Do you know about my clumsy love?
As I see you turn away, I can’t say anything
So I will just place all my love inside my heart

Just Once – Kyuhyun, OST The Great Seer

Habit was a scary thing.

Seyeon walked in into the kitchen only to found Bomi standing near the counter, showing her back to Seyeon. “You’re up early,” Seyeon said, “I thought your class isn’t started until later?”

Bomi rubbed her eyes before she turned around. “Um. ... Seyeon-ah, why don’t you take this for your lunch? I made too much,” she pushed a lunch box filled with kimbap to Seyeon. “Ah, just take them all, give them to your friends, or… Suho Oppa or Jongin or... Just... take them.” She took of the apron around her waist and threw it to the stool, rushing pass Seyeon and went back to her own room.

Seyeon looked at all the kimbap Bomi made, placed neatly on a big lunch box. She sighed, because she knew lately Bomi developed a habit making lunch boxes for Chanyeol, or sometimes breakfast if the boy woke up late and skipped his meal.

It hadn’t been long since Bomi started doing it, but now that it’s already became a habit, guess Bomi needed time to return to her days before Chanyeol.

Habit was a scary thing.

Chanyeol ran into his class, precisely 45 seconds before his professor walked in and started the class. He’s still panting and out of breath from running and Baekhyun raised his eyebrows to him. “What’s with you? You’ve been running late every day now. What did you do last night, stay up for another movie marathon?”

Chanyeol nodded just to shut Baekhyun up.

He couldn’t possibly say the reason behind his tardiness was because he’s been relying on Bomi’s phone calls to wake him up, so now that they’re not speaking anymore he had trouble waking up on time.

Chanyeol rubbed his face. He was fine before Bomi came along, surely he would be fine again.

To: Chibi

U＾ェ＾U Pupyeol says hi

To: Happy Virus

ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞAngry Bird Bom says you shouldn’t texting in class.

To: Chibi

(U・x・U) Pupyeol is sad. Pupyeol wants to know if the scary Angry Bird is up to take him out for a walk this Sunday.

To: Happy Virus

(`･⊝･´) Angry Bird Bom will spare her precious Sunday for Pupyeol. Angry Bird Bom asks if Pupyeol wants to come for dinner today.

To: Chibi

Sure!!!

To: Happy Virus:

Okay~ Now stop texting me and pay attention to your class!!!

Chanyeol covered his yawn and rubbed his eyes, trying to drive away the drowsiness. The lecture was getting a little boring, and before he realized what he was doing, Chanyeol already took out his phone and started to type a message.

He frowned when he finally got his sense back.

Chanyeol deleted the unfinished message and pocketed his phone back, now staring intensely at the white board in front even though his mind was not it.

This was harder than what he thought.

To: Chibi

Good night, don’t forget to brush your teeth before sleep! And you’ll have ad-worthy teeth like me~

To: Happy Virus

Good night! Don’t forget to wash your face before you sleep, and you’ll have a praise-worthy face like me! :D

To: Chibi

Meeeeh.

To: Happy Virus

Σ(ﾟ∀´(┗┐ヽ(･∀･ )ﾉ

To: Chibi

ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(；・＿・)┘

How long is ‘a while’?

Bomi sat in her desk, her crossed arms rested on the table and she put her chin on top of her arms, staring at her staying still phone. Was it always this quiet? Didn’t she have other friends to call? What she usually did at night?

She straightened her back and shifted her gaze to her right hand, where a simple silver bracelet wrapped her wrist perfectly. Her finger traced the infinite pendant over and over again, it already became a habit of hers now.

“You know my feelings to you.”

Was it okay for her to wear the bracelet? Did she deserve it? Was she even worth it? Did Chanyeol just pick the bracelet randomly or did he mean it, the meaning behind the infinite symbol?

Bomi glanced at her phone once again.

Should she call first? What if Chanyeol still doesn’t want to talk to her? But what if he’s waiting for her to call first?

Bomi ruffled her own hair, venting out her frustration. She huffed and rubbed her forehead; she would wait a little bit longer.  

Seyeon stood nervously in front of, what she believed, as Suho’s and Sehun’s house. She checked the address in her phone again, before gingerly pushed the bell beside the door. Suho agreed to help her with studying, and it surprised Seyeon that Suho proposed to do it in his house because usually they always study either in campus, café, or Seyeon’s house. She tried not to take it seriously, but she kept on remember Sehun’s words about Suho never brought any girl home, and she couldn’t help but wonder. Moreover, she felt that Suho’s been a little bit strange lately, maybe it’s just Seyeon’s feeling but she felt like Suho was distancing himself from Seyeon. So Seyeon just took the invitation as a good sign, and here she was, waiting for the door to open.

A minute passed and no one came to open the door. Seyeon frowned, sending a text to Suho to tell him she’s already arrived. She looked at the door and realized the door was slightly ajar.

“Joonmyeon Oppa?” she called into the house, but there’s no response. Seyeon hesitated for a moment. But then she decided to let herself in.

She pushed the door carefully and peeked in, she could see the empty hallway that lead into the living room. “Oppa…?” she called again. It’s still working hours so Mr. Oh should be working while Seyeon had no idea about Mrs. Oh. “Joonmyeon Oppa…”

Then she saw it.

At first she couldn’t see it very clear, but when Seyeon stepped inside and positioned herself better, she could see two people in the living room, one was facing away from her. It was a girl. On the couch. With Suho. And they were kissing – making out.

Seyeon’s eyes widened as her world stop spinning.

Right at that time, Suho, who was facing Seyeon, opened his eyes and looked at her.

And when Suho didn’t stop what he’s doing, it hit Seyeon – He wanted me to see it. This is the reason he asked me to come.

Seyeon pulled the door behind her open and stormed out, didn’t really care whether she closed the door properly or not, she just wanted to get as far as she could from that place – from the horrified sight that now carved permanently into her memories.

She had only reached the gate when she bumped into someone.

“I’m sorry,” the apologize came out as a reflex, Seyeon bowed and she was about to run again, but a hand held into her arm. 

“Seyeon Noona?” Seyeon looked up, realizing that it was Sehun she was bumped into. “What are you do—” Sehun didn’t finish his sentence when he saw the tears that running down on Seyeon’s face. His grip loosened and Seyeon took the chance to break away from Sehun.

Sehun was walking home from school when someone bumped into him in front of his house, and when he realized it was Seyeon, crying, he was stunned in his place. But then, snapping away, he took long steps into the house, passing the still opened door. He stopped in the hallway when he saw Suho in the living room with a girl – they were no longer making out, but Sehun grasped the situation right away.

Suho looked at him indifferently, and Sehun threw a glare at him before walking out from the house and ran after Seyeon.

He caught up to Seyeon in a nearby park, sitting alone on a bench, looking down into her hands in her lap.

“Noona…,” Sehun walked to her as he called her carefully – he was afraid to find Seyeon’s crying and he didn’t know what to say to comfort her. But to his surprise, when Seyeon raised her head, she’s not crying – although the trails of dry tears were clearly visible.

Seyeon forced herself to smile, but her effort just broke Sehun’s heart even more.

“Noona…,” Sehun sat beside Seyeon, and still Seyeon didn’t say anything. She just looked at him with a weak smile before returned to look down. “… Listen…,” Sehun said, slowly, “… I will go buy us drinks… And I will go, for… 15 minutes. … Okay?”

Seyeon nodded.

Sehun took a breath, and walked away reluctantly. As soon as he’s out of Seyeon’s sight, however, he started running like crazy. He reached the nearest convenience store in no time and he wasn’t really paying attention to what he bought, he just wanted to get back to Seyeon as fast as he could.

When he got back to the park, like what he’s predicted, Seyeon was crying alone, burying her face in her hands. Sehun tried to make no sounds as he sat down behind the bushes near Seyeon – fifteen minutes hadn’t pass yet. He sat there quietly, just listening to Seyeon’s cry, waiting until she stopped crying.

He ended waiting for more than fifteen minutes.

When he noticed that Seyeon had stop crying, Sehun frowned at the canned drinks it his hands – they’re no longer warm.

“… Sorry, the store’s a little bit far,” Sehun said as he sat down next to Seyeon and offered her the drink.

Seyeon only nodded her head, she accepted the drink but did nothing with it.

Sehun sighed and took the drink back from Seyeon. He opened the can before returning it to Seyeon. “Seyeon Noona… You don’t have to… think about that girl. She’s not his girlfriend.”

At his words, Seyeon finally reacted.

She turned her head slightly to Sehun and smiled, “The thing is, Sehun-ah… I’m not his girlfriend either.”

Sehun never felt this angry.

Seyeon looked at him, broken behind her forced smile. “I’m sorry, Sehun-ah. I promised you that I will try… But it seems he doesn’t want me to stay… I’m sorry I broke my promise.”

After what happened to her, Seyeon apologized to him.

Sehun never felt angrier in his life – to Suho, and to himself. Sehun thought, if only he didn’t make her promise, if only he didn’t let her come close to Suho…

He turned the door knob to Suho’s room carelessly and slammed it open. “Why did you do that?!” Sehun shouted to Suho who was sitting on his bed.

“Sehun,” Suho replied calmly, standing on his feet to level up with Sehun.

“Hyung! Tell me, WHY DID YOU DO THAT!”

“Sehun-ah…”

Sehun didn’t stop to listen to Suho. “What now?! I thought you like her?! And she likes you! Why you have to do this kind of things again? I already told you, I TOLD YOU, she’s ALRIGHT! I’m FINE! You don’t have to think about my feel…lings…,” Sehun’s words faltered in his lips when he realized it all, “… to you…” The last two words came out as a mere whisper. Sehun searched for Suho’s eyes, and there he found the answer.

Suho was looking at him, guilty, acceptance, but also understanding.

“… You should have told me, Sehun-ah…,” Suho took a step closer to Sehun. “If only you told me… I wouldn’t be with Seyeon…”

Sehun flinched back when he heard the name.

Suho knew.

He actually knew.

“Sehun-ah,” Suho reached out his hand to Sehun, but Sehun turned his body around.

Sehun ran without thinking nor caring about his surroundings, embarrassment was all he could feel. Because he thought he had it all covered, buried and tucked safely in the corner of his heart. What gave it away? Was he staring too much? How did Suho realize?

How did Suho know that it’s no longer Joonmyeon... but Seyeon?     

Later when Chanyeol opened his door, Sehun busted in without an explanation and walked straight the bed, covering himself up to the head with Chanyeol’s blanket.  

Chanyeol didn’t know what he should do with a refused-to-talk Sehun, the said boy just curling up under his blanket and Chanyeol chose to leave him alone. His phone beeped and Chanyeol read the incoming message.

From: Leader Hyung

Is Sehun there?

Chanyeol glanced at the maknae.

To: Leader Hyung

Yes. Are you two fighting? Sehun doesn’t talk at all. He seems very upset. 

From: Leader Hyung

Chanyeol, I think right now he’s only going to talk to Bomi… Is it okay if I take her to your place?

Chanyeol grimaced upon reading the last message. He silently cursed at Sehun’s stubbornness and his lack of friends. But then he remembered it’s actually a point that made him like Bomi, how she effortlessly taking Sehun’s heart. He sighed and typed the reply.

To: Leader Hyung

It’s alright.

The answer came right away.

From: Leader Hyung

Thanks, Chanyeol-ah. 

Chanyeol threw his phone to the side in the couch he’s sitting at. He took a look around his flat, and decided to clean up a bit, convincing himself it had nothing to do with him anticipating Bomi’s visit to his flat.

Suho called Bomi before and he said that Sehun needed her. He asked whether it’s alright if he picked up Bomi to Sehun, which the girl agreed immediately. But then Bomi went silent for a moment when Suho told her that Sehun was at Chanyeol’s.

“… if Chanyeol is alright with me…,” Bomi said quietly.

“He said it’s okay,” Suho answered. “Please, Bomi-ah, I think he needs someone to talk to right now, and it’s not something he can easily talks to just anyone.”

Bomi frowned when she heard this. Something that Sehun couldn’t talk to just anyone… The only thing that came to her mind was her talk with Sehun that night at the beach. “Okay.”  

When Suho arrived at her house, Bomi climbed into Suho’s car silently, strapping the seat belt around her without even acknowledging Suho’s presence in the driving seat. Suho, too, only watched and waited until Bomi was done before he shifted the gear and started to drive. Finally, after some times that felt like forever, Suho spoke, “You must be mad at me.”

Bomi glanced at Suho, taking a look at the guy for the first time since she board the car. Suho didn’t have any smile on his face – not the charming one, not the kind one, not the confidence one, nothing. He didn’t look angry either, it’s just an emotionless face. Even at his worst, Suho wouldn’t let other people see the real him. 

“What did you do, Oppa?” Bomi asked, returning her gaze to the road in front of them. “Seyeon came home looked like she’s been crying and she doesn’t come out from her room since, and now Sehun…” Suho didn’t answer her and Bomi inhaled, wondering if what she’s going to say was the right thing to do. She chose to trust her instinct. “Did you find out about Sehun’s feelings?”

Suho’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and he unknowingly clenched his jaw. He let some times passed to control his emotion before answering, “Yes.”

Bomi kind of already expected that answer, but she sighed nonetheless. She rested her head on the window, starting to wonder what would happened if only she didn’t meet Chanyeol at that party – never mind her relationships with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Sehun wouldn’t meet Seyeon and he wouldn’t get hurt, not like this.

“You know.” It was more than a statement than a question.

“… yes,” Bomi answered reluctantly. She didn’t like the way Suho seemed like accusing her of hiding the information. 

“Since when?” Suho’s voice was tense.

“Our holiday together…”

Bomi didn’t see it but Suho narrowed his eyes at the answer. It’s been months since their holiday back in the summer, and if Bomi already know since then, it meant Sehun had keep his feelings longer than Suho thought.

“I was wondering why you and Sehun suddenly glued to each other whenever we are get together,” Suho said, “I figured maybe he told you about him… But I guess this is the other reason, huh.” Bomi didn’t reply. “… Do you know since when…?” Suho asked vaguely, but Bomi knew what he’s talking about.

If Bomi told Suho, she knew it would only make him felt worse, but right now Bomi didn’t care. “I guess since the first time he saw her.”

“You mean…”

“When I brought Seyeon and Minah to EXO’s performance, at Chanyeol’s place.” Bomi could hear Suho cursed under his breath, and she faintly noticed this was the first time she heard Suho cursing. “If it’s make you feel better, Oppa, I only realized it because I used to it. I probably wouldn’t notice it too if I’m not Seyeon’s best friend for years.  She’s always been the prettiest one, boys naturally look at her whenever she goes. So I know the look on Sehun’s eyes when he saw her.”

Suho didn’t ask anything anymore after that.

They almost reached Chanyeol’s place when suddenly Bomi spoke. “… you know what made me upset? It’s the fact that both of you chose to hurt Seyeon instead of each other. She’s not a toy,” Bomi tuned to Suho, and he could feel her glare, her shaky words, trying not to burst into a rage. “Sehun pushed Seyeon to you, he let her come to you even though he knew it might hurt her. Sehun chose you over Seyeon, over himself, because he wants you to be happy. I don’t know what happened, but I think I can put things together. You, too, chose Sehun, don’t you, you rather hurt Seyeon than Sehun. … I know that you care about Sehun, but… how could you do that? Don’t you care about Seyeon too?”

There’s no response from Suho and Bomi wasn’t expecting any.

Suho pulled up in front of Chanyeol’s flat and Bomi was already unbuckled herself when she realized Suho didn’t move, looking down to his own grip in the steering wheel. Right now, Suho’s feeling wasn’t Bomi’s priority. She looked to the side and said, “No matter what Sehun does, he can’t make Seyeon happy, that’s why he keeps his feeling to himself. But you’re different, Oppa. You can make her happy. Right now, you only hurt both of them, and you hurt yourself too.”

“… I can’t do that… Not to Sehun,” Suho hissed from behind gritted teeth.

Bomi opened the door and stepped out. “… Seyeon loves you,” she reminded him before closing the door.

Bomi climbed up the stairs to Chanyeol’s room by herself, not caring whether Suho followed her or not. It wasn’t until she stood in front of Chanyeol’s flat that she started to feel nervous about meeting Chanyeol again. She took a deep breath, reminding herself about Sehun and Seyeon, and then rang the bell.

Chanyeol opened the door and Bomi unknowingly holding back her breath. “… Hi,” she said. It surely wasn’t that long since she last saw him that day in the park, but she felt his hair was getting significantly longer and he looked good in it or was it just her imagination?

“Um. Hi,” Chanyeol replied, not really sure where to look. He craned his neck over Bomi, looking for Suho. “Suho Hyung…?”

 “I think… he’s staying in the car.”

“Oh. Okay,” Chanyeol nodded. Was Bomi getting prettier or it’s his eyes playing trick with him? ”Well…,” Chanyeol stepped back and grabbed his coat, “I’ll come down and meet him… So, I guess… I’ll leave Sehun to you.” He rubbed his nose and Bomi nodded curtly. Chanyeol replied the gesture, slipping pass Bomi to the stairs.

Bomi watched until Chanyeol walked down before she came into Chanyeol’s flat. Her eyes immediately landed on a big slump on Chanyeol’s bed, Sehun’s blond hair was sticking out from under the blanket. Bomi took off her coat, put it in the couch, and walked to the bed. She sat beside Sehun, carefully placing her hand on top of the lump. “Sehun-ah…?”

At first Bomi thought Sehun was sleeping because he’s not responding, but then Sehun pushed the blanket away and faced Bomi. Her heart clenched when she saw Sehun’s red eyes – it’s not like he’s been crying, it looked like he’s been trying hard not to.

“Noona,” Sehun’s voice croaked when he spoke. “… Noona,” he sat up and called again. “… Can I hug you?” he asked desperately, and Bomi only had the time to nod before Sehun crashed into her, burying his face in her shoulder, his arms held around Bomi like she’s a life support.

There’s no sobbing sound, but Bomi could feel Sehun’s body trembling, and she felt the blouse on her shoulder was getting wet. She rubbed Sehun’s back and made comforting circles, “… It’s okay, Sehun-ah,” that’s all she can say, and she kept on repeating it, whispering those words to Sehun, “It’s okay…”

Chanyeol saw Suho’s car, but he didn’t see Suho in it. He looked around, and walked to the backside of the building. There, he found Suho squatting down with his head leaned back to the wall, a lit up cigarette between his fingers. Chanyeol sighed and approached his leader.

“… I thought you don’t smoke anymore,” Chanyeol said as he squatted down next to Suho.

Suho didn’t reply, only inhaled deeply before puffing white smoke from his mouth.

“What happened, Hyung? I never see you and Sehun like this… Unless that one time…” Being the first one that befriended Suho and Sehun, he was the closest to the siblings and he knew things the other didn’t.

“Sorry for keep on bothering you.”

“That’s not the problem…”

They fell silent and Chanyeol shoved his hands deep into his pocket, watching as Suho kept on smoking and finished his cigarette and finally he took out another one, offering Chanyeol one too. Chanyeol shook his head, and again, he’s just watching as Suho lit his second cigarette.

Chanyeol wanted to snatch the cigarette away from Suho, but the current Suho would probably punch him if he dared to do that.

“Chanyeol-ah,” Suho called and Chanyeol turned his head. “You know that I’ll do anything for Sehun, right?” he asked, flicking his cigarette and let the ashes drop down into the ground.

Chanyeol cocked an eyebrow, not sure where the question came from. “… Yeah?”

“What if he asked me to do something that will only hurt him? What should I do?”

“… Huh? Like hit him?”

Suho chuckled and he turned to Chanyeol, ruffling the kid’s hair. “Aah, you’re really naïve, sometimes it’s annoying, Yeol.”

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, ignoring Suho’s remark and focused on his previous question instead. “Why would Sehun ask you to do something that will hurt him?”

“Right?” Suho inhaled his cigarette again, and Chanyeol wasn’t sure but he thought he heard Suho muttering, ‘ing Sehun’. “… Because it will make me happy,” Suho said quietly.

“Oh… That sounds so…,” Chanyeol chewed on his bottom lip, “… Sehun.” Chanyeol glanced at Suho, “Then…,” he started carefully, but didn’t finish his sentence.

Suho picked up from there. “You think it’s better if I comply with Sehun’s request?”

“Well, it’s Sehun… Even if it hurts him, he’ll be happy if you’re happy…” Chanyeol already accepted Sehun’s and Suho’s complex relationship long ago, Sehun’s beyond admiration to Suho, Suho’s over protectiveness to Sehun, and he’s no longer questioning the meaning behind the relationship.

“Then why aren’t you with Bomi?” Suho’s sudden question took Chanyeol aback. “If it’s Kyungsoo, he’s mature enough to let Bomi go, I’m sure he will be happy if his friends are happy.”

Chanyeol didn’t understand why suddenly Suho brought up his relationship with Bomi and Kyungsoo, but Chanyeol murmured, “… I can’t…”

“… Exactly.”

Chanyeol turned his head when he noticed Suho stood up, throwing his cigarette and stomped on it. Chanyeol followed suit.

“I’m going to ask for more favor,” Suho said, taking out his car key from his pocket and tossed it to Chanyeol. “I don’t know how long Sehun wants to stay at your place, but I bought his uniform, his books, and change of clothes for him in the car. I don’t want him to get sick, so, drive him to school and pick him up if you have time. And, if you can, talk to him to go home.”

Chanyeol looked down into the car key in his hand – it’s Suho’s car, not Sehun’s father’s car. “Hyung. What about you? I’ll take you home. It’s cold.”

Suho shook his head. “You need to take Bomi home. I don’t think she wants to see my face right now.” Suho exhaled. “Tell her I said thanks… Take care of Sehun, Chanyeol-ah.”

Chanyeol tried to change Suho’s decision and just let him drive Suho home, but Suho wouldn’t take any of it, and finally Chanyeol had to settle with walking him to the bus stop. He took Sehun’s stuff from the car and went back to his flat. Right before he opened the door, Chanyeol had the mind to fix his hair.

When he opened the door, Bomi turned her head from the kitchen.

“… Suho Oppa?” she asked in a whisper, and Chanyeol glanced to the bed to see Sehun lying there, seemingly asleep.

“He went home,” Chanyeol answered. He dropped Sehun’s clothes in the carpet and hesitantly walked to the kitchen to see what Bomi was doing. “You’re cooking…?”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I’ll be quick… I saw that you have no food, and I thought… I’ll make something for Sehun and you…,” Bomi mumbled, and because she was too nervous and self-conscious about being around Chanyeol, she forgot to use a mitten to touch the hot pot in the stove. “… Aack!” she quickly pulled her hand with a yelp.

“Yah, what are you doing,” Chanyeol hurriedly came to her side and grabbed her hand to the sink, putting it under the cold running water. “Are you okay? Is it hurt?”

The sudden skinskip and the words brought de javu to both of them, and Chanyeol was the first to let go, stepped back almost as quick as he came and he put his hands behind him, leaving Bomi feeling empty after the loss of contact.

Bomi looked away and tried to concentrate back to cooking. “Um… Chanyeol…,” Bomi felt really strange to call that name again, “I need the fry pan in the second shelf… Can you get it for me?” she pointed to the shelf above her – she’s been cooking for Chanyeol for a couple times that she knew where the utensils were in Chanyeol’s kitchen.

“Ah…,” Chanyeol held back the height jokes he used to pull. He walked to Bomi and opened the shelf, easily reaching out the fry pan Bomi wanted that she couldn’t reach. “This one?” he looked down and suddenly realized how close he stood behind Bomi, and the scent of Bomi’s perfume ticked his nose.

“Thank you,” Bomi, oblivious to their position, took the fry pan from Chanyeol. She turned around but stepped back almost immediately, her back hitting the counter behind her, as she went face to face with Chanyeol’s chest. “… Ch-” She looked up, only to meet with Chanyeol’s gaze at her.

Chanyeol wasn’t really aware that he was staring.

“… Chanyeol…”

Chanyeol blinked when he noticed the lips he was staring at was moving, calling out his name. He turned away. “Suho Hyung lend me his car, I’ll take you home after dinner.”

Bomi frowned and bit her lips, trying to not look too disappointed. “I can’t stay, Seyeon… She’s not feeling well.”

Chanyeol glanced for a moment, but he just nodded.

Bomi sighed secretly. Guess it’s still too soon for ‘a while’.

• Btw, I don't really ship SeHo, but I like their relationship and I think this post in tumblr portrays their relationship well.
• Since we're reaching the end, I'm thinking of making a behind the story? So if you guys have anything to ask... For example, surong-exopink wonders why I don't use Chorong as 'Seyeon'.