In front of Hoya lay his sister. Dead and breathless. He stood staring at her face which was once smiling, now emotionless as she lay on the floor with a big cut on her wrist.

Hoya tried calling out for his parents, but when he opened his mouth not a sound was made. He dropped to the floor as tears gathered in his eyes.

Why? He thought with his eyes fixed on his sister, is it because of what I said? Because the thing I said to you I didn't mean it. I take it all back so come back to me. He thought as tears flowed out of his eyes like a waterfall.

His parents ran into the room because of the sound of the smashed plate. His mother's eyes started to tear up as she held Hoya in her arms, turning him away from the body. She let go of Hoya to allow his dad who was now standing next to them to carry him to his room where they placed him on his bed and left the room.

They return to his sister's room and called an ambulance and the police, they didn't know what else to do.

Hoya lay in his bed trying to forget what he just saw, but every time he closed his eyes the image of his sister entered his mind. This caused his heart to ache with pain and sorrow.

He heard footsteps coming closer to his room. He pretended that he was sleeping, which made them leave his room. A few seconds later he could hear shouting coming from the living room. He eyes started to tear up. Why are they shouting he thought with his hands over his ears. Why are they shouting on this a day like this? he continued to think as he finally fell asleep.

As the sun peeped throw the gaps in the curtain, Hoya jumped out of bed. He remembered last night clearly but refused to accept it.

He walked to his sister's room. He felt his heart ache and the images of the night before fill his heart with every step.

He opened up the door with much regret, as he stared into an empty room, not a sole in sight. He fell to the floor while clinging on to his chest.

Why did this have to happen? I don't get it, she was always happy. So why? He thought as tears fell to the floor.

For months Hoya locked himself in his room. He would eat very little and slept very little too. He promised himself that he would never dance again. This is because he thought that it was what caused his sister's death.

On a cold winters day when tidying his room he came across a wax sealed note. He opened it and his heart filled with pain. The note read.

Goodbye, I know I will never get say goodbye to you properly, so I'm going to do it now.

How have you been? Are you eating well? Are you sleeping well?

You were right Hoya, why was I born if I was just going to be ill all the time. But that's not why I'm going to kill myself there are many reasons why.

I was bullied, over that little time I spent at school I was bullied. I thought maybe it's supposed to be like this, but It hurt me so much mentally and physically. I got bruises and cuts every day. You never saw them because I covered them up. I never looked hurt because I hid it so well.

Why didn't I tell someone? That's what you're thinking, aren't you? I told mum be she just told me to ignore it, and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to burden you with my petty problems. I loved you. I still do, I will always love you. You're my brother and was the only one that means so much to me. Those words that you said hurt me more that any bully could. You're the only one that I thought cared for me, and I only cared for you.

I'm guessing that you have never seen mum and dad fight and argue. But I have. They try not to fight in front of you but did in front of me. They bring me into it sometimes, they say things put me into a position that will make the other hate me. but I think that they already do.

They knew my love for anime and japan, but they never really approved. They tried to get me do watch different thing and have interests in different things. I refused, they didn't like that, though.

I wonder is things okay now that I'm gone? Is thing still the same? 

I'm sorry that I caused so many problems.

I'm sorry.

~

She was bullied, she lived like that? Why didn't she tell me? I could have helped her. I should have been there for her. Some brother I am. I couldn't help her when she was in so much pain. Hoya thought as he finished reading the note. His heart sank, he promised himself that he would protect his sister no matter what. Yet he failed.

He stood up and placed the note on his desk, then left the room and made his way to his sister's room. He opened the door and stared into the empty room that had been untouched for almost a year now. Slowly he walked to her desk where a music box sat. The music played a Japanese song called bad apple.

She loved japan and this song in particular, so the nurses at the hospital gave it to her as a gift.

(The songs below)    

He remembered how they told her to chose a song and she chose this one. Everyone was curious why she chose this song when they asked she always said the same thing which was. 'There's something that draws her to it.'

Hoya picked up the music box and carried it to his room, he then folded the letter and placed it inside.

An image of the night his sister died appeared and caused him to wake from his sleep. He woke in the hospital the sun shining and a pink haired boy sleeping on his stomach.

This is the English version. 

Japanese version