“You’re indeed a fangirl huh? Crying together with your ‘oppa’.” JaeHwan chuckled while thinking back about how HyunJung looked while tearing together with her idol, or so he thought. She amazed him. She was similar yet so different from other girls he knew.

HyunJung gave him a weak smile and continued making her way to his car, not wanting to talk more.

“Did you have fun?” JaeHwan opened the car door for her, waiting for her to get in. Like a gentleman, he raised his hand to shield the top of her head to prevent her from bumping into the roof of the car.

“Yeah, I did.” HyunJung replied as she thought back on how she was enjoying along with the other fans. She was usually at the backstage with the staff members during their concerts, so it was nice to have a change once in a while. She can now explain why the concert venue was always filled with energy when she was among their fans. Every single one of the fans out there was having fun, including her. Of course I did.

Other than the soft music playing in the background, the car ride was once again silent and HyunJung had her eyes closed. JaeHwan shifted his gaze to HyunJung from time to time as he focused on the road. He found her side profile to be attractive but the last thing he wanted was for them to get involved in an accident. He assumed that she was probably tired out due to the hours of screaming and he did not want to disturb her rest, so he kept quiet.

In truth, HyunJung was only tired because of the many different thoughts swimming in her head.

Did he really see her back there? Was he missing her like how much she was missing him? She was hoping to stay there, until the whole stadium empties out with the only ones left being the two of them. She wants to feel his warmth when he wraps her in his arms, telling her that all these while when she was gone, he was missing her so much. She hopes that they can spend time together like in the past when they were best of friends. It is okay for her even if they were just friends and nothing more as long as he is together with her.

“Hey, we’re here.” JaeHwan softly patted HyunJung on the shoulder so as not to startle the girl. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at the familiar surroundings. After muttering a thank you, she opened the car door, preparing to step out of the car but was held back by JaeHwan.

HyunJung gave him a questioning look as he returned with a meek smile, “n-nothing, just… good night and rest well!”

Chuckling a little at JaeHwan’s randomness, HyunJung whispered back a soft ‘good night’ before alighting and walking back to her apartment.

-

DongHae had honestly wanted to run after her, but he could not just leave the stage without any permission. Besides, there was someone watching him. The last thing he wanted was to get caught and make HyunJung suffer in any way possible with his rash action. He would never forgive himself if HyunJung were to get hurt.

After returning to the hotel where they would stay for the night before head back to Korea in the early morning, he went for a relaxing shower and took out the laptop that he brought with him on the trip. Lying lazily on the bed, he logged in to his email, and there were thousands of unread mails from his fans. He had always wondered how his email address was known by the fans but that was the least of his concern right now.

He clicked on the folder which indicated ‘Sunshine’ – a nickname he gave her after she left. The day she left, it was like the sun has left his side and his world became dark all of a sudden.

There, in the folder, were all the emails she sent; every single one of them he would read every day but replied to none. In his draft were all the replies he wanted to send back but could not. His hand shakily clicked open a new message page and hesitating if he should email her.

After contemplating for a short while, he decided to follow what his heart had told him to do.

-

For the past half an hour, DongHae had been typing an email, deleting it and repeating the process over and over again. He did not know what to include in the email. His message for her was either, both too cheesy and clingy or the opposite –too casual, as if nothing had happened between the both of them.

Letting out a frustrated groan, DongHae rolled himself over to lay his back on the bed. He then decided to go with the simplest way.

‘Hey,

It’s been a long time huh? How are you doing? I am sorry for all that has happened. I cannot exactly explain why but I really hope that you understand. What I had said before you left was from my heart too. What we had been through, I had not forgotten. Not our memories; not our arguments; not what you had done for me; not my confession; and most importantly, not you. I hope you too, did not forget, because I will never.

I hope you are doing well. Make sure you drink lots of water so that you do not get sick. Never skip your meals because I know you tend to do so when you are busy. If you are tired, rest. Don’t stay up too late because it is bad for your body. That way, you will also be able to get more of your work done if you have enough rest. Lastly, be sure to take good care of yourself when you are alone.

DongHae

-

HyunJung wanted to forgive him, but is a simple ‘sorry’ enough to solve everything? All these while, she was waiting for him to reply to her emails, but she got none in return. Suddenly, he decides to contact her first? What is going on? Does this mean that he really saw her at their concert so he had made the first move to contact her?

She had not once forgotten their friendship, so DongHae does not really have to worry about that. He really did care about her, however. Not a single day passed by without him thinking about her and he had not lived a day without having the guilt eating him from inside out after she had left.

She tried looking for reasons to forgive him, there are countless, she thought. She always forgives him, always, so why should this time be different? Maybe it was because she was beyond hurt. But she told herself that every human being makes mistake and she herself should not be one to judge and blame them for it.

Getting the old photobook of memories out from the top of her book shelf, she flipped through the pages one by one and smiled at the source of her happiness. And by the end of the last page, she made a decision that she hopes she will never regret.

Maybe just one more time. Just this one last time.