I'm Here.

Alone?

The past few months have been hard for Sungjong too. Every single day of the past three months Sungjong walked down the hospital hallway stopping outside of Hoya's room, looking in but never entering. Not even once. He repeatedly came back to check on how Dongwoo and Hoya was doing but he was scared to enter the room.

He felt guilty. He constantly had the thought that maybe if he had found out about Hoya like Sungkyu had told him to, then maybe Hoya wouldn't be laying there and Dongwoo wouldn't be in so much pain. He hated seeing Dongwoo like this. He hated how he couldn't see Dongwoo's beautiful smile. The world just seemed darker with out it.

He had watched everyone in their little group that they had. He watched their every emotions. I saw how everyone had a story that they were hiding. He saw that they all have experienced pain. But the thing that stood out to him the most was how one person could bring everyone together and make them all forget about their pain and troubles. It was like everyone was a piece of broken glass and Dongwoo was the glue that put every thing back together. But he also saw that Dongwoo himself had his own past that he was fighting with.

As well as seeing him as glue he also saw him as a bright candle that was slowly losing it's flame. Some times that candle was bright and other times that candle was dull. Sungjong thought that the flame shinned brighter when Hoya was there. Even though he didn't know it at the time.

He took a deep breath and turn around ready to make his way out of the hospital to school when his was stopped by Sungkyu. Which made him slightly cursed himself in his head. He thought that he always chose the right times so that he wouldn't bump into anyone. But there stood Sungkyu. 

"Oh, hello. Are you here to see Dongwoo or perhaps Hoya?" Sungkyu questioned.

"Oh, hello. I was just leaving. I was going to see both Hoya and Dongwoo. But I have just remembered that I have to do something before school starts." Sungjong lied as his eyes wondered.

"Oh okay then, I'll see you at school. But Sungjong. Don't feel burdened that Hoya is in the hospital it's no body's fault that he is in a coma. There is nothing anyone could have done. No one could have done anything in time." Sungkyu said as he stared at the back of Sungjong's head as he had began to leave.

Busted. It was strange how everyone in the group was able to read each other so well. Especially how the two couples were so wrapped in their own little word. He wasn't even sure if anyone had noticed that he felt as thought if was his fault. "I'll see you at school." Sungjong said before walking down the hall. As Sungkyu just sighed and walked into Hoya's hospital room. As he was welcomed by Dongwoo's smile.

"Hey" Dongwoo informally greeted. As he smiled at Sungkyu. He found it that his smile was becoming more and more forced with each and every passing day. 

"Hi. I just thought that I would stop by before school. I have something to say anyway." Sungkyu said as he rubbed his neck nervously. As he never visited in the mornings. He would always studied till late and even if he wasn't studying he would be practicing his singing, or going on a date with Woohyun. So he would be too tired to visit because that would mean he would have to wake up earlier. 

"Oh, something to say. What is it?" Dongwoo question curiously .

"Well. Dongwoo I'm really worried about you." Sungkyu said quietly.

"Why would you be worried about me? There is nothing to worry about." Dongwoo said in a sad voice. 

"Well... It's... I.... It's just that exams are coming. So now is not the time to be messing around. You should be studying and preparing for you future.. Not... Not sitting around waiting for Hoya to wake up." Sungkyu said quickly after collecting his thoughts.

Dongwoo sighed tiredly. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally. He hated that every one around him was indirectly trying to tell him to give up.

"I'm not wasting my time. I know that he would wake up but only if I'm by his side. I have to stay here... I know it's to much to ask for a favor but if you could do this one thing for me I would  be really grateful." Dongwoo said sadly, holding in his tears the were threatening to fall.  

"What is it?" Sungkyu breathed.

"Don't come back here. Please just don't. It has been hard for me not to fell sad to see Hoya here like this. And I'll be lying to you if I said that I haven't cried. But being constantly told that he may not wake up is really bothering me. I think that it best for Hoya to be surrounded by happiness and positivity. And that is something that you and everyone els has failed to show. So please tell everyone that if they have anything negative to say, then don't come here. I have enough clothes. And hospital food is not that bad." Dongwoo said sadly. He has had enough. He just couldn't deal with it any more.

"Dongwoo. I-" Sungkyu started but got cut off by Dongwoo.

"I just want to be alone. You should get going anyway school will start soon. I don't want you to miss out on your precious education." Dongwoo said and Sungkyu just bowed and took his leave.

Once Sungkyu was gone Dongwoo sighed and started to laugh uncontrollable. He didn't know why he was laughing. He didn't think anything was funny. But he continued to laugh when suddenly tears fell from his eyes. He did his best not to cry, but he once again failed. And that laughter that he once had was now hidden by a sorrowful cry.

 

The day went by and Sungjong couldn't concentrate. His mind kept replaying what Sungkyu had told him at the hospital. Maybe Dongwoo doesn't blame me, maybe I shouldn't feel burdened. He thought as he stared out of the window paying absolutely no attention to what the teacher was saying.

He made the decision to finally see Dongwoo and talk to him. He nodded his head in confident waiting for the lesson to finish before he changes his mind and wimps out. 

The lesson went by quicker then Sungjong had expected. So he made his way out of the school grounds and off towards the hospital. He didn't need to wait for the others like he always did because he texted them that he would be busy and that they shouldn't wait up.

On the way to the hospital he stopped to get something warm to drink.  He knew this really good place where they sold coffee, they also sold these chocolates that Dongwoo liked and he thought that it would be a good idea to buy him some. That way he would have to see Dongwoo in person.

He walked in to the shop that had a small amount of people in it. Once he got to the counter they took his order. So he stood waiting for his coffee and of course the chocolates for Dongwoo. The shop was quite but that was short lived as a lady started to shout furiously into the phone. She had long soft brown hair and looked some what similar to Dongwoo. But their personality was definitely different.

She was shouting about something to do with a wedding that she seemed to be arranging. He could tell if the person on the other end of the phone angered the women any more, she would rip the phone apart with her bear hands. He shivered at the thought and left straight after receiving what he had paid for, not sticking around to see the end of the conversation.

Sungjong took a deep breath as he stood outside of the hospital room seconds away from seeing Dongwoo after such a long time. He took another deep breath and knocked on the door entering when he was given permission to.

He walked in with a small smile on his face. Holding the chocolates behind his back. Well here goes nothing, Sungjong thought as he stared at Dongwoo, who was know staring back at him.

 

Dongwoo was reading a book. Strange he didn't usually read, but he had found himself reading a lot ever since he started to stay at the hospital. He heard a faint knock at the door. And he hoped it wasn't someone who was going to mess up his okay mood that he managed to get back.

The door open and he felt happy as he watched Sungjong walk into the room. He had stated to worry about him as time passed. He had started to wonder why he had not once came to visit.

"Hello, Dongwoo it's been awhile hasn't it?" Sungjong said shyly. As he moved his hands nervously behind his back.

"You got that right. I have missed you a lot. I was starting to get worried. Why didn't you come by sooner?" Dongwoo questioned happily as he hug Sungjong spotting the chocolates that where in his hands.

"Omg, is that for me? I haven't had them in a while and it seems like such a long time ago." Dongwoo said staring at the chocolates.

"Yes, it's kind of a way of me saying sorry for not coming to see you sooner. I have a lot of thinking to do. I'm sorry." Sungjong apologized. 

"No, there is no need to apologize. What matters is that you are here now." Dongwoo smiled at him and his heart seemed lighter. But it still felt like something was pulling on it and he wondered what it was.

"I hope Hoya wakes up soon. I would love to get to know him." Sungjong said as he smiled sadly looking at Hoya.

"Me too. I really think you could become good friends. Although at first it may take some time for him to warm up to you and be able to talk to you but there should be no problem." Dongwoo smiled. He was happy to see Sungjong and he was happy that he spoke like Hoya would wake up. After so many people telling him that he should give up this was just what he needed.

"Hey how about I stay and keep you company? You must be lonely here. All by yourself." Sungjong asked. It was the least he could do. And he wanted to spend time with Hoya even though he wasn't conscious yet.

"Sure. I think it would be okay. The doctor should be fine with it." Dongwoo said with a smile. He needed someone on his side. And he glad that Sungjong was that someone.

"Great. I'll just run home and get some stuff. I should be back soon." Sungjong said as he got up to leave.

"Sungjong." Dongwoo called.

"Yes" Sungjong answered unsure of what the other was going to say.

"Thank you. I really mean it, thank you." Dongwoo thanked.

"I haven't done anything. Anyway I'll go and come back." Sungjong said before walking out of the room.

He got home quite quickly and managed to get his stuff together quit quick too. He was now sitting on the bus on his way back to the hospital. As he drifted in thought. 

Today I saw a candle, the flame was almost burning out. Today I saw some glue, it was starting become weak. The glue was beginning to lose it's strength. The candle was beginning to lose it's glow. But some how today I managed to strengthen that glue. I managed to make that candle shine that little bit brighter. I know that I can't fully recover that candle's glow. I know that I can't fully strengthen the glue either. But what I do know is that I can make it keep going until the person that is right for the job is able to work. So Dongwoo hold in there. Things would glue together perfectly. And things would be visible in your candle light. Sungjong thought as he stared at the passing building as he neared the hospital once again.

 


Yay I have finally finished writing this chapter. So, how is it? I hope you like it.

I am really tired and I think I'm starting to catch a cold. So there is no pictures, memes or video's today, sorry.

Anyway thank you to the new subscribers and also to the old subscribers that have stuck by me. :)  

Please comment and let me know what you think of the fanfic. If there is anything I could improve on. Or just any comment in general. I would love to know what you think. Well. Until next time. Bye~     

 

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kittysmile4
Okay so I have finished writing the next chapter, but I have to proof read it. So just wait one more day. :)

Comments

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namisuju
#1
Chapter 39: When i read chapter 39 and saw the "2 years latter" i started to cry :'( but the story evolved so good!!It was a relief for both Hoya and Dongwoo that they debuted in the same group <3 And the story from the begging it was so nice :D Congrats Dongsaeng <3 I wish you the same "victory" in the other stories !!! Kisses :*
burdenheart #2
Chapter 39: ah my typos .. i meant 'to the point where' and 'to write more stories'
burdenheart #3
Chapter 39: hmm i couldn't have guessed that this story would end in the point were they formed infinite but now that i think about it it actually is clever thought and the plot was nice. i liked this story. thanks for writing it! :-)
i hope you will continue to write stories. hwaiting!
singsongsungjong #4
Interesting!!~
namisuju
#5
Chapter 37: What a sad and also a beautifil chapter!!!!That was the reallity of life because it's not always pink and fluffy..... :'( Hoya try his best not to bother anymore Dongwoo and instead of that,he leaving.... decision from a boy who loves deep the other half of him...!!!! keep going dongsaeng <3
namisuju
#6
Chapter 36: No goodbyes no goodbyes pleaseeeeeeee T.T I almost cry reading this chapter !!!Life is cruel.... Kyaaaaaaa Jung Soryong ^_^ I hope with this job that Soryong gave it to Hoya,to rethink the possibility to stay there !!!!!