Jongup’s point of view

                “Alex! Calm down.” I whispered in her ear grabbing her arm softly in warning. She growled at me in warning as she continued to point her gun at Lee Joon with a horrible scowl on her face.

                “No! He is here to kill me!”  She yelled furiously. Her eyes blazing with fire as she glared at Lee Joon. “You think I don’t know you went to America to go after Jr. I was the top agent in my Bureau you probably used me.”

 Lee Joon held his hands up in surrender as he shook his head no. I watched as a flash of sorrow appeared through Lee Joon’s eyes.  I breathed out a long breath. I feel bad for him. He just stood around and watched Alex’s and I’s reunion. It wasn’t pleasant. You don’t even want to know how many times I have gotten slapped by her. But that wasn’t the most painful thing I went through.

 It was watching her tears flow down her face. Seeing through her eyes how much I truly broke her. When I ‘died’ I broke something in her. Something Lee Joon was repairing slowly. Her heart. Now that she saw me. God I don’t even know. Her sobs echoing the room as I held her, it broke my heart. I couldn’t believe that I did that to her. Then she reminded me over and over again between her sobs that I left her alone and that she found the ring. Yes after the Russia mission two years ago I was gonna propose to her, but Jr ruined that. He ruined our lives.

After Alex finally calmed down from her bipolar sobbing. Seriously I love her to death, but during that time one minute she was crying her eyes out then the next she was screaming at me while beating me. Well I deserved it. During that whole time I took everything she gave me. The yelling, sobbing, and hitting. I deserved all that and more. After all that was over Alex let me know that it will take her a while to forgive me, but she was glad I was alive. I could only nod knowing that things will never go back to the way they were. I could still see the disbelief in her eyes every time she looks at me. Daesung then after that asked if we were ok and that made her snap realizing the situation we were in.

So here I am trying to hold back Alex from killing Lee Joon and Daesung. She yelled at them like a savage beast while they just stood calmly with their hands up in surrender.

“Alex, please calm down. I am not here to kill you. At first I admit yes that was my mission, but it……..changed.” Lee Joon tried to explain taking a step towards. His face scrunched in slight pain from stepping on his bad leg. Oh yeah. Almost forgot about the fact I shot him.

 My eyes widen at him in shock seeing him come closer to Alex. I shook my head no. Bad choice Lee Joon really bad choice. She will kick your . My hands tightened on Alex’s arm just as she went to lung at him. She growled profanities at Lee Joon telling him that he is a liar. I held her back as best I could, but she just continued to thrash in my arms. For someone who didn’t know Alex as well as me they would think she was crazy. Even that she wants to kill him first to get over the mission that it was an act. But I know it is not an act. Alex is truly hurt not only by me but by Lee Joon also. She believed in him. She developed feelings for him and now she believes he betrayed her. Like I betrayed her.

“Alex! We have orders to protect you. If you let us explain..” Daesung spoke softly as if he was talking to a rabid animal.

“Orders to protect me? What complete bull!” Alex growled. “Give me one good reason to not kill you before you kill me. I know you’re here to finish your job.”

“We aren’t. If we were then you would have been dead now.” Lee Joon let out in frustration glaring at Alex. That is true.

“Yeah. Right. Joonie, you read my record. You know that I am capable of becoming my own army. You wouldn’t be able to kill me.” Alex snorted. She laughed darkly.

That is also very true. Alex could be her own small army when she puts her mind to it. Actually if you piss her off enough. You see Alex has a temper and if I remember correctly if she is pissed off to the core she blacks out. She basically turns into an evil sadistic when that happens. No one can stop her. Not even me.

I stared at Lee Joon with a serious gaze. The only way to get her to believe him is if he tells her the truth. If he tells her that he loves her. Almost immediately at the thought I felt my chest clench in pain. What will she do? Will she go to him immediately? Did I really lose Alex? What did I expect? I chuckled to myself shaking my head. I was the past Lee Joon is the man she wants now. She is just too stubborn to act on it. Looking to the girl in front of me yelling profanities I sighed. I already decided before she found out I was alive that I will leave her in Lee Joon’s care. It is for her to be happy. She needs to go to him not me. But like Lee Joon told me earlier today. Can I really do that? No I have to. God! I hate this so much.  

And with that thought I let her go taking a step back. Alex immediately stopped yelling lowering her gun she faced me with wide shock eyes. I smiled softly at her nodding my head as if telling her it is alright. Now you would think she would understand and nod back understanding what I am trying to tell her. But no! This is Alex we are talking about. Of course, she turns her anger at me.

“Why the hell did you let me go?” She yelled at me. “You know I could kill them!”

“You won’t.” I simply stated staring at her with a knowing gaze. Daesung and Lee Joon just stood in shock behind her standing at us curiously. They are probably wondering what the hell is going on.

“Yes! I will!”

“No! You won’t!” I breathed out. I shook my head at her in emphasis. “I know you, Alex. The only reason I held you back was because you want someone to hold you back. You don’t want to feel what you feel. You are fighting with yourself. You don’t want to believe them because you are too damn stubborn!”

Her eyes widen in shock. I am right and she knows it.

“No! I will kill them!” She yelled telling it more to herself then me. I just shook my head at her with a small smile on my lips. “I will. They came here to kill me! You don’t know remember you were dead for two years.”

“If they were here to kill you then why am I still alive?” I asked. She doesn’t know that I have been watching over her  for the past two years. Protecting her. If she knew she will kill me for not telling her I was alive.

“Because they don’t know our history!”

“No. They do know our history. When I revealed myself to Lee Joon he instantly recognized me without a second thought. He knew who I was and the first thing he asked me was if you knew. When I told him no he then ed at me that I need to tell you.”

Alex turned towards Lee Joon in astonishment. She couldn’t believe what I told her. Of course this is Alex we are talking about. She is having a stubborn war in her own head about Lee Joon. I let out another sigh repressing the urge to grab her holding her close to me possessively. I can’t get jealous I have no right anymore.

 “Did you really?” She asked him. Lee Joon nodded at her sullenly. “How? All Jongup’s files are erased.”

“Not all. We have a copy of the autopsy report and also Jaejoong told me the rest.” He breathed out. I rolled my eyes at the same time as Alex. Of course that erted loud mouth told him. Jaejoong was part of the South Korean Bureau there is no doubt that they knew each other. Speaking of Jaejoong I wonder how he is. He better not have called dibs on Alex while I was gone. Knowing him he tried to flirt his way to her pants, but was unsuccessful. I smiled despite the situation. Knowing Alex it was very unsuccessful.  “Do you still believe we are going to kill you?”

She stayed silent. I watched her bite her bottom lip as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She is still at war with herself. I shook my head at her why can’t she just accept it. Still staring at her I couldn’t help, but smile at her lovingly. She is still the same. Biting her bottom lip when she is concentrating super hard. Even when she finally stopped crying she did that cute thing she always did when her nose was stuffy. She wiggled it like a bunny would. If I ever told her that she will kick my for calling her cute then stare at herself in the mirror to see if she actually does it. Still the same. Sure I think her temper got worse, but can you blame her. I know I don’t. I don’t blame her for all the flaws she has now. Because they are my fault.

“Alex.” Daesung spoke making her look at him. He ran a hand through his blonde hair with a sigh. I stared at Daesung with a warning look. He better not say something stupid making Alex go off again. “Our mission at first was to get information from you about our agency. Then when it was done Lee Joon was supposed to kill you.” Idiot. Alex clenched her fists at her side. Her hand tightening on her pistol.“But something changed. We got more involved in your problems. We started to care about you not wanting for you to get hurt. When I talked to my Boss last time he told us to protect you at all cost because someone infiltrated the higher ups. Whoever infiltrated our higher ups wants you dead.”

Alex stared at Lee Joon with a serious gaze. It was like she was asking him if it was all true through her head. Lee Joon’s eyes stared at her with the same serious expression while he nodded slowly. Finally putting her gun back in its holder Alex let out a heavy sigh. Without realizing it I let out a breath of relief. She won’t kill them yet.

“Do you know who?” I asked looking at him and Lee Joon. They both shook their heads. The only person I can think of that wants Alex dead would be Jr and.. I focused my attention on the Russian gang leader currently holding the most sadistic smile staring at us. “What do you know?” I growled glaring at him. Everyone turned giving Vadim their attention. Vadim let out throaty laugh.

“I do not know what you mean?” He laughed again his smile getting wider.

 I took a step forward to hit him, but Alex beat me to it. She marched right up to Vadim her face laced with hatred as she sent her fist flying to his jaw. Then without hesitation or even giving Vadim time to react she lifted her foot taking a knife out of her boot slamming it down on Vadim’s thigh dragging it up towards his groin. Vadim screamed in agony as tears went down his eyes. Lee Joon, Daesung, and I could only stare in horror not able to stop her. Hell I can’t stop Alex from this. The bastard deserves everything she will do and more. He ruined us.

“Tell us now before I make you regret crossing paths with me!” Alex growled. She pushed the knife a little more up. Vadim screeched for her to stop, but she only took out another knife slamming it down to his other leg. “Tell me before I do the same thing to your other leg. You know I wonder how long will it take you to bleed out and die. You already lost a lot of blood.” She laughed darkly as Vadim stared at her in horror.

“A Russian will never give in to you pathetic Americans.” He spat out glaring at Alex. I shook my head. He just made his situation way worse.

“Oh you will answer me.” Alex chuckled. She dragged both knives up until they were parallel to each other. Any more up Alex could cut off the man’s important part. “I know Russians love to reproduce. I wonder how far you could get without…” She dragged the knives up a little more. Her eyes burning with a raging fire as she smiled sadistically.

“Shouldn’t we stop her?” I heard Lee Joon breath next to my ear. His eyes wide with horror as he stared at Alex then at me. “I don’t think Daesung can take any more of this.”

I turned towards the blonde said man to see his face completely filled with terror and disgust. His pale skin now turning into a light green. His dark brown eyes shook as if wanting to look away, but can’t. I felt my eyes soften in sympathy knowing he will never see Alex’s torture. And if she actually goes through with cutting off the man….I shivered at the thought that is just inhumane. It will forever haunt all of us.

“Say something you bastard!” Alex screeched pulling out one of the knives to only stab again in the same spot. Vadim cried out. Alex leaned her face closer to him so the only thing he can see is her. “Do you know what you put me through? Do you know what it was like being pushed out the window by someone you love? To be saved by him. Thinking he was dead and was killed in the worst possible way. Do you know what’s it like finally getting the courage to clean your shared apartment to only find an engagement ring hidden? You don’t know that amount of pain you put me through you worthless piece of . So you owe me. You owe an explanation as to why you ruined my life.”

I let out a heavy sigh as fresh tears went down Alex’s eyes. She took out the knife again to only press it to Vadim’s throat. The Russian gang leader just stared up at Alex with a cold expression. No remorse what so ever in his eyes. I focused my gaze back at Alex. She will never put it in her past. She will never turn back to the way she was. Even if I am still alive that event traumatized Alex. No matter how good of an agent she is.

“I can’t come between them.” I heard Lee Joon muttered to himself.

 What is he talking about? I turned to him to stare at him in shock. He just stared at Alex with a despressed expression even Daesung looked at Lee Joon with sympathy. No! No! I need to tell him that any future Alex and I would have had is broken. Completely. If Alex still loves me then it won’t be the same. She won’t be happy with me. Just because I love her with my whole heart doesn’t mean I am going to make her stay with me. I would want her to move on. Be happy with someone else even if it is not me.

I have to let Lee Joon know this. He needs to know. He is the only one I trust to take care of Alex and keep her happy. I went to open my mouth to say something, but I was cut off my Vadim’s voice. He is talking. I turned in shock towards him to see him tell Alex information.

“You think I was the one to ruin your life?” Vadim breathed out in Russian. He is too tired and hurt to even attempt English. “Why don’t you look at the man who is above you? Two years ago he hired me to capture you and him.” Vadim continued to speak quickly glancing at me. “I was paid a lot of money to get your document and kill you both. But what your Boss didn’t know is that I wanted the document for myself. It was a win win for me, but you two were clever. The document slipped from my hands as well as did both of you. That is all. I should have killed you when I had a chance. Tortured you until your very last moment.”

“I feel like there is more.” Alex growled putting more pressure on the knife against his neck. The knife was completely covered in blood from his leg. I watched as Vadim glared at Alex as if promising her vengeance. “Tell me before I slit your throat.”

“If you do that then you won’t find the tracker on me.” He breathed out. We all immediately froze. Tracker? I checked him when I dragged him here. He didn’t have a tracker on him. “Soon your leader will be here …..to kill you all.”

! Alex snapped her head towards us mirroring our shocked faces. Without hesitation I as well as Lee Joon marched right up to Vadim kicking his chair back so he can fall on his back. Lee Joon let out a loud hiss clutching his bad leg. Vadim let out a deep grunt upon having contact with the floor. This bastard.  Lee Joon took out one of the knives from Vadim’s leg while I grabbed the other from Alex’s hand. We growled in anger as we both held the knife threatening towards him. Lee Joon had his on Vadim’s throat while I had mine digging into his shoulder. We are not ting around anymore.

“Where is the tracker?” Lee Joon hissed pressing the knife against his throat.

“I am already dying…. there is no point in me telling you anything.” Vadim answer staring at us in defiance. I let out an annoyed sigh as I dug the knife deeper into his shoulder.

“We can make you go peacefully or painfully.” I growled.

“Russian men…”

“Answer them Vadim or I will finish my cutting down there.” Alex pushed staring at Vadim’s groin.

“Please don’t.” I heard Daesung muttered as the sound of him running out the room echoed. You can hear him letting out the contents of his stomach just in the hall.

Vadim’s face immediately paled seeing how serious Alex was about that. He believed she was joking? I looked over Vadim realizing all the damage we did on him. It’s amazing he is still alive. Well he is Russian; they are trained to handle pain. But honestly I kind of feel bad for him. The poor bastard is covered in deep wounds and his own blood. Everywhere around him is his blood. It dripped down like a river to the ground. He won’t make it for another hour. His eyes are already trying to force themselves closed as his head went to the side weakly. His breathing slowed. Noticing this Alex pulled out her gun shooting Vadim’s finger. His eyes widen tears streaming as he let out a toe curling scream.

“I don’t have time, Vadim.” Alex tormented.

“Fine…I was supposed to activate it when…” Alex shot another finger letting him screech like a banshee again. By this point Lee Joon was standing next to me behind her with a passive expression. “Stop shooting! Damn it……….. Just let me die without pain ……..and in peace.”

“Then hurry up.”

“Fine…activate …tracker..when you arrive. That is what …Your…boss. Has told me.” Vadim breathed out. He is dying now. He is holding on to the little life he has. His eyes closing softly. Alex lifted her gun towards his head. “Tracker…in …boot.”

“For answering your death will be quick.” Alex breathed out immediately shooting Vadim in the head ending his life.

 I just stood there watching as she took off his boot with a cold expression. Just when the boot came off the small square fell to the floor blinking. Alex grabbed the tracker in her delicate hands. Standing up again she made her way towards the door. Lee Joon and I must have thought the same thing because we both grabbed her arms stopping her. Alex turned towards looking at us. Her dark eyes seemed to not hold any life in them.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked.

“You heard him. American agents are following this tracker I have to get it out of here.” She breathed out indifferent. I watched her suspiciously. I know what she is doing. She can’t do this again.

“It is too dangerous, Alex.” Lee Joon scolded shaking his head at her. Alex chuckled darkly to herself.

“We all know I am the only one that can do this. If the agents come here then we have nowhere else to hide under their rader. This is the perfect place. Anyways who is going to go?” She breathed out. She looked at me. “You’re supposed to be dead.” She then looked at Lee Joon. “You aren’t supposed to be here at all. Let alone know what I am.” She snatched her arms away from us with a glare. “This is war.” Alex breathed out walking towards the door.

“Alex!” Lee Joon yelled as went to go follow her.

 I quickly put my hand on his shoulder stopping him. Lee Joon snapped his head towards me. His eyes wide and filled with different emotions mostly anger and fear. I just let out a sigh shaking my head at him. She is mentally long gone. Just one look in her eyes I knew. All she wants now is blood. Even with that she is still completely right. The tracker can’t stay here and she is the only one that can take it out. But we can go after her in the shadows and provide cover if something goes wrong. She won’t know it.  

“I’ll be back boys.” She breathed out waving her hands. And with that she walked out the room leaving us to stare at the closed door alone without her.  God she loves making everything difficult. Please be careful.

“Why did you not stop her?” Lee Joon yelled at me. “Why did you stop me? I could have stopped her!”

“No you can’t.” I answered running a hand through my short brown hair. I walked to the side of the room passing Vadim’s dead body towards the cabinets on the wall. With a heavy sigh I opened them revealing them filled with different weapons.  “No one can.”

“Yes we-“

“No we can’t! Look Lee Joon I know Alex.” I yelled at him stopping him from arguing with me. “Once she sets her mind on something no one can stop her. Right now she has a whole bunch of going through her mind. Different emotions wanting to come out. So she is letting anger take over her while she only focuses on the easiest thing for her to handle” I loaded some weapons on me. “All we can do is follow her and protect her from the shadows.”

Alex point of view (excuse the language)

                “I’m going to ing kill him!” I muttered to myself running out of the abandoned apartment building. I have to go west and as far away from here as I can. The Agents will catch me I know they will. I want them to.

                That Jr. I swear I will kill him. He hired Vadim two years ago. Even now. Jr knew I would go after Vadim so he gave him a tracker to activate when he sees me. I let out a yell in frustration as I punched a buildings walk next to me. Ignoring the pain I continued to yell. I can feel the rage flow through my body wanting me to kill someone. And no I am not on my period if you think that. I need to keep running. Shaking my head I started towards west again going through alleys making sure to keep out of sight.

                Jongup is alive. He is alive. I thought he was dead, but he is alive. My chest clenched in pain as the thought came to me. Why didn’t he tell me earlier? Why did he leave me alone for two years? Was I not good enough to come back to? Tears threatened to come down. No. I should be pissed at him. He was alive and he didn’t tell me. That bastard doesn’t deserve my tears anymore. He knew about this and he didn’t tell me. I was depressed for nothing. He left me alone drinking away my life. I wasn’t good enough. That ing bastard. When I am done with all this I will kick his !

                When I found out he was alive I couldn’t believe it. The relief and sadness and even anger confused me so much. I just broke down crying. He let me cry. In front of everyone I broke down crying while he held me. He didn’t deserve to touch me for putting me through all that, but I still let him touch me. I let him hold me telling me he is sorry. Sorry my . He doesn’t know what I went through. I even let him hold me back from killing Lee Joon and Daesung.

                Lee Joon. God another ing problem. I don’t even want to go into that . I clenched my jaw in anger as my heart picked up its pace. I don’t know what to ing do. I don’t know. I hate this . I hate not knowing. My ex and my target in the same room. My heart seems in turmoil because I still have feelings for both of them.

                When I found out Jongup was alive I admit a small part of me wants to go back to him. But I can’t. I can’t trust him. He didn’t tell me he was alive. He is a ing liar! Then when I found out Lee Joon is not out to kill me, but instead to protect him. I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t. I can’t. Not in front of Jongup. ! I don’t know.

                I stopped running finally taking in my surroundings. I’m at a dead end. . Alex who told you to get lost in your thoughts. I breathed heavily swallowing my spit. I am a good distance from the apartment. I walked from the way I came to exit out of this dead end. God! I am supposed to be thinking about Jr and ways to take him down, but here I am thinking about my own ing love problems.

                “Ugh!!” I growled to myself as I ruffled my red hair roughly. “Focus Alex.”

                “Yes! Focus Alex!” I heard a familiar annoying voice let out darkly.

 I snapped my head up to see an army of Agents blocking my way to leave. Jr standing right in front of them with a sadistic smile. Onew and Kris standing behind him with an unreadable expression. My eyes widen in shock seeing behind them at all the agents standing there. Hyori told me he brought Agents with him, but she didn’t tell me he brought the whole ing Bureau. I stared at Jr with a strong glare as I crossed my arms over my chest.

I need to focus at my problem at hand now. When all this is done I will deal with Jongup and Lee Joon. All my attention needs to focus on this betraying tard. Jr stepped towards me making me step back. The smile in his face getting wider loving my reaction.

“Sent the Bureau after me Jr?” I asked tilting my head to the side. “I’m guessing there are sniper’s on the roofs around me ready for your order to shot me?”

“Why don’t you come with us quietly then?” Jr spoke. “You’re cornered with no way out. You can’t escape.”

“See I don’t do quietly.” I breathed out glaring at him. “I wonder do all of these Agents know what you are doing? Do they know the truth?” I then focused my attention on the Agents behind him. Seeing their familiar faces stare at me with betrayed eyes. “How much do you really know about Jr? You all know since the day he took over the Bureau that he has been different. Shady even.”

“They don’t care cause they are loyal to me!” Jr growled in anger. “I would watch your words Alex.”

“Or what? You will silence me?”

“Yes!”

“Then that means I am telling the truth!”

“No! That means I don’t have time to hear your lies!”

“Think about it guys!” I addressed the Agents ignoring Jr’s seething form. “You all know me! You all know my personality. I wouldn’t do anything without it having a reason. I am too lazy.” I then turned back towards Jr pulling out my gun aiming it right at him.

“You have gotten more dumb, Alex. You know you can’t shot me. We have you surrounded. We will kill you instantly.” He smirked satisfied that I am alone. I shook my head at him lifting the tracker up throwing it at him. “You found it.”

“Yeah. Sadly the man that had it died, but you will join him soon.”

“Go ahead!” Jr challenged. Oh what I would give to wipe that smug smile off his damn face. I let out a long breath lowering the gun. Upon lowering my gun the agents immediately moved grabbing me. Ridding me of weapons while Jr just laughed. His laughter booming to the sky while the Agents forced me to my knees. “I win you lose!” He let out as he stood right in front of me. I felt his warm disgusting hand under my chin forcing me to stare at him in the eyes. If looks could kill he would be 20 ft. under right now. “You made this so easy for me.”

“I will kill you for setting me and Jongup up! For hiring the Russian gang leader to go after us.” I yelled struggling against the agents hold. Their hands tightened painfully on my arms while their held my arms behind my back.  “You think you will get away with all this! Get away with the fact that you are working with the North Koreans.”

Jr’s eyes widen in shock. But then he quickly masked his face. I watched as his jaw clenched furiously. His dark eyes blazed with bloodlust. Nose flaring like a ing animal. I smirked despite having my odds against me. I let my eyes go towards Onew and Kris to see them behind Jr staring at me with worry. They want to do something. I can Onew’s hand itch towards his pistol, but with one look from me he stopped. He knows I must have a plan.

Hell. I don’t know the plan right now. Everything is a mess. Everything is crazy. don’t make since. I can hear the agents murmur behind me about everything I said. They are taking Jr’s silence as confirmation that it is true.

“You can’t prove anything!” Jr hissed. “You are just saying all this to try to better your situation.”

“Really? Then why are you acting the way you are?” I challenged. “If I am just saying this then why are you so damn pissed off?”

 Silence.

“Enough of this!” Jr roared. Wow I can see his veins popping out of his head I thought that was only an anime thing. Jr pulled out a dagger from Onew’s holder aiming towards me.

                I watched in slow motion as he aimed the sharp knife towards me as Onew and Kris tried to stop him. I can feel the hands on my arms loosen slightly as sharp gasps echoed around us. My plan. What is plan?

                I don’t have one. I guess I will just wing it. I stared right at the knife coming towards me. Well here goes nothing.