier being the highest score was flashing on the machine’s screen. Not only on the boxing machine, actually, SHN was the highest scorer on several other games. On normal days Sehun was already a good gamer, but when he focused so hard to forget his problems, he got better. He even got a small dog plushie from the claw crane. Sehun fished out the plushie from his pocket, staring at it with his usual poker face.

The plushie has white fur, it’s soft and the expression was smiling rather dumbly.

Some of Sehun’s girl friends called him Hwindoongie because he had milky white skin, like Jjanggu’s dog, and they often complained about how it’s unfair that he’s a guy but his skin was paler than the girls and he barely had pimples. Sehun let the girls called him whatever they wanted, but inside, Sehun liked Suho’s skin better than his because Sehun was pale while Suho was fair skinned.

Sehun squeezed the plushie in his hand before shoving it back to his pocket.

When he walked out from the game center, out of the corner of his eyes Sehun caught a familiar figure that made him stopped walking. It was his cousin, standing straighter when Sehun looked at him, had been leaning back to the building behind him. Sehun’s eyes were quick to look at the cigarette butts on the ground below Suho.

Sehun knew Suho probably already waited for him for hours and it’s cold outside, but it didn’t make him any less upset.

“What are you doing?” Sehun spat, he stepped closer to Suho and d around Suho’s pockets to find the cigarette pack. Suho let him. “You promised you’d stop smoking,” he found the pack and he checked the inside, only four cigarettes left. He wanted to curse, but Suho just stared at him like he’s waiting for Sehun to be angry about it.

In the end Sehun just crushed the pack with his hands and he walked away, throwing the crushed cigarette pack when he saw a trash bin.

“Sehun-ah,” Suho called after him and followed behind. “Sehun-ah… I’m sorry, let’s talk.” Sehun didn’t show any sign that he would stop any time soon. Suho sighed and he walked faster, “Oh Sehun. I’m really sor—”

“WHAT!” Sehun turned around and shouted. Some people that walked by turned their heads to them but Sehun couldn’t care about it right now. “What exactly are you sorry about, Hyung, when you didn’t even do anything wrong!”  

“That’s not true,” Suho said quietly. “If only I—”

Suho had no chance to finish his words, since his words were cut off when he felt hard knuckles hit him on the face. He stumbled back a little, his jaw was stinging with pain. But the pain was nothing compared to the shock that he felt, because Sehun just punched him.

Before Suho could fully realize what just happened, Sehun pulled Suho’s collar and dragged him closer, his face right in front of Suho’s. “Stop blaming yourself! How many times I have to tell you, Hyung? It’s not about you, it’s me, ME!” he yelled at Suho’s face and Suho could see hurt flashed in Sehun’s eyes. “I swore to myself that I will never say it, but you don’t understand!” Sehun pushed Suho away. “What makes you think I will be happy when you’re not? Why do you think you’re less worthy to be happy, Hyung? Yes, I do like Seyeon Noona. But it’s not the same—It will never be the same,” his body was shaking from anger and Sehun swallowed, because he knew he had to say the thing that he held back for years.

“Sehun-ah…,” Suho knew what would come next by the look on Sehun’s eyes, and maybe, despite knowing it all these times, he’s scared to hear it right from Sehun’s mouth. Scared that he had to answer, scared that he couldn’t say the same if Sehun asked for it, scared that it would make Sehun leave him.

“Hyung…,” Sehun’s voice was softer now and Suho clenched his fists, trying his best not to run away or to cover Sehun’s mouth. “… I like you. I like you so much, more than I should be. And I know… we know, I can’t keep on feeling this way.” There’s a faint mock smile on Sehun’s face when he looked at Suho, “I will go, and when I come back… I won’t feel like this anymore.”

Suho stared at the ground, unable to look directly at Sehun. He felt something heavy on his chest and there’s a lump on his throat. He wished he could say that it’s okay, just like four years ago, but he knew Sehun couldn’t settle with just an ‘okay’ anymore. He needed more. He deserved more.

Suho couldn’t put on any smile right now. “Sehun… I’m—”

“Don’t say it,” Sehun looked away, “Don’t say you’re sorry, cause it will make me feel like what I feel is wrong. Well…, it is wrong,” he chuckled darkly, realizing the irony on it. Sehun exhaled deeply and he took out the dog plushie from his pocket. “For you, Hyung,” he threw the plushie and Suho caught it. “I’ll see you later at home… Joonmyeon Hyung.”

As Sehun walked away, biting his quivering lips to fight back the emotion, Suho covered his face with his hands, the soft fabric from the plushie pressed into his skin.

The plushie’s fur got a little bit wet after that.

The news that Sehun wouldn’t attend university and chose to go to an art college outside the city reached all EXO’s member, and Kyungsoo and Chanyeol took the role of accompanying Suho while Baekhyun and Jongin volunteered to arrange the farewell party, because they knew Sehun couldn’t care less and Suho just couldn’t do it. They knew something was wrong with the two brothers but they didn’t want to meddle in. 

They all went to Sehun’s graduation, including the girls, and they made quite a ruckus there when Sehun was being called as one of the best students. Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Jongin, and Minah whooped loudly, earning curious looks from other graduates. One of Sehun’s friends asked him, “How many brothers and sisters do you actually have?”

“… I’m an only child.”

“Then who are they?”

“I don’t know them,” was Sehun’s answer and he looked away, ignoring Chanyeol’s whine for him to look at their way so that he could take a picture of Sehun. Sehun gave up, however, when it’s Bomi who called him. Chanyeol handed him a bouquet of flower and Bomi was behind him, taking his picture. Sehun saw that Chanyeol and Bomi talked after that and he couldn’t help but to smile.

A lot of pictures were taken after the ceremony, all of them waited patiently until Sehun took pictures with all of his friends before they took turn to pose with Sehun. Sehun felt his sides burned when Seyeon leaned on him when it’s her turn.

Suho insisted to take a picture of Sehun with his parents only, but after that it’s Sehun’s turn to pulled Suho into the frame and Kyungsoo took the family picture.    

They went to eat after, along with Sehun’s parents who looked very proud of their son. Sehun, realizing the set up between his hyungs and noonas, chose to walk with his parents because as much as he wanted to cling on Bomi or Chanyeol, the two were actually walked together, and by the way Minah looked bashful every time Jongin as much as glanced at her, Sehun just didn’t want to be a part of it. Kyungsoo, like he did during their Christmas’ party, took Seyeon’s side, and Baekhyun was obviously trying to entertain the leader.

Sehun remembered that soon he wouldn’t be a part of the group and he felt, somewhat, a tiny little bit lonely.

It was the night of Sehun’s farewell party that took place at his house.

Kyungsoo cooked kimchi spaghetti per Sehun’s request, and for once Sehun was in the kitchen, listening carefully to Kyungsoo’s explanation of the recipe, and he even took notes. Jongin shouted that he doubted it Sehun would cook in the dorm, and Sehun made sure his parents weren’t around before he flipped a finger at Jongin. Jongin just laughed, saying something about Sehun was at his rebellious stage.

“Sehun-ah! Are you done? Come here, I bought you something, I want you to see it,” Bomi called out from the living room.

“Aren’t you spoiling him too much? You already bought him gift for Christmas, right?” Baekhyun protested, inched closer to Bomi because he wanted to see Bomi’s present to Sehun.

“If you’re jealous, just move away, I’m sure Bomi Noona will buy you something then,” Sehun pushed Baekhyun aside so he could sit next to Bomi. Baekhyun pouted and glared at the maknae but he had not witty comeback for him.  

“Or you could ask Yoonjo, Baek,” Chanyeol walked by on his way to the kitchen, “That, if you finally have the courage to ask her out,” he singsong and walked backward, wriggling his eyebrows at Baekhyun.  

This time Baekhyun threw a cushion at a laughing Chanyeol, who retreated to the kitchen to bugging Kyungsoo.

“Who’s Yoonjo?” Minah asked, frowning. “I’ve never heard of Yoonjo before. It was either Taeyeon or Sooyoung. Who’s this Yoonjo, Baekhyunnie?”

“No one!” Baekhyun said, for once he looked rather embarrassed when they talked about Yoonjo.

“Tell me!” Minah urged childishly. “Tell me, Baekhyun…nie…,” she realized that Jongin was glowering at her. “…Um… I mean…”

Jongin rolled his eyes and he turned around, changing his mind to sit beside Minah and walked to Seyeon instead.

“… Jong-Jonginnie?” Minah called out experimentally and Jongin stumbled on his own toes.

Seyeon snickered, whispering, “Jonginnie,” in a fake sweet tone. Jongin gave up and he joined Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Sehun already unwrapped his gift from Bomi, and it was a Polaroid camera.

“Noona… This is so cool, thank you so much,” Sehun hugged Bomi briefly before he went back to inspecting his new camera. “How to use this? Just click on this?”

“Here, let me show you,” Bomi took the camera from Sehun. She looked around and her eyes stopped at Suho. “Ah, Suho Oppa. Come and take a pic with Sehun,” she smiled at Suho, who looked rather surprised. As he recalled, Bomi was quite upset at him too.

Suho glanced at Sehun but the younger looked unfazed, so he moved to Sehun’s side. Sehun draped an arm around Suho, making a V sign, and he smiled. After that Sehun went back to Bomi and Bomi showed him the way around the camera, while Suho slipped away, grabbing his coat before he went out.

Suho didn’t walk very far away from the house. He was tempted to smoke a cigarette, but he knew Sehun would be angry for real this time if he dared to pull the stunt at his farewell party. Suho’s eyes dimmed when he remembered that Sehun would move away soon. And yes, he could visit him and Sehun would come home during summer break but it just wouldn’t feel the same. Suho exhaled and he looked up to the dark sky.

“What are you going to do when you become a father and your son goes to college, Joonmyeon?”

A voice startled him and Suho turned around, finding Seyeon smirking at him. She shook her head as she took place beside him. “If I’m not wrong, Sehun’s parents look happy, even. And here you are, sulking, because your cousin is growing up.”

Suho mumbled some incoherent words, not really have any defense to that because Seyeon was right.

Seyeon continued, not minding that Suho didn’t reply her. “I said to Sehun once… to let you go. I guess I was wrong. You’re the one who can’t let go.” She glanced at Suho. “He’s not a baby. And it’s not like he moves to another country for the rest of his life.”

“… I know.”

Seyeon chuckled. “Doesn’t look like that you do.”

Suho sighed. “I know,” he said again.

They stayed silent for a couple more minutes, before Seyeon reached out to Suho’s pocket and she took out a pack of cigarette from it. “You have to take care of yourself more, Kim Joonmyeon. Sehun won’t be around to do it anymore.” Suho looked up to meet her gaze and she smiled sadly.

“… Seyeon,” Suho called when Seyeon already walked back to the house. She turned her head. “… Thank you.”

Seyeon gave him the same sad smile. “I hate you.”

And Suho had no response for that, but Seyeon wasn’t waiting any.  

As the night went late, one by one they hugged Sehun and said their goodbyes to the maknae, since they probably wouldn’t see him again until around the next four months. Baekhyun slipped a to Sehun’s hand when he shook his hand and Sehun shoved the package to his back pocket without saying a word. Jongin towed Minah’s collar before Minah could hug Sehun and Sehun simply waved to the girl while Jongin took her away; of course they would walk home together.

When Bomi and Seyeon prepared to leave, however, Chanyeol grabbed Bomi’s elbow, holding her back. The two girls looked at him confusedly.

“Um, can I…? I want to talk with Bomi… if that’s okay,” he scratched his head clumsily, directing his question to Seyeon. He waited, fidgeting in his place, while Seyeon and Bomi exchanged glances.

“Sure,” Seyeon gave a smile to Chanyeol. “Just make sure to return her home, alright? Or call, if you decide not to come home,” she added playfully and Bomi smacked her arm lightly. “Bye!”

“Can we… walk around first before I take you home?” Chanyeol looked at Bomi, trying to find the answer in Bomi’s eyes.

Bomi nodded, her heart beat faster voluntarily because of anticipation of what would happen next, but she also didn’t want to hope for anything in case the outcome wasn’t what she expected to be.

Chanyeol smiled awkwardly, and they started to walk to the opposite direction of Bomi’s house.

“Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo turned his head to Seyeon who had been staring at him while he watched Bomi and Chanyeol walked away. He smiled to Seyeon and walked to her, “Come on, I’ll walk the lonely girl home.”

“Yah!” Seyeon protested but she linked her arm with Kyungsoo anyway. “You’re not answering my question.”

“I’ll answer it if you answer my question.”

Seyeon frowned. “But I asked you first.”

“Then I wouldn’t answer your question.”

“Aish, this kid…,” Seyeon glared at the guy beside him, who only smirked at her antics. “Fine, what’s your question?”

“… Are you okay?”

Seyeon was quiet for a while before she chuckled grimly. “That question sounds familiar,” she grunted. Kyungsoo shrugged. “Well, if you have to know, Kim Joonmyeon is an and no, I’m not a tiny little bit fine, I wish he gets bald soon and one day he’ll wake up missing me so bad he’ll crawl to my legs and begs me to forgive him, but then I’ll walk away from him with my boyfriend, which at least as handsome as Wonbin, and Joonmyeon will regret it so much he makes a castle out of his broken heart.”

Kyungsoo snorted. “Okay, glad to know that you’re not okay.” He patted Seyeon’s hand on his arm. “You’ll be fine, Seyeon-ah. And Suho Hyung… I think he will still looks good bald, but yeah, he’ll regret it, letting go someone as good as you.”

“I was wondering why we’re best friends, but I guess this is the reason why,” Seyeon grinned. “Since I already answer your question, what about you, Do Kyungsoo? Though I warn you beforehand, if you wish Bomi will go bald—”  

Kyungsoo laughed. “Of course not! I’m okay, really. It’s just feels weird… and I’ll be lying if I say I don’t feel jealous. But… it’s fine, if that’s make any sense.”

“… it does,” Seyeon said in a small voice, resting her head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “And I’m glad… Because I don’t want to go through the same phase like we did before, Kyung. Bomi’s not the only who missed you when you left. We all did.”

Kyungsoo was quiet. “... I think we all should go together, the six of us, before Jongdae’s enlistment, or before Sungyeol decides to travel around again.”

“That’s a good idea,” Seyeon raised her head. “Oh, but we should ask for Jongdae’s wife’s permission. I don’t think that will be a problem, though, she’s super chill. You won’t believe what she did with Bomi when we visited Jongdae’s house…”

“What’s her name again? I forgot.”

“Namjoo. Kim Namjoo.”

Bomi and Chanyeol didn’t have any definite destination, just strolling around in the winter night, it’s most definitely cold and their breath turned into a white puff in front of their faces. Chanyeol wore the hoodie Bomi got him as a Christmas present and he pulled the hood up to cover his hair.

“Suho Oppa… he looks glum,” Bomi tried to start a conversation.

“Yeah… But I think that’s better than when he pretends to smile all the time,” Chanyeol rubbed his nose. “About Sehun moving out, this is not why they fought before, right? When Sehun slept at my place?” he looked at Bomi curiously.

“No,” Bomi shook her head slowly.

“But it’s related?” Chanyeol asked again, remembering how Sehun asked his help for his audition tape the night he had a fight with Suho.

“I guess… yes.”

After that, no one had anything to say and the silence was gradually getting on their nerves. Bomi rubbed her hands together, contemplating whether she needed to take out her ipod, again, while Chanyeol wouldn’t stop blinking his eyes, obviously nervous.

Suddenly they could see snowflakes started to fall down and Bomi looked up to see the dark sky poured down the snow. “Should we—” She was about to ask Chanyeol if they needed to go inside a café or something to avoid the snow, but when she looked to the side Chanyeol was not there. “Huh?” Bomi turned around, Chanyeol was standing a few steps behind her. “Chanyeol?”

“This can’t do,” Chanyeol shook his head.

“… what?”

“Bomi, you—,” Chanyeol stopped himself, he wanted to look at Bomi’s eyes but at the same time he just couldn’t. “I have to ask this,” he swallowed, concentrating on Bomi’s shoes. “You… you don’t like Kyungsoo anymore?”

“Honestly?” Bomi asked back and this time Chanyeol raised his gaze to look at Bomi. He got more tense now because Bomi was smiling at him. “… Kyungsoo is my first love, and I don’t think I can ever forget him.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol raised his eyebrows. “… Of course.” Suddenly Chanyeol wanted to run. Or perhaps hit his head on the nearest tree.

“But Sehun said to me…,” Bomi took a step closer to Chanyeol, “… when I’m confused, I just need to close my eyes, and let my heart thinks for me. And I’m not confused anymore, because now, whether I close my eyes or not…,” she took another step, closer, and now she’s only one step away from him. Bomi looked up to Chanyeol. “… I can only see one person.”

The way Bomi stared at him made Chanyeol’s mouth went dry. “… M-me?” he asked nervously.

Bomi tilted her head, smiling widely, and Chanyeol felt the same rush of feelings he got when he woke up and saw Bomi in his kitchen.

“B-but I—,” Chanyeol said hurriedly, “I don’t—I—My smile is creepy,” he finally settled with the lame excuse, “And I—I’m clumsy, and I don’t know anything about making a girl happy, and I have never been in a steady relationship, and I—,” Chanyeol swallowed down. He’s not making any sense now. “… I’m not as good as Kyungsoo…,” and that’s what actually had been on his mind; Kyungsoo was definitely better than him. “He’s more handsome, don’t you think? Cute, too. He cooks, he’s smart, and wise, and when he sings… When he sings—”

“I know,” Bomi cut him off, “I know him before you, Chanyeol, I know him better. And sure, he’s all that you mention before, but I also know another sides of him, and my point is, I don’t like him, not anymore,” Bomi said bluntly, trying to make Chanyeol understand her feelings. “Chanyeol… You always take good care of me, since the first time we met, even when I hurt you. I told you before, haven’t I, you look better smiling? And who cares about cooking, do I ask you to cook for me? If you do, even if it’ll make my stomach hurt, I’ll eat it. And if you sing off-tune, I’ll make fun of you but I will still listen to you. Park Chanyeol, do I really have to say it first to make you understand?”

Chanyeol was speechless with Bomi’s sudden confession, but he quickly shook his head because he’s the man, he’s the one who should say it first. But now he just stared at the girl in front of him and she looked back at him warily. He still found it hard to believe, everything that happened between them.

But everything was real, and he had to believe. And he’s going to.

Chanyeol moved closer, closing the gap between them. “You’re too far,” he explained quietly, looking down to Bomi.

“But now I have to crane my neck to see you,” Bomi said jokingly.

“Ah,” Chanyeol scrunched up his nose. “You’re right.” He looked around and he dragged Bomi to the side where there’s a different level in the pavement, so that Bomi’s height would be more or less the same with him. “Better?”

“Yes,” Bomi chuckled.

“Well…,” Chanyeol inhaled deeply. “I’m going to kiss you,” he announced out loud, and there’s a spark of recognition on Bomi’s widened eyes; his first words to her at the party.

“You’re not very creative, are you?” Bomi , but she’s actually on the verge of tears.

“No, I’m not. So just play along,” Chanyeol smiled nervously, tucking Bomi’s hair behind her ear. “Again… I’m going to kiss you. … Kiss, not a peck.”

Bomi sniffed. “… Okay,” she nodded, rubbing her eyes so the tears wouldn’t fall down.

Chanyeol smiled, pulling Bomi’s hand away from her face. He leaned in and carefully, locking their lips together.

Their first kiss tasted like liquor while their last tasted like rain and tears, but now their kiss tasted like soberness and real feelings, and it didn’t matter if the snow was falling hard on them or their noses that brushed each other was cold, because finally, almost a year after they first met, they had each other.

And there’s no need to say the three words out loud, because it’s there, when Bomi wrapped her arms around Chanyeol’s neck and Chanyeol hugged her waist, closer to him.

I love you.

While putting on a smile for you
I say thank you, for making these happy memories
I’m sending you away like this
I wish that you’ll be happier

When this door closes

When The Door Closes – B2ST