Jessica POV

          My phone shut down when I’m about to call to the hospital because the battery’s run out. I just feel something is not right. I rush to the hospital and hope that everything is alright. I run to Soo Jung’s room to find Amber as soon as I arrive to the hospital. I saw a nurse in the room and she seems panic. I ask her what is wrong and I thought it’s about Soo Jung. But I was wrong.

“Thank god. I am about to call you right now. It’s Amber. He cuts his wrists and tries to suicide. No one saw him and by the time we found him, he’s already losing too much blood and passes out. Now, he is in an emergency room.”

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.

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What?!

What did she just say?! I cannot understand the situation at all.

Amber did what?!!!!!! Try to suicide??!!!!!

But Why?!!!

          I need to go and see him right now. I run to an emergency room and the door is still closed. I should calm down for now and wait. I need some times to think. Though I don’t know why exactly he did this, I also cannot say that I am completely unaware.

Is it because of me?!

          I know that he regrets his actions a lot and tries to be a better man for Soo Jung. But I gave him too much pressure though I know his feelings. I know everything is so hard for him to deal with right now. Still I didn’t care at all and keep giving him stress. I keep telling him that he should pay back for his sin.

          Maybe because of these words?! Then, he is as stupid as always. A big idiot. Did you think that you should pay back for your sin in this way, Amber?! You left Krystal and make her suffer. Shouldn’t you now stay beside her?! Why you try to leave her again, you stupid?! This time, you intend to leave her forever!!!

A tear comes out.

. . .

The room door opens and a doctor comes out.

“Doctor, how is he? Is everything alright?”

“He is safe now. But if only a little bit late and I am not sure that I can save him anymore. It’s worse than Krystal’s case though. He cut it deep and reaches to the main vessel. That’s why he lost too much blood. And I think he also have some problems and stress to go this far and try to suicide. Please take good care of him.”

          I can’t say anything. It’s all because of me. Because of me!!! I know exactly how Amber feeling now. The taste of guilty!!! Amber always blame himself for what he did to Krystal and bearing all the guilt he feels. Yet I didn’t think for him a bit and always saying mean things to him.  Now, I regret too. At that time, manager oppa calls me and said to come back for schedule. I still have to do the work though I don’t feel like it.

. . .

          I come back to the hospital as soon as I finish my work. I go to the Amber’s room and check him. He still doesn’t wake up yet. I ask the hospital to send him to Krystal’s room and have two of them in the same room. I cannot stay here for long. I need to go back to work later.

Amber POV

          Where am I ?! My body feels so heavy and I cannot lift my eyelids. I feel the pain from both of my wrists. I remember now. I cut it myself. Am I already dead now?!

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Now, I can feel that I am lying on something. Is it a bed?! I try to open my eyes and I cannot see things clearly at first.

A hospital?!

          I see. I am alive. They probably found me. What have I done?! Why am I so foolish?! I just made another mistake again while I should be trying to be better.  This is insane. This is not paying back for my sin. This is just running away and giving up.

          Krystal needs me. She loves me. Shouldn’t I just stay beside her?! It is that simple. I need to be strong for her. And I love her. She is always the one. I look around in the room and realize this is Krystal’s room. She is on the right side of my bed.

          I try to move my body. I feel like all the strengths drain from me and I feel weak. But I still try to go to her. I slowly walks to her bed and sits at the chair. I stare at Princess’s face silently. I reach to her hand and hold it.

“Princess, I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say exactly except apology. But I will promise you now. From now on, I won’t leave you ever again.”

. . .

I feel like someone is watching me. I look around and saw Jessica noona at the door.

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I cannot even look at her. I don’t know how to face her, with which strength. She is probably really mad at me right now. She should be. I look away from her.

“I am sorry, noona.”

. . .

A hard slap on my cheek!!!

. . .

I feel like my left cheek is burning. I became dizzy from the pain.

“Are you crazy?! Don’t you know that she needs you?!”

“I am so sorry! I don’t know what to say anymore except this.”

. . .

A silent!!!

She doesn’t say anything back to me. I also don’t have anything to say anymore. I cannot look at her and keep looking away. I just don’t know how to deal with her.

. . .

“Will you keep that promise?”

The promise?!

I turn to look at her.I don’t see a noona who is usually mad. She looks calm and…

Is she sad…?!

“Will you keep that promise to Soojung?”

She asks me again. She probably heard me earlier.

“Yes, I will.”

I answer confidently while looking into her eyes. She doesn’t say anything and keep looking at me.

. . .

She walks to me and hugs me.

. . .

I am in a daze and my brain cannot comprehend what is happening.

“I didn’t welcome you back since you back from America. I will do it properly now.”

She pats my head.

“Welcome back, Amber! Let’s try together for Soo Jung from now on.”

___________________________ x ____________________________

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