why is life being so hard for a teenager like me? i cried every night thinking that the people surrounds me hates me. at home, i seldomly talk anymore. because, there's nothing to say. in school, i would act like there's nothing has happened. i know that my friends hates me, i know. its noticeable. whenever i tried to in in their conversation, they will stop talking and walks away. any suggestion? should i give up trying to talk to them and shut up?

Girl, one thing you should not do is shut-up.

I believe that your lack of confidence and lack of comfort in communicating with other people is because of your insecurity (maybe a slight inferiority complex). Think about it clearly, you obviously have not done anything to warrant such hate and if people are manipulating you to feel that way, you need to ignore them. I presume you are feeling lonely and the fear of losing even more people makes you shut up completely because you just don’t want to get in their way. Your friends (by what you describe to oppa) do not appreciate you and have done nothing to raise your spirits so I think it’s best for you to distance yourself from that negativity. I know it’s difficult and hard to make new friends or to speak up but you need a fresh start and people who will make you feel positive about yourself. Essentially, what your “friends” are indulging in is a form of bullying called “inclusion”. They are not including you in their circle and subtly giving ou hints to leave them.

People are emotional sponges, some are less porous than others and some are more solid. They soak up the emotions of other people, which is completely normal but sometimes people soak too much of what is around them which then in turn can make them think and act negatively. Personally, I believe you may be a little too vulnerable to this and as I mentioned in the above paragraph, you need to distance yourself from that. Another really important thing is that you need start building the foundations for a healthy level of self –esteem. As some of the other oppas/unnies/noonas/hyungs have mentioned in their previous conversations with beloved customers, they also believe that self-esteem is essential in having a balanced life-style and stable mental well-being. 

Honey, don't be disheartened. We've all been at that stage of our life which we think . When i was in high school my parents ignore my passion for music. At this, i was upset, but i stood for it and tried again. Not everyone around you hates you. Try to to talk more at home, however dreary the topic is, even if there is nothing happening. And talk about yourself. Even as arrogant as that sounds, if you don't talk about yourself, no one will truly be able to know the fabulous you. Your friends can't hate you if they don't know you. You can choose to stay with them, though it might take awhile to open up again, it could be worth it. But if you just can't do that, you can also walk away from them. You can start over with a new group of people who don't know you. And with them, you can show the real you. Whatever you do, don't give up and be confident in yourself. We all have hardships and obstacles in our lives and you can be the one who flies past them with time, proving how amazing you are to everyone. 

And if you need a friend, we'll always be here. :)

-Love, Kim Sunggyu ♥

(Author ramblings: I feel horrible for you, that’s a terrible situation to be in and to be completely honest, you may of read before that I personally hit a slump this year and my self-esteem hit an all-time low. I’ll share some of my tips to regain that x-factor in your life. Take baby steps and challenge yourself more and more, speak up in class or maybe apply for a job. There are so many good resources online for this and so many positive people to learn from that even if you don’t have that in your life, you can immerse yourself in it in your spare time)