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I am having difficulty coping with the 'jokes' that my friends make. I am that one girl in the group where everyone makes fun of, not in a serious way of course. I understand that they're not being serious but lately I have been feeling that it has started affecting me negatively. People think that I am the kind where I constantly laugh, make jokes and never get offended but I am weaker than that. I tend to show others that I am impossible to offend but that's not the truth, I do tend to cry easily but just not in front of people. People keep assuming that they know or understand me but I truly don't think they do. They believe that I am that social butterfly who can get along with any guy or girl but that's not the truth. I have matured from the previous years and I have changed attitude and personality wise. I am more reserved now and I choose my friends wisely, in all honesty I do not have many guy friends but I do know of a lot of guys. I wish that other people can just understand that I am not the kind of person they make me out to be, I wish there is somebody out there who can see and understand my true self so that one day I can finally be the person who I really am. They say that sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me, but I feel that sometimes the pain that you get from other people’s words hurts you more than getting hit or shot. The words that gets said feels like a constant torture to one’s mentality and it won’t be long until that person falls apart. Can someone please save me before I fall and break into pieces.
Darling, let it bounce. Even though people might make jokes, you know they care about you, yeah? Show them how much you have matured. Show them how much you have learnt over the past years. If they still hurt you, ignore those people. Go far away from them and keep confidence in yourself. And you can tell them to stop making fun of you, even if it is suppose to be friendly, and that enough is enough. Me, being both the maknae and having the image of a boy prettier than girls, I get teased alot and am ordered around. Of course they are just jokes, but sometimes i just can't be bothered to put up with it. Know your limit and don't push it. If anyone does push at your tolerance, tell them to back off. We all have our ups and downs in life and we just need to pull through it and keep strong. And remember, if you ever need someone to lean on, we'll always be here for you. :) - Love, Ren ♥
Sweet-heart, its okay to feel that way, (imagine how much Ren is called a girl everyday?) Being an idol is to be an entertainer, to be perpetually happy even if we may be dying on the inside. I know exactly how you feel the pressure to be everyone’s rock, to pretend to not be insulted or offended when someone hits a sore spot with a remark simply because you have the reputation of being easy-going. It’s normal as a teenager (this is what I’m assuming, or at least you’re in your early twenties) to be maturing and to change personality wise. It’s good that you’ve become more reserved and that you manage your friendships with more integrity and sincerity. There are always sides to us that we simply don’t show to other people (maybe because we’re uncomfortable or because it’s a psychological self-defence mechanism) and to be read like an open book is often insulting. When someone thinks they know everything about me, I personally feel a little offended because no one can assume that they’re intelligent enough to know every single element of mine. I have never ever believed that words can never hurt you. The social pressure is enough to break the strongest man. To be frank, there is no real solution to your problem because everyone has some degree of inferiority complex and society is filled with double standards. I’ve learnt the hard way that the moment you open your mouth to voice your problems, people immediately take it the wrong way and suddenly think you’re an attention-seeker or worse simply because they’re not used to the fact that you’re just as human as they are. I believe you should confide in someone very close to you, preferably a friend (who you think is mature and considerate) because parents don’t seem to take this kind of thing well and tell them how you feel. You can never stop people from trivialising your feelings simply because they don’t know but maybe drop subtle hints like: “Hey that makes me a little uncomfortable” or maybe a joking “That’s a little mean!”. Never directly tell anyone that you’re insulted and breaking apart because they’ll feel the need to defend their own actions defensive people are usually… well quite angry. Just don’t rush things and communicate slowly and remember to be extremely diplomatic. It’s also important to remember that people do care for you and by being super easy-going and stuff, people might worry about what you’re concealing. No one is completely heartless so you shouldn’t feel the pressure to constantly smile and be happy. It’s okay to be human once in a while. Remember that. -Youngmin ♥ |
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