Oh Sehun’s Night

Kiss the Rain - Yiruma

I suggest you play it to build the mood.

It was very late in the night, and Bomi felt light-headed and sleepy. She wasn’t good at drinking to begin with, and it’s only thanks to Kyungsoo that she hasn’t collapsed right now.  

Baekhyun was already out of his mind. He stood in the table and singing, using his bottle beer as the microphone, completely out of tune but surprisingly still pleasant to hear. He hiccupped now and then, shouting, “I loof yu, Pak Chanyool! I loof yu, Bang Minaah! I loof yu alllll!” while blowing air kisses to his imaginary fans, before falling down to the side.

Minah rolled in the floor, her injured ankle was up in the edge of the table. She laughed uncontrollably to everything everyone’s said, and in between she would shout and giggled and even cursed before back to laughing.

Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun’s shoulder to sit up, his red face showing one of the widest grin ever, but something that Baekhyun said make him cracked up and he ended letting go of Baekhyun, laughed out loud. Between his laugh Chanyeol noticed Bomi, and he foolishly grinned to her, hiding his eyes into a mere slight. Bomi smiled back, and Chanyeol returned to clapping his hands to whatever Baekhyun and Minah said.

On the other side, Jongin was burying his face in Kyungsoo’s chest, doing something like sobbing, but Bomi wasn’t entirely sure. And Bomi never saw Kyungsoo’s face as red as now, up to his ears, his eyes unfocused and heavy as he patted and Jongin’s back over and over again, whispering words to his ear.

Bomi rubbed her eyes, fighting the drowsiness. Where’s Seyeon?

She turned and caught Seyeon in the middle of stripping, ing her cardigan; her body swayed senselessly. Bomi was about to get up, she totally forgot about Seyeon’s habit of stripping when she drunk, but then she saw Suho in front of Seyeon.

He was expressionless, no smile or smirk whatsoever, and except the trail of faint rosy pink in his cheeks, there’s no sign that he’s been drinking. Suho’s eyes darken for a split second when he saw Seyeon’s fingers on her cardigan’s buttons, but then the dark shade fade; he brought his hand to buttoning Seyeon’s cardigan. The girl whined and whimpered, but every times she tried, Suho would stop her without any word.

Bomi looked around, noticing the absence of Sehun in the room. Finally she looked outside and found the maknae was sitting alone, facing away from them. His broad shoulders seemed so far away and somewhat deserted, and Bomi felt it has nothing to do with the fact he’s the only one fully sober tonight.

She stood up, light steps and bare feet, before she reached him. 

Sehun looked up to her. “Hyeongsoonim…”

Bomi sat down beside him, bringing her knees closer and hug them. Sehun had his knees bended too, resting his elbows on his knees. He gazed at her for a minute before back to facing the night. They could hear the sound of waves in the distance and faint noises of drunken people and parties. But here, around them, there’s nothing but the starry sky and the view of endless sea. 

Now when Bomi thought about it, she never had any proper conversation with Sehun before. Their first meeting was in Chanyeol’s flat, then the second, briefly, was in the café, and then the last time was when she came to support EXO. Then Sehun didn’t come to Chanyeol’s place after the performance, so Bomi didn’t get the chance to talk to him. And today, too, they haven’t talked a lot.

Even so, there’s something about Sehun that made Bomi feel comfortable around him. Bomi remembered Chanyeol saying Sehun was as pure as the snow, and she thought maybe that’s it; the innocent aura that Sehun had. But right now, there’s no Sehun’s signature sheepish smile, the one that always give-away his innocence.

“Sehun-ssi…,” Bomi called.

Sehun shook his head, disapproving Bomi’s way of calling him. “Sehun-ah, Sehunnie, Sehuna… Sehun.”

Bomi smiled. She reached out and brushed Sehun’s fringe. “… I may be wrong…,” she said softly, “… but are you okay, Sehun-ah?”

Sehun fell silent for a moment, letting Bomi his hair. He really didn’t mind the intimacy, the fond gesture Bomi showed despite their limited previous interactions. He liked it. He always liked being the youngest, being pampered and spoiled.  

Unconsciously, Sehun closed his eyes, enjoying the care. But Bomi’s words came back to him, so he opened his eyes with a small sigh. He his chapped lips when he turned his head, looking back to the living room.  

Bomi followed Sehun’s stare.

From their place she could see Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s side – Kyungsoo seemed already falling asleep in Jongin’s shoulder, Minah and Baekhyun sprawled on the carpet, and Suho’s back on them, carefully and patiently lifting up Seyeon’s cardigan back to her shoulders while Seyeon looked annoyed. Before Bomi looked away, from the corner of her eyes she caught a glimpse of Chanyeol staring at their direction with the softest smile, loving gaze. But she might be wrong, because when she took a double look, Chanyeol was busy with Baekhyun.   

When Bomi looked back at Sehun, Sehun was staring at her, lost and dejected. “… am I that easy to read, Noona?” Sehun asked her, brows furrowed.

Bomi couldn’t help but smile at the boy. “I really don’t know. It’s just… pretty clear to me…,” Bomi carefully fixed Sehun’s fringe, parted it in the side. She pulled back a little, checking her work. “I’m not sure about the others… But I don’t think so.”

Sehun lowered his head, staring at the ground between his legs. Bomi stopped his hair. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe… Maybe it’ll help.”

Sehun already made up his mind, he just needed more time to actually do it. After a while, he finally inhaled deeply.

“Suho Hyung… No, Joonmyeon Hyung… He had it tough.”

Bomi listened.

“Hyung’s mother… my aunt, is a mistress. She died when Hyung still a kid. My uncle, he was good to Hyung. But the first wife… Naturally, she doesn’t like Hyung. Hyung tried, he really tried. To be the best at everything, to be the golden kid. But when my uncle decided to move out to America, his wife didn’t want Hyung to come with them. And Hyung understood. So he chose to stay in Korea... At a young age, he chose to live alone, far away from his father, his only family. Of course, my uncle paid for everything, he’s rich, and money was never the problem for Hyung. It was later when my father found out that Joonmyeon Hyung had been living alone. So my parents decided to take him in. I was in junior high.”

A slight smile formed in Sehun’s lips when he recalled his memories.

“I still remembered the first dinner we had…,” Sehun’s voice was afar and he looked away into the dark sky, “At first Hyung was all polite, proper, rigid… But then Umma ruffled his hair, asking him if he wanted more rice. And suddenly Hyung cried. Umma just hugged him for a long time.

“Joonmyeon Hyung felt in debt to my parents. He asked what he can do to repay it, and my parents only told him to be nice to me, play with me… But Joonmyeon Hyung swore he’d protect me, to always put me over himself, over anything…”

Sehun shook his head. “I’m an only child. And I wasn’t good at making friends, I wasn’t good at anything. But Joonmyeon Hyung… He was the exact opposite,” the way Sehun spoke so softly about Suho clearly showed his admiration and his affection. “Joonmyeon Hyung was polite, kind, and smart. He says the right thing at the right time, he’s charming and he’s attractive too. He’s the type you want your child to be friends with. He’s just…,” Sehun’s voice trailed off, “… perfect…”

“I know he was only good to me because of my parents, but… I guess… I might be too excited about having him as my brother… And I might be talk about him to my friends a little bit too much… ‘Joonmyeon Hyung did this… He did that…’ It’s just… About him, I-,” Sehun stopped, as he swallowed and lowered his head even more, his hands slowly curled into fists. 

Gingerly, Bomi reached out to Sehun. She slipped her hand to Sehun’s, giving him strength to continue.

“Noona… I wasn’t always this tall. I wasn’t always like this. I was even thinner. And junior high kids… weren’t the nicest,” Sehun said bitterly as he turned to Bomi. Bomi squeezed his hand, showing her concern. “… well, knowing Joonmyeon Hyung… When he found out-,” Sehun frowned, gritting his teeth, “… what happened to me, he blamed himself.”  

Again, Sehun stopped talking, and this time the silence was a little bit longer. But he continued.

“He starts to pick me up at school, he doesn’t play with his friends just to be with me, he helps me with my homework, teaches me to play music… He was good to me before, but after that… He just…”

“… like a guardian…,” Bomi whispered, putting the pieces together.

Sehun glanced at her and smiled; the genuine, childish smile now. “I think Chanyeol Hyung came out with that nickname, Suho... At first it started as a joke. They’ve been friends before I went to high school, and Joonmyeon Hyung took me to play with them a lot, and they could see the way he treated me... So they joked about Joonmyeon Hyung being my guardian.”

Bomi shifted closer to Sehun and rested her head at his shoulder. The boy seemed like he found Bomi’s hand on his just now, playing with it, intertwining their fingers together. Still, there was nothing romantic about all of those actions. Bomi knew, and Sehun too.

“… do they know?” finally Bomi asked, breaking the silence between them.

“About me being bullied?” Sehun raised his eyebrows. “I think so. It seems Joonmyeon Hyung told them. But for the reason…,” Sehun his lips, thinking. “… No,” he shook his head. “They thought it was because I was small and a loner.”

Sehun sighed deeply. “… For once... For once, I want Joonmyeon Hyung to be selfish. I want him to be happy.”

His wish sounded so sincere, and it felt as if someone took Bomi’s heart and crushed it. So Bomi buried her head in Sehun’s shoulder, mumbling the words, “… I’m sorry.”

“What for, Noona?” Sehun chuckled softly. “It’s nothing, compared to everything Hyung gave to me. Joonmyeon Hyung… He thinks he needed to be perfect at everything to be loved…, to be wanted… He doesn’t understand that- That it’s okay. That he’s okay. I don’t need him to protect me all the time, I don’t need him to think of me all the time. My parents will still love him the same… I- We- We will still love him…”

Bomi nodded to Sehun’s shoulder, unable to look up at Sehun.

Sehun sniffed, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm.

Bomi squeezed his hand.

Sehun raised his head, feeling better after sharing his feeling with someone else. He wasn’t particularly close with any girl in his school, and he couldn’t imagine do the heart-to-heart talk with one of EXO members, no matter how close they are. So, for Sehun, Bomi’s presence was comforting.

“… Sehun-ah,” Bomi still mumbling to Sehun’s shoulder.

“Hm?”

“Can I tell you my secret?” Bomi pulled back from Sehun, staring at the boy right in the eyes. Sehun nodded his head.

Bomi looked away, suddenly stretching her left hand and stared at the back of her hand – it was the one Chanyeol kissed before.

“Is it about Chanyeol Hyung?” Sehun asked, following Bomi’s stare at the back of her hand. “I don’t know he’s cheesy like that. Must be the alcohol. But if you see it from another perspective, I guess we can call him gentle too?” Sehun furrowed his eyebrows, thinking.

“He is gentle…”

Something about the way Bomi spoke make Sehun glanced out of the corner of his eyes. Bomi’s eyes looked dreamy, like she was remembering something. 

His brain made a little calculation, and he wondered if their conversation would stir into NC-17 soon; Bomi has been drinking too, after all. She wouldn’t be that touchy and bold to Sehun if she was fully sober. 

“I never told anyone, not even Seyeon,” Bomi pulled back her hand. “You know the story we ended up together?” Bomi looked straight ahead, the night’s breeze was playing with her hair.

“The party… the game…,” Sehun spoke slowly.

“The party…,” Bomi gave him a light nod. “… yes, I was drunk that night. But actually… I was sober enough to say no… if I wanted to. But… his eyes…,” the pause just made Sehun listened even closely. “His eyes… reminded me of my ex-boyfriend’s eyes… That’s why I didn’t refuse. That’s why I kissed him back. That’s why…,” Bomi’s voice softened before it disappeared completely.   

They were quiet for a while, before Sehun finally shook his head. “You’re not at fault, Noona. You weren’t cheating or anything. You don’t have to feel guilty.” Sehun wondered why Bomi’s smile looked so sorrowful, like she did something very bad.

Bomi looked down, resting her forehead in her knees. “… Maybe…,” she mumbled. “… I feel… like I’m only using Chanyeol…”

“Noona,” Sehun touched Bomi’s shoulder, “I really sorry to say this, but it was a one night stand. I don’t think Chanyeol Hyung thinks much about anything.”

Bomi didn’t reply.

And Sehun didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have enough knowledge to know how one night stand supposed to be, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to have any deeper meaning – other than lust. Bomi being friend with Chanyeol and even his friends was an anomaly.

But maybe… it wasn’t about Chanyeol? 

“Noona… Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?” Sehun asked.  

The silence was long and for a second Sehun wasn’t sure Bomi heard him, but then the answer came, faint and no more than a soft whisper.

“… I wish… he asked me about it… before letting me go…”

The way Bomi said it flicked a pain in Sehun. Why did it sound so sad?

They were still in their position for a quite long time, not saying anything. It wasn’t until Bomi fell into Sehun that the boy realized that Bomi had fallen asleep.

“… Noona?” Sehun called, just to make sure. When Bomi didn’t respond, he exhaled, and carefully picking up Bomi into his embrace, carrying her.

But to his surprise, he saw Chanyeol walking toward them, a little bit staggering, but he managed to approach them.

“Hyung…?”

Chanyeol mumbled inaudibly, but his gestures were pretty clear.

“Are you sure…?” Sehun handed Bomi to him, watching anxiously as the drunken Chanyeol took over Bomi, carrying her back into the lodge. He followed them back into the lodge, making sure Chanyeol didn’t drop Bomi in the way.

Chanyeol took Bomi to the girls’ room, and Sehun, suddenly remember about Kyungsoo’s request before, trailing behind Chanyeol.

Chanyeol put down Bomi in the bed and tucked her in. When he was done, Chanyeol looked up to Sehun – who was watching silently for the entire time – and Chanyeol smiled at him. The way Chanyeol smiled as if he knew why Sehun was there making Sehun flustered, so he looked away and turned back to the living room.

His eyes immediately landed on Suho and Seyeon – Suho was leaning back to the couch with Seyeon on his chest, his arm wrapped around her. Next to them, Kyungsoo curled up while Jongin spooning him. A little bit away from them, Minah was sleeping not as gracefully as one of her leg was resting on the table. Meanwhile, Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen, but there’s sound of someone puking behind the couch.

Sehun frowned. He wondered if this was also the job of a maknae.

Chanyeol pat his shoulder from behind, and brushed pass him; he walked to Baekhyun first, helping the boy to the bed.

Sehun sighed, and decided to start by dragging Jongin away from Kyungsoo.  

Sehun already awake, but he refused to open his eyes. His mind was doing the thinking, slowly registering what happened last night, why he felt so sleepy and there’s a headache in the back of his head. He heard a soft, steady breath from his side and Sehun finally opened his eyes, facing Suho’s sleeping face in front of him. He stayed still.  

Ten seconds later, he sat up, the headache from lack of sleep following him. He glanced behind his back, Suho and Chanyeol were sleeping soundly – Chanyeol’s left sides were dangling from the edge of the bed.

Sehun rubbed his eyes and yawned. He tried to focus his sights before stood up, intrigued by voices from outside. It seemed like he’s not the first one to be awake.

He opened the door slowly, trying not to make a noise that could disturb Suho and Chanyeol. The voices became clear now.

“-it feels like someone trying to rip my head into two…,” it’s a male’s voice, complaining in a whiny tone.

“That’s why… just go back to sleep…,” the second was a female’s, gentle and persuading. “Why you wake up this early anyway?”

“… breakfast…,” the male mumbled, struggling with words.

“I’ll take care of it, Oppa. Drink this before you go back to sleep…”

Sehun reached the kitchen, and he saw Bomi and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was sitting on the stool, his head lying on the kitchen counter by his cheek, and Sehun never saw Kyungsoo like this before – he looked dreadful, with the messy hair, the eye-bags, and the wrinkle on his forehead. Kyungsoo had his eyes shut close. Meanwhile, Bomi stood beside Kyungsoo, caressing his hair carefully, there’s a bottle of water in front of her.

Sehun struck for a moment by the view. He felt something… but he couldn’t put it together.

Bomi noticed him and pulled her hand back. “Ah, Sehun-ah, you’re awake. Good morning.” She spoke so softly, almost into a whisper, and Sehun realized the reason she talked that way was to not causing headache to the hung-over Kyungsoo.

“Good morning, Hyeongsoonim. Hyung,” Sehun walked to the kitchen.

Kyungsoo barely opened his eyes, mumbling good morning back.

“Do you want breakfast? I already ordered some toasts and eggs… But they didn’t serve anything else for breakfast, I think I will go to the supermarket to buy some things…,” Bomi quickly explained to Sehun, working in the kitchen and serving him with toast and various kind of spread. “Do you want juice or milk?”

Sehun took the stool beside Kyungsoo. “Milk.”

“There you go,” Bomi gave him a glass of milk. “And I don’t think we have enough juice for the others… Can you take care of them while I go, Sehun-ah?”

Sehun nodded absentmindedly.

“… Sehun…,” Kyungsoo rose up, “… go with her,” he muttered, holding his head.

Bomi silently shook her head towards Sehun, signaling that she could go by herself.

“Bomi…,” Kyungsoo grumbled, apparently he didn’t miss Bomi’s signal to Sehun.

“What?” Bomi asked innocently.

Kyungsoo was about to talk back, but at that time they heard a flush from the bathroom, and the next second the door was opened, showing pale-looking Jongin. The boy made his way to the kitchen counter, and sat beside Sehun.

“Here,” Bomi smiled, handing him a glass of water.

“Thank you,” Jongin mumbled. He massaged his temple and drank the water up.

“Jongin-ssi, do you want to eat the toast- Ah.” Bomi was handing him the toast with a chopstick, and Jongin, out of lack of sleep and too much drinking from last night, ate the toast from Bomi unconsciously, and resulted in Bomi feeding him.

Jongin spitted the toast to his hand. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t realize…”

But Bomi just chuckled. “Hahaha, it’s okay, I feel like a mother. Do you want juice?”

“Ah, yes… Thank you,” Jongin scratched his head, slightly embarrassed. Sehun wriggled his eyebrows to Jongin, and Jongin smacked the younger’s head as the respond.

Bomi served Jongin the last drops of orange juice, and she pouted while disposing the juice’s cartoon. “See, I need to buy more juice. It’s good for hang over,” Bomi turned to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, half-awake, mumbled something alongside “Sehun”.

“I can accompany Hyeongsoonim,” Sehun gulped down his milk, talking to Bomi. “Jongin Hyung can take care of the others.”

“Taking care… what?” Jongin hadn’t fully awake to grasp the situation.

Then they heard a growl from one of the bedroom, alongside the sound of someone, seemingly falling from the bed, and a loud whisper of, “… shiiitttt….,” before the person who made the noise continued with gargling sounds.

Jongin and Sehun glanced at each other, but Jongin was quicker, he pushed Sehun down back to the stool. “You stay here, I’ll go with Bomi-ssi.”

Sehun narrowed his eyes, pouting at Jongin. “Not fair.”

Bomi disappeared for a moment, taking her bag, and Jongin, too, grabbed his wallet from the room, accompanied with the sound of a wailing Baekhyun.

“Just go back to sleep, okay?” Bomi plant a light at Kyungsoo’s back before she go.  

“… Bbom,” Kyungsoo tug the hem of Bomi’s shirt, making the girl stopped and turned around. “… be careful,” he mumbled drowsily.

“I will, thank you,” Jongin was the one who reply with a mocking tone. Bomi just smiled.  

Sehun felt something again, but he still couldn’t make it out. Jongin glanced at him, and something about his stare… Sehun blinked, he waved at Bomi and Jongin mindlessly.  

“Hyung, you should sleep,” Sehun stood beside Kyungsoo, taking him by his arm, wanted to help the older boy to go back to the bedroom.

Kyungsoo looked up to Sehun, rubbed his eyes, and then opened them, right under Sehun’s face. His eyes were round and big, and Sehun thought…

“Hyung,” he called. Kyungsoo hummed, flinched a little because Sehun’s too loud for his aching head. “… Hyung…,” Sehun repeated, softer this time, “… your eyes… they’re big.” Kyungsoo nodded along, slowly closing his eyes, letting Sehun take over his weight. And Sehun was still in his own mind when he mumbled, “… they’re big… just like…”

It’s like there’s someone who turned up the light in Sehun’s mind, helping him putting the pieces together, answering the weird feeling he couldn’t point out before.

‘Bbom’

“Why Hyeongsoonim calls you Oppa?”

The pause Kyungsoo needed before he answered.

Kyungsoo’s request last night and how he insisted for Sehun to accompany Bomi just now. 

The whiny tone Kyungsoo used to Bomi, one that Sehun never heard. The gentleness Bomi gave to Kyungsoo. The simplest gesture of his back, and “Bbom, be careful.”

The way Jongin glanced at Sehun after he teased Kyungsoo about it, as if Jongin wondered whether Sehun knows.

And then Bomi’s confession, “His eyes… reminded me of my ex-boyfriend’s eyes.”

Sehun looked down to Kyungsoo who was already asleep. “… Just like Chanyeol Hyung’s eyes…,” he whispered.

Now Sehun understood why Bomi felt so guilty and sounded so sad.

I really don't want to explain it and I won't say it directly in the story, but I wondered if you get the implication of why Sehun was bullied -- because if you don't, then I'm .