Ding Ding Ding, your alarm clock rang. You knew it wasn’t your alarm clock, because you didn’t have one. It's your little sister lying under the bed and make alarm clock sounds.

She climbed out of bed and stood beside it. ''Big sister you must up now'' she yelled four times in a row. You didn’t answer and she found something else to do.

''I'm coming'' she shouted and jumped down on your back. ''Oh, sister, you take the life out of me'' I blew. She jumped down and you put your head down on the pillow.

A picture of Minki with his hoodie on show up in your mind. I need to know what his problem is, you think. You ran up, finish yourself and was on your way to school.

You walked into the classroom and Minki has still not come to school. This is incredible, why does he never show up, maybe he is sick or something. Days passed and you used the breaks together with your girlfriends, you were all very good friends and had found a day where you should sleep together. 

Ren pov

HEART         OR              INSTINCTS 

''Ren you've got to go to school'' Baekho shouted from kitchen. ''No'' I shouted again.

Baekho came into my room.

''So you will just lie on the bed, with your head into the pillow and do nothing?'' He asked. '' Yes'' I replied.

Baekho sat on the edge of the bed.

''Here,'' he said,

he had a glass with something red in.

‘’I have put blood pill in the water’’

I sat up, took the glass and smelled the contents.

''I haven’t put human blood in it, if that's what you think'' Baekho said angrily.

I looked over the glass

''You can never know'' I replied suspicious, I knew that Baekho never could do such a thing. 

"You've got to get some nourishment'' Baekho said.

I drank the blood-water in one mouthful and put the glass on the night table.

JR and Minhyun came in and sat down beside Baekho on the bed and looked at me as if I was near death, although I felt that way.

''Why are you staring like that?'' I asked angrily. ''We're worried about you'' JR said. ''You need to go to school''

Why am I like this, I think by myself, maybe I should just listen to what Aron said, perhaps I shall live like a vampire instead of those ing blood pills.

''Where is Aron?'' I asked them. ''Aron is on a hunt'' Baekho answer. 

''Shall I find you something more to drink?'' Minhyun asked. ''No'' I replied quickly.

''I just have a question, a question I never thought I would ask anyone in my whole life’’.

They look scared on me. ''What do you want to know?'' Baekho asked.

I looked down at my hands and felt the tears press on.

''How does it feeling like?''I asked.

They looked at each other. ''I'm not quite sure what you mean'' JR. said

I tried to maintain consciousness, because it was something I really wanted an answer.

''How it feels biting a human?'' I whisper

I look at them, they look at the ground as if they were ashamed.

''We can’t tell you'' replied Baekho.

I felt the flames in my eyes.

''Why not'' I shouted. ''It's the only thing I ask you to tell me and then yoy won't even try''

Baekho stood up quickly, as if he was afraid I would attack him.

''That's because you don’t like the idea of biting a human'' he said.

I stood up and I looked straight into his eyes.

''Maybe I'll try it one day'' I said.

Now they all stood up and looked at me. Baekho stood with half-open mouth and looked at me.''Ren, you don’t want to try it''

I growled at him ''And why not?''

I was on my way over to the door, but Baekho grabbed my arm.

''Because you don’t want to end up like us''

I looked at them with sad eyes.

''What do you mean?'' I whispered. They all had tears in eyes.

''None of us can control ourselves anymore, we are hungry for human blood'' Minhyun said. ''Once we were like you, but we gave up and now we can’t control it''

JR walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

''We are afraid of losing you Ren'' he said. ''We are afraid that you will have the same destiny that we have''

I can feel a pain in my body.

‘’You need to find her Ren'' Baekho said I looked up at him.

''You have to find (your name) she will mean something to you, she is yours and you must love her, you can’t lose her as we lost ours, because we couldn’t control ourselves’’

I looked at them with tears in his eyes.

''Promise us that you won’t give up, like us'' Minhyun said.

I nodded and they gave me a group hug.

They went out in the kitchen and I sat on my bed, with my hands over my eyes. What shall I do? I asked myself. Why is it so ing hard to be a vampire?.

Perhaps I shall ask Aron, he must be able to answer my question. But tomorrow I will go to school. .

But one thing is clear, I won't let my instincts win ... I hope.