Alex’s point of view

                My plan. What is my plan?

                I don’t have one. I guess I will just wing it. I stared right at the knife coming towards me.

                Here goes nothing.

                Forcing my hands to press flat against the ground I used them to hold my body weight. Lifting my lower body up in the air I kicked the knife out of Jr’s hands. He cursed loudly as the knife clanked against the ground a few feet away from him.

                Just as my feet touched the ground I used my strength to force my arms away the Agent’s grips. I stood tall and proud in my 5’8” glory. One hand on my hip while the other hovered over my gun. I moved away from the Agents putting space between me and everyone. Staring at the fifty and plus Agents I can see their eyes go from me to Jr with uncertainty. They are still deciding who to trust. They know I’m telling the truth, but they don’t want to believe it. I mean would you if you were them? You would believe me because you know my story, but they don’t. They don’t know what happened through my eyes. They just have to trust my words. Jr let out a loud growl in rage forcing everyone’s attention on him.

                “You won’t get away with this!” Jr shrieked.

                “Yes, I will!” I shrugged pulling out my gun aiming it at him. Simultaneously all the Agents pulled out their guns aiming them all at me. I smirked and pulled let my index finger kiss the trigger. Tilting my head to the side staring at Jr with a sadistic smile I fired. The gunshot echoed through the sky as the bullet sped through Jr’s left shoulder. Blood pouring out of the wound rapidly. Jr let out an anguished cry as he clutched his bleeding arm tightly for dear life. “Oh be a man! I was shot through the hip and still managed to run away. That is nothing.” I turned to face Kris. A ghost smile graced her lips as her eyes held guild. I smiled at her as if to let her know it was fine. I know she was probably killing herself inside about it. “Thanks by the way!” I joked. Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she nodded at me.

                “Stop her! Don’t help me, Damn it! Make sure she doesn’t escape!” Jr yelled at the Agents around him. He pushed their helping hands away furiously. Steam seems to be coming out of his ears in his rage. “Get the traitor! Damn it! Kill her!”

                “That’s my cue to leave.” I breathed out turning around towards the entrance of the alley. A satisfied smile on my face as I went to walk away. A couple Agents stood in front of me as if to stop me. I glared at them playfully putting my gun back in its holder. Both of my hands up in surrender I walked towards them. Jr’s continued to howl profanities as he yelled to stop me. I stared at the Agents blocking my path daring them to stop me. “You guys know I am telling the truth. You can’t do anything.”

                “Yes! We can!” I heard Onew hiss in anger as he stepped right in front of me.

 I stared up at him into his dark brown eyes to see grief and anger fill them. I scrunched my face in confusion as he came super close to me grabbing my arms twisting me around so my back was pressing against him. He forced my hands behind my back with such force that I know I will have a bruise. I was facing Jr now to see him standing staring at Onew with a proud smile. His eyes blazing with vengeance. He stood while getting his arm treated by Ailee. I struggled against Onew’s hold pissed off now.

“What the hell are you doing?” I growled lowly at Onew.

“Dracula is stained in blood.” I heard him whisper in my ear.

Dracula? My eyes widen in shock as I remembered the codenames we gave each other in case of emergencies. Junsu. Junsu is hurt? How? Why? My eyes focused on Jr with rage. His smile getting wider just when Ailee put the finishing touches on his wound he started to walk towards us. Completely confident ignoring the Agents staring at him with disappointment. I glowered at Jr loathing his very being. I know he did something to Junsu! What did he do!

“Is it bloodlust or was he staked?” I hissed lowly to Onew. Meaning is Junsu dying or is he already…

“Bloodlust. We have someone who took him away safely.” Onew answered. I breathed out a sigh of relief, but that was short lived. If he is not dead then bloodlust means he is getting there.

“Did..?” I breathed out motioning towards Jr with my eyes. Onew let out a sigh as he nodded his head. I let out a growl of rage as I felt my vision go red. Onew’s hold tightened on my arms as I struggled to get free so I can go launch myself at Jr. I know without a doubt he hurt Junsu. He did it to get to me. “I’m going to kill him!”

“You can’t! You know this will make your situation worse. Listen you will get him later, but right now you need to escape while you can. Don’t go down like this. I know you’re pissed. Put all your anger in devising a plan to take him down. You know until you have concrete evidence you can’t touch him.” Onew whispered in my ear. I shook my head not wanting to listen to him. I want to kill Jr.  

“You look like a rabid animal!” Jr laughed standing right in front of us. His smirked with pride as his eyes landed on Onew. “How does it feel like to be betrayed by your friends?”

“How does it feel knowing I will take you down!” I growled furiously struggling against Onew’s hold again. Jr let out a roar of laughter.

“You won’t touch me. The tables have turned, Alex. I win you lose!”

“We will see.”

“By the way I thought you should know I have caught your little partner.” I narrowed my eyes at his sadistic smile. “Junsu? Really? I would have never guessed. But don’t worry. I took care of him”

“You ing-“ I went to yell out, but Onew tightened his hold on my arms painfully slamming my back to his chest.

“Calm down.” Onew whispered under his breath.

I let out a heavy sigh looking down in defeat. Onew is right. I can’t do anything now. I have to wait till I have concrete evidence against Jr to justify my actions. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt him. I snapped my head back up glaring at Jr’s smirking ugly face making sure he can see the promise for revenge in my eyes. Jr laughed again putting his hand on my cheek pinching it as if I was a child. I growled moving my head making his hand pull away and fall back to his side.

“You lose. I win!” Jr whispered lowly towards me with a satisfied smile. “You can’t do anything now.”

“That’s what you think.” I smirked at him. His face contorted to that of confusion as his raised his dark eyebrows. Before I can give him time to realize what I was gonna do I took action.

I slammed my foot down on Onew’s foot making him howl in pain for I was wearing heels. When Onew bent down to take care of his poor foot his hold loosened on me making my reel my elbow back colliding it with his nose. A sickening crack echoed as Onew clutched his now broken nose cursing heavily. Jr just watched in shock not believing I did that. I smiled at him as I pulled out my dagger from its holder. I can see behind him the Agent’s standing around not knowing what to do. While Kris went to Onew’s aid. I took a step towards Jr grabbing him by his collar with my free hand pressing the knife to his throat with the other.

“You can’t kill me!” Jr hissed. I scowled at him knowing he is telling the truth. If I kill him I would be put to death. I need the proof first.

“You lost your touch, Jr.” I breathed out ignoring his comment. “If you kept on training you would have known I would have done that. You should know either way. Instead of putting all your attention in your traitorous dealings. Do me a favor.” I slammed my dagger into the shoulder I shot. Right on the wound to. Jr screamed out in agony as tears threatened to come out. That’s what he gets. “Hold that knife for me. I will be back for it.” With those as my last words I pushed Jr away making him fall to the ground hand firmly pressed on his wound. He breathed heavily as he cursed out loud. Ailee was the first to respond out of all the agents. She glared at me slightly annoyed she had to redress Jr’s wound. I stared as blood poured out from around the knife. I am still not satisfied, but it will do for now. With a heavy sigh I turned around waving my hand at everyone. “See you later.”

I felt all eyes on me as I walked out the alleyway. Jr’s screams seemed to echo as he yelled at the Agents to go after me. Well that didn’t last long. I picked up my pace now running through different alleyways passing different building’s until I finally reached a populous area. I blended into the crowd with ease peeling off my black sweater revealing my white tank top. Throwing the sweater to the side I passed an open shop that had clothing racks out. As I passed the rack I slid my hand in grabbing the easiest fabric to get. With a smile I slid on the black trench coat. It felt heavy yet loose on my body. I look like a freaking vampire hunter. I should start carrying stakes and a crossbow inside this. I laughed at myself knowing I am a huge dork. I like this. I followed the crowd of people across the street heading back in the direction of the abandoned apartment building.

After five minutes I spotted movement closing in on me at my five o’clock. It was a tall dark figure I can’t get a good read, but they are following me. I let out a sigh. They are persistent I give them that. I picked up my pace carefully weaving my way through the crowd of Russia’s. I looked to my right using my peripheral vision annoyed to see the dark figure still following me. Really now. At least if you follow me don’t let me notice it. In a split second decision I ran to the side crossing the street ignoring the car horns as tires squealed to a stop to avoid hitting me. Once to the other side I didn’t stop I kept running. I only sensed one person. If he followed me through that I can take him down when he catches up.

I weaved through the different people in the crowded sidewalk. Why the hell is it so crowded today? I took in my surroundings almost giving myself a face palm. Of course you are in the market street. I let out a heavy sigh shaking my head. I turned back to the way I came from to make sure that idiot isn’t following me anymore.  Finally. I sighed in relief when I didn’t see him. Now to head back to my dead ex-boyfriend, my lover that is also my target, and a dead mafia boss. I rolled my eye running my hand through my red hair. Great! I am so excited.

I continued on my walking thinking about my situation again. My brain seemed to vibrate in pain as if begging me not to think about it. I shook my head. Whether I like it or not I have to deal with all of this. I bit my bottom lip in concentration still walking now zoning out. Judging by the way the sun is slowly setting as the sky darkened I can tell it’s around seven or eight in the afternoon. Tomorrow I will get my evidence that Hyori sent.

Look out for a kid in red is that she told me. Kid in red? Chewing my bottom lip I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration. Kid in red? There is a coffees shop that just opened near the safe house that I blew up. It was called Kid’s coffee shop. The coffee shop’s theme color was red. That could be it. But Hyori wouldn’t make it that easy. Right? If it was me, I would do that. Hell I would even get a kid dressed in red just for the irony. I smiled at the thought. Knowing Hyori she would do that just for me to have a laugh. That’s it. I nodded my head feeling satisfied with myself. Good job, Alex. You did it. Oh god! I am talking to myself. I’m a .

I wonder- my thoughts were stopped short when I felt a heavy warm hand clamp down on my right shoulder. On instinct I let out a gasp as I grabbed the arm twisting it as I faced the owner of it. Jongup’s face scrunched in pain as he bent to one knee yelling at me it hurts as I twisted his hand harder. I rolled my eyes letting go of his hand watching him rub it while he stood up smiling at me.

“What the hell are you doing? I could have broken your wrist, Jongup!” I yelled. Jongup rolled his eyes in annoyance as he lifted his hands around in exasperation.

“What the hell am I doing? What the hell were you doing running across a busy intersection?” He yelled back.

“That was you!” I slapped his arm in anger. “You I thought you were one of Jr’s men! God you followed me so damn horribly. At least if you are going to follow me don’t let me notice.”

“I wanted you to know I was there!”

“You wanted to know I was there?” I exclaimed. He is such a freaking idiot.

“Look I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to do that?” Jongup sighed running a hand through his hair.  I stared at him flabbergasted. “Maybe I did. But that’s not the point.” I glared at him. Jongup held his hands up in surrender smiling. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me! Just caught me by surprise. You should wear a damn bell around your neck so I know it’s you. I could have broken your wrist thinking you were one of the Agents or even hurt you super bad.” I breathed out continuing my walk.

I can see the abandoned apartment building from here. It is not that far. Just a few more steps and we are there. Jongup walked along side me with a soft smile as his dark brown eyes sparkled in amusement. My heart quickened at the sight. I missed him. No. I shook my head frowning to myself. I can’t.

“Yeah give the guy that’s supposed to be dead a bell to wear around his neck. Genius.” He joked.

“Shut up!”

“How was it?” Jongup asked. I turned my head towards him. I looked at him confused. “With Jr?”

“I shot him and stabbed him.” I shrugged it as if it is nothing new. Jongup shook his head crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you even asking? Knowing you, you were there in the shadows. That’s why you followed me like a back there.”

“You knew I was there?”

“No but I wouldn’t put it past you if you were.” Jongup laughed. “But I did put two and two together when you told me you were the idiot following me.”

“You know me to well.” He breathed out. Rolling his eyes at my comment about him following me.

“Not anymore.” I breathed out sadly. The words escaped my mouth before I could even stop them. My eyes widen in disbelief. Why did I say that? Oh God! I stopped walking to stare at him with guilt. Jongup looked at me in sorrow. The look. I have seen that look before. The ‘I am a child and you stole Christmas from me’ look. “Jongup.” I breathed out lifting my hand to him. I stopped it in mid-air almost afraid to touch him. Thinking he didn’t notice I smiled placing my hand on his broad shoulder. “Jongup.”

“Look if I can turn back time to the day I woke up I would. I would have ran to you to tell you I was alive. I would hold you while you cried in relief. I would have never let you feel alone again. We would have been married with maybe some kids.” He breathed out almost depressed. His eyes never leaving mine as they glazed over as if seeing the daydream. I smiled at him softly placing my hand on his warm cheek. He leaned into my touch closing his eyes. A tear slid down. “But I can’t go back to those days. We can’t. What’s done is done. Now we ….I have to let you go.”

Bam! And like that I felt my heart rip apart into small pieces. My chest clenched in fear as tears threatened to come out. I opened my mouth to protest. To argue. To do something. But nothing came out. No words. Just the opening and closing my mouth like a damn fish. Is this it? I felt the feelings I had when he died come back to me as tears went down my eyes softly. Don’t let me go. Don’t leave me alone.  I clenched my jaw in anger. I am such a freaking sissy. Why the hell am I crying? Why is this affecting me?

Jongup whispered my name as he placed both of his hands on my shoulders. Shaking me slightly to get me to snap out of it. I have to let you go. His words kept replaying over and over again in my head. The scene when Jongup pushed me out the window to save my life clouded my mind. I can feel a wave of depression slam into me. The different memories came back. Us together, me watching his body slam into the dumpster, and all the dark sleepless nights of me wailing to the sky. My eyes widen in horror as I just stared at the ground. Jongup called my name with more panic demanding my attention. To come back to reality.

This was my reality. I lost him. I cried for months. I ing refused to see B.A.P. Any mention of him I was depressed. The memories of that day two years ago haunted me. I drank my life away when I wasn’t taking endless missions. I lifted my head softly staring at him in the eyes. The silence between us almost suffocating. His brown eyes staring at me with panic and worry as he breathed heavily. I have him. He is still alive. He is right here. Why am I like this? He lied to me! He went two years without telling me. He didn’t come for me. Why! Why are my emotions so haywire? Why?

My eyes widen in realization.

I still love him.

I still love him. No matter how much I am hurt by this situation. No matter how pissed off I am! This won’t change. I have always loved Jongup. I always will.

But what about Lee Joon?

What about him? I questioned myself in my head. You love him. No I don’t. Yes, you do. You love him. You might too much of a stubborn to admit it, but you love that man. I let out a heavy sigh. I love both of them, but that is wrong. I can’t love two men at the same time. I have to choose.

“Alex?” Jongup whispered leaning towards me. I just stared with wide eyes as his forehead touched mine softly. His eyes closed as he let out a heavy sigh. “What are you thinking? Please tell me. You’re scaring me.” His warm minty breath fanned my face. “What are you thinking?”

My heart sped up almost bursting out of my chest with each thump. Can I tell him? I felt our bodies coming closer unconsciously as his hands slid down my arms to my waist. Goosebumps rose along the path his hands went. An explosion of heat overcame my body as I stared at his lips. His plump pink lips almost begging for me to forget everything and kiss him. Forget that I have feelings for two men. Forget that he lied to me. Forget he left me alone. Forget he hurt me. To go back to the old times when I had no problems.

But that is running away!

The hands on my waist squeezed slightly pulling me to press against him. My breathing became more rapid as our foreheads still pressed against each other keeping our lips away for now. I can’t do this. Don’t do this Alex. Please don’t do this! Don’t!

“What were you thinking about?” Jongup’s voice breathed out pleading for me to tell him. I let out a sigh. Don’t. Don’t do this, Alex. I kept scolding myself. But it was like someone else took over my body clouding all reason.

“I still love you.” The words escaped my lips before I can even stopped them.

 Jongup’s eyes snapped open with shock. The dark iris moved side to side rapidly as he searched my eyes in disbelief. I need to pull away. This will only confuse my emotions more. This will make everything worse. Stop it-

The person that seemed to take over my body shut off the voice in my head not wanting to listen to it. I don’t want reason. I don’t want to hear about consequence. I just want to be happy. I don’t want to be confused. I don’t want to be crying because I am overwhelmed by emotions. There is too much going on. And I don’t know what to do.

Almost instantly after confirming with his eyes that my words were true Jongup closed the distance. His hands tightened on my waist as our lips moved in sync. Explosions of fireworks seem to happen all around me while all the emotions and love I felt when we were together overcame me. My hands traveled up to his hair, tangling my fingers in his short brown hair I pressed his face closer to mine. The kiss becoming more urgent and desperate as we held each other as if the other would disappear. I let out a gasp as my back slammed against a cold wall, but that didn’t stop the kiss. God! I missed him.

I felt one of Jongup’s hands travel down to my thigh. He squeezed it up as if telling me where he wants it. I rolled my eyes ignoring him as I continued to kiss him. I gasped again as I felt his hand squeeze harder my thigh. This time I listened. I jumped up wrapping my legs around his waist breaking away from the kiss. I breathed heavily trying to regain my breath and sanity. But just after two seconds my lips connected back to his. Jongup kept one hand around my waist holding me up while the other found its’ way under my shirt. Fire erupted through my stomach. Moans escaping my lips in pleasure as he pulled my shirt up. We pulled apart for air resting our foreheads together. His hand tracing circles on my abdomen. A smile covering his face. His eyes lids heavy as they stared down. I looked to see what he was staring at.

“You always said I was a for like Ninja Bunnies.” He joked.

His devilish fingers tracing the tattoo. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Pissed he stopped kissing me. I needed him. My freaking body felt like it was on fire and he wants to make a stupidass comment about my tattoo which I got for him. Damn it.

“Shut up.” I growled slamming my lips back to his. He responded back with the same ferocity.

                “Wait!” Jongup pulling away again. He breathed heavily as he furrowed his eyebrows together.

                “What now!” I growled in rage glaring at him.

                “We can’t!”

                “We can’t?”

                “Yes! We can’t do this, Alex!” He exclaimed.

                “Of course!” I rolled my eyes pulling away from him. I let my feet go back to the ground taking a few steps away from him. Breathing heavily I put my hand on the wall for support. I was frustrated. I was beyond frustrated. I was a pissed off girl. Jongup let out a moan in frustration as he ran his hand down his face. “What the hell is it, Jongup? Do you not love-“

                “God! Alex! It’s not that!” Jongup exclaimed. He walked in a circle fast paced as if he had to pee. I stared in confusion as I tried to regain my breath. What is he doing? “I love you! God, You don’t know how much I love you!”

                “Then what’s the problem?”

                “We can’t do this!” He yelled at me throwing his arms in the air in exaggeration. “Don’t you see this is wrong! What was I thinking!”

                “Will you stop with your fit and tell me what the hell you are talking about! Because right now I am ing because of you and you are not finishing the job. And it’s pissing me the off!” I roared furiously.

Jongup immediately stopped running around like a headless chicken and stared at me. His eyes held sadness and regret. He regrets this? I looked down in sadness holding my tears. I clenched my jaw and my hands tightly. Of course he does! Why the hell did he kiss me then?

“Alex. We can’t do this to Lee Joon.” He breathed out in sorrow.

My eyes widen in shock as I snapped my head back up at Jongup. Oh God! Lee Joon! I got so caught up in the kiss I completely forgot about him. My mind was clouded from everything except Jongup at the time. I forgot about all my problems. I let out a loud groan sagging my shoulders as I looked down. I am such a horrible person. I am no better than a . I say I love Lee Joon then I am having a hot make out session with Jongup. My heart clenched in pain. I feel like I betrayed him.

Not that long ago I finally admitted to myself that I am in love with both of them. Ugh what am I doing! This isn’t me!

“Why am I such a ?” I exclaimed hitting my head with my hand. I tightened my fingers in my hair pulling it as if in punishment.

“Woah!! Hey! Hey! You’re not a .” Jongup tried to comfort me as he took a step closer to me.

“Do not come any closer to me!” I yelled at him putting my hand in front of me almost as if in protection. “I should freaking shot you, Jongup! Why the hell did you kiss me!”

“Me! You kissed me back!”

“But you kissed me first, !”

“I got caught up in the moment and all the that was happening! I wasn’t thinking!” Jongup yelled at me flailing his hands around in panic. He then let out a heavy sigh as he ruffled his hair. “Look clearly you have feelings for both me and Lee Joon. And that kiss just confused you more.”

“You think!” I yelled. It was my turn now to flail my arms around like an idiot. “You have no ing idea how confused I am. Not only do I have all this Jr to deal with, but I have to deal with my freaking heart. It feels like it is torn in two. A part of me loves you and will always love you, but also a part of me loves Lee Joon. But I am too damn stubborn and stupid to admit it. When I do finally see the ing light you kiss me and it went downhill from there. When you kissed me I was overcome by all our memories together. My mind is such a ing mess right now. You don’t even know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think.”

“Maybe you should-“

“Don’t you dare tell me to relax!” I roared at him.

 Jongup held his hands up in surrender as his backed up a couple feet from me. I let out a loud groan as I let myself fall to the ground leaning my back on the building wall he pressed me against earlier. I brought my knees up to my chest rested my head against them. Tears betrayed me as they fell down my face. I heard Jongup let out a heavy sigh as he came closer to me. I felt the warmth of his body sit next to me. I feel like a train wreck. What happened to the stubborn, outspoken, tough pain in the ? It’s like she left and became such a little .

“Listen you’re stressed. And right now you have too much going on to know what to do.” He breathed out. I felt his arm go around my shoulder pulling me to a side hug. He rubbed my arm in comfort holding me tightly. I let out a sigh lifting my head letting the cold air dry my tears. Resting my head on the croak of his neck I took his comfort. “Right now knowing you, you are overcome with so much emotions that you don’t know that to do.” I snorted rolling my eyes at him. “You are acting like this doesn’t affect you. You are pretending to us and even to yourself. You mind is in confusion and a mess as you try to think of other things and not this.”

“Am I in over my head?” I breathed out in a whispered. I hated the fact that I sounded so weak. But with Jongup I was always weak around him.

“No. You not. I just think you’re confused. And that kiss…” He breathed out. “That kiss just made everything worse.”

We stayed silent just sitting on the floor for what seemed like forever. Both of us comfortable with the silence. He continued to rub my arm slowly as he planted a soft kiss on the top of my head. I closed my eyes letting out a sigh.

“Jongup?” He hummed in response. I felt as if something telling me not to talk. Not to ruin this moment we are having, but I have to ask him. I am such a mess right now. I don’t know. “What do we do?”