*sits down on seat and curls feet up close to her chest*

Hi, I'm the under achieving average person from an over achieving family. Well, somewhat. I'm  average. Everything about me has been average since the beginning of time. I'm not the best looking of the sisters (two of us, my older sister is the pretty one), nor am I as talented as my older sister. I do decently in my academics and  decently in sports, but people expect so much more from me and I know I'm capable of so much more. Yet there is nothing that really interests me at all. I mean, I love my subjects, but I can't seem to do well in them and how much ever effort I put into my academics, I can't seem to match up to my sister who has done so well for herself, she's gotten into the best school in our country and then later went to Oxford. And when I applied, I didn't get into the best school, and had to make do with whatever my city has to offer. Sure, it wasn't a bad experience, but then again, I'm still shunned at any family gathering where people flock around her because she's brilliant enough to get into 'Oxford'. I'm just the regular one who no body remembers.

Another thing is that I've taken subjects that aren't respected in my country and my sister didn't. My dad is trying to be supportive but he can be extremely harsh and tell me that even though I've taken 'pansy' and 'easy' subjects, I'm still not able to do well in it. He even said he gave up on me. *wipes tears* and it hurt a lot. My only support is my mother, who is slowly losing faith in me. I'm slowly losing the little confidence I have in me. But academics is not the only thing that destroys my confidence it's relationships.

My sister is pretty. I'll admit, she does have her flaws too as much as I do (and i love her dearly. like sooo much) But I've seen guys fall for her because she's a pretty face (she has a terribly bad temper and a huge ego too). But never has a guy taken interest in me. I'm directly friend zoned by every guy I know, and every guy Ive liked has ended up liking one of my close friends. Does that mean that I'm not pretty? Because I know the guys here fall for pretty faces. But I've come to accept it somehow.

I'm just tired of being average and under achieving.

Thanks for listening to me. *smiles weakly*

Darling, let me reiterate, no one is a failure.

Recently, I read an interesting book on procrastination and realised a lot of my own lack of success was due to my own need to sabotage myself. You may balk and ask oppa if he’s insane but you mentioned that you knew yourself you could do better and I feel like you may be in the same boat as me. People sabotage themselves for fear of success and also from their own sense of inferiority, of which I think the latter applies to you more. And just an apology, sorry that oppa took so long to come around, Eunhyuk caused a catastrophe in the kitchen so I had to go back him up. You say that no matter how much effort you put into your academics, you can never excel. That’s not true. Take a good look at yourself and for once, instead of comparing yourself to your sister just see how high you actually stand compared to the rest of the world. Living under the shadow of an overachieving sibling can undermine confidence and in turn, make you undermine your own success.

Your parents may be losing faith in you because of how much your own sister has blinded their eyes, similar to a meteor in the sky. You know how after you see something bright, you can’t see perfectly clearly for a bit-I don’t think your parents have recovered from your sister’s brilliance yet. This isn’t your fault, nor is it theirs but you have to understand that. In reality, you may be a lot better than average but no one sees it because your that meteor following in your sister’s meteor trail and you may not shine so bright. There is nothing hard work cannot mend and I personally think you may be undermining your own self right now because you don’t feel special enough. Because at least if you didn’t try or if you weren’t successful you could blame it on your sister or on your lack of effort and you could still have the hope of being “special”.

Guys do go for pretty faces but just because they like her and admire her, doesn’t mean that she’s going to end up in a wonderful relationship. Relationships based on superficial values such as beauty or wealth result in melt-downs and after these guys discover that she isn’t as perfect as she seems, they’ll feel let down. Not all guys are jerks but there is a very large number that does exist. Yes, you may have been friend-zoned but destiny comes like a thief in the night, successful relationships aren’t based on perfection. Two people come together to fill the holes in their hearts, lovers should be friends on top of being partners. What boys admire your sister with is what I like to call lust. Biologically, a mate is ideally physically attractive for better offspring but in the terms of love, there needs to be a deeper emotional connection. I’m sorry if I’m rambling on but you need to stop thinking that she’s a better candidate to be loved because no one is better than another, it’s just the matter of finding the right partner.

Stop undermining yourself and focus on personal improvement rather than constantly comparing yourself to your sister. You need to have faith in yourself because I personally believe that you are equipped with similar if not same amount of potential as your sister. Your success may come later but no one is a failure and everyone is goddamn special in their own way. You just need to jump over a few hurdles before you get there.

- Love, Donghae ♥

(Unfortunately, my co-author seems to be M.I.A and I have a splitting headache on top of misbehaving ovaries and an English essay which is due the day after tomorrow so I won't be adding anything in here for now, I've rambled long enough up there already. I'm sorry i can barely function right now. I'd write more D:)