I've always been the first or second in elementary and middle school without doing any hard study. But lately, i get my score's down. But i don't do anything with that. Then, I've just realized my mom compared me with my sister. At first, she just compared my Laziness with her. She said that i'm too lazy so my score is down. So i tried to study harder, but it seems like doesn't made any change. But then, my mom start to compared me with my sis in a little thing, like she can cook while i can't. It's made me lazy for real, and even i skip schools because i felt i'm too lazy to go to school. It's made my school score more down, and even i'm not reach 10th place. It's make my mom angry for real, but it seems i don't have any passion to get my score back.

Sweetie, I think you may be sabotaging yourself.

Most of subconsciously do this to make ourselves feel better. You may not realise it but I think you may be feeling insecure and bitter about living under your sister’s shadow and you may be deliberately undermining yourself. This may baffle you but as many of the other waiters have mentioned, the subconscious is a lot stronger than the conscious. Let me give you an example to enhance your understanding of why you might be sabotaging your own success:

Skye is a girl. She’s in senior year and in one of the top state schools and has an excellent academic record on top of numerous extracurricular achievements. However, she is constantly compared to her equally well achieving peers and despite being optimistic and smart, can’t help but feel annoyed when this happens. Why should she be compared to others by her parents, isn’t she already good enough? She’s a little lazy and doesn’t do her homework on time and her friends find it amazing she can get excellent essay marks when she writes it twenty minutes before it’s due, no editing done whatsoever. In reality, even though she doesn’t realise it she’s quite insecure and feels like she isn’t special. In order to make herself feel better, she procrastinates and doesn’t act at her full potential. This way she can tell herself she never tried and this way she can avoid failure since she knows she could always do better.

Darling, this may be your case. I can’t really help you unless you start to realise your own psychological barriers that you’ve put up to hinder your own success. Instead, I suggest you do some good self-reflection and then come back and update me, yeah?

- Much love, Daehyun ♥

(Author’s ramblings: Your story is incredibly similar to mine. Without studying too hard, I got into a pretty decent school and whatnot but then my grades started dropping. It wasn’t that I was getting dumber, it the fact that everyone else was trying a lot harder and they were on top of the game while I was well…. Kind of lazy. You need to step up your game, it isn’t just a matter of studying harder but you need to do it more efficiently as well. I’m sure you’ll be able to elevate your success since you seem quite intelligent but with some effort, you’ll be able to retain your top scores :D)