This was who Eunhyuk was to Donghae. This was who Eunhyuk really was to Donghae.

His sweet dream. His haunting nightmare.

His channel to joy. His route to grief.

His source of laughter. His spring of tears.

The very reason he continued living. The exact cause he wanted to kill himself.

The destined precious gift from heaven. The unique twinging curse from hell.

Forever Donghae was caught in a whirlpool of torments. The only way was down… down to the never ending doom…

Whenever he was firmly gripped by Eunhyuk’s scariest glare, the only relief was Hyukjae’s lovely pout. Nevertheless that only brought Eunhyuk’s clear and firm pledge of separation into Donghae’s mind; which again made him miss Hyukjae’s oath of love even more…

Every day he strived his hardest to look for the cure, the hope and the road to redemption. Every night he cried himself to sleep heavily chained by frustration, despair and indescribable pain.

Eunhyuk was everything. The sweetness, the bitterness, the happiness, the sadness, the warmth, the cold, the comfort, the horror, the hope, the despair, the strength, the weakness, the destiny, the doom, all mingled and bundled together into a rope. The rope bound him and suffocated him. The harder Donghae struggled the tighter the rope strangled him.

Seriously Donghae felt bit by bit, day by day he’s losing sanity. The guilt was eating him each and every passing second. He was trapped in a prison specifically designed for him in which the cruelest and most terrifying tortures effectively ground his heart into dust, burnt his soul to ashes.

He screamed. He begged. He cried. He pleaded. There’s no way out.

Seriously could the sufferings offered by the devil in hell be more unbearable? Could there be a more brutal way to excruciate somebody? On earth? Or in hell?

Nevertheless one thing Donghae didn’t do. One thing Donghae never doubted. No matter how many times Donghae found himself totally crushed; sometimes the anguish was so intense he thought he would die; there was this one thing Donghae desperately clung to.

The vow.

Donghae never broke his promise.

No matter how much pain, how many hardships it means, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. I’d do anything… I’d give anything… just to have you by my side…

Hyukkie…

……

And I deserve all tortures right…? Who am I to complain? Even the slightest moan is an unacceptable blasphemy… which only adds to my sins…

Donghae let out a bitter smile, recalling the bitter taste… which was still lingering in his mouth…

……

Everyone was speechless.

……

“Hyung… you… you just wanted to save him…” Even though Siwon couldn’t even convince himself, he tried to convince Donghae.

Donghae looked at Siwon for some time. Slowly he shook his head. “He would rather die. I knew it. I was just… being selfish… and stupid…” Now Donghae remembered what Eunhyuk said on the battlefield… Stop being selfish!!!

“Forgive yourself Hyung… You… you didn’t know what you’re doing…” Siwon tried further… even though he knew his words could barely bring any comfort…

Donghae buried his face in his hands. “I imposed the darkest curse on him. That’s what I did…” How could he have done that… to someone so dear to him…? How was it possible on earth that he could have done that…? Donghae could never understand… he could never forgive himself…

“… But…” Siwon was finding it hard to come up with further words…

“Give it back to me.”

Everybody jumped, except Donghae. It was Eunhyuk who spoke.

Since no idea when Eunhyuk was in the guest room. The others were all so occupied with Donghae’s revelation nobody (but Donghae) noticed.

Eunhyuk stepped out of the corner where he was originally standing. His eyes swept from one to the other, expressionless.

Petrified, nobody moved. It was like Eunhyuk had cast a spell on them. They were all vampire hunters (except Henry) but no one had the slightest intention to initiate a fight, not even Mina. They just let their eyes locked on Eunhyuk. They had no idea what they should do; what they should think… or feel…

Eunhyuk’s eyes finally settled on Donghae. “The medallion. Give it back to me.”

Raising his head Donghae looked up at Eunhyuk. He was like a piece of art… coated in ice. His beauty took Donghae’s breath away. Yet his coldness sent shivers down his spine. Eunhyuk was standing right in front of him. Yet at the same time he was so far away. He was out of his reach.

It’s not that Donghae didn’t want to return the medallion. It’s just Donghae wanted to see Eunhyuk longer… even only a tiny moment longer…

The indifferent stare from Eunhyuk made Donghae couldn’t breathe. It’s suffocating. It’s extremely cold. It froze his heart. Donghae couldn’t help shivering.

……

Though he had time until eternity Eunhyuk was slowly getting impatient. Donghae. The medallion.

Those syllables, hinted with tension, spoken in his mind dragged him out of the hypnosis. Shaking of his body got more serious. Donghae was not sure if that’s because of the cold… or the dread… or the pain…

With his trembling hand he reached into his pocket for the medallions. Slowly he took both medallions out. The only 2 platinum vampire hunter medallions…

Lee Donghae.

Lee Hyukjae.

Those 2 names used to be together. They used to belong to each other. They used to…

But it’s over.

Maybe it was just him. Donghae felt a force gluing the 2 medallions together. When he wanted to detach them from one another he felt the force. When he pulled the 2 medallions apart he felt the pain… once again tearing his heart in half…

Once again Lee Hyukjae was wrenched from Lee Donghae…

He couldn’t hold it anymore. Silent streams of tears trickled down Donghae’s eyes. The tears dropped onto the medallions.

Eunhyuk, nevertheless, remained like an ice sculpture. He remained as cold as ice. He remained as still as a sculpture. Donghae. It’s over. Give it back to me.

Those words carried no emotion. It was exactly this, the lack of emotion, which buried Donghae with more sorrow; which made more tears surge out of his eyes.

In front of him, the image of Eunhyuk blurred. Tightening his jaw slowly Donghae extended his hand, handing the medallion to Eunhyuk.

Without a word Eunhyuk took the medallion.

Without another glance at Donghae Eunhyuk turned to leave.

……

“… Eunhyuk…” Donghae whispered. It’s barely audible.

Eunhyuk halted.

Even the biggest meteor shower would halt for that whisper. It contained only 2 syllables. But at the same time it conveyed so much. It carried the pain so agonizing, the regret so deep, the bitterness so strong, the sorrow so unbearable, the desperation so heart-piercing, the anguish so suffocating… through the air into Eunhyuk’s ears. The 2 syllables moved and travelled through Eunhyuk’s eardrums.

Could they have moved his heart and touched his soul?

Donghae closed his eyes. “Before you go… Eunhyuk…”

Donghae took a deep breath and looked down. “There’s an idiot on earth. To this idiot you are the world, you are the dream. You are everything, the only treasure worth pursuing. There’s only you in this idiot’s heart, who loves you only. The idiot thought he could protect and shelter you. He thought he’s able to make you happy, to give you warmth. He thought he’s capable of loving you… And he proved to be the most stupid person on earth.”

Tears flooded his eyes. Donghae continued with shaky voice. “This idiot hurt you. He brought you endless pain you don’t deserve. He’s not worth of your love. He’s not worth to be remembered in your pure and innocent heart. He’s the one who should be bearing the pain and curse inflicted on you. He’s the one who should be burnt in hell.”

He’s almost choked by his own tears. What he was going to say was so heavy it’s crushing him. Donghae was trembling so badly. His voice became husky due to the pain at his throat. “It took this idiot so long to realize this. Tonight this idiot has realized… that his presence in your world hurts you further… brings you more sorrow. If his love, naïve and selfish, merely gives you more burden, this idiot… would let you go… But… before you go… please listen to the idiot’s last plea. There’s no way this idiot can redeem himself… Just… if one day… this idiot manages to find the cure, please… allow him to redeem you…”

……

Time was suspended.

……

The only sound in the room might be droplets of tears splattering onto the floor.

As if he didn’t want to disrupt the silence… without a word… Eunhyuk left.

Hyukjae left.

Donghae… since that moment he lost his dearest… was no longer himself. He was no longer complete.

Actually Donghae didn’t really expect his words could make Eunhyuk stay. Really he didn’t allow himself the tiniest hope. Nevertheless, when Eunhyuk did leave… it hurt… so much…

His heart, already heavily wounded, full of scars and scratches; completely fell apart…

As a relief (maybe), not to Donghae though as he didn’t see it, a stream of tears rolled down the corner of Eunhyuk’s eye…

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A/N: Hyukkie... forgive Donghae plssssssssssssssssssss... *sniffling*

A/N2: Thx for leaving comments even when you're speechless!

A/N3: Inspired by TVXQ's "Before U Go"