The more Donghae reminisced, the deeper Donghae got trapped in those memories. The sweeter those moments were, the more bitter the flavor in his mouth. The more joyful the smile on Hyukjae’s face was, the more unbearable the ache in his heart. The warmer it felt when Hyukjae was in his arms, the more agonizing the cold washing over him.

 

Donghae couldn’t breathe. Those beautiful images were suffocating him, chasing after him, haunting him… He had to get out… He had to stop them… Where’s the way out? Where? There had to be a way out… He had to find it… He had to…

 

The pain nevertheless refused to loosen the tiniest bit of its clutch…

 

……

 

Still holding Donghae’s forearms, Siwon felt Donghae trembling all over. His fingers were again digging into his face. Donghae was drenched in sweat. The pulse in him was racing like crazy…

 

“HYUNG!!!” Siwon tightened his grip on Donghae.

 

Mina and Nina jolted up. “OPPA!!”

 

Standing beside Donghae, Henry’s heart stopped. His eyes widened. He couldn’t speak. Even though he knew his answer would hurt Donghae deeply, Henry didn’t expect this.

 

Siwon tried with all his might to pry open Donghae’s grip on himself. He shook Donghae and yelled as loud as he could. “HYUNG!!! WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!!!!”

 

……

 

Siwon clenched Donghae’s forearms as tightly as he could it was paining him.

 

……

 

Sweat rolled down both Siwon and Donghae’s foreheads.

 

……

 

All others were frozen. They didn’t even breathe.

 

……

 

Finally Donghae’s hands were pried open. He gasped and opened his eyes. Though it had not registered to Donghae who was there, Donghae grabbed Siwon’s arms like his life depended on them. He could do nothing except looking at Siwon with widened eyes, and catching his breath.

 

Siwon was startled (he even shuddered) to see Donghae’s face at that moment. The face was so deathly pale. Those eyes had no focus. Seriously it looked like Donghae had just died and come back to life.

 

Siwon held Donghae firmly in his arms. Gently he patted Donghae’s back. “It’s alright hyung… Forget about what I said… We will find another way…”

 

His voice couldn’t help shaking. Tears rolled down Siwon’s eyes. He had never seen his hyung like this. That shocked him. That pained him. Though he knew what he himself was feeling was in no way comparable to what Donghae was going through, still he felt the pain.

 

That’s why Donghae had worked so hard to bury those memories. They were seriously, really, extremely, very haunting. And… he had not even dug into that moment yet…

 

Silence filled the whole room. Nobody dared utter another word. Nobody knew what to do…

 

……

 

Closing his eyes, Donghae took a deep breath and sat up straight. The next moment he opened his eyes, looked at Siwon in front of him and let out a bitter smile.

 

“Thank you Siwon…” Donghae’s jaw tightened as he struggled to continue speaking.

 

Taking another deep breath Donghae continued. “If there’s no other way… I beg you… I’m sorry Siwon… Please do this for me…”

 

“… Hyung…” Seeing tears trickle down Donghae’s cheeks more tears escaped Siwon’s eyes.

 

Donghae closed his eyes to fight back his tears. “… With Eunhyuk’s blood… turn me into a vampire… Kill us both… I promised I will never leave him… I owe him this much…” Donghae lowered his head.

 

……

 

It was like they had just heard a loud gong.

 

……

 

Suddenly a black shadow flashed and they heard a slap…

 

……

 

One side of his face was burning. Donghae looked up and… to his (and everyone else’s) surprise he saw Nina glaring at him.

 

“HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP?!!!” Tears were overflowing Nina’s eyes. She couldn’t help the shivering of her body. Both her fists were clenched.

 

Corner of twitched. She wiped away her tears, though they just continued coming out anyhow. “He… is… fighting… Eunhyuk… is still… fighting! He’s not… giving up… yet… How can you… give up…? HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP?!!!!”

 

Donghae was left speechless.

 

……

 

Suddenly Nina turned to look at Henry and yelled at him. “Henry!!! Go and figure it out!! What did you study so far?! Did you just waste your time learning nothing?! GO AND FIND THE WAY!!!”

 

Henry was fallen under some spell and for a moment he was actually scared. For some seconds he was wondering if it was really Nina yelling at him. Mina always yelled at him yes. But his another sister Nina was always quiet. She had not even spoken loudly…

 

Just as Henry gulped Mina came and tenderly pulled Nina into her arms. “Nina…” The next moment Nina held her sister tightly. She sobbed aloud in Mina’s embrace.

 

……

 

Flame of the oil lamp wavered. It died out the next instant when stronger wind blew in from the window.

 

That gave Henry goose bumps. Fallen asleep cross-legged holding a book, his head touching the book cover, Henry shivered and jolted up. Due to the sudden motion, countless books and scrolls piled up around Henry crashed down and buried him. Henry screamed.

 

“HENRY STOP PROTESTING! YOU’RE NOT LEAVING YOUR ROOM WITHOUT A SOLUTION!”

 

Henry sighed. Of course that was Mina.

 

With a great deal of effort finally Henry managed to crawl out of the pile. He looked around. So far he was proud of this huge collection of his. He considered it a treasure he was keeping in which you can find “everything” about vampires and hunters. He’s not so sure now.

 

It’s been days since Henry was locked up in his room. He didn’t lock himself up. He was really locked up by his sisters. Never before had Mina and Nina supported him so much in vampire studies. They kept saying he’s obsessed and that he should find himself something else to do.

 

And never before had Henry himself felt fed up by the articles talking about vampires. That’s the difference when you’re doing something out of your own interest; versus when you are forced to do something.

 

He wished he had listened to his sisters and found himself something else to do. He wished he had never started studying vampires… Henry sighed again.

 

If there’s a way… how on earth would it be possible that I don’t remember…

 

Though he’s not even through half of the volume of his collection, Henry himself was quite certain he had never come across anything as such. No one had ever bothered to save or redeem vampires. All articles were just talking about how to stay away from them. How to kill vampires fast and clean.

 

It’s a one way road. It’s well known how human beings were converted to vampires. And then the only destination was eternal doom.

 

Rubbing his eyes Henry rolled over. He stared blankly at the words in front of his face…

 

… in one year’s time…

 

Henry knew immediately which article was on that parchment. He was wondering if he could leave this prison in one year’s time…

 

……

 

Suddenly Henry gasped and sat up. Wait… Some things don’t add up…

 

Frowning and closing his eyes Henry reached out to the very core part of his brain. He thought as hard as he could.

 

He was straining his brain so hard Henry felt his head was about to explode. No… things don’t add up…

 

Without wasting another second Henry scrambled himself up and rushed out of his room. As he ran for the main door of their house he saw Mina stepping out.

 

“I’m going to Donghae hyung! There’s something I need to know!” Henry cried out.

 

Seeing Henry dashing towards her (without slowing down) Mina moved quickly aside to save herself from being knocked over. The next minute both Mina and Nina ran after Henry as fast as they could.

 

……

 

Donghae was standing by the window in the guest room. His eyes were fixed on the sky. He was as calm as a sculpture. Seeing this Siwon didn’t disturb him.

 

For the past few days Donghae was preparing himself. He somehow got the feeling that this moment would come. He had to get ready. And it’s by no means easy.

 

Knocks at the door. Sorry it should be anxious knocks at the door.

 

Donghae quickly turned around. He strode towards the door without hesitation. He couldn’t risk hesitating even for one instant. One tiny such thought would ruin all the efforts he made.

 

His hand on the handle, drawing in a deep breath Donghae opened the door.

 

Henry was standing outside panting. Moments later Mina and Nina appeared.

 

“Donghae hyung! H… How… was he… turned… into… a… vampire?” Henry was still catching his breath.

 

Though he had prepared for days for this question, still it haunted him. Donghae shuddered. He tried his best to remain calm. “Please come in.”

 

Having settled himself on a chair Henry asked again with expectant eyes. “Donghae hyung. How did that happen? How was Hyukjae hyung turned into a vampire?”

 

Donghae looked away, as if by doing so he could escape that moment.

 

That moment…

 

Slowly Donghae turned to look at Henry again. The pain was mercilessly twinging his heart. He worked his hardest to suppress a whimper.

 

……

 

Are you sure you want to know about that moment? Up until now not many people know about it. Eunhyuk knew it of course. Donghae knew it as well. And then Siwon, Henry, Mina and Nina were the 3^rdto the 6^th. I was the 7^th. You want to be the 8^th?

 

OK if you really want to know. Please do this. No please just imagine this.

 

Pick a dagger. A sharp one. Cut your palm deeply until it leaves a deep wound. Until blood is bursting out of it. Take a piece of cloth. Soak it with 70% alcohol. While the cloth is still dripping, smother the wound with it. The alcohol would burn your nerves. Your eyes would squeeze shut and tears would come out. You would feel an overwhelming sensation of pain shot from the cut, through your nerves, directly into your heart like a thunderbolt. Try not to jump.

 

When the wound is freshly closed and you see a scar, pick up the dagger again and peel it open. Bit by bit rip open the wound. Cut it even deeper. When you see blood is again bursting out, this time sprinkle salt onto it… Another thunderbolt would be shot into your heart. You would gasp as the new pain revives and adds to the old, unhealed pain…

 

And then… imagine what if all these actually happen to your heart…

 

And then maybe… you would feel a glimpse of what Donghae would have to go through…

 

Imagine how it feels when your index finger is torn from your hand; when someone violently pulls your hair off; when your limb is being mercilessly screwed off…

 

Forgive me. I am at a loss for words. How am I supposed to describe the pain when your dearest who’s become a main part of yourself was being brutally wrenched from the innermost core of your heart? Who are you after that? Holding on to what’s remained? If there’s any?

 

Physical pain is by no means comparable to emotional pain. You don’t see it. But it haunts you. You don’t try to recall. But you would never forget. You try to push it out of your mind. But it just grips you tighter. You feel it each and every second. The power, the impact, the degree, the length, and the depth of the pain are so intense it changes you and your world forever.

 

But for Eunhyuk… Donghae would endure all pain… and reveal that moment…

 

……

 

It took away their ability to move, to speak, to breathe, to blink. They could only look at Donghae… when that moment was revealed…

 

 

------------------------------------

A/N: OMG!!!! What did I just write?!!! It's so DARK it haunts me!!! *hiding under a blanket shaking*

A/N2: I'm sorry Donghae... I cause you so much pain... >_<